I'd marry him if he were a Hottentot.
'But,' demurs Ben, 'some of us have tried to become Gentiles at various times in history. We have changed our names, even our religion, and we have not been accepted.'
To this I can only answer: 'True, the prejudice of Gentiles against Jews in ages past has been a two-edged sword that has knifed the Jew when he has left his race as well as when he adhered to it. But I also maintain that there have been periods when almost all doors have been opened to Jews—a period in Poland, a period in Austria, and most notably, a liberal period in England which culminated its the rise of the Jew, Disraeli, to the post of Prime Minister.
'Had the Jews seized these opportunities for amalgamation, eventually all the barriers would have been broken down. But the Jews did not seize the opportunity. They chose to retain their identity and remained in intact as before.'
...My parents are both what Mr. Hitler would be pleased to call 'Aryan' Germans. I am an American-born girl, and the first to defend my Americanism in an argument; yet so strong are family ties, and the memory of a happy thirteen-month sojourn in the Vaterland a few years ago, that I frequently find myself trying to see things from the Nazis' point of view and to had excuses for the things they do—to the dismay of our liberal-minded friends and the hurt confusion of my husband.
But it is hard for Ben to take the long view. He looks upon Hitler as something malignantly unique, and it is no use trying to tell him that a hundred years hence the world will no more call Hitler a swine for expelling the Jews than it does Edward I of England, who did the same thing in the thirteenth century—an expulsion that remained in strict effect until the time of Cromwell, because a hundred years hence another country will be having its Jewish problem, unless…
When one of my husband-hunting girl friends asks me, ‘Do the Jews make good husbands?’ I think of Ben, respecter of women, generous to a fault, kind to every creature, open-minded, witty, sober of habit but gay of manner, imaginative and ambitious, and say with all my heart, ‘The best in the world!’
Plan Anti-semitic Internationale
Hakenkreuzlers of Many Lands Studying Anti-Semitic Methods in Austria and Bavaria
VIENNA, May 29. (Jewish Telegraphic Agency) The formation of an international anti-Semitic body which will unite the Hakenkreuzler [i.e., swastika-bearing] and Fascisti societies of many European countries, is contemplated in a resolution adopted at the party council of the Austrian Hakenkreuzler.
Declaring the present anti-Semitic activities as “inadequate”, the Council decided to create a “united anti-Semitic front”, one of whose purposes will be to prevent the election to the parliaments of the various countries of Jewish candidates or such as are known for their friendliness to Jews.
Leaders of the German National Party report that delegations have arrived from all Balkan countries with the object of obtaining information of Hakenkreuzler methods which have proven successful in keeping down the Jews in Austria and Bavaria.
Fascisti organizations are said by the visitors to have been established in their countries, who desire to work together with all Hakenkreuzler bodies abroad. The “National Socialists” announce they are prepared to join the international union of anti-Semites.
"If you ever had a trouble in your life, here it would seem a miracle of joy. These people are so poor not only in money but in health, mental and physical... They are ruled by Jews who tax them to excess."
"The only setbacks are the Jews and their power here. They are in command in all fields and they, of course, as always, are responsible for the bad taste."
After working so hard for so many years, Moskowitz finally decides to take a cruise. But sadly the ship is caught in a storm and sinks. The only survivor is Moksowitz, who manages to to make his way to a deserted island, in the middle of nowhere. Twenty years later a passing fishing boat discovers him, alive, and, considering his experience, in fairly good shape. The cable news channels, amazed at this feat of survival, all rush reporter to the island.
"Mr. Moskowitz, how did you survive? How did you keep sane? After twenty years?" the reporters ask.
His reply: "I had my faith. I had my faith as a Jew to keep me strong. Come, I'll show you".
He leads them to a small glen, where stands a beautiful temple, made entirely from palm fronds, coconut shells and woven grass. The news cameras take pictures of everything — even a torah made from banana leaves and written in octopus ink. "This took me five years to complete."
"Amazing! But what about the next fifteen years?"
"Look!" says Moskowitz, as he points to the other side of the island. There, in a shady grove, is an even more beautiful temple, similar to the first, only decorated with pearls and other beautiful objects he had managed to scavenge. "I spent the next fifteen years completing that!"
"But sir" asks the reporter, "Why did you build two temples?"
"This? This over here is the temple I attend. That place over there? That's the temple I wouldn't set foot in if you paid me!"
« Older You can't outrun a GPS receiver. | It knocks like a swearing finger Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments