"Consider dat duh divohce."
October 21, 2013 9:56 AM   Subscribe

Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking requests and performing his famous one liners on YouTube.
posted by Chrysostom (91 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
Does he do the one about how the reason he became a Republican was because Richard Nixon was a Republican?
posted by Flunkie at 10:02 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Was he always such a terrible actor?
posted by Optamystic at 10:03 AM on October 21, 2013


Here's the reddit thread where it originates. The Governator is quite the star over there - he occasionally drops in to threads on r/fitness and elsewhere.
posted by firesine at 10:03 AM on October 21, 2013


Hey is that a Winnebago he's standing in front of? Will he do Winnebago Man lines?
"You can stick it up your fern if you want to!"
posted by smoothvirus at 10:03 AM on October 21, 2013


'Plow Chops'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:04 AM on October 21, 2013 [18 favorites]


Does he do the one about how the reason he became a Republican was because Richard Nixon was a Republican?


I don't think that's one of his famous one-liners from one of his films, so I would guess that the answer would be no.
posted by kbanas at 10:07 AM on October 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Holy crap, you mean that was real?!
posted by Flunkie at 10:10 AM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


If you read pretty much any of his comments, he comes across as a pretty decent guy, and seems to genuinely enjoy interacting with his fans.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 10:11 AM on October 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


I can't believe no one's suggested anything from John McTiernan's 1989 adaptation of The English Mail-coach yet. Every one of Arnold's lines is hammered gold.
posted by Iridic at 10:14 AM on October 21, 2013


I want him to tell us more about his favorite body part: DA ASS.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:14 AM on October 21, 2013


I was so glad "It's not a toomah!" was in there. That's the essence of Arnold for me, even more than "I'll be back."
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:15 AM on October 21, 2013 [10 favorites]


he comes across as a pretty decent guy

Agreed - here he is calming down an argument in r/fitness
posted by firesine at 10:16 AM on October 21, 2013 [10 favorites]


Was he always such a terrible actor?

On the contrary, the man is very convincing. The California Republican Party was fully convinced Arnie was the Terminator when it asked him to run for Governor in 2001.

According to secret minutes I've seen they believed that an emotionless behemoth from a different reality, without empathy and seeking to crush the weak for the good of future society was a perfect fit for 21st Century GOP political aspirations.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:16 AM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Worth it for the Conan what is best in life bit.
posted by jquinby at 10:21 AM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


> Was he always such a terrible actor?

Well, he was the right actor for the right roles at the right time. And when he wasn't we got movies like this.*

* warning: contains a sex scene between a heavily-pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger and Emma Thompson my wife will evermore wish should could unsee.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:21 AM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh that's so damn funny.
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on October 21, 2013


Was he always such a terrible actor?

As long as there are terrible movies, there will be a need for terrible actors to be terrible in them.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:23 AM on October 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


One hell of a lot more convincing as an actor than, say, Harrison Ford. Although Ford's lack of range means he was really able to nail that emotionless android part he played.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:26 AM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


I consider someone a terrible actor if they cannot entertain. Arnold can entertain.
posted by linux at 10:27 AM on October 21, 2013 [8 favorites]


Worth it for the Conan what is best in life bit.

That was terrific. On the other hand, I do a better "GET TO THE CHOPPA" than he does in this collection.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:27 AM on October 21, 2013


Nothing yet from "I Remember Cecil."
posted by Chrysostom at 10:28 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Put that cookie down is one of my favorite Arnold lines! If I remember correctly, Phil Hartman was on the receiving end of it.
posted by phunniemee at 10:31 AM on October 21, 2013


One hell of a lot more convincing as an actor than, say, Harrison Ford. Although Ford's lack of range means he was really able to nail that emotionless android part he played.

I beg to differ.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:31 AM on October 21, 2013


Was he always such a terrible actor?

No one knows whether Arnold Schwarzenegger is a terrible actor or a great one -- he's only ever played "Ahnuld" (a character who blows stuff up and spouts one-liners), with slight variations such as "Robot Ahnuld" (Terminator) and "Self-Aware Ahnuld" (Last Action Hero).
posted by Etrigan at 10:32 AM on October 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Will he do any line? Because "Flag it and move on" would be awesomely useful!

