Microsoft's New CutIE
November 8, 2013 3:14 AM   Subscribe

Blonde hair, skimpy skirt, big blue eyes. Yup, it's ... INTERNET EXPLORER — Get ready for Inori, the 'personification of IE'. Microsoft launches ad campaign in Singapore featuring a new Internet Explorer 11 mascot (mildly NSFW anime, not hentai).
posted by cenoxo (93 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Welp, anime is officially over.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:18 AM on November 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


mildly NSFW anime, not hentai

Not yet. Give it time.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:20 AM on November 8, 2013 [13 favorites]


Microsoft plans to release a special version of Internet Explorer with a custom Inori skin

Please tell me that this isn't as creepy as The Register wants this to sound.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:21 AM on November 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Her outfit displays the Windows logo on her ass. Dandy.
posted by Gelatin at 3:26 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
posted by mannequito at 3:33 AM on November 8, 2013 [10 favorites]


Is IE any good these days btw? Asking for... a friend.
posted by 0 answers at 3:37 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Aw, isn't that cute? Internet Explorer's caught up to 2005!
posted by Katemonkey at 3:37 AM on November 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Just accept this EULA and become a magical girl"
posted by hellojed at 3:38 AM on November 8, 2013 [40 favorites]


Well, looks like reality broke again. Last time this happened we got Celebrity Apprentice, so I'd better get the crew to work fixing it.
posted by JHarris at 3:39 AM on November 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


"Just accept this EULA and become a magical girl"

Um, is this some sequel to Puella Magi Madoka Magica?
posted by JHarris at 3:40 AM on November 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


I like that her name is Japanese for "prayer," because when your only browser at work is a several-versions-old IE, you're going to spend a lot of time praying.
posted by Jeanne at 3:43 AM on November 8, 2013 [27 favorites]


Favorite food: Ice-cream, especially mint flavor
Dislikes: Bullies


IT'S LIKE WE'RE SOULMATES.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:46 AM on November 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


Wow. Well.

I just switched from Chrome to Iron today, so is this my cutie iron maiden mascot?

I'm okay with that.

(Dear internet people, please don't make a sexy anime girl personification of my new browser, kthx)
posted by taz at 3:50 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think she needs a magical animal companion.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:51 AM on November 8, 2013 [16 favorites]


Remember OS-tan? Microsoft does.

This project seems like the sort of thing that happens after somebody loses a bet.
posted by Sticherbeast at 3:59 AM on November 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Huh, I remember when OS-tans were popular...
This isn't even the first time Microsoft has tried this.
posted by Gordafarin at 4:01 AM on November 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


I conclude from the video that using IE still requires relatively skilled manipulation of the security controls.
posted by jaduncan at 4:16 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Welp, anime Internet Explorer is officially over.

-said 2005.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:22 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


To be fair, she is quite correct that the main purpose of the internet is to look at videos of cute animals, although why she picked a bland koala rather than Maru, I have no idea.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:22 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]




I can't wait to see how they rebrand Nokia.
posted by three blind mice at 4:30 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


"we see Inori at home in her room, surrounded by the ordinary things that girls like. She has her cat, a couple of dolls..."

I don't know what sound I just made but the dog didn't like it.
posted by billiebee at 4:36 AM on November 8, 2013 [14 favorites]


I'm so tired of seeing my gender objectified -.-;;;;
posted by fraula at 4:37 AM on November 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Browsers!
posted by pompomtom at 4:39 AM on November 8, 2013 [26 favorites]


I feel sorry for anyone involved in this or affected by it in any way.
posted by Artw at 4:48 AM on November 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Oh Rule 34 of the Internet, WHAT CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY FIX?
posted by kuanes at 4:52 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Soooo, the tentacle hentai here would be pop-ups?

don't look at me like that we were all thinking it
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:54 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gelatin: "Her outfit displays the Windows logo on her ass. Dandy."

A-and she wears a "quick access belt"
posted by chavenet at 4:54 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't know what sound I just made but the dog didn't like it.

But what did the cat think?
posted by jaduncan at 4:55 AM on November 8, 2013


Browsers!

To be fair, that is what Internet Explorer is for. Downloading other browsers.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:03 AM on November 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


Wolfdog: "I think she needs a magical animal companion."

wow
     very browse
many colors
        so enthused

posted by jquinby at 5:03 AM on November 8, 2013 [20 favorites]


I would watch that anime.
posted by gryftir at 5:08 AM on November 8, 2013


So, you should know that this is a thing.

As Sticherbeast and Gordafarin began to point out, OS-tan have been around since at least 2000. Moe versions of different concepts, things, objects, ideas, etc. in Japan have been popular since the early 1990's.

This may be an example of unnessary, bizarre sexism, but it's also (and I'd argue, primarily) an example of astroturfing: internet people make female "spirit mascots" (and some male) of their favorite things and put them on the internet. Microsoft is trying to do gin up some of that sweet sweet Internet buzz by making an OS-tan before the fans(?) get around to it.

There is male moe, in case you're curious, though it is a much smaller field. I'm at work sadly, so you'll have to Google it up yourself.

Here's the Wikipedia page on Moe anthropomorphism, where you will find that amateur Japanese pop-culture artists have created Moe versions not only of Operating Systems, but also
- aircraft carriers
- trains
- planets
- different kinds of convenience stores
- mail boxes
- foundational governmental principles
- and a racial slur (against the Japanese)

So yeah, it might be awful, but it certainly isn't new. Before you comment, please consider becoming a little more familiar with the culture you are commenting on. Inori wasn't made by Westerners, and she isn't "for" Westerners, and that should count for something as you try and understand what she means to culture at large.
posted by Poppa Bear at 5:08 AM on November 8, 2013 [27 favorites]


Here's the Wikipedia page on OS-tans, which have a long history, for internet-related media/culture. I distinctly remember the iMac OS-tan (mildly NSFW, anime character in skimpy "clothing"), and that linked image is (C) 1998.
posted by filthy light thief at 5:22 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would watch her hanging out with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill.
posted by munchingzombie at 5:27 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please tell me that this isn't as creepy as The Register wants this to sound.

Yeah, as Poppa Bear. I myself didn't really accept this as a thing (not just moe anthropomorphism, but the plastering of moe-anime characters everywhere) until I one day downloaded a hard drive health tool, which just happened to be programmed by some Japanese man, and had it's own "spirit mascot" called Shizuku.

Which is odd, because I probably had enough evidence otherwise before. For instance, there was news a while back that some of Japan's trains were being outfitted with images of an anime character from Ore no Imouto which was going into its final season.

There's a Wikipedia article about "kawaii", which is more or less just the Japanese word for cute, but apparently means a lot in terms of culture.

***SPOILER ABOUT ORE NO IMOUTO***
You know what's funny though? That show had an incest ending between the depicted girl on the trains, and her brother. So a number of Japanese trains were running around depicting a show more or less about incest.
posted by SollosQ at 5:42 AM on November 8, 2013


I think she needs a magical animal companion.

Clippy?
posted by Shepherd at 6:01 AM on November 8, 2013 [26 favorites]


A-and she wears a "quick access belt"

And…never mind.
posted by eriko at 6:06 AM on November 8, 2013


I don't understand why Microsoft would care enough about IE to advertise it. What does it matter to them that you use the preinstalled browser any more than it matters to them that you use, say, Microsoft Paint instead of Paint.NET? Or Free Cell instead of, uh, some third party solitaire program?

It's not like, say, Office, where if you use OpenOffice instead, they've lost a sale. You've already bought IE. And they don't get any extra money from you using it.
posted by Flunkie at 6:09 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Because they want to stick it to Google.
posted by Foosnark at 6:12 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


If Microsoft USA did this, would it be OK to be a little squicked out at Microsoft going the sexy schoolgirl route to promote their products?
posted by pracowity at 6:13 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


is this my iron maiden mascot?

No, obviously not.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 6:17 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


filthy light thief: One of the linked pages on the Wikipedia page for Moe Anthropomorphism is a list of catgirls. Which I find oddly comforting, because of course there is.
posted by Grimgrin at 6:18 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


0 answers: "Is IE any good these days btw? Asking for... a friend."

As a professional interweb angle-bracket-pusher, I always tell people that I don't care what browser they use these days as long as it's up-to-date. You know what? IE11 is fine. There is enough competition these days that Microsoft has had to start giving a crap about making a browser that doesn't suck, and they've done a pretty good job.

The problem is not IE users, it's users who only upgrade their browser when they buy a new PC. I'm talking about the guy who still uses IE8 because that's the last version that runs on Windows XP. Those are the people that cause pie charts like this.
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 6:20 AM on November 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


"Catgirls who are always in possession of cat ears but who are either seldom or never in possession of a cat tail"

All righty then.
posted by jquinby at 6:20 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I don't understand why Microsoft would care enough about IE to advertise it.

