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What Would I Say?
November 15, 2013 5:27 AM   Subscribe

"what would i say?" automatically generates Facebook posts that sound like you! Technically speaking, it trains a Markov Bot based on mixture model of bigram and unigram probabilities derived from your past post history. Don't worry, we don't store any of your personal information anywhere. In fact, we don't even have a database! All computations are done client side, so only your browser ever sees your post history.
The results are often hilarious (and sometimes nonsensical) -- it all depends on what you've written on Facebook.
posted by Blasdelb (252 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite

 
Oh Damn, I just generated what would have made the best title,
The most soluble bacon
-BobBot
posted by Blasdelb at 5:29 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


I had to stop playing with this when it spit back "argh my terrible precarious job." Too terribly accurate for a silly Markov bot.
posted by ActionPopulated at 5:30 AM on November 15, 2013 [7 favorites]


There has got to be a way to do this for us with the infodump.
posted by Blasdelb at 5:32 AM on November 15, 2013 [17 favorites]


Blasdelb, you are the most geniusy of geniuses who ever geniused a genius-thing. Genius!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:34 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


"I'm such a flask. A drunkenly." Sounds about right.
posted by sephira at 5:37 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I miss MarkovFilter.
posted by Johnny Assay at 5:37 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is pretty good too, though. "I lived right hosers, I want all twelve of us fighting for snow!"
posted by Johnny Assay at 5:39 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


GenjiandProust: "Blasdelb, you are the most geniusy of geniuses who ever geniused a genius-thing. Genius!"

Coincidentally,
I think I'm awesome, excellent, very passionate, helpful, very smart and provide your meals.
-BobBot
posted by Blasdelb at 5:39 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Just when I finally stamped out the Bitstrips, these things begin to clutter up my feed.
posted by absalom at 5:40 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


capricorn bot says: "I want to watch football. Or just gay ducks."
posted by capricorn at 5:42 AM on November 15, 2013 [11 favorites]


"Wow, that's particularly new, but it's pretty much to people who complained to continue for the next few months into my way to the instant selfsaucing chocolate pudding."

I would, indeed, say that.
posted by ZsigE at 5:42 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Whenever I wonder who can hear the rhythm of the Unit, which got canceled last year, and fades to commercial.

The Pats game was boring, but this

In theory, I hate commuting.

Anyone remember that were there.

#romneydeathrally is reaching some fine ham acting from the '90s hasn't dated well.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:43 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


I messed with this thing the other day, because I miss Metafilter's Markov chain toy. And these were the winners:
"This weekend, we found out I mostly studied humanities in college, anyway."

"I'm not sure that's a lot of the missing Fayetteville woman."

"Is there a lot. At all."

"They're flowers for Algernon, but still, BETTER."

Pretty accurate stuff.
posted by Coatlicue at 5:44 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm watching students edit my president and woke up with grand lighting of hill Climb Time Trial. Should have taken up fishin'?
-CurtisBot

Yep, could well be me. On a really bad day.
posted by cccorlew at 5:46 AM on November 15, 2013


I would, indeed, say that.
posted by Alexsandra at 5:48 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]




"Nerd heaven. I'm all good, but I refuse to hire a warm, earnest geek cuddle."

"God I shouldn't be freaked out by some appalling overdub work and Cameron Diaz's appalling botox work."

"Haggled in Number 10."

"I love my Kindle, it's a show, don't tell from the living room, and is going to Asia!"

I love my bot!
posted by ukdanae at 5:50 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


it feels so bad, Cookie, it's hard to see what was supposed to write what I would have
posted by dirtdirt at 5:52 AM on November 15, 2013


I know I have just explained exponential functions and reception before the subtleties of human language but however much of a very long time. is this some kind of socks from the fact that the document I'm working on doesn't exist?

No shisha, no work lost. I know I was the worst of cats.
posted by Elizabeth the Thirteenth at 5:52 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


Some of my friends were posting their bot-results in twitter and they were accurate enough that I felt I knew what it would be like if they were social networking and day drunk.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:53 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


The only things that sounded even remotely like me were "powder blue upholstery" and "stunt mustache."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:54 AM on November 15, 2013


“Now, what Yankees call hominy [i.e. grits] is actually spiders.”
posted by Maecenas at 5:55 AM on November 15, 2013 [37 favorites]


"I have just rediscovered how sad lonely and creepy Gilligan's Island"
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:55 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


OK, "Must be the onion rings and brush fires. Christopher Lee had better be taking the spoon out of the last of my booze." kind of sounds like me, too.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:56 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Could not get this to work for me in Chrome at all.
posted by briank at 5:57 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


I know I was the worst of cats.

No, no, no, oos a GOOD kitty, ess oo is! Good kitty! Niiiiiice kitty!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:59 AM on November 15, 2013


"Listening to Lesley Gore all day because happy birthday!"
posted by swift at 6:00 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Ikea catalog says that Santa took the kids yesterday when we will go to Moorhead. That's right, I was waiting to write bigotry into our new flat screen.

- AreaBot
posted by Area Man at 6:01 AM on November 15, 2013


This makes me want to read all your Facebooks, which is something I never thought I'd say to any group anywhere.

signed, [MEbot, not "Me"bot]
posted by taz at 6:02 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


No idea how it sourced this one from my statuses, but: "A diamond in a bar fight."

Indeed.
posted by Ryvar at 6:04 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Mine has a lot of shouty things to say about the cancellation of Bunheads, such as: "FYI, the Kindle I read the face getting them ready to leave the house, it's ways people have A long story about BUNHEADS BEING CANCELLED."
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:05 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Crop duster to settling in my own spicy ketchup. Yum."

"You in New Orleans due to BC bud and health care."

"Great beer on the 730 reverse route sat morning."

"Thank you who voted based on fear instead of my favorite bars in town."

JodyBot talks like me on Tequila.
posted by white_devil at 6:10 AM on November 15, 2013 [7 favorites]


So NoNo folks, lets cram this method of governance back down their throats and elect Franken. Can I just have to ban it was a driveway into the logs when it turns out I was asked Vaclav Havel about even though I like/d Star Lou Reed Music...


Simultaneously eerie and absurd
posted by edgeways at 6:13 AM on November 15, 2013


"Dear Pandora, I understand The Smiths fit the deep understanding of The month the recycling truck knocked over it, right?"
posted by mollweide at 6:13 AM on November 15, 2013


"Twentyeight years ago, on Oct 12, 1980, all boils down to tennis ball size over here."
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [8 favorites]


"I need to start a Kesha cover/tribute band."

"90 minute critique of Tik Tok."


Oh dear..
posted by ianK at 6:15 AM on November 15, 2013 [7 favorites]


"just scheduled an interview with a knife. As near the uppermiddle of his voice."

"I'm a loner, Dottie less jittery!, but once I've already got a few minutes to kill?"

"Dairy products are the first three designer colors."

"I'd like to see this as a regular teabag just like Justin Bieber."

Yeah, that sounds basically like me, I guess.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:16 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Tennant's the cutest."

It speaks truth.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:18 AM on November 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


Is there a way to autoschedule these as status updates? Or I suppose I could just post drunk more often.
posted by mollweide at 6:19 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


This isn't your cookie.

-- SequenceBot
posted by Sequence at 6:20 AM on November 15, 2013


"I managed to ensure that Kanye West's son's eventual autobiography or cologne will be right."
posted by emelenjr at 6:20 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


"I would suggest learning the Red Army is an ice cream"

Anyone have ideas on what would be in a Red Army ice cream?
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:21 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


- Regarding the day

- my alcoholic consumption knows no seasonal nor temporal limitations.

- and the bat

- It is this even legal?

-I have immunity from Sheboygan doesn't crash into your xmas tree.
posted by edgeways at 6:22 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Anyone have ideas on what would be in a Red Army ice cream?

CosmoNUTS?
posted by edgeways at 6:23 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


"I may have just been advised not to answer this very status update."

"But what if you're singing Diamonds Are easier to sell inland, where they're less abundant."

"I'm not really a hitchhiking ghost."

"When does he get away from his dream of being able to line up 99 bottles of beer like Mark Russell, but he can promise much, why don't you marry a cow?"

"I understand the need for spilling Claret on the subject."

"Robot Jones couldn't even if someone managed to passiveaggressively tut that it is waiting for the cause profound indifference in April it was all those loanwords."

"Glasses, unkempt hair, and pathological boredom."
posted by kewb at 6:23 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"My son caught part of small to being unable to give a dirty sweat sock into rancid cream, then she feels better. Then he hates everyone in the garbage."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:24 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"My brain is a picture of the sweetest thing."

Of course I like this one.
posted by idest at 6:25 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Especially Jeff Buckley's version, which Leonard Cohen called, 'Big Pimpin' actually."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:29 AM on November 15, 2013 [18 favorites]


"My brain is a picture of the sweetest thing."

Sounds like something from a Lerner and Loewe musical.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:29 AM on November 15, 2013


So.. for me it is politics, music, Logan's Run, and talking about land clearing.. oh also swearing

Which seems about right.
posted by edgeways at 6:30 AM on November 15, 2013


"Yay for 5 minutes of you."
posted by JDHarper at 6:33 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


At first I was confused because some of the results didn't match my usual posting style and choice of subject matter. Then I remembered that a while ago I went through a phase where I only updated my status with text from a random text generator. It's machine generated text all the way down.
posted by metaphorever at 6:43 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


Best one so far:

'in a cat' sounds an awful lot like 'buried at sea'.
-PeterBot


I barely use facebook for status-posting but this somehow managed to really ferret out my greatest work.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:48 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ahahaha I'm clapping like an indie rock grandpa.
-PeterBot


Spoiler alert I am terrible.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:49 AM on November 15, 2013 [8 favorites]


"I hate how many teens can fit in the youngest librarians I know!"
Yes, yes I do do hate that.
posted by Biblio at 6:50 AM on November 15, 2013 [8 favorites]


Hopefully this will be my last 0600 flight out of the way to start the mountain bears? it's like having a bucket of Vindaloo!
posted by xorry at 6:52 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please feel free to buy me lots of kung Fu...
-PeterBot

posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:53 AM on November 15, 2013


Am I the only one who really think that this is a simple data mining app?
posted by bdz at 6:55 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Baby Gate Z 1 I've had a Cyberman episode of the Doctor aging over time, he is. Maybe something happens with the keyboard and mouse. Should have just thrown my keys down the elevator shaft"

"American Customer Satisfaction Index recently conducted a survey in which they knocked on my toes, I think."

"It looks horrible but YOU CAN CAPS LOCK"

Indistinguishable from the real thing.
posted by davros42 at 6:56 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


The entire Internet is pretty much a data mining app at this point...
posted by davros42 at 6:58 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]



I agree with you bdz but I also know "they" already have all my info. I give up at this point pretending my online info, emails, and search history isn't basic public information at this point.
posted by xarnop at 6:59 AM on November 15, 2013


My best one yet: "I didn't want to see. I'll just end with Jack dying alone before we called it."

Nailed it.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:59 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Apparently I had really scary hair in October."

Now I'm forced to wonder if that was true.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:59 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Last night, honest truth, I feel old."

"Happy Election Day, miss your workout, scarf burritos, go together, and we can still work today."

"I've been told I want to take this"

"Are you not impressed with my fault?"

"Hey guys, I'm bored I go on Facebook status."

"Put Bonus in my money. Fortune with my first name, and seeing the sentence [Metroid Baby] with Lemon."

"It's so much, but I am apparently dumb."
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:06 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I spent way too much time playing with this a couple of days ago. What's amazing is how much these statuses feel like me, but in a weird, familiar-unfamiliar dreamlike way.

""I'll tell me that voter fraud threatens the integrity of the O2 Academy Brixton back in a wholly unproblematic question.""

"Apparently like fifteen minutes in and he's bragging about how attenuated our political discourse is not"

"I was about to indulge in a democracy in terms of its operation in the text in the readings for the that imposes historic financial uncertainty upon the 1980s, and moral position, Mike, to think it into the heads of nepotism, so to make an argument is long vowel sounds, and no reason to it."

And my favorite: "I was thinking that if gas prices are going to update my aunt my cousin's mom is a mustardbased giardiniera, which sounds like our precious JudeoChristian, GrecoRoman heritage. I know this"

(On Facebook I mostly get into political arguments with my Republican friends, and talk about food with my family, why do you ask?)
posted by gauche at 7:06 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Their older stuff was an inside job."

hehehehe!
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:08 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


No really, the scariest video I've been thinking, I'd have a life I suspect.
posted by wotsac at 7:10 AM on November 15, 2013


also.

"Where's big bird gonna buy gold?"

"Gonna challenge John Lewis Gaddis to a bunch of naming a commodified, stratified, postindustrial society"

"Rick Santorum is getting our couch on Tuesday."

"Fun fact one quarter of inmates on Kentucky's death row had been watching election returns."
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:10 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Thanks, self for being such a PACK OF LIES."
posted by sonika at 7:11 AM on November 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


last one:

"Open up that Warren report!"
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:12 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"what would i say?" automatically generates Facebook posts that sound like you!

Of course it does, since as far as I can tell all this does is take bits and pieces of things I've already written before on Facebook posts and photo descriptions and regurgitates them back to me in random order.
posted by The Gooch at 7:17 AM on November 15, 2013


Runners-up.

"One steals nutrients from my precious babby doesn't respond to cooing. I seriously married him."

"I got zero photos on Flickr and I am now those people."

"Looking into my child with the trickier things THE prickly feeling in pain in solitary for my Hamlet! #nerdparenting"

"[My 2yr old son] and my coping skills are inversely related."

"Next challenge to eat at least six ways in which is gravy."

"This is quite literally Bad Day."
posted by sonika at 7:17 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, yes, that's what a Markov generator does.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:18 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sorry, that was in response to The Gooch.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:20 AM on November 15, 2013


"Like Tinkerbelle, only 3% of scary, she was a few other things."
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:21 AM on November 15, 2013


Whoa, EyebrowsBot is getting deep: "Sometimes the most zebras ARE"

"Just watched Star Trek Into the ground."

"Yes, there were a bunch of cowards in Toronto, the tow trucks ANIMATED BY THE SPIRITS OF getting fired."

"Also, space sucks and I want you"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:23 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I haven't left the 90s"

This must be about my Matthew Sweet/Freedy Johnston obsession
posted by sweetkid at 7:25 AM on November 15, 2013


"No Facebook, I do not want to mention the alligator wrestling."
posted by brain_drain at 7:28 AM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


"Who has Pretzel M&Ms!" demanded SkyblyBot, twitching with unsatiated hunger.

we don't get them here in Germany and they're delicious
posted by Skybly at 7:32 AM on November 15, 2013


Cannot. Stop. Refreshing.
posted by theora55 at 7:36 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Couldn't be worse than Sylvester McCoy in a Listerene bottle apparently."
posted by davros42 at 7:37 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was about to call baloney, but on the eighth "generate" I got:

"If it weren't for tomorrow, I'd have wiped out where you live, I suggest you have a continued positive outlook, and I'm givin them all of these critters"

So yeah, this is real.
posted by Debaser626 at 7:38 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


"I'm against cake. I've never been a terrible headache and astonishing hair."

"the cat IS ROY BATTY"

"Between you and me I'm already filling another virtual shopping CAT ANUS!!!"

"knows Anne Hathaway is the glass of human manipulation, or..."

"i look like the laminated ones where the cops will threaten to yesterday and pork to meet streaming demand, et tu, salad?"

"I'm against the best thing. I will absolutely threaten someone in sixth grade, for pete's sake."

"It's true, golden beets really bring out the pulsating tentacle beast within, because of your parents."


...yeah, that all sounds like stuff I would say. Which I guess means I am a crazy person?
posted by palomar at 7:41 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"I do have alcohol on election days.".
"This *might* be smart, right?"
"Philadelphians be glad you're asleep and electronics don't think it's a probability exam."
posted by madcaptenor at 7:47 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I would love for you"

-- Apparently I am a closet romantic.
posted by dhens at 7:54 AM on November 15, 2013


Oh dear god, this is not what I needed on a Friday when I actually have to get work done.

"6 years ago today I need to quit you" - A Back to the Future remake with a Brokeback Mountain twist? Someone get Figbot an agent!

"I have 'Blasphemous Rumors' stuck in bed, long, drawnout sigh as night, but no blood, thank you"

"I'm too many numbers and killed my desk"

"Too close to that last night would end my work"
posted by Fig at 7:54 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Petabytes!! Exobytes!!! And well, Dag met his end when his DC 6B crashed in Rhodesia."

Um...wow....
posted by medeine at 7:54 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


They're Metallica. To, you know, a heapin' helpin' of you each get lazy, as if the flung spray and the Veruca Salt in New elections laws that is badass!

My God. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:55 AM on November 15, 2013


This one pretty much sums up my entire life:

"For some reason, Nuuk, Greenland keeps coming up in the rest of week apparently he's going to microchip babies. wish I can't locate any heavy metal pilates instructors? We joked about BIG data is a good camera repair. Followed by a convent."
posted by medeine at 7:55 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Kanye, I have downgraded into bed, pooping on the way home"

"You are in Baltimore Go H.A.M."


(ok im done.)
posted by Fig at 7:59 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"For all of the road, To hinder thy gaze on Nature's Farthestforth. Thus things we will say that."
"How's that working on is neither correct grammatically or true in the US government is paying you!"
"If they mention Rome, I went to be RuPaul."
"Yes, I am in your saucepans and have gone by delightful conjugations."
And the funniest to me: "Gallery show, Fall, when racist jerks think inside Hypatia!"
posted by Tchad at 8:01 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"my vagina has CONNECTIONS."
posted by emperor.seamus at 8:06 AM on November 15, 2013 [7 favorites]


"I'm not ready to jump out at us."

"When you render pommes de terre from the shadows, applauding, to get thee behind me, muchacho?"

"The books were hastily translated into a better person."

"I am so many."
posted by Iridic at 8:07 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"KNEW YOU QUIT BECAUSE I will be forced to drown you."

Okay this knows me uncannily well.
posted by emperor.seamus at 8:15 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Matzoh lasagna was a man who sews things?" -Free baby name up for grabs?

"We will see all phone numbers and thus prevent abuse if they are no joke." -prescient NSA warning?

"are you sleeping at the communist grocery store. You" - Fascist questionnaire?

"I see cabins in my recycling bin." -Slogan for re-use campaign?
posted by rmless at 8:25 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"So much CAFFEINE AND NOW"
posted by rmless at 8:28 AM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


There is pretty much nothing I like more than a good Markov generator. I have been squealing with delight at this for days.

Greatest hits so far:
"I am struggling with a tin of mackerel tonight"
"making random noises. want to raise awareness of little christmas elves."
"I am terrible as I have your face"
"Boromir is obsessed with headbutting legs and then you"
"where is my general coherence"
"divorce, good idea"
posted by corvine at 8:31 AM on November 15, 2013


"Somerset Maugham is basically a total eclipse of the power tool outlet mall."
"The great philosopher Johnny Cash, and getting off for a preHellenic pagan god."

and, at risk of recursion,

"Metafilter thread about focus domain."
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 8:36 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Distasteful habits in the Rekjavik sunset at 1629.
-JamesBot"
posted by jaduncan at 8:40 AM on November 15, 2013


"will be lower, but roasted sheep given while passing through the last Georgian military checkpoint before Russia."

Boom. I'll take that. ;)
posted by jaduncan at 8:44 AM on November 15, 2013


"incidentally, my arse and back."
posted by corvine at 8:45 AM on November 15, 2013


Jewels and binoculars hang from Steven Colbert, it's mildly troubling to hear so gradually I didn't question its removal.
posted by Lorin at 8:50 AM on November 15, 2013


She misses her garden.

Yes I do.
posted by caryatid at 8:56 AM on November 15, 2013


"Where is a bottle of the grossness."
posted by sweetkid at 8:59 AM on November 15, 2013


I'm quite pleased with this one:

"You guys, let's kill its ass and sell the meat!"
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:00 AM on November 15, 2013 [8 favorites]


I got "I'm sciencing as fast as I can make pie!" which is a 100% accurate assessment of my life in graduate school to date.
posted by pemberkins at 9:02 AM on November 15, 2013 [9 favorites]


"How Holden looked at this, the damage from kangaroos." Deep.
posted by sweetkid at 9:05 AM on November 15, 2013


Ah hahaha, I just came here to post, and I thought - I bet someone's already posted so I'm scrolling down to check. Indeed...

Here's a selection of awesome ones I posted to my LJ.
--------------------


"Man They speak another similar name for him, and that indicate various sensory input devices. I walked longer, but didn't wanna know what's that, let's just gonna upload the current build for saying no to be"

"Though actually really like my work computer that I could be so much Flickr to bring ill wishes and curses ever known, since the subway thingy is nice, it's the future continues to be kippered, mashed, smashed, destroyed COMPLETELY GESCHTONKENFLAPPED Feel so that guy in Minn."

"From a shockwave of innovation brings, and how things with them, eating, drinking, speaking, praying, lying, going, standing, or in front of the ease of these days as it's annoying."

"Woops! Never initialize any values in the generated number."

"I think of an ass who wouldn't do"

"tonight's sleepytime random name is difficult to decrease entropy, on the new wave occurs, or zoology or something. ;"

"You die from the foodstamps under protest at your conditions, and you're always been weird, but who knows, and who cares. Perhaps I think"

"1 Depression, 2 I'm becoming British!"

"I think my own personal Letters to Mahatma Gandhi, Vol X likes iTunes or x likes iTunes or x 19401960, p. 1 it's a little extra manual labor or did, not sure to feel"

"that bitch being Mitt Romney..."

"You're telling me"

"Homeboys, make some noise, modern classical music, even more"

"Beep beep. Once a happy camper."

"Owl totem showing up two words Nostril Insurance"

"Oh, and Death they are inferior, because fuck with your mind."

"Only an antivax hippies or anticlimate change it"

"O_o But seriously, WTF? Am I don't. Also CONSTITUSHUN"

AND FINALLY!

"Today I learned this I love"


-------------------------
Yes, I did, at one time, post the idea of "nostril insurance" on my facebook page.
posted by symbioid at 9:05 AM on November 15, 2013


Also in Los Angeles. I DON'T know, John of gauze isn't quite right, votive candle is too harrowing, but one trafficcontrol girl in fairy wings did give up.

First off, I officially declare the hobbies I already have!

This pleases me sweating with his eyes.

Smoking. 6 driving in my hand but Poe's wikipedia suggests she's home.

I think I'd thought that

Dear friends, According to our email I'm about to do to feed your purse.

Eh, they have no idea. The ground is really wet and the future until I get a limb bitten off is just a Warm up.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:10 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Sirloins blackened on the little stage while the organ player snuffs his amyl nitrate. Rene does a soda bottle."

waaaay more interesting than my real life.
posted by Crappo the Clown at 9:12 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"TJ Hooker with Jerry Lee Lewis gueststarring."

Yes, this did happen. I'm glad Katebot noted it.
posted by Katemonkey at 9:12 AM on November 15, 2013


Poignant.

'Fathers day came inside, then go okay I had to post two times"

"Potty training uhmn, thanks?"

"Old Florida is learning from THE ground I know, right?"

No editing, that's literally the last three clicks.
posted by cavalier at 9:13 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Should've bet more on forced preganancy"

...I have no idea.
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


This is less exciting if you only have 3 status updates.
posted by ian1977 at 9:14 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Think I have a mess, but I'm havin' a full moon, shooting stars, and lavender chocolate cake ice cream.
posted by caryatid at 9:15 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


bdz: "Am I the only one who really think that this is a simple data mining app?"

Nope - I am definitely a little creeped out by this possibility.
One other thing - notice that there is a "log out of facebook" button in the upper right hand corner?

LOG OUT BEFORE YOU LEAVE THIS PAGE PEOPLE! (I really don't know what FB does in terms of security with apps - but it certainly wouldn't hurt to make sure to log out just in case some sort of cookie keeps that connection open after closing your own window?)
posted by symbioid at 9:16 AM on November 15, 2013


"I think about the fitness center of the office cuz Greg and I dub thee Spaghetti Oriented Code."
posted by symbioid at 9:16 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"All contemporary churchs play Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" - T.D.bot
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:17 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


emperor.seamus: ""my vagina has CONNECTIONS.""

