You WILL believe a man can split!
November 15, 2013 4:22 AM   Subscribe

The Most Epic of Splits is a Volvo commercial featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme, and contains no computer editing or trickery. Behind the Scenes. The commercial is one of a series of new advertisements for Volvo Trucks.
posted by blue_beetle (60 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Although some safety equipment was digitally removed, no computer trickery was involved on camera and the stunt is genuine, according to Volvo."
posted by kcds at 4:34 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


There are several Van Damme split supercuts, but this one is my favorite because it's so cheesy: J.C.V.D. Split Compilation
posted by nooneyouknow at 5:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, shit. I'm sold...

Heading out right now to get some cargo pants with a gusseted crotch.
posted by ardgedee at 5:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not the only one doubting the verisimilitude of the behind the scenes clip, am I?

The epic split is, however, genuinely epic.
posted by djeo at 5:15 AM on November 15, 2013


As someone with short hamstrings who has never been able to touch his toes regardless of how much I try, Jean-Claude Van Damme makes me unaccountably jealous.
posted by dortmunder at 5:17 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'll take any excuse to post this (advance to 3:58 for additional epic splits).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:18 AM on November 15, 2013 [14 favorites]


Haven't looked at Van Damme yet, that slackline between trucks had me shouting at the screen. Oh my people are just nutso.
posted by sammyo at 5:19 AM on November 15, 2013


Give the hamster the carrot, damn you!
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:22 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


He did a split like he's done about 50,000 times before, and apparently it wasn't dangerous because he had safety equipment to catch him if he failed, so why is this a big deal?
posted by pracowity at 5:22 AM on November 15, 2013


WWJCVDD?
posted by orme at 5:22 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've been training in martial arts for over 10 years and still can't do a full split. That said, what does that have to do with trucks?
posted by tommasz at 5:24 AM on November 15, 2013


JCVD's made some meatball movies but he seems to come across like a decent enough guy.
posted by jquinby at 5:28 AM on November 15, 2013


I like the way the bottom of his shirt flaps just once -- a tiny bit -- a few seconds from the end, and other than that he looks like he's carved from marble.

Jean-Claude Van Damme, single-handedly making up for the damage done to Belgium's reputation by decades of waffle jokes.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:33 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought waffles were making up for Van Damme jokes.

That hamster one was so very silly.
posted by kmz at 5:38 AM on November 15, 2013


The waffles are seriously much more amazing that you could possibly imagine waffles to be, though curiously never eaten for breakfast.
posted by Blasdelb at 5:47 AM on November 15, 2013


He's aged remarkably well, gotta say.
posted by mhoye at 5:51 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


If you want to see a really interesting Van Damme movie, I can't recommend JCVD enough. It is a very thoughtful and rather weird meditation on his career and fame. The closing credits have maybe the best possible cover of Bowie's "Moden Love." I do not believe he does the splits at any point during the movie, but there are a few shots of trucks.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:53 AM on November 15, 2013 [9 favorites]


He did a split like he's done about 50,000 times before, and apparently it wasn't dangerous because he had safety equipment to catch him if he failed, so why is this a big deal?

Yeah, exactly right. This is why trapeze artists don't exist.
posted by distorte at 6:02 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


Volvo makes some pretty neat looking trucks. Apparently the precision steering is a thing too.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:20 AM on November 15, 2013


I love the look of "How much am I getting paid to do this?" when the director explains the concept in the behind the scenes video.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 6:24 AM on November 15, 2013


JCVD is a hoot.

The man himself is also highly quotable.

He's also the only good part in Expendables 2, aside from squinting at the Bulgarian village and saying to yourself, "wait, isn't that where they shot the sequel to '(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (to Party)'"?
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:26 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm impressed by the trailer behind JCVD in the Behind the Scenes link. Anybody know anything more about that?
posted by defcom1 at 6:42 AM on November 15, 2013


I bet that after Enya read the offer letter for copyright permission she laughed for about half an hour.
posted by Pistache at 6:47 AM on November 15, 2013 [15 favorites]


In the right mood, I'd probably sacrifice everyone I hold dear for a proper Liege waffle.
posted by drewbage1847 at 6:53 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


God damn that's one good looking dude
posted by MangyCarface at 7:04 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Get Steven Segal to do this and you've got yourself a viral commercial....
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:13 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


The tension is too much for me -- I can't watch. Does he get the carrot or not?
posted by The Bellman at 7:14 AM on November 15, 2013


I've been standing most of my life, but there's no way I'd stand on the side mirrors of 2 trucks driving backwards even with a rope tied to me.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Once, when he was at the gym in LA, thinking no one was in the room, I was direct witness to him doing something so gross and pig-sexy that I pretty much needed to go lie down with a cold compress and a severe case of the vapors afterward. This reminds me of that rich and heady moment.
posted by sonascope at 7:31 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


He did a split like he's done about 50,000 times before, and apparently it wasn't dangerous because he had safety equipment to catch him if he failed, so why is this a big deal?

Because the point of the video is how precisely the trucks can drive, not whether or not JCVD can do a split?
posted by straight at 7:36 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


(Although, "NEWSFLASH: Computers can control machines precisely" is maybe even less remarkable than JCVD doing a split.)
posted by straight at 7:39 AM on November 15, 2013


So why, exactly, do trucks need to travel long distances backward at high speed with such precision?
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:39 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


So why, exactly, do trucks need to travel long distances backward at high speed with such precision?

I used to drive truck. I've probably got 500,000 miles backing up.

Plus, precision steering makes it easier to crawl back into the sleeper and make yourself a sandwich on those long straight stretches.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:52 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


The tension is too much for me -- I can't watch. Does he get the carrot or not?

NO SPOILERS!!!!1!!
posted by aught at 7:52 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


You people. These trucks can drive backwards at speed so precisely that a man can sit with his arms crossed doing the splits between their side mirrors listening to Enya. And that man is JCVD!

"Man does splits, so what?" <---- NOT AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE
"Computers can drive in a straight line, so what?" <---- NOT AN ACCEPTABLE RESPONSE
posted by 256 at 7:53 AM on November 15, 2013 [10 favorites]


That split compilation posted by nooneyouknow is something else. It's like Gymkata where Kurt Thomas finds himself in fights right next to implausibly-placed gymnastics equipment. Only instead of whirling himself around a pommel horse, the tactical situation calls for JCVD to lower himself to sitting height in a completely awkward and uncomfortable way.
posted by Nelson at 8:05 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would be more impressed if he hit a pothole.
posted by stormpooper at 8:17 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Once, when he was at the gym in LA, thinking no one was in the room, I was direct witness to him doing something so gross and pig-sexy that I pretty much needed to go lie down with a cold compress and a severe case of the vapors afterward. This reminds me of that rich and heady moment.


aaaaaaaand?
posted by stenseng at 8:20 AM on November 15, 2013 [12 favorites]


As an aside: this was directed by madman-genius (previous, previouslier) Andreas Nilsson.
posted by progosk at 8:32 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I used to drive truck. I've probably got 500,000 miles backing up.

50 yards at a time?
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:34 AM on November 15, 2013


There was actually only one truck. The second was added in post.
posted by anazgnos at 9:45 AM on November 15, 2013


The teaser and the commercial are oddly delightful. Thanks for posting.
posted by MonkeyToes at 9:49 AM on November 15, 2013


Volvo has always had a knack for the good joke. Anyone else remember the waterskier alongside the station wagon with the line "this woman is being pulled by her Volvo"? Or this one?
posted by chavenet at 9:54 AM on November 15, 2013


anazgnos: "There was actually only one truck leg . The second was added in post."
posted by chavenet at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2013


the tactical situation calls for JCVD to lower himself to sitting height in a completely awkward and uncomfortable way.

The best is the scene where he drops into a split so he can deliver a dick-punch right under a dude's samurai kilt.
posted by straight at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2013


Yeah, that's pretty great, particularly because given how fast he lowers his crotch to the floor he may have effectively dick-punched himself first. JCVD: no need for a bulletproof vest, full-support underwear is enough.
posted by Nelson at 10:05 AM on November 15, 2013


Pepsi OW!
posted by symbioid at 11:47 AM on November 15, 2013


straight: "He did a split like he's done about 50,000 times before, and apparently it wasn't dangerous because he had safety equipment to catch him if he failed, so why is this a big deal?

Because the point of the video is how precisely the trucks can drive, not whether or not JCVD can do a split?
"

Yeah - hell before I even read the description I'm like - holy crap - how do they get that precise because even just a small variation can FUCK SHIT UP!

So, their point was clearly made :)
posted by symbioid at 11:48 AM on November 15, 2013


My husband played this for me this morning, then we had to put it up on the flat screen and watch it over and over. I love how he opens his eyes. I love how you see the one shoelace flutter. I love how the drivers are so motionless, surely thinking "don'tfuckitupdon'tfuckitup." I love how at some point someone must have said, "Hey, I know! Let's paint the trucks gold!!!"
posted by HotToddy at 12:37 PM on November 15, 2013 [7 favorites]


There are two trucks for twice the Van Dammage.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:46 PM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Someone should use this video as an age verification system.

"Holy fuck! That can't even.. what? SHANNANIGANS!!" - Somewhere under 30.

"Yeah? He did that in Bloodsport, and Timecop. And Kickboxer. Let's see, Double Impact and Double Team which despite the names are not related films. Oh and Black Eagle, that's the earliest I'm aware of. But for my money, his best non-splits related attack maneuver was in Hard Target where he takes out an advancing hooligan by kicking him WITH THE LEG OF A DIFFERENT ADVANCING HOOLIGAN. Plus, the haircut." - At least 32, and probably being said by me specifically.
posted by mediocre at 1:19 PM on November 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


"I love the look of "How much am I getting paid to do this?" when the director explains the concept..."

Gotta pay the property taxes somehow, and the offers for lucrative new films requiring the splits are drying up.

(It was either this, a McDonalds opening, or a gay BDSM flick, and nobody eats at McDonalds anymore.)
posted by markkraft at 2:12 PM on November 15, 2013


I was expecting something more like this.
posted by gottabefunky at 2:25 PM on November 15, 2013


He's also done some zany commercials for GoDaddy recently.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:53 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Happy he wasn't wearing swants.
posted by dhartung at 4:25 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Actually, he pushed the trucks apart solely with the power of his mighty leg thews.
posted by Specklet at 7:28 PM on November 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


"Get Steven Segal to do this and you've got yourself a viral commercial…."

If he dies.
posted by ITravelMontana at 8:35 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Once, when he was at the gym in LA, thinking no one was in the room, I was direct witness to him doing something so gross and pig-sexy that I pretty much needed to go lie down with a cold compress and a severe case of the vapors afterward. This reminds me of that rich and heady moment.

Surely this, of all the times, calls for one of your 6000 word memoirs?
posted by smoke at 6:08 PM on November 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Toronto crackhead mayor Rob Ford does the Volvo epic split.
posted by Nelson at 10:47 AM on November 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


That's not a volvo.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 5:31 PM on November 22, 2013


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