Theoretically, of course, on some website somewhere, I imagine.
posted by eriko at 10:34 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]






...And if you believe that you believe there's little Richard Simmons Juniors running around AH HA HA HA HA HA
posted by carsonb at 10:50 AM on October 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


he comes across as a pretty decent guy

Given Schwarzenegger's history of sexual harassment I'd say his decent guy schtick is proof that he's an excellent actor.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:00 AM on October 21, 2013 [8 favorites]


No one knows whether Arnold Schwarzenegger is a terrible actor or a great one -- he's only ever played "Ahnuld"
It's been a long time since I saw it, but his character in Twins was a departure from standard Arnold, wasn't it? And if I remember correctly he wasn't bad in it.
posted by Flunkie at 11:00 AM on October 21, 2013


Arnold Schwarzenegger is a reverse-engineered action figure. He was never meant to be mistaken for an actor or a human.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:01 AM on October 21, 2013


Someone's in my house eating my birthday cake!
posted by rollbiz at 11:05 AM on October 21, 2013


I love Arnold-the-actor so much, I can't help myself. I need him to do "You think this is the real Quaid? It is!" posthaste.
posted by Coatlicue at 11:08 AM on October 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Agreed - here he is calming down an argument in r/fitness

Come with me if you want to lift.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:09 AM on October 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Schwarzenegger doesn't have too much range, but he can be extremely fun to watch. I don't mean that in an ironic way. When he's well cast, it's gold.

I've heard he has a really impressive scene in the otherwise unimpressive Escape Plan.
posted by brundlefly at 11:21 AM on October 21, 2013


Oh man, the commentary track on Conan the Barbarian is truly what is best in life. I discovered it after learning that the director, John Milius, was the inspiration for Walter from the Big Lebowski. It'd probably be pretty boring if Arnold either:

A. remembered anything about the movie

or

B. wasn't really drunk
posted by Ham Snadwich at 11:25 AM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Keanu Reeves did an AMA yesterday, too. He was a total mensch, just the tiniest bit of promotion, lots of cool little tidbits about him as a person. He graciously agreed to say "whoa," although AFAIK he hasn't filmed it and put it on Youtube.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:26 AM on October 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


I don't remember which movie it was, but my favorite Arnold one-liner was when he was fighting this guy in an empty swimming pool, and the guy tries to escape by running for the shallow end, but Arnold catches up and bashes the dude's face into the stairs, and Arnold's all like "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE FINALLY TAKING SOME CONCRETE STEPS."

Somebody should have him do that one.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:30 AM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's easy to hate on a celebrity. Big points for anyone who can find flaws.

And it's easy to hate on a Republican official here on the Blue. You have loud support of the majority of your peers. Kudos for bravery there.

Gov. Schwartzenegger took an unpopular bill to the California legislature, and lost. So, he took it to the people directly, campaigned vigorously to sell it, and lost the popular referendum on it, too.

Then he did something amazing. He gave a public speech in which he admitted he was wrong: the people didn't want this, and he was wrong to push it. So, he retracted his support, and apologized for his mistake. And then he moved his politics to a position he felt was more in line with his constituents'.

Go find me another politician who's done that.

I may not like his politics, but the man has some damn admirable qualities.

Given Schwarzenegger's history of sexual harassment I'd say his decent guy schtick is proof that he's an excellent actor.

Everyone has flaws. Not every flaw makes all the difference in the world between Good(tm) and Evil(c). Schwarzenegger is flawed.
posted by IAmBroom at 11:32 AM on October 21, 2013 [9 favorites]


zombieflanders: "Keanu Reeves did an AMA yesterday, too. He was a total mensch, just the tiniest bit of promotion, lots of cool little tidbits about him as a person. He graciously agreed to say "whoa," although AFAIK he hasn't filmed it and put it on Youtube."

I'm not huge into memes but the idea that real Keanu thought Sad Keanu was funny is making me happy.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:34 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man I love Arnold in most of his movies. He's usually always so present in his films. I guess I understand why some people hate him, but he's almost always so entertaining.
posted by Carillon at 11:38 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I must be the only human in the world that likes Junior.
posted by royalsong at 11:41 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Everyone has flaws.

