JPMorgan Chase does not control Twitter
November 13, 2013 2:33 PM   Subscribe

JPMorgan Is Taking Questions From Twitter And Getting Thoroughly Trolled

JP Morgan's Important Notice for Twitter

JP Morgan's other Whale Fail.
posted by chavenet (27 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
This whole recent trend of "we skimmed through a hashtag and picked out some tweets we thought were funny and published them as an 'article' on our 'news' site" cannot possibly die quickly or painfully enough.
posted by ook at 2:41 PM on November 13, 2013 [19 favorites]


Maybe in the general sense, ook, but this is pretty funny in light of only recently admitting financial wrongdoing, and having to pay nearly a billion in the process. Trolling them on Twitter might be a thoroughly harmless jab at JPM, but pretty gratifying to witness.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:47 PM on November 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


Maybe in the general sense, ook, but this is pretty funny in light of only recently admitting financial wrongdoing, and having to pay nearly a billion in the process. Trolling them on Twitter might be a thoroughly harmless jab at JPM, but pretty gratifying to witness.

The problem is that a lot of people think this is how policy gets changed, and that their investment in the process requires only shitty tweet trolling, rather than the full civic engagement that corporations and nut job tea partiers do every day.

That's why the press against Citizens United is so frustrating to me. Should corporations be allowed to engage in free political speech? Why yes. Should money contributions by corporations and individuals be treated as speech? No. And the more we focus on trying to shut them up, the less we do our own talking.

Buckley v. Vallejo is the problem, not Citizens United (at least the overall constitutional holdings of the cases.)
posted by Ironmouth at 3:00 PM on November 13, 2013 [10 favorites]


You're right, sorry to address the form instead of the content right out of the gate. My bad.
posted by ook at 3:06 PM on November 13, 2013


This whole recent trend of "we skimmed through a hashtag and picked out some tweets we thought were funny and published them as an 'article' on our 'news' site" cannot possibly die quickly or painfully enough.

I feel the same way about the pervasiveness of hashtags overlaid upon my media (and everything else). I am not a twitterer but every time I see one I have a wave of sentiment that I should create a vile, vile, vile account for the purposes of "#survivor #blindside #photosofmyanus". Trend on that. If this means I need some clickfarmers to assist me kill the practice, so be it...
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:08 PM on November 13, 2013


Hate to be a party pooper, but the problem I see with this is that it looks like only one tweet points out that JPMorgan does banking for violent drug cartels. To the extent that the rest are mostly broad jokes of little real or specific application to the party being made fun of, we are literally lulzing ourselves to death. But then I'm in the camp that is skeptical that something truly meaningful can fit into 140 characters.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:09 PM on November 13, 2013


Love the title! I am incredulous at the fact JP Morgan Chase actually posted that in their notice, LOL.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:10 PM on November 13, 2013


it isnt even trolling. trolling means you effect someone or elicit some emotional reaction like the GNAA, jpmorgan doesnt give a fuck about the taco time of internet humor in its face and odds are that at least some of the people who work there amuse themselves composing their own "twurts" or whatever
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 3:14 PM on November 13, 2013


I know for a fact that the @dril account has been run this whole time by two JPMorgan financial analysts.
posted by naju at 3:17 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


And Getting Thoroughly Trolled

Ahh, they'll get us back by further manipulating the markets to further expand the yawning global gap in wealth inequality, subverting global institutions of regulation and government and generally destabilizing the global economy in the interest of short-term gains of the ultra-wealthy .003% of the population.

...312 characters. Oh well, nevermind.
posted by nanojath at 3:20 PM on November 13, 2013 [12 favorites]


I'm with nanojath, JPMorgan are still the bigger trolls.
posted by arcticseal at 3:32 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


If they are indeed being epically trolled on Twitter, that Business Insider piece makes a poor case for it. Roughly one interesting tweet in the whole bunch.
posted by univac at 3:49 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ironmouth: "Buckley v. Vallejo is the problem, not Citizens United (at least the overall constitutional holdings of the cases.)"

Pedantry: It's Buckley v. Valeo.
posted by Chrysostom at 4:22 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sorry Chrysistom! Shoulda looked it up!
posted by Ironmouth at 4:45 PM on November 13, 2013


Aaaaand they've slapped the mat.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:56 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I'm imagining a wrestling match between William F. Buckley and a bunch of sword-wielding, nearly-naked barbarian women.

It is an odd image.
posted by JHarris at 5:03 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


What do you think he did on that boat besides smoke marijuana?
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:04 PM on November 13, 2013


trolling means you effect someone or elicit some emotional reaction like the GNAA

TIL that GNAA has a Wikipedia page that hasn't been deleted.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 5:07 PM on November 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


GNAA? What is this GNAA you're all talking about?
posted by indubitable at 5:10 PM on November 13, 2013


GNAA? What is this GNAA you're all talking about?

Wikipedia will tell you all about that apparently encyclopedic topic.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 5:17 PM on November 13, 2013


honestly, whackey shitposting on twitter is probably ideal for JPM in that it has no potential to do anything or effect them in any way but also allows disaffecteds to blow off steam

if anyone did anything that actually hurt them they'd be arrested within seconds and e-crucified in effigy by trend management people
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:11 PM on November 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Weak, way to lose at the internet. I think better responses could have been to play the straight man (Sociopath wants to go into finance: Recommend seeing a mental health professional for sociopathy followed by studying math & economics. Do you use a computer or a dartboard to make foreclosure decisions: Financial records are all computerized now, and no dartboards are involved.) or maybe just go for a full-on Tony Montana style "bad guy" speech.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 8:18 PM on November 13, 2013


Buckley v. Vallejo is the problem, not Citizens United

Citizens United sucks too.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:11 PM on November 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Do you like puppies?
posted by stormpooper at 7:00 AM on November 14, 2013


I actually find this wildly satisfying. I think it's the fact that JPMorgan came up with the idea themselves, somehow unaware of their teeming unpopularity as a top member of the finance industry in the wake of 2008, and thereby invited their own public ridiculing. It doesn't make up for the market crash, sure, but it still forces them to come to face to face (tweet to tweet?) with the legion of very real humans affected by their decisions. It would be easier for them (and everyone else) to ignore these voices, as they usually do, if they hadn't stupidly and voluntarily corralled them all together.

I think that's the joy of the internet: the voices of all the little people, suddenly, merging and becoming louder than a much more powerful corporate voice.

(If only we could make that happen by way of politics.)

Unfortunately, things will probably culminate and fizzle out, as they do, with a Buzzfeed listicle featuring the 23 Funniest JPMorgan PR-Fail Tweets.
posted by aintthattheway at 11:27 AM on November 14, 2013


#AskJPM tweets performed by voice of American Greed & @PuppetsOH
posted by homunculus at 10:13 AM on December 1, 2013


The Winners of the 'Chase Twitter Fail' Haiku Contest
posted by homunculus at 10:15 AM on December 1, 2013


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