How Pixar screwed up cartoon cars for a generation of kids
October 22, 2013 3:58 PM Subscribe
"The eyes of anthropomorphized cars are the headlights, not the windshield. When we look at a car, we see the front end as a sort of face. They're almost always bilaterally symmetrical, like a face, they have roughly the same number of general features, so it's easy to ascribe eyes, mouth, and even sometimes a nose to the various components. Like I said, we're really good at doing this. Consider the simple emoticon — :-) — and you'll see what I mean. We see faces in everything."
"I'm so adamant about this because, now that I have a kid, he has lots of anthropomorphized toy cars. About half do it right, with headlights as eyes, and half are making the inane mistake. I don't want him brought up like that. I want him to go out into the world, look at a car's front end, and see a friendly face, or a determined face, or an angry face, or whatever kind of face. It's fun. If he's trained to think he has to see eyes in a windshield for a car to have a face, then that requires a specially modified car, and that's only provided by some entertainment corporation as some promotional thing, looking to make a buck. We can't let them take our car faces away from us."
"I'm so adamant about this because, now that I have a kid, he has lots of anthropomorphized toy cars. About half do it right, with headlights as eyes, and half are making the inane mistake. I don't want him brought up like that. I want him to go out into the world, look at a car's front end, and see a friendly face, or a determined face, or an angry face, or whatever kind of face. It's fun. If he's trained to think he has to see eyes in a windshield for a car to have a face, then that requires a specially modified car, and that's only provided by some entertainment corporation as some promotional thing, looking to make a buck. We can't let them take our car faces away from us."
(One of the commenter's in the first link points out this mildly creepy "headlight vendor" scene from Cars 2 as an example of why this wouldn't work too well.)
posted by Rhaomi at 4:08 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Rhaomi at 4:08 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
I want him to go out into the world, look at a car's front end, and see a friendly face, or a determined face, or an angry face, or whatever kind of face. It's fun.
Fun or not, a car's real face is that of its driver. Looking at the front end of a car is not going to tell you what that car is going to do. The driver's face might.
As for why Pixar did it, what Rhaomi said. Also, cars as living things have been around in illustrations and animations from the very beginning, and they always used the headlights for eyes until Pixar -- but "Cars" differs from almost all of those in that there are no people. They put the eyes up in the windshield because otherwise there's no reason for that part of the car to exist. Certainly you can't show a transparent windshield with seats behind it -- what would they be for?
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:10 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
Fun or not, a car's real face is that of its driver. Looking at the front end of a car is not going to tell you what that car is going to do. The driver's face might.
As for why Pixar did it, what Rhaomi said. Also, cars as living things have been around in illustrations and animations from the very beginning, and they always used the headlights for eyes until Pixar -- but "Cars" differs from almost all of those in that there are no people. They put the eyes up in the windshield because otherwise there's no reason for that part of the car to exist. Certainly you can't show a transparent windshield with seats behind it -- what would they be for?
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:10 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
I'm surprised the article didn't mention anything about the Chevron Cars ads, which were created by Aardman Animations in 1995 and still used. And they're no slouch compared to Pixar either, since they made both Shaun the Sheep and Wallace & Gromit.
posted by FJT at 4:11 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by FJT at 4:11 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
The Pixar cars make more sense if you think of the headlights as dimples.
posted by oulipian at 4:16 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by oulipian at 4:16 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Certainly you can't show a transparent windshield with seats behind it -- what would they be for?
That's where they keep the dessicated bodies of the unliving demiliches from which the Cars extract their souls and intelligence with the writhing mass of parasitic tendrils they have evolved.
I have not seen Cars, but this is how I choose to understand the basis of their sentient-automobile reality.
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:17 PM on October 22, 2013 [49 favorites]
That's where they keep the dessicated bodies of the unliving demiliches from which the Cars extract their souls and intelligence with the writhing mass of parasitic tendrils they have evolved.
I have not seen Cars, but this is how I choose to understand the basis of their sentient-automobile reality.
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:17 PM on October 22, 2013 [49 favorites]
George_Spiggott: "Certainly you can't show a transparent windshield with seats behind it -- what would they be for?"Good thing TFA addresses this.
I'll just leave this here.
posted by brokkr at 4:18 PM on October 22, 2013
I'm so adamant about this because, now that I have a kid, I only want him to use his imagination to see the world one way, and that's my way. I mean, what if he sees a face in a grilled cheese sandwich and thinks it's Jeff Bridges?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:20 PM on October 22, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:20 PM on October 22, 2013 [19 favorites]
It's a schism, for sure, and let's at least just hope that it remains a schism forever, because the last thing anybody wants is to end up trying to ever sleep again after someone tries to find some sort of compromise point between the two approaches. Some sort of half-headlight, half-windshield Salvador Dali melting-eyeballs shit, I don't even know what it'd look like and I'm in terror of somehow learning.
posted by cortex at 4:20 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by cortex at 4:20 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
I think I'm a bit overly sensitive to the expressions conveyed by the headlight shape of cars, given the trend towards furrowed brow anger (Chevy Camero), slinty eyed predators (Ford Fusion) and downright mean (Chrysler 300) looking front-ends.
Not every car has to be wearing a look of wide-eyed naivete like a VW Bug, but still, a little less malice on the roads would be nice.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 4:21 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
Not every car has to be wearing a look of wide-eyed naivete like a VW Bug, but still, a little less malice on the roads would be nice.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 4:21 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
I don't let my kids watch Cars, because it's obviously indoctrination for the Singularity.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:21 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by KokuRyu at 4:21 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
The article's author, replying to a comment: "I'm just saying, if we give Pixar a pass on this, we give them free reign to reassign features at will, and when they finally do a movie about anthropomorphized people, the NIPPLES will be the eyes. Just you wait."
posted by oulipian at 4:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [34 favorites]
posted by oulipian at 4:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [34 favorites]
Good thing TFA addresses this.
Heh. I don't normally do that, but in this case the basic question seemed to be inherent in the text of the post. Okay, what the article says is:
why do they have seats? Or steering wheels or door handles or dashboards or pedals or anything like that?
Don't make me watch the films again, but I don't recall that they ever showed any of those things. Well, there are a few door handles, judging from a Google image search.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:25 PM on October 22, 2013
Heh. I don't normally do that, but in this case the basic question seemed to be inherent in the text of the post. Okay, what the article says is:
why do they have seats? Or steering wheels or door handles or dashboards or pedals or anything like that?
Don't make me watch the films again, but I don't recall that they ever showed any of those things. Well, there are a few door handles, judging from a Google image search.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:25 PM on October 22, 2013
So what are the proper eye analogues on a plane?
posted by audi alteram partem at 4:26 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by audi alteram partem at 4:26 PM on October 22, 2013
Man, a pre-bean-plated FPP.
I want him to go out into the world, look at a car's front end, and see a friendly face
Really? You want your kid running towards cars expecting a positive encounter? What next.. happy power drill dude and cheerful circular saw woman, with table saw kid.
posted by edgeways at 4:28 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
I want him to go out into the world, look at a car's front end, and see a friendly face
Really? You want your kid running towards cars expecting a positive encounter? What next.. happy power drill dude and cheerful circular saw woman, with table saw kid.
posted by edgeways at 4:28 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
when they finally do a movie about anthropomorphized people
I hate when movies try to anthropomorphize people. It's almost as bad as objectifying cars.
posted by straight at 4:30 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I hate when movies try to anthropomorphize people. It's almost as bad as objectifying cars.
posted by straight at 4:30 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Actually, what I hate are people who fetishize cars so much they're worried their kids might not think cars are awesome in the same way they do.
posted by straight at 4:32 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by straight at 4:32 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
People are a lot like tiny humans whose pupils get hard when they're cold.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:33 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:33 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
What next.. happy power drill dude and cheerful circular saw woman, with table saw kid.
Hey, Cecil the Circular Saw was one of my best friends growing up. He taught me a lot about courage and doing the right thing and learning to forgive your best friend for cutting your hand off.
posted by cortex at 4:37 PM on October 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
Hey, Cecil the Circular Saw was one of my best friends growing up. He taught me a lot about courage and doing the right thing and learning to forgive your best friend for cutting your hand off.
posted by cortex at 4:37 PM on October 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
I do a lot of driving at night in the dark, and I'm really susceptible to this...I feel a little anxious with one of those cars glaring at me in my rearview mirror, or a little tired when someone's sleepy taillights keep blinking at me. I wish the car companies wouldn't go so wild with it, it's really distracting, especially when you're driving at times when you should be sleeping.
posted by nevercalm at 4:43 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by nevercalm at 4:43 PM on October 22, 2013
Conversation with roommate's 8-year-old nephew after sitting through Cars a third time:
"Where do you think all the people are for these cars?"
"I don't know. They're just cars. These cars don't have people."
"That's because they murdered all the people."
"What? No!"
"It's true. They murdered them for not wearing seatbelts."
"WAAAAAAAUGH!"
"Wear your seatbelt or the cars will murder you!"
posted by klangklangston at 4:44 PM on October 22, 2013 [42 favorites]
"Where do you think all the people are for these cars?"
"I don't know. They're just cars. These cars don't have people."
"That's because they murdered all the people."
"What? No!"
"It's true. They murdered them for not wearing seatbelts."
"WAAAAAAAUGH!"
"Wear your seatbelt or the cars will murder you!"
posted by klangklangston at 4:44 PM on October 22, 2013 [42 favorites]
Cheerful Circular Saw Woman was my first nanny. Those teeth. Those. Teeth...
I'll never forget her words when she bent down to pick up my baby brother.
"Give us a kiss, Luv!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:44 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'll never forget her words when she bent down to pick up my baby brother.
"Give us a kiss, Luv!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:44 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is what I think of every time I see the Ford Fusion.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:45 PM on October 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:45 PM on October 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
Are we totally ignoring the "sexy Lady" L.E.D. eyebrows on a lot of high end cars?
posted by djrock3k at 4:51 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by djrock3k at 4:51 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I like a lot of what Pixar does, but damn, everything about the Cars universe is weird and wrong. The windshield-eyeball thing is just the gross icing on a very weird and wrong cake.
The suspension of disbelief is one thing, but the Cars premise just raises too many damn questions. How did the cars come to live in an Earth-like world without any people? Is this supposed to be an alternate reality, or the future, or what? How do the cars reproduce? Do they have internal organs? Also, LARRY THE CABLE GUY? What is that walking talking hemorrhoid doing in a Pixar film?
I do really like you Pixar... but fuck Cars. Fuck your whole weird, wrong franchise.
So what are the proper eye analogues on a plane?
They just did that Planes movie. But the windshield eyes make some sense in that case, because planes don't have headlights on their fronts just waiting to be anthropomorphized as eyeballs.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:01 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
The suspension of disbelief is one thing, but the Cars premise just raises too many damn questions. How did the cars come to live in an Earth-like world without any people? Is this supposed to be an alternate reality, or the future, or what? How do the cars reproduce? Do they have internal organs? Also, LARRY THE CABLE GUY? What is that walking talking hemorrhoid doing in a Pixar film?
I do really like you Pixar... but fuck Cars. Fuck your whole weird, wrong franchise.
So what are the proper eye analogues on a plane?