Some people aren't great tippers, other people repeatedly grope women and have secret families with their servants, yet other people attempt the mass murder of entire ethnicities. Obviously then Schwarzenegger has no more than middling flaws.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:53 AM on October 21, 2013 [10 favorites]


Keanu Reeves did an AMA yesterday, too. He was a total mensch, just the tiniest bit of promotion, lots of cool little tidbits about him as a person. He graciously agreed to say "whoa," although AFAIK he hasn't filmed it and put it on Youtube.

Keanu Reeves is, hand down, my absolute favorite celebrity. While this isn't hard (I generally cannot stand the cult of celebrity worship), I have never heard a story about him from anywhere that makes him sound like anything but a genuinely nice, down to earth dude.

He is, truly, one radical son of a bitch.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 11:59 AM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Some people aren't great tippers, other people repeatedly grope women and have secret families with their servants, yet other people attempt the mass murder of entire ethnicities.

We can't all live up to our fathers' expectations.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:05 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


And then he moved his politics to a position he felt was more in line with his constituents'.

he left office with a record low 23%, only one percent higher than that of Gray Davis's when he was recalled in October 2003.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:09 PM on October 21, 2013


You people bagging on Arnold Schwarzenegger's and Harrison Ford' acting abilities need to zip it. These men aren't actors so much as they are movie stars. Especially Arnold. The brawn, the accent, the presence of Arnold make him extremely watchable, even in non-action roles.

Harrison Ford is a type. I imagine he's much the same off-camera. This doesn't mean he can't act, though. Watch the interrogation scene at the start of The Fugitive and tell me that's not acting.
posted by zardoz at 12:19 PM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


You got whatchoo came for, Cohagen, gifdis peepw eeah!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:29 PM on October 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


This sounds great, but I won't go in unprepared.
posted by Peccable at 12:34 PM on October 21, 2013


Arnold is like Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel in that they are virtuosic actors within their range, which is tiny.
posted by griphus at 12:40 PM on October 21, 2013


It's tiny because of all the steroids.
posted by pencroft at 12:49 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I could use him saying "Caleyforneyaa" a few dozen more times. Or saying it once properly.

Also: "Maria, why are you leafing? She meant nothing to me: nothing? Haff dat political capitol is MINE!"
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:50 PM on October 21, 2013


Also one of my life's biggest regrets is not having stolen any of the numerous RE-ELECT GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER yard signs from when I lived in suburban LA.

Like an ELECT GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER sign is whatever, but the RE-ELECT one should be on the cover of a high school American History textbook.
posted by griphus at 12:58 PM on October 21, 2013


Obviously then Schwarzenegger has no more than middling flaws.

Eh. Schwarzenegger isn't the most reprehensible self-parody on Reddit lately.

(I'm surprised "You haff ben erased." didn't make the short list.)
posted by octobersurprise at 1:09 PM on October 21, 2013


Was he always such a terrible actor?

Let's assume that's a rhetorical question.
posted by aught at 1:11 PM on October 21, 2013


Who iss yoah daddee and vut duss he do?
posted by stenseng at 1:18 PM on October 21, 2013



he left office with a record low 23%, only one percent higher than that of Gray Davis's when he was recalled in October 2003.


He was also elected twice and appointed Democrats as advisors in his second term. He was no Ted Cruz.
posted by zippy at 1:40 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


His being cast in Total Recall as an average Joe who just happens to be an enormous muscleman is one of the major things that made that film the unique, great work that it is, rather than just another shitty PKD adaptation.
posted by griphus at 1:43 PM on October 21, 2013


Arnold is like Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel in that they are virtuosic actors within their range, which is tiny.

I'd argue that Johnson has a much broader range than the other two.
posted by brundlefly at 2:06 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Plus, he'll always have the scene in Total Recall where he pulls a huge tracking bug out of his nose.

That was a puppet. Let's give credit where credit is due.
posted by brundlefly at 2:06 PM on October 21, 2013


"His being cast in Total Recall as an average Joe who just happens to be an enormous muscleman is one of the major things that made that film the unique, great work that it is..."

And he was a secret agent with a very recognizable way of speaking. Everybody on Mars should have talked like that, eet wood haf bin crazee!
posted by Kevin Street at 2:09 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd argue that Johnson has a much broader range than the other two.

If you want to really get down-and-dirty into their careers, then I would agree on a general basis, yeah.

