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Don't not make everything not private!
October 14, 2013 5:39 PM   Subscribe

Facebook privacy settings simulator
posted by Sebmojo (49 comments total) 35 users marked this as a favorite

 
"You got to Level 5 without losing your privacy."

Sweet! It's just like real life.
posted by Arbac at 5:49 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can't get past level 1. I am a facebook failure (in more ways than one).
posted by greenhornet at 5:53 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I got to level 7 and got distracted because they started repeating the questions. Fuck you, Zuckerberg!
posted by orme at 6:01 PM on October 14, 2013


I had no idea Zukerberg was so light on her feet.
posted by DonnyMac at 6:03 PM on October 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


This is hilarious.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:04 PM on October 14, 2013


Got to level 7, got to brush up on my French...
posted by Renoroc at 6:08 PM on October 14, 2013


An Account Cancellation Simulator would be pretty good, too.
posted by crapmatic at 6:16 PM on October 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


Level 8, also distracted by question repetition.
posted by pemberkins at 6:18 PM on October 14, 2013


Zuck you, Fuckerberg!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:23 PM on October 14, 2013 [20 favorites]


I was on G+, then App.net but had to quit that too. Right now I got an instance of Ghost running on Heroku. Don't know what I'll do if anyone finds me.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:24 PM on October 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


Hang on, we *aren't* meant to share relatives' casual racism? Huh.
posted by John Shaft at 6:26 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


This inspired me to go block a bunch of app requests and tidy up some detritus from Bad Facebook Game Decisions, so, success!
posted by Mizu at 6:49 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


The only way to win is not to play.
posted by hippybear at 6:55 PM on October 14, 2013 [32 favorites]


The only way to win is not to play.

Either that or nuking it from orbit.
posted by Celsius1414 at 7:01 PM on October 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


zuckerdance.gif
posted by Apropos of Something at 7:09 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I failed because I actually like seeing friends' children.
posted by maryr at 7:29 PM on October 14, 2013 [12 favorites]


This actually made me laugh out loud. So great.

(I failed at Level 3 because of the question that's the title of this thread >:( )
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 7:31 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I had to think about which answer would be 'right' to 'auto-like friends status when they announce they are single'. I wish they showed your 'incorrect' answer for a little longer!
posted by jacalata at 7:52 PM on October 14, 2013


Not so sure what's wrong with seeing pictures of friends' children. Of course, I like kids. They're funner than people who hate kids.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:57 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


It took me a LONG time to realize that on some of the questions you not only have to check the correct answer but also un-check the uncorrect answer. I post this here to save you the frustration I endured. Yes, you.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:05 PM on October 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


I got to level 4, too slow in unchecking wrong answers and checking right ones.
posted by amapolaroja at 8:19 PM on October 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you don't want to see pictures of friends children don't be friends with people with children. It's not like I really want to see your dog sleeping or what you're eating for dinner but I don't make a big deal out of that.

I don't even know what this is about because the link has stupid time limits.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 8:29 PM on October 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


level 6 but I was ROBBED
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:39 PM on October 14, 2013


I made it to level 7. Did I win the internship?
posted by oceanjesse at 8:56 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh god I fell for the double not not negative opposite day question DAMN YOU ZUCKERBERG
posted by Spatch at 8:58 PM on October 14, 2013


My god, that was hard. Level 5.
And annoying. JUST LIKE THE REAL THING.
posted by Mezentian at 9:32 PM on October 14, 2013


They got me with the French on level 3.
posted by bswinburn at 9:47 PM on October 14, 2013


Potato child fail! Who wouldn't want to see that?
posted by chapps at 9:49 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


I know someone who became very successful by creating a cheat guide to this game that can be installed in many browsers. Because of the crap he told me about, and the creepiness I encountered at a "machine learning" meetup in San Francisco that would better be described as a "squander the genius of our generation on advertising" meetup, I deleted my Facebook account.

I encourage you to do the same. As I'm in my 30s, Facebook seems to be mostly BabyfaceBook for my cohort, but there's other ways to get the same info. Resist. Resist, my friend. As you've probably noticed, Google is just as evil as Facebook these days. These companies give you an out where your government does not, take advantage of it. Do you want your life examined by 10 Snowdens or 10,000 Snowdens? Take the 10.

There is no social benefit that is worth what they take from you.
posted by Llama-Lime at 9:58 PM on October 14, 2013 [11 favorites]


i'm a social media expert with out a facebook. please pardon me lord zuckerberg.
posted by andendau at 10:45 PM on October 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Llama-Lime: ... I deleted my Facebook account. I encourage you to do the same.

I did that way back before it was cool.

A good friend of mine occasionally sends me amusing tidbits he encounters on Facebook, along with the teasing entreaty, "Now aren't you sorry you're not Facebook?" Well, no, because you're already always sending me what little good stuff there is on it. Geez.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:59 PM on October 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


Facebook privacy settings are a bit complex, but otherwise Facebook is great if you take a minute or two to filter out people whose updates are boring. If you don't do that because then there would be nothing left, the problem's not with Facebook, but your friends.
posted by Bugbread at 12:26 AM on October 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


Level 9!

The questions start repeating after a while but still, by the time I lost it was because I couldn't read them fast enough.
posted by Xany at 2:56 AM on October 15, 2013


At least it's not like the Playstation 3, an NSA distributed-supercomputing / botnet node designed to distribute cryptographic and other computationally expensive attacks across a multi-million-node mega-network of super-powerful computers that people actually pay money to own and co-locate in their homes.

^ "mania at work"

or is it "AI, work at man"...

^ "mania feeding its mockery"

or is it "seeking acid, if momentary..."

/bed-fucking-time
posted by lordaych at 3:12 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Llama-lime - the app you linked looked pretty good. Until I read the FAQ and found this gem: "If you choose to connect to AVG PrivacyFix™ with your Facebook account, your Facebook ID is transmitted securely and used to make your experience consistent across your computer and mobile apps as well as other AVG applications and services."

Soooo... Social networking is evil, and sharing your personal info is evil. So share your personal info with us so that we can help stop the evil? Require you to have a personal social profile to allow ease of use? What kind of mixed message is that anyway.
posted by caution live frogs at 4:42 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Level 6. It's certainly easier than the real thing.
posted by Decani at 5:20 AM on October 15, 2013


There is no social benefit that is worth what they take from you.

As they say: if you're not paying for it you're the product.
posted by clarknova at 5:29 AM on October 15, 2013


Lama-lime, that's an interesting idea but I wish your friend had partnered with somebody other than AVG. Theirs was the first free antivirus I ever used but they got dumped quite a long time ago for installing AskJeeves and a bunch of other non-AV stuff during an upgrade, without so much as a hopeful "meow?"

PS, "partnered" may not be just the right word. I see the privacyfix.com domain is registered to AVG Exploit Prevention Labs.
posted by jfuller at 5:35 AM on October 15, 2013



There is no social benefit that is worth what they take from you.

What do they take, exactly ? Pictures of my dog being wacky and my home address ?

I do sysadmin work, so I have a pretty well developed sense of paranoia already, but seriously. I don't understand what is so evil about FB as compared to pretty much every other entity you will do business with ever, forever and ever, ramen.

Now the credit card company.... they've got the dirt. Like, I need to start paying cash for beer.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 6:03 AM on October 15, 2013 [9 favorites]


I have a public facing searchable Facebook profile (and a real one where I haven't posted anything for coming up on a year), where I have no friends and my only interests are harmless, generic, non-offensive fun.

The no friends thing is accurate, the interests... not so much.
posted by Debaser626 at 6:09 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I installed PrivacyFix (on top of everything else) and haven't it given permissions for anything (also, no facebook) and so far I have found it of little value (but I already have NoScript, Adblock, Request Policy, Ghostery and others) but I know people for whom it might be a a wakeup call.
posted by Mezentian at 6:18 AM on October 15, 2013


Makes me happy to not be on Facebook. Not that I ever feel otherwise.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:47 AM on October 15, 2013


What do they take, exactly ? Pictures of my dog being wacky and my home address ?

They take whatever you give them. Clearly, you've not given them much, from your description. Not everybody is you.

Your well-developed sense of paranoia is spot-on. That doesn't mean that the false equivalence of "everyone does it, get over it, sheesh" makes it right or un-evil.
posted by blucevalo at 7:19 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm so confused. I can't get past level 1 for love or money but also cannot figure out why. It really is exactly like Facebook.
posted by like_a_friend at 7:42 AM on October 15, 2013


blucevalo: "They take whatever you give them. Clearly, you've not given them much, from your description. Not everybody is you. "

Yeah, but you don't hear the same arguments leveled at other services. If you post unsafe stuff on a LiveJournal or WordPress or Blogger or Twitter account, people call you an idiot. If you do it on Facebook, it's somehow Facebook being evil.
posted by Bugbread at 8:24 AM on October 15, 2013


If you post it to LiveJournal, the main difference is that it's the FSB not the NSA who hear your confessions.
posted by acb at 8:54 AM on October 15, 2013


Is that the prancercise lady???
posted by matty at 9:21 AM on October 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I just don't want my mom asking everyone if I have a meth problem after misunderstanding a joke I made after watching Breaking Bad. Sigh.

FB should be paying attention. This is why they're losing the tweens. http://www.rightmixmarketing.com/facebook-tips-tools/teenagers-facebook-infographic/

I went to one of those sales-heavy business intelligence trainings a while back and they showed a video of the CEO gushing over the amazing future where there will only be one uber-database to rule them all. Your grocery discount card, your credit cards, your doctor's appointments, your travel plans... All in one uber-database with cross-referencing between all. That database: Facebook. We were supposed to clap at this insight and most of the low-level BI nerds in the room were super pumped by the speech.

Gag me. I hope the kids keep off and stay off.
posted by Skwirl at 11:42 AM on October 15, 2013


> there's other ways to get the same info

Email & Dropbox shared folders. Don't need anything else. Maybe Flickr again some day.
posted by morganw at 12:04 PM on October 15, 2013


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