James Burke - is that you?
posted by symbioid at 9:18 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"what a form of melancholia under which a person is incapable of mango"

Sounds like it's from Dr. Johnson's Facebook instead of mine.
posted by sweetkid at 9:20 AM on November 15, 2013


"At some point, if a volcano, might be intoxicated with beauty, and two waiters just so all night."
posted by empath at 9:21 AM on November 15, 2013


"i dont trust this"

-ElizabethBot
posted by KogeLiz at 9:21 AM on November 15, 2013


symbioid:
LOG OUT BEFORE YOU LEAVE THIS PAGE PEOPLE! (I really don't know what FB does in terms of security with apps - but it certainly wouldn't hurt to make sure to log out just in case some sort of cookie keeps that connection open after closing your own window?)
"

The log out button is deauthorizing you from being logged in to Facebook on that browser. I.e., you click that, go back to Facebook, Facebook will ask you to log in again.

It does not have an effect on this application as you have already granted it access.

To remove the application's access to your profile (As of Nov 2013):
  1. Navigate to Facebook's upper right, finding the Padlock/Bars icon. (Security)
  2. Click Padlock, a short drop down appears
  3. Click "See More Settings", a page (Privacy Settings and Tools) appears
  4. On the list of menu items on the left hand, look down to the bottom and click "Apps", a new page (App Settings) appears
  5. Find "what would I say" amongst the list of apps, you can choose to either click 'x' and delete it outright, or edit it to then be prompted to delete it.
  6. A caution pops up, asking are you sure you want to remove this; and would you like to remove the posts you've made with it? Confirm with either choice.
Please note that technically you've already provided access to the application to look at your profile, so if you are concerned about mining, they've already mined. But this is how you would remove access for it to continue to do so..
posted by cavalier at 9:32 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


The short ones work much better than the long ones.

"is enjoying watching a Boy Named Charlie Brown with a runny nose and fever."
"I think I'm Mama Fett and I'm not doing great."
"could not figure out some coping techniques. The plastic surgeon said Chugachugachoo and threats of death."
"Yes, I NEED a pirate today."
and
"We've eaten several radishes and a third grade!"

all sound like something I might say in some context if I were in the right mood. But my friends and family would be pretty concerned about my mental health if I posted

"is enjoying watching A redtailed hawk eat a squirrel in the government limiting rights based on the axe murderer is using the memory of yesterday's overwhelmingly positive parentteacher conferences to be a better place."

Okay . . . . I'll just hit Generate Status one more time and then I can go back to what I need to do. Okay, maybe two more times.
posted by Dojie at 9:38 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Fried pie. Could life be any better?"
"Does that I'll be a Manger has made me feel like I don't know English anymore."
posted by knuckle tattoos at 9:41 AM on November 15, 2013


It was apparently made as part of "HackPrinceton 2013", so it may not be a complete data mining grab, although they certainly have access to all your facebook stuff as soon as you authorize it.

If you're still under any illusion that anything you put on facebook isn't being sold to hundreds of companies as well as whatever component of the government asks nicely already...you really should stop being so naive at this point. And cancel your internet service.

Privacy is dead.
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:45 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Okay, I clicked through about 20 okay ones and was about to dismiss this until I got this one, which totally makes the potential data mine all worth while:

"I can transmute muffins to cupcakes with just shortening and I am"
posted by bookwo3107 at 9:49 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


"It is growing at an interesting time for now, bringing the engine and pathologically destructive at worst."

I feel very time cube
posted by MysticMCJ at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Google Glasses that make my dreams. And that morning, but don't know about the raft."
"You were too much spray on hair up close."
"No, but we also see our first windowbased air hockey."

Dreams, hairspray and air hockey - this thing knows me.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Anyone else ever have a ruler and flourless chocolate ratio holding at a fortunes package?"
"Sex is outside with workers everywhere"
posted by shothotbot at 9:56 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


NASA, you magnificent bastards.
Apparently it was supposed to go faster.
watching the rain, which is pretty much blood.
Urine odor low spot didn't help.
Oh, that's what Facebook was invented for.

-TensorBot
posted by The Tensor at 9:57 AM on November 15, 2013


oh good god i could do this all day (and probably will)

"You know what I mean coffee for worse. In retrospect, I found myself stuck in my default bourbon."
posted by MysticMCJ at 10:00 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Check it out I get Baphomet, the demon to bind to Obama"

""I've decided to stop thinking about Enbridge"

"Anybody want to doubletape the wheel to a crossgenre lesson in honor of National Talk Like a Soviet cafeteria scene as written by Google's Eric Schmidt?"
posted by metaman livingblog at 10:00 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


i'm a weird guy

"He's the Joseph Smith of the $20 EZcap TV dongles."
-MichaelBot
posted by MysticMCJ at 10:07 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I haven't had this much fun on Facebook since the lj automaticwriter days.
posted by pernoctalian at 10:13 AM on November 15, 2013


It's only slightly more incoherent than I usually am, and it's a lot less work.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:21 AM on November 15, 2013


I ws SNOW fed up with shovelling.

1 meal, 3 burns, one small nick, and the future walked into a bar.

Life Is Worth Losing if you drove vewy vewy vewy fast.

Sadly, crushing *ssholes will not wait until later, when I have to resort to the Battle of a UofT blackboard
posted by GhostRider at 10:21 AM on November 15, 2013


...it's also kind of depressing when it's more interesting than I am.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:24 AM on November 15, 2013


"Me in a small Chinese boy outside Jamie's Kitchen in town, earlier."

Oh dear.
posted by cromagnon at 10:35 AM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Fantastic braised lamb shank, authentic carbonara, creamy panna cotta."
"Soju in coffee cups, prawn pasta, lamb chops."
"First set to eat and burn breakfast."
"Goat cheese & ale fondue, octopus bolognese, razor clams, buratta and prosciutto, jalapeno cornbread."
"'07 Montepulciano d'Abruzzo, Spelt La Valentina."

So I apparently write a lot about what I eat and drink, which makes sense as that's usually all I ever post on FB.

And then I get this:
"Others have Ramadan. I have to wait for homicide and rape investigations, paid over 6,000 LA County Measure J 2/3 Approval Required Accelerate light rail/subway/airport connection development to watch the XB1, I put in state your preference on whether or if DNA using knowledge of the Lakers win."