They just did that Planes movie. But the windshield eyes make some sense in that case, because planes don't have headlights on their fronts just waiting to be anthropomorphized as eyeballs.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:01 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
MY biggest problem with Pixar's Cars is that's it's basically just a remake of Doc Hollywood, except instead of Julie Warner as the love interest, Pixar gives us Larry the Cable Guy.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:02 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:02 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Wasn't there a scene where two groupie cars flash their headlights at Lightning McQueen? That joke doesn't work if the headlights are the eyes.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:04 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:04 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
The suspension of disbelief is one thing, but the Cars premise just raises too many damn questions. How did the cars come to live in an Earth-like world without any people? Is this supposed to be an alternate reality, or the future, or what? How do the cars reproduce? Do they have internal organs?
I dunno, I like to imagine Lightning McQueen and Mustang Sally humping. It's like some Lovecraftian Non-Euclidean mindfuck that reinforces how alien and inhospitable their world is to organic life.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:07 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I dunno, I like to imagine Lightning McQueen and Mustang Sally humping. It's like some Lovecraftian Non-Euclidean mindfuck that reinforces how alien and inhospitable their world is to organic life.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:07 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
For all of you wondering what happened to the humans in Cars.. obv you've not read enough Roger Zelazny. I give you Devil Car. Welcome
posted by edgeways at 5:11 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by edgeways at 5:11 PM on October 22, 2013
It's Raining Florence Henderson sums up my feelings about this quite well. Also worth mentioning—if your car's eyes are its headlights, it might be Christine.
posted by Mister_A at 5:12 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by Mister_A at 5:12 PM on October 22, 2013
but the Cars premise just raises too many damn questions.
And where are all the motorcycles in the Cars Universe? Maybe they're all dismantled and it's publicly denied because of some horrific eugenics policy.
posted by FJT at 5:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
And where are all the motorcycles in the Cars Universe? Maybe they're all dismantled and it's publicly denied because of some horrific eugenics policy.
posted by FJT at 5:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
The Hamms Bear: "Wasn't there a scene where two groupie cars flash their headlights at Lightning McQueen? That joke doesn't work if the headlights are the eyes."
The joke would still work if they'd flashed their underdeveloped, almost nascent, fog/driving lights at him.
It's just a whole lot creepier…
posted by Pinback at 5:18 PM on October 22, 2013
The joke would still work if they'd flashed their underdeveloped, almost nascent, fog/driving lights at him.
It's just a whole lot creepier…
posted by Pinback at 5:18 PM on October 22, 2013
WAIT THERE'S MORE. The writer sounds like someone who has never even MET a kid, much less has one of his own. Can anyone who has spent any time around children honestly worry that their son or daughter will have trouble anthropomorphizing things? Because kids do it all the time, with no guidance from parents, teachers, or media conglomerates required.
One day my son, age 2 at the time, was down on his hands and knees making blowing noises. "Whatcha doin'," I asked him. He explained that he was "winding the Doodle Fairy." I didn't see anything but a little dust bunny, so I asked him if the Doodle Fairy was invisible. "No, this is the Doodle Fairy," he explained, cupping the dust bunny in his hand.
So this kid anthropomorphized a CLUMP OF DUST! It had enough human-like characteristics (made of matter, reflects light in some wavelengths) to get a name and have a whole game built around it. And that's the way kids are! Clumps of dust, pieces of grass, sticks, they all have rich secret lives that they reveal to kids! Don't worry about the fake car-eyes, your kids will play with cars, if that's what they want to do, in such a rich and imaginative and vivid way that your heart will break with joy to behold it.
posted by Mister_A at 5:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [18 favorites]
One day my son, age 2 at the time, was down on his hands and knees making blowing noises. "Whatcha doin'," I asked him. He explained that he was "winding the Doodle Fairy." I didn't see anything but a little dust bunny, so I asked him if the Doodle Fairy was invisible. "No, this is the Doodle Fairy," he explained, cupping the dust bunny in his hand.
So this kid anthropomorphized a CLUMP OF DUST! It had enough human-like characteristics (made of matter, reflects light in some wavelengths) to get a name and have a whole game built around it. And that's the way kids are! Clumps of dust, pieces of grass, sticks, they all have rich secret lives that they reveal to kids! Don't worry about the fake car-eyes, your kids will play with cars, if that's what they want to do, in such a rich and imaginative and vivid way that your heart will break with joy to behold it.
posted by Mister_A at 5:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [18 favorites]
He clearly doesn't want his kid to play with cars in "such a rich and imaginative and vivid way that your heart will break with joy to behold it." He wants his kid to play with cars the way HE played with cars. Which breaks my heart at the dullness of it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:33 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:33 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
This is like arguing that watching Scooby Doo ruins the experience of having an actual dog.
...which when you think about it is maybe kind of true.
posted by billyfleetwood at 5:37 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
...which when you think about it is maybe kind of true.
posted by billyfleetwood at 5:37 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
How did the cars come to live in an Earth-like world without any people?
Jon Negroni has it all figured out (and more).
posted by BungaDunga at 5:38 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Jon Negroni has it all figured out (and more).
posted by BungaDunga at 5:38 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Why do we even need to have anthropomorphized cars at all? Driving a car is serious business and no kid should grow up thinking they're "fun" or "cute". Those same kids are the ones who grow up and run people over on the streets of our country.
posted by orme at 5:39 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by orme at 5:39 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
"I dunno, I like to imagine Lightning McQueen and Mustang Sally humping."
Why imagine?
posted by klangklangston at 5:40 PM on October 22, 2013
Why imagine?
posted by klangklangston at 5:40 PM on October 22, 2013
According to the Cars page on the Pixar Wikia, one of the inspirations was Tex Avery's cars in One Cab's Family, which oddly got a "pass" on the grounds that "at that time not all cars had headlights."