However, Schwarzenegger has a great sense of comic timing -- probably even better than Dwayne Johnson -- and Vin Diesel either hasn't been offered or hasn't taken as many chancy roles as the other two, so we've never really see him stretch.
posted by griphus at 2:13 PM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


What zardoz said. Arnold is limited as an actor, but he's definitely a movie star. He's shown he can do at least two things well - play a tough guy, and wink at his own tough-guyness. That's something he and Dwayne Johnson share, and it makes them both more appealing than your standard-issue Lundgren or Van Damme types.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 2:21 PM on October 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Yeah. If being a huge muscle man with a pre-existing fanbase was all it took to be a star, Hulk Hogan might have been the Terminator.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:27 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can someone explain the appeal of Sylvester Stallone to me? By all accounts, he's a hack. Lundgren has no business being in a leading role but is fine supporting, and Van Damme is good when you can't afford anyone better or don't want to distract the audience from the special effects and punchkicks with acting ability, but what in god's name got Stallone as much work as he had?
posted by griphus at 2:33 PM on October 21, 2013


Stallone writes and directs a large number of his movies, so I think that plays a big part. Also Rocky is awesome, but I grew up in Philly, so I am probably biased.
posted by Literaryhero at 2:39 PM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I can take or leave Stallone, although I actually like him a bit more in his current, grizzled incarnation. Also, Demolition Man is awesome and don't you dare say otherwise.
posted by brundlefly at 2:42 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Vin Diesel either hasn't been offered or hasn't taken as many chancy roles as the other two, so we've never really see him stretch.
I haven't seen it, but I've heard positive things about Diesel in "Find Me Guilty", and as I understand it it is completely not "Fast and Furious XXIII: The Furiousening".
posted by Flunkie at 2:43 PM on October 21, 2013


Stallone gets a free pass for life for writing and acting in Rocky. It's been downhill ever since, but damn was Rocky a good movie.
posted by Cookiebastard at 2:50 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Forget about Rocky, First Blood is by far Stallone's best work. He literally put blood, sweat, and tears into it. It's a damn shame that he bought into the right-wing myth that it was supposed to be pro-war when anyone who watched it (the end in particular) saw that it was anything but. Apparently he has regrets over the sequels, partially for that reason.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:53 PM on October 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


First Blood really is crazy good.
posted by absalom at 3:05 PM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Harrison Ford is a type. I imagine he's much the same off-camera.

(I used to work in the movie production biz, and Ford has two settings:

1. Exactly the kind of perpetually annoyed, nitpicking, hardass grouch you might imagine from many of his recent characters, yes, but also

2. An extremely genial, avuncular, boisterous guy who is quite sloshed and/or stoned at the time

There's a scene in a recent-ish Ford movie with a bar. He was known to be in a lousy mood the day he'd be looking at sets with the director, and there was concern that he'd insist on a bunch of changes, so the fake bar was carefully stocked with a selection of real booze to which he was partial. Several hours later, inspection complete, he and the director signed off on everything, and everybody went home early.

I keep waiting for a movie starring The Other Ford, involving a lot of backslapping, singing, fatherly advice, and on-set gossip amid clouds of vape mist.)
posted by the brave tetra-pak at 3:10 PM on October 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'll defend Diesel, on the weight of "Multi-Facial", even though I haven't seen him live up to its potential in anything since, except maybe Pitch Black.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:23 PM on October 21, 2013


Is anything from Pumping Iron in there yet?

"It's as satisfying to me as, uh, coming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and coming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven."
posted by aaronetc at 3:23 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I keep waiting for a movie starring The Other Ford, involving a lot of backslapping, singing, fatherly advice, and on-set gossip amid clouds of vape mist.

I've got a good feeling about this.
posted by octobersurprise at 3:44 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


In defense of Stallone, in addition to the other films already mentioned, he was quite good in Cop Land (aka Copland). He's certainly not a chameleonic type of actor who can transform himself into a wide variety of characters, but he does have some skills.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 4:11 PM on October 21, 2013


I keep waiting for a movie starring The Other Ford, involving a lot of backslapping, singing, fatherly advice, and on-set gossip amid clouds of vape mist.