For the same reason that Google advertises Chrome: to drive people to their search sites by default and make ad revenue.
posted by Slothrup at 6:25 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's not like, say, Office, where if you use OpenOffice instead, they've lost a sale. You've already bought IE. And they don't get any extra money from you using it.

The reason Microsoft made IE in the first place is because Netscape was turning into an app platform that would compete with Windows. If all you need is a browser to run all your applications, there's no reason to buy Windows when Mac OS or Linux (or any other OS) can run a browser just as well.

Microsoft has a tough balancing act where they have to keep IE just modern enough to prevent driving people to other browsers, but also shitty enough that native Windows applications run better. Google, on the other hand, is aggressively turning Chrome into basically a full operating system.
posted by zixyer at 6:57 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Catgirls who are always in possession of cat ears but who are either seldom or never in possession of a cat tail

Also they are not real cats, so do not be fooled.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:09 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think it's nifty that her boots have a trident logo on the heel. I like attention to detail like that.

I hear IE's not that bad nowadays, but it's hard to shake off this image from my mind.
posted by cyberscythe at 7:15 AM on November 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Her outfit displays the Windows logo on her ass. Dandy.

Audience testing results showed increasingly negative reactions to the tit window, so they moved it to her posterior.
posted by Kabanos at 7:17 AM on November 8, 2013


Also, if the first part of this video is in any way characteristic of your online experience, you may want to reflect upon the sorts of sites you are visiting, and not just your browser choice.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:23 AM on November 8, 2013


Let me know when they decide to use Poochie.
posted by PHINC at 7:27 AM on November 8, 2013


odinsdream: "Google, on the other hand, is aggressively turning Chrome into basically a full operating system.

That's definitely true. There's a ton of under-the-hood stuff in Chrome that's really interesting from this perspective, and I've not yet come across anyone doing a thorough job tracking it. Google has clearly realized that it should take every advantage of the fact that people are willingly installing a program that can often link to tons of built-in system services. Runtimes for applications, Google Cloud Print, desktop sharing, Hangouts (from a technical, not social perspective), are all really interesting forays into blurring the line between desktop application and website.
"

And, in my case, Google Cloud Print has worked really quite well.
posted by Samizdata at 7:37 AM on November 8, 2013


IE11, Chrome, Firefox are all great. Firefox has a free AdBlock, which is good. Chrome and Internet Explorer have problems with add-ins/plug-ins getting installed by other programs, like Java - although IE11 for Windows Store (Metro, Windows 8) doesn't have this problem, of course (and is really nice on a touch screen). You're good any way. Use whichever is easiest. (All Windows Desktop.)
posted by alasdair at 7:58 AM on November 8, 2013


This reminds me of the (live action) personifications of OSes in Every OS sucks.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 8:05 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


So according to her facebook page, her birth date is August 16, 1995, which makes her barely eighteen.

Uh...that just makes it creepier, Microsoft.
posted by malocchio at 8:25 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love Chrome but my husband's real estate stuff can't seem to work on anything but IE.

Which considering that the MLS was still DOS for years while the rest of us had moved on, well, I guess it makes sense.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 8:28 AM on November 8, 2013


Remember OS-tan? Microsoft does.

Maybe Inori will guest-star on a new episode of Trouble Windows.
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:41 AM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


So according to her facebook page, her birth date is August 16, 1995, which makes her barely eighteen.

Uh...that just makes it creepier, Microsoft.


I was wondering about that. Maybe someone at Microsoft had the idea for the mascot around 2005 when OS-tans were really popular, but had to shelve the idea until now because she would have technically been under 18.

It's probably just a coincidence though.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:00 AM on November 8, 2013


Well, looks like reality broke again. Last time this happened we got Celebrity Apprentice, so I'd better get the crew to work fixing it.

Try the flame throwers this time.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:15 AM on November 8, 2013


Microsoft: trying to make "fetch" happen since 1998
posted by flabdablet at 9:19 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Careful! She can give you a nasty virus!
posted by Xoebe at 9:35 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Microsoft has a tough balancing act where they have to keep IE just modern enough to prevent driving people to other browsers, but also shitty enough that native Windows applications run better.

I'm skeptical that anyone at Microsoft really believes this. For a counterexample, just look at mobile: if it were true that a good browser obviated the need for native applications, then why would mobile apps matter?

The truth is more likely to be that
1) The style of development exemplified by Chrome and Netscape's fast cycles and frequent releases is still culturally new at Microsoft.
2) The IE codebase is 20 years old and creaky.
3) IE itself is so interwoven with OS components, that you can't easily make changes without breaking other things.
4) Working on IE is probably not a very desirable job, so it doesn't attract more-skilled people.


Disclaimer: I work at Microsoft but not on IE.
posted by Slothrup at 9:39 AM on November 8, 2013


I'm not going to link directly to it, but she is already listed at Paheal, the Rule 34 depository. Totally NSFW.
posted by Evilspork at 9:43 AM on November 8, 2013


Her outfit displays the Windows logo on her ass. Dandy.

I can't think of a better place for it.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:00 AM on November 8, 2013


That girl is definitely not eighteen years old.
posted by ymgve at 10:49 AM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I don't understand why Microsoft would care enough about IE to advertise it."

If "using the Internet" means "using Internet Explorer" (which was once the case), then you need Windows in order to get full best use the Internet. MS seems to think people will fall for that shit again.

Web devs can be lazy enough in terms of browser support that it might just work, except we now have very good cross platform browsers.
posted by idiopath at 11:26 AM on November 8, 2013


Rule 34 was evoked within minutes of this design release, needless to say. But while any creep with a tablet can draw OS/browser-tan porn, the real test will be to see who's going to draw entire manga of them and a few OCs.

(Two students, a boy and a girl, are sitting next to each other in an empty classroom, after school, their books open in front of them. The boy smiles at the girl, who blushes.)

"Mmm ... Internet Explorer-tan ... you move so ... slowly. It seems to take you forever to complete even the simplest task. ... I like that."

(Large sweatdrop appears behind her head.) "Ehh ... thank you, but, shouldn't we be studying?"

"Come, let me hold you closer ... ah, there. Oh, Internet Explorer-tan, your security holes are so obvious, so ... inviting. Please. Just one kiss."

"Not in school, Spyware-kun! It's embarrassing ..."

(Stands on desk.) "Dammit, I don't care! I don't care who knows about our love! I want to shout it from the rooftops, do you hear me?"

"Sigh .... it can't be helped."

(Door opens) "Hey guys wanna play some shuffleboard? I just-"

"GET OUT, OPERA-KUN!"

(Skulks out) "Sorry ..."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:41 AM on November 8, 2013 [10 favorites]


You know what? IE11 is fine. There is enough competition these days that Microsoft has had to start giving a crap about making a browser that doesn't suck, and they've done a pretty good job.

There are still little things behind which they lag for Corporate Strategy Purposes, like WebGL. Make no mistake, Firefox and Chrome are the only reasons Microsoft updates IE; if IE pulled out ahead and they didn't have to worry about it anymore, they'd go right back to ignoring it. Plus, it's nice to have a browser that isn't so directly tied to the OS for malware protection reasons. So, I am not abandoning Firefox or Chrome, and won't be suggesting anyone else do that for a while.
posted by JHarris at 12:25 PM on November 8, 2013


Wait, there's an IE11? Then why the frak are my work's IT people so excited about rolling out IE9? Ugh. Looks like I'll be checking my Gmail in HTML compatibility mode from here until eternity.
posted by Skwirl at 1:58 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait, there's an IE11? Then why the frak are my work's IT people so excited about rolling out IE9? Ugh. Looks like I'll be checking my Gmail in HTML compatibility mode from here until eternity.

11 came out a few weeks ago. I have no idea what it's like.

My office uses Windows 7, and also IE9. Alongside FF and Chrome, which is what everyone uses. That little blue e just sits in the task bar with a forced grin on its face trying to pretend it doesn't notice.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:22 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's the problem with IE - you can pretty much code to the latest version of other browsers but with IE you've got to make your site work with the last couple of versions because people don't update it.

That said the gap between 8 and 9 is huge - if I'm assuming nobody is using 8 I'm pretty happy, as most of the things I need will be working from that point on. Most.
posted by Artw at 2:41 PM on November 8, 2013


I could go for some inari, actually.
posted by klangklangston at 2:58 PM on November 8, 2013


Having seen this, I think there needs to be a corollary rule of Rule 63 of the Internet. Call it Rule 64: Given sufficient time, every object will receive a Moe anthropmorphization character.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 3:11 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


But this isn't really that moe, is it? I am no expect on such matters, but I thought the term referred to a certain doe-eyed, soft focus kind of hypercute, everything turned up to 11, so that it went beyond cute and went to, in adult Western eyes, kind of creepy. While having an anime personification of anything is at least Level One Weird, she doesn't seem to be a moeblob, just a standard anime girl character.

The rest of Rule 64 however, I agree with, and I propose with that one amendment that this be brought up before the next W3C metting.
posted by JHarris at 4:03 PM on November 8, 2013


so that's what happened to cirno

she upgraded from ⑨ to (11)
posted by pyramid termite at 4:37 PM on November 8, 2013


now you may ask, just how can i claim that cirno and inori are the same person? - it's very simple

they're both slow, they're both bad at math and they like to freeze things
posted by pyramid termite at 4:43 PM on November 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


There are still little things behind which they lag for Corporate Strategy Purposes, like WebGL.

IE11 supports WebGL.
posted by Slothrup at 5:19 PM on November 8, 2013


Ah, really? It's about time. How are they on <canvas>?
posted by JHarris at 5:23 PM on November 8, 2013


See Also: Krieger's Virtual Girlfriend

posted by mikelieman at 5:24 PM on November 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ah, just did some Googling, canvas supported since IE 9. Still, at this point I'm sure there's something else they don't support, out of spite.
posted by JHarris at 5:47 PM on November 8, 2013


Could have been worse.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:56 PM on November 8, 2013


This may be an example of unnessary, bizarre sexism, but it's also (and I'd argue, primarily) an example of astroturfing: internet people make female "spirit mascots" (and some male) of their favorite things and put them on the internet. Microsoft is trying to do gin up some of that sweet sweet Internet buzz by making an OS-tan before the fans(?) get around to it.

Microsoft co-opted the OS-tan thing years ago and there's a whole Madobe clan now. Check out the Cloud Girl website with manga introducing Azure.
posted by 23 at 8:18 PM on November 8, 2013


Before you comment, please consider becoming a little more familiar with the culture you are commenting on.

So, this is a question, not a comment, and will likely display my ignorance/naivete. But the image at the top of the article where it looks like you can see her ass, that's the Register's little joke, right? It's not actually from Microsoft's animation?
posted by torticat at 8:04 AM on November 9, 2013


Sorry to burst your bubble. The world really is a little worse than you thought.
posted by flabdablet at 8:27 AM on November 9, 2013


But this isn't really that moe, is it?

Besides the design there's also a connotation of an innocent character that a viewer will feel a desire to protect or see protected. Not sure that's possible with a personification of IE, but moe fetishists can surprise you...
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 8:47 AM on November 9, 2013


Given that my usual wish on encountering IE is that it would die in a fire, I have no desire at all to see it associated with something that tweaks any of my protective instincts. That way lies only horribly painful cognitive dissonance.
posted by flabdablet at 9:44 AM on November 9, 2013


a little worse than you thought

No, in the uncropped one you can see better that it's supposed to be her legs not her butt. Although still, ugh on skirting the line like that (no pun intended).
posted by torticat at 10:45 AM on November 9, 2013


No, sure, this makes total sense.

It's not like women or gay men use the internet. Only straight dudes use the internet.

Thus, your mascot should obviously be a pretty girl who appeals to straight dudes.

CASE CLOSED.
posted by ErikaB at 11:16 AM on November 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lower down on the page:

Seems like in certain areas, people think it is an official mascot. Good. Just as planned.

So, maybe this isn't Microsoft-sponsored after all?
posted by JHarris at 12:23 PM on November 9, 2013


So according to her facebook page, her birth date is August 16, 1995, which makes her barely eighteen.

That's actually the release date of Internet Explorer 1.0, although the fact that IE is that old is kind of disturbing in its own way.
posted by rboyce at 2:09 PM on November 9, 2013


Then why the frak are my work's IT people so excited about rolling out IE9?

You've got IE9? Luxury.
posted by sneebler at 10:57 PM on November 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


As a professional interweb angle-bracket-pusher, I always tell people that I don't care what browser they use these days as long as it's up-to-date. You know what? IE11 is fine. There is enough competition these days that Microsoft has had to start giving a crap about making a browser that doesn't suck, and they've done a pretty good job.

Yup, IE11 is quite a good browser. Even 10's not all that bad bad, and 9 isn't entirely horrible. Earlier than that, I've just given up trying to design things that work right on them, because: fuck you, Microsoft.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:12 PM on November 10, 2013


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