Except headlamps were required in cars in the US by the early 1940s. #Ragefail
posted by filthy light thief at 5:49 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
Except headlamps were required in cars in the US by the early 1940s. #Ragefail
posted by filthy light thief at 5:49 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
Why do we even need to have anthropomorphized cars at all? Driving a car is serious business and no kid should grow up thinking they're "fun" or "cute". Those same kids are the ones who grow up and run people over on the streets of our country.
The same thing happened when they made this cute little guy back in the '70s.
posted by scrowdid at 5:50 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
The same thing happened when they made this cute little guy back in the '70s.
posted by scrowdid at 5:50 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
My kids love Cars. I don't mind Cars. I prefer the eyes to be the windscreen. So that guy is wrong.
Stay tuned for further pronouncements.
posted by awfurby at 5:52 PM on October 22, 2013
Stay tuned for further pronouncements.
posted by awfurby at 5:52 PM on October 22, 2013
You know, I love a good beanplate, especially about animation*, but all the interesting arguments/thought experiments about Cars have been done (and already linked in this thread's comments) and this is kind of inane, as criticisms of cartoons go. Especially the "ruined it for the next generation" bit...what? Ruined how?
Look, bub, my generation had H.R. PufNStuff and similar eldritch horrors to deal with. A sentient car with eyes in the windshield instead of the headlights is nothing next to that. Your kid will be fine. Jesus.
*I have a whole rant about the problems with pretty much everything in Wall-E outside of the cute robots being cute.
posted by emjaybee at 6:11 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Look, bub, my generation had H.R. PufNStuff and similar eldritch horrors to deal with. A sentient car with eyes in the windshield instead of the headlights is nothing next to that. Your kid will be fine. Jesus.
*I have a whole rant about the problems with pretty much everything in Wall-E outside of the cute robots being cute.
posted by emjaybee at 6:11 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
prize bull octorok: "Certainly you can't show a transparent windshield with seats behind it -- what would they be for?"
THE DOORS IN CARS HAVE HANDLES. WHO IS OPENING THEM? WHAT IS INSIDE?????
Why do the Cars have teeth when they get power by drinking gas through their gas tanks? Why is their exurban infrastructure clearly optimized for humans? Why are they growing crops??? Where do baby cars come from? Why are some of them girls?
And most importantly, Why does Bob Costas not ALREADY KNOW in which small town Lightning McQueen is doing community service and learning life lessons? THAT IS BOB COSTAS'S BREAD AND BUTTER. I cannot adequately suspend disbelief about Bob Costas falling down on the backgrounder.
I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE A LOT OF TIMES.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:18 PM on October 22, 2013 [33 favorites]
THE DOORS IN CARS HAVE HANDLES. WHO IS OPENING THEM? WHAT IS INSIDE?????
Why do the Cars have teeth when they get power by drinking gas through their gas tanks? Why is their exurban infrastructure clearly optimized for humans? Why are they growing crops??? Where do baby cars come from? Why are some of them girls?
And most importantly, Why does Bob Costas not ALREADY KNOW in which small town Lightning McQueen is doing community service and learning life lessons? THAT IS BOB COSTAS'S BREAD AND BUTTER. I cannot adequately suspend disbelief about Bob Costas falling down on the backgrounder.
I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE A LOT OF TIMES.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:18 PM on October 22, 2013 [33 favorites]
I'm watching you emjaybee!
posted by Sid and Marty Krofft's HR Sockpuppet at 6:19 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Sid and Marty Krofft's HR Sockpuppet at 6:19 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
THE DOORS IN CARS HAVE HANDLES. WHO IS OPENING THEM? WHAT IS INSIDE?????
Oh, sure. What could those cars want with those parts without precious, precious humans to use them, eh? The different parts of a car might serve different purposes for humans, while serving completely different purposes for the cars themselves. The seats are lymph nodes, the door handles are ears, the steering wheel is the gall bladder - man, whole lot of speciesism in this thread. For shame, Metafilter.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh, sure. What could those cars want with those parts without precious, precious humans to use them, eh? The different parts of a car might serve different purposes for humans, while serving completely different purposes for the cars themselves. The seats are lymph nodes, the door handles are ears, the steering wheel is the gall bladder - man, whole lot of speciesism in this thread. For shame, Metafilter.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Eyebrows McGee: Why do the Cars have teeth when they get power by drinking gas through their gas tanks?
The gas tank is the stomach, and the teeth are, well, the teeth. I don't know what they might need to chew, but they do drink through their mouths (Unidentified Flying Mater, jump to the 1 minute mark).
CLEARLY YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS. (THOUGH I CAN'T RECALL IF THE PIT STOP GAS-UP GOES IN THE MOUTH OR IN THE SIDE, SO I APPARENTLY NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION, TOO)
posted by filthy light thief at 6:36 PM on October 22, 2013
The gas tank is the stomach, and the teeth are, well, the teeth. I don't know what they might need to chew, but they do drink through their mouths (Unidentified Flying Mater, jump to the 1 minute mark).
CLEARLY YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS. (THOUGH I CAN'T RECALL IF THE PIT STOP GAS-UP GOES IN THE MOUTH OR IN THE SIDE, SO I APPARENTLY NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION, TOO)
posted by filthy light thief at 6:36 PM on October 22, 2013
The teeth are for chewing humans with. Duh.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:38 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:38 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Pit stop gas goes in the side, as does gasoline; oil goes in the mouth but is a recreational beverage. I'VE SEEN IT A LOT OF TIMES.
(I can say all the lines in Italian, even.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:42 PM on October 22, 2013
(I can say all the lines in Italian, even.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:42 PM on October 22, 2013
I don't know, my main thing about the entire notion of this movie/franchise/whatever is that it teaches toddlers to think of cars as people, rather than machines that people operate to get from point A to B.