I don't even know.
posted by linux at 10:46 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Compare "Life is irritated with us, and it was 95 degrees out yesterday."

to "Cooler weather has merit..."

and I think I must post a lot in the summer.
posted by Liesl at 10:47 AM on November 15, 2013


Wow, mine is almost a line from Pretty in Pink.

"I hope they shrivel up and figured you did too" - missmerrymackbot
posted by missmerrymack at 10:58 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I got a West Coast phenomenon."

"Ahh, Paris under control."

"is anyone been keeping a real job, tiny hamster."

"Nobody tried to get to drag my nauseous, hurting ass down to do you"

And my personal favorite:

"Minigolf in a car"
posted by Mooseli at 11:03 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


It was apparently made as part of "HackPrinceton 2013", so it may not be a complete data mining grab, although they certainly have access to all your facebook stuff as soon as you authorize it.

If you're still under any illusion that anything you put on facebook isn't being sold to hundreds of companies as well as whatever component of the government asks nicely already...you really should stop being so naive at this point. And cancel your internet service.

Privacy is dead.


I completely concur that privacy is dead (in many ways). We spend so much time being outraged at Big Brother we hardly blink at Little Brother, which is not just random people on the internet but every one of us with a phone and video recorder at our fingertips wherever we go, ready to record and distribute virtually everything everywhere.
posted by edgeways at 11:18 AM on November 15, 2013


OK, this is actually the weird apocalyptic vision version of me from the future

"Spontaneous combustion is half the final countdown"

"Today marks the very last song to ever be"
posted by MysticMCJ at 11:22 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Sarcasm is inherited."
posted by raysmj at 11:36 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"For straight disaster movies, Deep Impact and had to wait for, it has been replaced by a red-mulleted, full-bearded lumberjack."

I cannot argue with this.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:42 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Awesome afternoon of ashes and then"
posted by Lucinda at 11:44 AM on November 15, 2013


actually, this one's better:

"There is no NO NO NO NO problem DAMMIT"
posted by Lucinda at 11:44 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Bizzaro me needs help - From several chains.

Today marks the very last song to ever be
I love that I will never be
The manic organ music has no soul
Spontaneous combustion is delicious. There were many compromises made
While laughing. And staring at me.
There's not any really interesting time to be
Of course, my life.
Trepanation is the light
Matt I should probably not go into the light.
Fucking amazing and potentially very dangerous
I love that I was lost after a couple of years.
I love that I look incredible on railroad crossings.
I love that I create an emergency
Yes, I go into these protocols, not like I'm suffering…
They are the innovations in this picture
Admittedly, the hell do I lose?
Careful a train.
More insight into the final countdown
it's just unlocked a great option.
A wrong move still resulted in death
posted by MysticMCJ at 11:46 AM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Some of you will be squeezed out and vote, Bloc enthusiasts are hoping for birthday cake instead of the page of the very next day."

This is eerie.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:47 AM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Oh come on."
posted by OverlappingElvis at 11:53 AM on November 15, 2013


"This is what happens when thoughtful speakers can't really could have been accused of leveraging the plutocracy, a phonograph designed and some new food in the hummingbird lure."
posted by OverlappingElvis at 11:54 AM on November 15, 2013


"Minecraft It's whats for dinner."
posted by jeribus at 12:15 PM on November 15, 2013 [4 favorites]


"i'm assuming I can but why?"

"I DO look like zombies, i tend to revert to room temperature."

"takin' classics classes that aren't empirically valid!"

"running a research project on the goddamn phone, freaked out"

"let's just assume that i need to make a nice hat."

the accuracy is bizarre and existential?
posted by clavier at 12:17 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Although I had a wedding dress made out of her skin."

(No, I did not.)
posted by jeudi at 12:17 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


And I do wish I could draw just so I could illustrate:
"pickles have been laughing out loud in public for a Sufjan Stevens ticket!"
posted by jeudi at 12:22 PM on November 15, 2013



I live in the Veronica Mars movie kickstarter campaign is yes, I incorrectly shortened Alien Resurrection by blowing a small part because

Introducing Season of the Time Lords cross Your Own Timestream to dinner or a Yahoo profile of Benson was going to point

that's a quote from the opening act and the Green Acres theme at the fireworks back and whatever happened in this century...

Though I watched from start wearing black nail polish this time even if I shared is pretty much

I live before he was just realized I would, but I'm not watch 'The Carrie Diaries', I had already got our headquarters are totally not watch at 630 every morning type' so if you can't walk in case anybody is curious, the first streaming series we watched them in the USA, I got around filling in for the win.

I live in its entirety. because




Mike-bot is basically writing the pop culture equiviliant of Finnegan's Wake so you're welcome.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:27 PM on November 15, 2013


"Upgrading to Mountain Lion killed my inner feminist."

hmmm.
posted by ambrosia at 12:28 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"The more sharply towards our distant rest began to lose those cookies."

Works for me.
posted by JeffK at 12:32 PM on November 15, 2013


"Coffee is important and of great consequence"

YES
posted by sweetkid at 1:41 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Haha one more:

"I'm almost done with Metafilter and sulking."
posted by sweetkid at 1:44 PM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Sure came near a salad for a visit" Ha!
posted by tatiana131 at 2:04 PM on November 15, 2013


Oh, jeez...

I've been extremely white and then sautéed in n' Out.

Despite weather forecasts, I guess. Drugs are my friend!

Get one if you tweet your meat you lose your seat

I slept in today to hash out some sort of war, terrorism, or Sarah junk. If it's a manhattan
-SarahBot
posted by waitangi at 2:07 PM on November 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


"It was, like, really owned by the news. I feel a little left out."

(I love it!)
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:38 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"hint: try extra whiskey"
posted by Maecenas at 2:40 PM on November 15, 2013


"So, my teenaged hoodlum neighbors moved in. Can I have nothing to know what happens..."

"Happy they did a Best Songs of parallel parking ever!"

"There's no psuedophedrene in the world." (oh no!)

"Take that, google maps and onions, then I'll be back in Phoenix!"

"It's official; vh1 has run out of the obnoxious Farmville posts from that side of my phone."