Harrison Ford, Vin Diesel and James International Harvester in "The Truck Brothers."
posted by zippy at 4:16 PM on October 21, 2013


Stallone's appeal in movies such as First Blood, Rocky and to a lesser extent, Cop Land, is that he represents kind of a noble savage.
posted by quosimosaur at 4:19 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Requests? Cueing up "All Tomorrow's Parties" on the karaoke machine RIGHT NOW.
posted by snofoam at 4:21 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love Arnold Schwarzenegger so much I didn't even need to Google his surname to know how to spell it. Arnold: Education of a Bodybuilder is actually a great little inspiri-motivational book.

And, c'mon. Total Recall? Predator? True Lies? T2? Commando? That's like the quintilogy of American cinematic action art. Anybody who says those aren't their favourite movies is a liar and a heretic. Amazing.

Luckily I didn't have to deal with him actually being in charge of anything that affects me because from what I can tell he really fucked the pooch with that stuff. Then, he takes the suit and tie off, and suddenly he's good again: I even enjoyed The Last Stand and am keen to see that prison break movie with him and Sly. Expendables 2 was godawful on every level though.

Fun maybe-fact on the subject of Rocky, after the first three they were like "Rocky has beaten everybody in the world, there are no humans left to fight" and they figured, "what about an alien?", and that's how Predator started to get written.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:37 PM on October 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, Jean-Claude Van Damme was a originally slated to play the Predator.
posted by brundlefly at 4:42 PM on October 21, 2013


"Noble savage" may a bit reductive, quosimosaur, but now that you've said that, it strikes me that Stallone's best roles do seem to be mostly of a type: an underdog fighting against long odds. There's nobility, at least implied, in that. And, in that none of his characters are what you'd call intellectuals, you could think of them as savages. But thinking of that handful of films, I get more of an "average Joe pushed to the brink" kind of vibe. YMMV, of course.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 4:47 PM on October 21, 2013


Also, Stallone's character in Cobra, Marion Cobretti, is actually Axel Foley from Beverly Hills Cop. Stallone was slated to star in that movie, and the Cobra script was his take on the Beverly Hills Cop script.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:48 PM on October 21, 2013


Cobra was actually really terrifying to me as a kid, though I can't remember why. In my juvenile brain it was just as scary as Aliens. Also, there was a Cobra game I had on the Amstrad that was really cool (*experiences epic nostalgia flashback*).
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:55 PM on October 21, 2013


it strikes me that Stallone's best roles do seem to be mostly of a type: an underdog fighting against long odds

Interestingly, that also sort of describes his greatest role: Machine Gun Joe Viterbo in Death Race 2000.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:28 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, the "noble savage" comparison doesn't quite fit, but I think it's a resonant idea. Stallone's defining roles cast him as a withdrawn outsider whose ability to withstand and deal out brutish violence masks an inner sentimentality. Stallone takes the "average Joe" vibe and overlays a sense of tragedy; for example, compare archetypal Stallone with Roddy Piper in They Live.
posted by quosimosaur at 5:33 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


This wreaks of desperation.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 5:56 PM on October 21, 2013


I keep waiting for a movie starring The Other Ford, involving a lot of backslapping, singing, fatherly advice, and on-set gossip amid clouds of vape mist.

I don't even smoke pot, but I've just added Getting Baked With Harrison Ford to my bucket list.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:01 PM on October 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I want him to do lines he has never done in his impeccable style, like

Chrom, Chrom, Chrom sind alle meine Kleider,
Chrom, Chrom, Chrom ist alles, was ich hab.
Darum lieb ich alles was so Chrom ist,
Weil mein Schatz ein Terminator ist.
posted by maus at 7:10 PM on October 21, 2013


Room 641-A: "And then he moved his politics to a position he felt was more in line with his constituents'.

he left office with a record low 23%, only one percent higher than that of Gray Davis's when he was recalled in October 2003.
"

Your point? Constituents have long memories, and their impression of him is often unrelated to his actual intentions.
posted by IAmBroom at 8:49 AM on October 22, 2013


I can't find a clip but in the movie Eraser there is a bit that Siskel and Ebert delighted in. When the bad guys are loading weapons onto a ship instead of taking them on single handed, Ahnold's character just walks over to the union office and let's them know a boat is being loaded without union help. Tony Two Toes is not happy wit' dis news.

Tony Two Toes: We're from the local 129th, sonny.
Mikey: We heard you was loading a ship without the assistance of bonefide union labor. Say it ain't so.
posted by Ber at 10:19 AM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


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