I'm curious about how this generation of kids will feel about pedestrians', cyclists', and other actual humans' presence in the urban landscape having grown up on a formative series of movies where car = person.
I mean, this is already something that people in car culture have trouble with.
posted by Sara C. at 6:49 PM on October 22, 2013
I'm curious about how this generation of kids will feel about pedestrians', cyclists', and other actual humans' presence in the urban landscape having grown up on a formative series of movies where car = person.
I mean, this is already something that people in car culture have trouble with.
posted by Sara C. at 6:49 PM on October 22, 2013
Sara C.: "I'm curious about how this generation of kids will feel about pedestrians', cyclists', and other actual humans' presence in the urban landscape having grown up on a formative series of movies where car = person."
Probably fine since Oscar the Grouch now teaches composting and they do units on environmentalism in pre-K and Elmo rides his bicycle everywhere.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:55 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Probably fine since Oscar the Grouch now teaches composting and they do units on environmentalism in pre-K and Elmo rides his bicycle everywhere.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:55 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Judging by my observations in traffic, current generations of drivers treat cars as unfeeling machines and completely forget that the people driving them = persons. So if the next generation grows up with a little extra anthropomorphism-fueled empathy for the other cars on the road, I'm okay with that. Should be better for everybody. Wouldn't want to get any of that pedestrian juice on your sweet ride!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:15 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:15 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
The most horrifying thing to realise about Cars is that Mater lives in a junkyard full of car parts.... which basically makes him some sort of psychopath.
posted by littlesq at 7:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [27 favorites]
posted by littlesq at 7:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [27 favorites]
Windshields as eyes is not original to Pixar. The earliest Ive been able to find is Pedro from the Walt Disney movie Saludos Amigos in 1943.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:24 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
Also, I never really imagined seeing faces on the front of cars, but I always see faces in the backlights.
posted by littlesq at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by littlesq at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
You really want little kids getting used to looking cars (well, drivers really) in the eye through the windscreen rather than the headlamps. I think it is a good thing to train kids to know instinctively that if they can't see the windscreen then the "car" can't see them.
posted by AndrewStephens at 8:39 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by AndrewStephens at 8:39 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
I'm just saying, if we give Pixar a pass on this, we give them free reign to reassign features at will, and when they finally do a movie about anthropomorphized people, the NIPPLES will be the eyes. Just you wait.
500 years too late!
posted by chortly at 9:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
500 years too late!
posted by chortly at 9:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
I'd be in his camp if modern cars had perfect faces like the linked Sprite. But they don't, they got stuff like this Tiburon which would be perfect for representing some arachnoid monster.
posted by Mitheral at 9:29 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Mitheral at 9:29 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Windshields as eyes is not original to Pixar. The earliest Ive been able to find is Pedro from the Walt Disney movie Saludos Amigos in 1943.
Yep. Windshield eyes also appeared in the popular 1952 short "Suzie the Little Blue Coupe."
This author should have thought more before he put so much thought into this.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:13 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yep. Windshield eyes also appeared in the popular 1952 short "Suzie the Little Blue Coupe."
This author should have thought more before he put so much thought into this.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:13 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
What I hate the most about Cars is that since there were cars, kids played with toy cars, and it was great. Now what they really want to play with is Cars toys.
So instead of having cool matchbox cars and generic crappy plastic cars (I mean, they still do), we have legions of kids who will accept nothing less than a CarsTM car with those stupid fucking dopey grins that every pixar character seems to have.
Before this movie, playing with cars was one of the only toys that was still relatively generic. Sure, there were different options out there but at the end of the day a car was a car was a car.
Now that's all been co-opted by a marketing department that figured out a way to monetize such a simple, universal thing.
Mark my words, there is somebody out there working on a way to slap eyes and a mouth on a ball so they can make Balls: The Movie (tagline: Are you ready to roll?)
posted by davey_darling at 10:28 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
So instead of having cool matchbox cars and generic crappy plastic cars (I mean, they still do), we have legions of kids who will accept nothing less than a CarsTM car with those stupid fucking dopey grins that every pixar character seems to have.
Before this movie, playing with cars was one of the only toys that was still relatively generic. Sure, there were different options out there but at the end of the day a car was a car was a car.
Now that's all been co-opted by a marketing department that figured out a way to monetize such a simple, universal thing.
Mark my words, there is somebody out there working on a way to slap eyes and a mouth on a ball so they can make Balls: The Movie (tagline: Are you ready to roll?)
posted by davey_darling at 10:28 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]
Cars toy cars aren't even all that great anymore. When the first
movie came out at least the toys, although expensive compared to other toy cars, were well-made with die-cast metal that had a real weight to them. The Cars toy cars that are on the shelf these days are cheap plastic, and feel crappy.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:58 PM on October 22, 2013
movie came out at least the toys, although expensive compared to other toy cars, were well-made with die-cast metal that had a real weight to them. The Cars toy cars that are on the shelf these days are cheap plastic, and feel crappy.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:58 PM on October 22, 2013
ShutterBun: Yep. Windshield eyes also appeared in the popular 1952 short "Suzie the Little Blue Coupe."Good thing TFA addresses this.
This author should have thought more before he put so much thought into this.
posted by brokkr at 1:51 AM on October 23, 2013
You really want little kids getting used to looking cars (well, drivers really) in the eye through the windscreen rather than the headlamps. I think it is a good thing to train kids to know instinctively that if they can't see the windscreen then the "car" can't see them. This is actually brilliant. I was in the "Eyes should be headlights" but now I'm on Team Windshield.