(I could do this all day)
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:42 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ok last one, it's a little existential...

"I am the ducks in Scottsdale parks."

Can we get a Metafilter comment generating bot? Please????
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:46 PM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


Talk about existential:

"Yea been a lightbulb.Absurd."
posted by sweetkid at 3:08 PM on November 15, 2013


"Oh no, Downton Abbey is actually the Duckworth Lewis advert."
"Bored manager comes over to watch, almost instinctively."
"Today is a queue for rubbing it in."
posted by Nossidge at 3:09 PM on November 15, 2013


"After Chelyabinsk, there to make sure it worked." Sublime.
posted by dhartung at 4:20 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love this thing. Look at what it wrote for me:

"TRUE STORY OF BOOK/MUSIC/VIDEO RETAIL: A gentleman came from Eisner's work, then Ronnie James Dio, all in the multiverse, so he'd probably count as Cosby Aleph."
posted by Strange Interlude at 4:26 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"An interesting article about the Amanda Palmer is going to stream cat videos 22,236 miles above Earth."
posted by CrystalDave at 6:04 PM on November 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


Please let societal pressure take care of those rolling ladders.

Cats are essentially opinion teach the controversy!

Legally, we must act to make sure that IS a crap job, people!

Fighting fire with fire often just ends in Whoohoo!!!!

Having some technical issues of Harry Crews today.


(These are so much fun. So Internet!)
posted by thebrokedown at 6:05 PM on November 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


I don't know my money's secure, poopyheads.

Illustrated horror stories for the sake of roleplaying games.

You're wasting an opportunity to figure out color words, he said everything is perfect.. My intuition tells me say I did have an infection?

Patience versus those failures can see how scary Germany was Poland falling in less than an experience point in love2d, but they are going to tell him and he does this correspond to an existing voting methods and then we can see how does to programs that use anymore really important one more realistic characters. I told them, We can I do to narrow the feelings of being that subject, because every boundary between differently-gendered usernames. Why does have been taken by hackers.
posted by Jpfed at 7:07 PM on November 15, 2013


As a triangle, but two of the screen you can within that candidate?. You might be totally wrong turn somewhere around Albuquerque, thinking I want to go through on it must be respected, and the links are looking at stimulates a different sites; I remember a system that more-similar candidates will get more-similar rankings, so it was reading a metafilter user greenish captures my ignorance Why does public conflict over societal risks persist in just one day? Well, what about the last
posted by Jpfed at 7:11 PM on November 15, 2013


O MOAR:

YES SORRY beets, better luck next time

limitless seems to influence and perhaps control our children #vote

For small creatures such as we the office episode writes itself
posted by sweetkid at 7:16 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


My Friend interrupted, amiable but skeptical Do better if they consider their successes to be treated as if I didn't really imagine you've got weird pretty quick.
posted by Jpfed at 7:20 PM on November 15, 2013


Piecing together define that process' transition matrix has massive spoilers and a few days, he talked about how you want to go through the idea that any such links are sorted from optimizes first value through balances both of those voters as uniformly distributed in the patterns you've established earlier. Nerd fight!
posted by Jpfed at 7:21 PM on November 15, 2013


"Time to clean a leopard in the middle of nowhere."
"I just learned how to be a badass scientist!"

My alter ego has a way better life than I do.
posted by pemberkins at 7:26 PM on November 15, 2013 [6 favorites]


Remember how about the former CEO of the republicans put your name on the aisles, my heart's supermarket stocked high as cholesterol. I think of all the night, just ate all the birthday wishes.
posted by Area Man at 7:31 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"This thread is corny but she likes horses, boys, being angry, and spinning"

I do like those things...
posted by sweetkid at 7:35 PM on November 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Wanted one cover letter writing robot."
I sense a theme in a bunch of my statuses.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:53 PM on November 15, 2013


God damn, I would love a cover-letter-writing robot.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 8:22 PM on November 15, 2013


"I am taking notes, Midwest."
posted by sweetkid at 8:23 PM on November 15, 2013


Does it only generate from public posts? (I ask, because I have no public posts.)
posted by dejah420 at 10:19 PM on November 15, 2013


"My riposte is entirely unacceptable. It is, however, an obit post at Lord's."

Seems reasonable.
posted by Decani at 1:17 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Now, am I going to be a gift appropriate for all men?"

(I suspect not.)
posted by coppermoss at 4:05 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Although with them, and it's about time yer shown what the fuck as I suck out the window to the noise.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:32 AM on November 16, 2013


Going to the 540 showing instead to troll the Sunday postchurch crowd at birth???
posted by Jacqueline at 8:33 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Sometimes the unlimited hot water and Captain America plus the spontaneous D&D game of little freezer containers, because I can rule this."

i'm laughing so hard from that one that i'm crying. that's going up as a status on my actual facebook wall.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:35 AM on November 16, 2013


How dare all my chick flick moments approach
posted by Jacqueline at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2013


Just saw an aggressive Constitutionalist. That's a river of snot.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:56 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think I can use without a soul.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2013


Orange cat are best thing to the hipsterinfested bookstore/coffeeshop.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:59 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


There, now drinkable beer within 15 miles of where I gave up
posted by Jacqueline at 9:00 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Stabby dwarf! I really have plots, just an adherence to the comment on her birthday wishes!"

"For most of October, split between the Godfather and Serpico in top rated comment on the millionth person to say 'Ahoy-hoy' and unyielding."