Also, the secret to enjoying Cars is to see Cars 2 first. Then Cars seems much, much better, if only because it is so much less Mater-heavy.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:12 AM on October 23, 2013
Also, the secret to enjoying Cars is to see Cars 2 first. Then Cars seems much, much better, if only because it is so much less Mater-heavy.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 2:12 AM on October 23, 2013
THE DOORS IN CARS HAVE HANDLES. WHO IS OPENING THEM? WHAT IS INSIDE?
I don't understand you people who see the straightforward silly premise, "Our world inhabited by talking cars" and think it would be better and make more sense if it were something like "A world of aliens who for some reason resemble Earth cars, but are different in lots of little ways that make their society and life-cycle a tiny bit more plausible and consistent."
Because the Cars movies would make so much more sense if only the cars didn't have door handles?!?
posted by straight at 2:38 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
I don't understand you people who see the straightforward silly premise, "Our world inhabited by talking cars" and think it would be better and make more sense if it were something like "A world of aliens who for some reason resemble Earth cars, but are different in lots of little ways that make their society and life-cycle a tiny bit more plausible and consistent."
Because the Cars movies would make so much more sense if only the cars didn't have door handles?!?
posted by straight at 2:38 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
When I was l young, our school bus safety mascot (northeast USA, 70s-80s) was Stanley the School Bus. He was in some coloring books and brochure, although Google can't find him. I'm pretty positive his eyes were in the windshield, despite the existence of headlights.
Although eyes in every light a bus has on the exterior would be the scariest thing animated.
I was wondering why this guy is STILL angry, but the article's from December 2011. I hope he's moved past his hurt, and his kid has moved into something else. Then he could complain that games like Minecraft keep his kid from appreciating the fine lines and curves of a sportscar's exterior.
posted by kimberussell at 3:53 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Although eyes in every light a bus has on the exterior would be the scariest thing animated.
I was wondering why this guy is STILL angry, but the article's from December 2011. I hope he's moved past his hurt, and his kid has moved into something else. Then he could complain that games like Minecraft keep his kid from appreciating the fine lines and curves of a sportscar's exterior.
posted by kimberussell at 3:53 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Having never seen Cars, but knowing who's in it, anything that disparages anything with Larry the Cable Guy in it gets my mostly-indifferent approval.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:35 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:35 AM on October 23, 2013
I think we'll all be okay.
posted by Legomancer at 5:42 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by Legomancer at 5:42 AM on October 23, 2013
As a wee lad, I was given my mother's copy of the amazing childrens' book from 1931, The Modern Storybook by Wallace Wadsworth (could there be a more 1930s author name?), which anthropomorphized elevators, steam shovels, cars, big fat men who say "oomp" when hit by elevators randomly roaming the city streets, fire trucks, dirigibles, office equipment, airplanes, tractors, and switch engines, and headlights, if they're there (or even if they don't belong there, like the runaway elevator with headlights), are most likely eyes. In the event an object has no obvious eyes, there are cosmic eyes that appear on the backs of chairs, or in the case of the boastful little office fan, Fanny Blowhard, in the whirling blur of the blades.
Suffice it to say that this book, among others of it's atavistic kind in my youth, guaranteed me an altogether trippier life with a tendency towards hoarding because who can throw away that old broken lamp when it's looking at you with those sad cosmic eyes?
Oomp!
posted by sonascope at 7:15 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Suffice it to say that this book, among others of it's atavistic kind in my youth, guaranteed me an altogether trippier life with a tendency towards hoarding because who can throw away that old broken lamp when it's looking at you with those sad cosmic eyes?
Oomp!
posted by sonascope at 7:15 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, when the first of the new hybrid UPS trucks appeared, I couldn't help but call them "skeptical vans," for obvious reasons, in that they are UPS vans and appear to be skeptical about something.
posted by sonascope at 7:21 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by sonascope at 7:21 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
straight: "I don't understand you people who see the straightforward silly premise, "Our world inhabited by talking cars" and think it would be better and make more sense"
On movie watch #1, I was like, what a cute movie, and my kids really like it!
On movie watch #10, I was like, haha, that's a subtle visual joke that I never noticed before!
On movie watch #100, I was like, WHY DO THE CARS HAVE HANDLES AND TEETH? DID THEY EAT THE HUMANS?
I don't actually think it would IMPROVE the movie at all. I have just seen this movie A LOT OF TIMES and if you watch children's TV or movies enough times, eventually your brain starts to amuse itself. I also have a lot to say about the inefficiencies of Sir Topham Hatt's ridiculously overbuilt railway, the illogic of dinosaurs who built a time-traveling train and its infrastructure but no other technology (also obviously Buddy is going to eat his family eventually and I would like to get to that episode), what kind of inheritance Caillou's parents must have since neither of them have jobs, whether Darling in Lady and the Tramp has a maid (obviously she must but we never see the maid), why 101 Dalmations is actually a really disturbing Holocaust movie, and many other Deep Thoughts On Logical Flaws In Children's Media.
Lots of this stuff is actually really good -- Lady and the Tramp is just about the perfect movie, I have many thoughts on the exquisite animation backgrounds and the charming sound design -- but if you have to watch a movie over and over again on toddler-repeat, you start to notice little things.
I actually think Cars is underappreciated: It's a clever world, a cute plot that by and large makes sense, it's well-paced, the voice acting is spot-on, the major characters have believable motivations for their actions, interesting central moral questions posed at a level children can understand, and there are lots of clever little visual jokes and puns for adults. (Did you ever notice that the bugs in Radiator Springs are tiny little VW bugs with wings?) But man, I wonder about those door handles.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:29 AM on October 23, 2013 [10 favorites]
On movie watch #1, I was like, what a cute movie, and my kids really like it!
On movie watch #10, I was like, haha, that's a subtle visual joke that I never noticed before!
On movie watch #100, I was like, WHY DO THE CARS HAVE HANDLES AND TEETH? DID THEY EAT THE HUMANS?
I don't actually think it would IMPROVE the movie at all. I have just seen this movie A LOT OF TIMES and if you watch children's TV or movies enough times, eventually your brain starts to amuse itself. I also have a lot to say about the inefficiencies of Sir Topham Hatt's ridiculously overbuilt railway, the illogic of dinosaurs who built a time-traveling train and its infrastructure but no other technology (also obviously Buddy is going to eat his family eventually and I would like to get to that episode), what kind of inheritance Caillou's parents must have since neither of them have jobs, whether Darling in Lady and the Tramp has a maid (obviously she must but we never see the maid), why 101 Dalmations is actually a really disturbing Holocaust movie, and many other Deep Thoughts On Logical Flaws In Children's Media.
Lots of this stuff is actually really good -- Lady and the Tramp is just about the perfect movie, I have many thoughts on the exquisite animation backgrounds and the charming sound design -- but if you have to watch a movie over and over again on toddler-repeat, you start to notice little things.
I actually think Cars is underappreciated: It's a clever world, a cute plot that by and large makes sense, it's well-paced, the voice acting is spot-on, the major characters have believable motivations for their actions, interesting central moral questions posed at a level children can understand, and there are lots of clever little visual jokes and puns for adults. (Did you ever notice that the bugs in Radiator Springs are tiny little VW bugs with wings?) But man, I wonder about those door handles.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:29 AM on October 23, 2013 [10 favorites]
I immediately recalled when I read this article (back in 2011 - srsly folks, its two years old!), that there were other and older examples of eyes in the windshields. I also agree that it's not a big deal when you consider all the other problems involving the world of Cars.
I'm kind of surprised there isn't some giant library of fan fiction offering big and windy interpretations of these theories (outside of the Grand Pixar Unification Theory).
posted by Atreides at 7:38 AM on October 23, 2013
I'm kind of surprised there isn't some giant library of fan fiction offering big and windy interpretations of these theories (outside of the Grand Pixar Unification Theory).
posted by Atreides at 7:38 AM on October 23, 2013
also obviously Buddy is going to eat his family eventually and I would like to get to that episode
If Jim Henson was still alive they would have totally done this.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:42 AM on October 23, 2013
If Jim Henson was still alive they would have totally done this.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:42 AM on October 23, 2013
The design of Cars characters makes a lot more sense when you remember that it's for 4 year olds who absolutely do not want it to make sense.
This. This plus a million.
While I guarantee you that I'm going to teach my five year old how to change the oil as a part of the "driver's ed", I have no psychosis that would lead me to believe that cartoons have to make sense.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A CARTOON WHERE CARS TALK AND HAVE LOVE INTERESTS, AND APPARENTLY PARENTS SO PROCREATION IS A THING, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHERE THE EYES BELONG?!?
Metafilter: We don't know where the "off" button is.
posted by Blue_Villain at 7:57 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
This. This plus a million.
While I guarantee you that I'm going to teach my five year old how to change the oil as a part of the "driver's ed", I have no psychosis that would lead me to believe that cartoons have to make sense.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A CARTOON WHERE CARS TALK AND HAVE LOVE INTERESTS, AND APPARENTLY PARENTS SO PROCREATION IS A THING, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT WHERE THE EYES BELONG?!?
Metafilter: We don't know where the "off" button is.
posted by Blue_Villain at 7:57 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I also have a lot to say about the inefficiencies of Sir Topham Hatt's ridiculously overbuilt railway, the illogic of dinosaurs who built a time-traveling train and its infrastructure but no other technology (also obviously Buddy is going to eat his family eventually and I would like to get to that episode), what kind of inheritance Caillou's parents must have since neither of them have jobs, whether Darling in Lady and the Tramp has a maid (obviously she must but we never see the maid), why 101 Dalmations is actually a really disturbing Holocaust movie, and many other Deep Thoughts On Logical Flaws In Children's Media.
Eyebrows, please come to my house and get drunk and discuss all this with me. I have so many theories.
posted by emjaybee at 8:08 AM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]
Eyebrows, please come to my house and get drunk and discuss all this with me. I have so many theories.
posted by emjaybee at 8:08 AM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]
See also, Turn Signals are the Facial Expressions of Automobiles by Don Norman.
posted by yoga at 8:29 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by yoga at 8:29 AM on October 23, 2013
Eyebrows McGee: what kind of inheritance Caillou's parents must have since neither of them have jobs
Theory: Caillou is like Anthony in It's A Good Life and his parents must indulge his every whim or be thought out into the corn field. It's the only explanation for why his whining is so indulged. Though if this were true, Rosie would have been sent to the corn field months ago...
posted by Rock Steady at 8:41 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Theory: Caillou is like Anthony in It's A Good Life and his parents must indulge his every whim or be thought out into the corn field. It's the only explanation for why his whining is so indulged. Though if this were true, Rosie would have been sent to the corn field months ago...
posted by Rock Steady at 8:41 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I posted my own theory about the nature of Cars' world some time back. There are humans in Cars' world, but they're not shown on-screen; effectively, the viewer is an alien who thinks the cars are the dominant lifeform on Earth, and the story is their construction of a narrative that's one remove from the actual (although similar) story played out by the invisible humans. The anthropomorphized aspects of the cars comes from our minds filling in the gaps in their behavior and appearance, perhaps from mixed signals derived from television transmissions.
posted by JHarris at 8:43 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 8:43 AM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Psh, This guy. Apparently he missed the memo that adult internet nerds using snark and hyperbole to pick apart kids cartoons jumped the shark about 13 years ago after "The Emperor's New Groove" came out.