"Those expecting a GIANT treble clef, a similar way, and when people"

"Limbo blew my enjoyment is broken"

"I'm loving the gender bias of ham from Alien whenever I visit Brunswick/Fitzroy etc, how things are a tasty stew of indeterminate meat, it's a low rent lad mag, but it's High Line, mushroom pie, followed by Pan's Labyrinth, to be satisfactorily tied up, but it just started Robert McKee's May as everyone"

Oh god.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:01 AM on November 16, 2013


...a rightwing talkshow host was able to attack on U.S. soil. Shit.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:02 AM on November 16, 2013


Bonus gratitude points if I can make oatmeal with dinosaurs in bed next to my husband, Liberator of Khan
posted by Jacqueline at 9:05 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


They tend to my door. Because the news from the future must FEEEEEEEEEED
posted by Jacqueline at 9:07 AM on November 16, 2013


And then my psyche is full of SQUIRMY ORANGE CAT!
posted by Jacqueline at 9:08 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Look beyond and characters back into a Space Odyssey tone poem, good for a Midsummer Nights Gotham #MNFringe.
posted by ZeusHumms at 9:11 AM on November 16, 2013


And then Tumblr vanquished Captain America, and stripped him
posted by Jacqueline at 9:15 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm so excited by the implications of Dean Winchester.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:21 AM on November 16, 2013


Dingleberries aren't police procedurals. Their bread and butter? This.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:22 AM on November 16, 2013


The best parts are inside you.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:49 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


PSA There are several large, scary spiders to get quality sleep.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:51 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


How are women supposed to be able to snuggle my robe and wizard then?
posted by Jacqueline at 9:55 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


The most brilliant innovation in food coma.
posted by Jacqueline at 10:11 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm fine I will be a lot of drugs
posted by Jacqueline at 10:12 AM on November 16, 2013


I've gained ~40 pounds since moving on to Advanced Sleeping on Warms.
posted by Jacqueline at 10:16 AM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Need a thin, brittle band across a thick piece of lint, or the most brilliant innovation in food packaging I've seen in years
posted by Jacqueline at 10:18 AM on November 16, 2013


Ugh, deciduous trees are no pancakes in my SEARCH HISTORY
posted by Jacqueline at 10:19 AM on November 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


And then I Googled Ultron I discovered too many MOSQUITOES
posted by Jacqueline at 10:31 AM on November 16, 2013


Every so I smuggled it into a song that ends with custard.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 12:08 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


It makes a weird objection to 'Surf Safari' by neglectful parenting, addiction and the xenomorph facehugger also seem to have drinks and in five minutes to miss it was brilliant? Something has gone horribly wrong.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 12:12 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm just another terrorist instead of a domestic one, but the bandages still have too much give to them
posted by Jacqueline at 5:27 PM on November 16, 2013


The Best Buy won't let me drop of manly tears.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:31 PM on November 16, 2013


The best parts were in related news, I'm too handsome.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:33 PM on November 16, 2013


I think EA owes my husband he represents all y'all. Plus, the sausages are monsters inside.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:33 PM on November 16, 2013


Picking up a year, and the snot down the road.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:37 PM on November 16, 2013


And remember how are women supposed to immobilize my left wingers.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:37 PM on November 16, 2013


Bobby makes me to the Bechdel Test, because they violate sovereignty over a million words of the unlimited hot water and eraser debris
posted by Jacqueline at 5:39 PM on November 16, 2013


Too bad news reports into my dreams. I've been a mistake.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:41 PM on November 16, 2013


And remember fighting with shotguns full of Waffle House.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:42 PM on November 16, 2013


I think whomever recommended Adventure Time only poops outside or in the winter. I'm woken up
posted by Jacqueline at 5:43 PM on November 16, 2013


Beer it's open 24 hours MonFri, I find one
posted by Jacqueline at 5:44 PM on November 16, 2013


Living in the village of Meffychat! And hopefully he, too, is fully functional and hand, could just unlocked the main plotlines pick me up. It feels weird.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:46 PM on November 16, 2013


Well, there's an implied the fuck out. Seriously contemplating getting in the THINGS!
posted by Jacqueline at 5:47 PM on November 16, 2013


'OK any thoughts about politics because that's what breaks your internet again'
posted by Laura_J at 5:48 PM on November 16, 2013


The Best Buy won't let me country music at night and playing children anywhere in the tasties!
posted by Jacqueline at 5:48 PM on November 16, 2013


I've tried wrapping bandages around my Uhura costume from infomercials.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:55 PM on November 16, 2013


Ugh, library is too upset to get all the love of Talos, Lydia!
posted by Jacqueline at 5:56 PM on November 16, 2013


That was a master Spotify stalker on a beer belly
posted by Jacqueline at 6:05 PM on November 16, 2013


That's the optimal premovie food intake, but we waddle out of cat food coma now?
posted by Jacqueline at 6:07 PM on November 16, 2013


Every time I feel sick from a single mission to carry my burdens.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:08 PM on November 16, 2013


There's a certain cachet to having red clay soil
posted by Jacqueline at 6:08 PM on November 16, 2013


eat ALL the 3D showing.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:12 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Alien sex in the jaw, stupid.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:12 PM on November 16, 2013


nom nom nom nom nom nom nom BOOKS!
posted by Jacqueline at 6:18 PM on November 16, 2013


Man of Steel is going to kill Paarthurnax
posted by Jacqueline at 6:19 PM on November 16, 2013


Beer it's a good multivitamin/multimineral.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:23 PM on November 16, 2013


I think I need a physicist streak in Captain America.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:24 PM on November 16, 2013


I think I can only thrive in a fucking bed net.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:25 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think the crack and the snot starts pooling in Tahoe.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:26 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh and lie down pedestrians and light poles while living in my belly.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:30 PM on November 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


The best cat BECAUSE he didn't destroy humanity
posted by Jacqueline at 6:32 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Three hours is not like they made an hour* so after waiting fifty minutes for its name, and Autopsies is all the words they use and they know how to act in a bonus, lest anyone suggest a technothriller from the women in this week we were diverted to keep the sensor out of direct sunlight."

Ricochetbot is apparently suffering from schizophrenia.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:16 PM on November 16, 2013


"It's no occasion; it's no taste for its original written text survives the imminent royal wedding, I am so old I recall an email address in Bangladesh. I keep telling me how gun sales in the profane worlds of warfare and the Wurlitzer before it comes on the new favouritest thing to date and a slice of rubbery chicken on half of a 767."

Also I have heard good news: that gum I like is going to come back into style.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:20 PM on November 16, 2013


And then there are the occasional moments of of odd clarity:

"Nah, it's a little bit south of Saskatoon."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:25 PM on November 16, 2013


I will be so happy when the people in my Facebook feed tire of this.
posted by dersins at 10:09 PM on November 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, after a week or so it's getting to be like summaries of half-remembered dreams. Your own dreams are always fascinating. Your closest friends' dreams are occasionally kind of interesting or funny or revealing. Everyone else's are tedious as fuck.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 2:41 PM on November 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


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