#MostOverItOfAll
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:45 AM on October 23, 2013
#MostOverItOfAll
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:45 AM on October 23, 2013
This is probably as good a place as any to mention my pet theory that Cars is actually a sequel to Maximum Overdrive, set 10000 or so years in the future. The "sentient cars" bit is obvious, but how else do you explain the bits of references to human things that cars would have no use for, like mattresses?
Also, whenever someone says "Piston Cup" in the movie, I like to rhetorically ask my son, "Well, why would anyone want a cup they did that in?" He doesn't get it.
posted by gern at 12:01 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
Also, whenever someone says "Piston Cup" in the movie, I like to rhetorically ask my son, "Well, why would anyone want a cup they did that in?" He doesn't get it.
posted by gern at 12:01 PM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
Eyebrows and Rock: If you're looking for answers about the logic of the Thomas the Train universe, I would like to point you to my previously posted theory regarding Sir Topham and his minions...
posted by gern at 12:04 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by gern at 12:04 PM on October 23, 2013
People are a lot like tiny humans whose pupils get hard when they're cold.
This nipples-as-eyes thing is no laughing matter, people. That shit is creepy.
posted by naoko at 12:17 PM on October 23, 2013
This nipples-as-eyes thing is no laughing matter, people. That shit is creepy.
posted by naoko at 12:17 PM on October 23, 2013
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. In which case, some people, apparently, have soul implants.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:24 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:24 PM on October 23, 2013
I like to rhetorically ask my son, "Well, why would anyone want a cup they did that in?"
There's a great exchange around that in the movie after Lightning figures out who Doc is
Lightning McQueen: I'm serious! He's won three Piston Cups!
Mater: He did WHAT in his cup?
My 5 year old has seen the movie eight million times and has no idea why I chuckle every time.
posted by IanMorr at 1:14 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
There's a great exchange around that in the movie after Lightning figures out who Doc is
Lightning McQueen: I'm serious! He's won three Piston Cups!
Mater: He did WHAT in his cup?
My 5 year old has seen the movie eight million times and has no idea why I chuckle every time.
posted by IanMorr at 1:14 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
1) My car totally looks like my dog and I'm (more than) okay with that. Big bulbous head, little snoutlet.
2) Who wants to start a FUCK YEAH ADORABLE TRAINS tumblr with me
posted by jake at 1:19 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
2) Who wants to start a FUCK YEAH ADORABLE TRAINS tumblr with me
posted by jake at 1:19 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Rhaomi: "(One of the commenter's in the first link points out this mildly creepy "headlight vendor" scene from Cars 2 as an example of why this wouldn't work too well.)"
"Eyes! Eyes! I only do eyes!"
posted by IAmBroom at 3:28 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Eyes! Eyes! I only do eyes!"
posted by IAmBroom at 3:28 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
if the headlights were eyes, then this whole Car Talk guys joke segment wouldn't have worked:
Dusty Rust-eze: Thanks to you, Lightning, we had a banner year!posted by jrishel at 12:53 PM on October 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
Rusty Rust-eze: I mean, we might even clear enough to buy you some headlights!
Dusty Rust-eze: Are you saying he doesn't have headlights?
Rusty Rust-eze: That's what I'm tellin' ya - it's just stickers!
Lightning McQueen: [bored] Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.
Dusty Rust-eze: Well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights!
Wait a second... if Lightning McQueen doesn't have real headlights, what happened to them? Were they the car-world version of surgically removed, or is he a separate subspecies with a major anatomical difference?
posted by JHarris at 4:02 AM on October 25, 2013
posted by JHarris at 4:02 AM on October 25, 2013
Look, JHarris, there's no reason to act so shocked about Lightning having his headlights removed. It's a millennia-old religious tradition, and besides, it helps keep things clean around his grill -- a guy can get lots of bugs and stuff down there if he doesn't have his headlights removed. Besides, a lot of cars just prefer the no-headlight look, OK.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:17 AM on October 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 5:17 AM on October 25, 2013 [4 favorites]
It's a millennia-old religious tradition,
I'm pretty sure the practice of removing headlights from race cars only goes back about 300 - 400 years or so (sometime in the 1650s, probably).
posted by straight at 1:55 PM on October 25, 2013
I'm pretty sure the practice of removing headlights from race cars only goes back about 300 - 400 years or so (sometime in the 1650s, probably).
posted by straight at 1:55 PM on October 25, 2013
Oh man, what was Cars world like two hundred years ago? Was everyone a horse-and-buggy then? How about before that?
posted by JHarris at 2:01 PM on October 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 2:01 PM on October 25, 2013 [2 favorites]
I suspect they just evolved from more primitive cars with more pronounced rooflines and narrower wheelbases. The existence of tailfins in the fossil (fuel) record might suggest that cars may share a common genetic ancestor with planes, both of which may be related to certain keel-bearing boat species. I'd love to see someone do a whole phylogenetic tree for Kingdom Transportalia.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:07 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 4:07 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh no. Don't tell me you're a proponent of the so-called "Intelligent Industrial Design" theory? I thought MeFites were better educated than that.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:30 PM on October 25, 2013
posted by Rock Steady at 4:30 PM on October 25, 2013
Uh, I believe you mean, teach the controversy.
posted by klangklangston at 5:18 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by klangklangston at 5:18 PM on October 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Archie McPhee's is selling Giant Googly Eyes for your IRL use, and they have reported on two people who gave their cars Googly Eye Headlights, the RIGHT way to give faces to cars.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:55 PM on October 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:55 PM on October 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Isn't that the plot of SAW 13: Craft Day? The Jigsaw Killer goes around making people replace their own eyes with Googly Eyes? Spoiler alert: The hero shoots him with a hot glue gun, and says, "Stick 'em up!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:16 PM on October 28, 2013
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:16 PM on October 28, 2013
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posted by Rhaomi at 4:04 PM on October 22, 2013 [6 favorites]