That's not a selfie...
November 18, 2013 10:44 PM   Subscribe

Australians are a people renowned for inventing awesome shit, mate. The flat white. The pavlova. Anzac biscuits. Flight of the Conchords. Now we've gone and topped it all by inventing the selfie. Fish-lipped sheilas everywhere - you're welcome.
posted by obiwanwasabi (44 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
Nice Kiwi-baiting.
posted by gingerest at 10:54 PM on November 18, 2013 [50 favorites]


It really is quality work.

The tags are a bit, erm, well. Yes.
posted by mwhybark at 10:56 PM on November 18, 2013


Our national shame.

:(
posted by Jimbob at 11:01 PM on November 18, 2013


I have a little tear in my eye just now. This ranks up there with the Hills Hoist and the stump-jump plough.
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:09 PM on November 18, 2013


Every once in a while a Kiwi friend will make it to Vancouver for a visit.... god bless 'em. Recently I encountered the word "grunty" to describe coffee.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:12 PM on November 18, 2013




If "grunty coffee" isn't the name of one of those posthumous Zappa albums, it really ought to be.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 11:28 PM on November 18, 2013 [5 favorites]


The article's talking about use of the word 'selfie', though, not the idea of a selfie. Of course, that instance barely counts, since Ozzies put 'ie' on the end of practically every word as a deformalising tic, if daytime soaps like Neighbours are to be believed.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:30 PM on November 18, 2013 [9 favorites]


You motherfucker.
posted by The Monkey at 11:39 PM on November 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


I consider myself successfully trolled. Well done.
posted by anonymisc at 11:52 PM on November 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh dear.
posted by Coaticass at 12:00 AM on November 19, 2013


Actually Australia invented trollie.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:09 AM on November 19, 2013 [4 favorites]


You forgot about that great Australian band Crowded House.
posted by jimmythefish at 12:11 AM on November 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


You motherfuckeries.
posted by vapidave at 12:48 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, nap time.
posted by vapidave at 12:49 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Did they invent taking a "selfie" while driving, though?


Because I am sure the idiot in front of me on University and Lexington the other day did not. She did find novel way to scare the everloving shit out of me, though. What an asshole.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:58 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Drivie? Australians invented drivie, mate. We do it in carsie, which we also inventedie.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 1:12 AM on November 19, 2013 [7 favorites]


You forgot about that great Australian band Crowded House.

Split Enz was from New Zealand. Crowded House was formed in Melbourne in 1985. Two-thirds of the original line-up were Australians. All credit to Neil Finn, but Crowded House is an Australian band. Case closed.
posted by crossoverman at 1:35 AM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


We also invented Phar Lap.
posted by Wolof at 1:41 AM on November 19, 2013


And we invented drop bears, because we are arseholies.
posted by h00py at 2:05 AM on November 19, 2013 [4 favorites]


The flat white really was a genius Australian New Zealand invention. Coffee and milk!
posted by panaceanot at 2:42 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six-foot-four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just made a duckface and Instagrammed a picture of his Vegemite sandwich.
posted by themanwho at 2:59 AM on November 19, 2013 [11 favorites]


Sometimes I wishes we'd never invented New Zealand, or "Zealsie" as we call 'im.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:02 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I also wish I invented proofreadingie.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 3:09 AM on November 19, 2013


There's an Australian Porn site based on nude selfies. It's been around for quite some time; right now they're claiming their tenth anniversary.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:35 AM on November 19, 2013


Ummmm, problem.

The cited Anzac biscuit article claims the first pavlova was Kiwi.
posted by Samizdata at 4:59 AM on November 19, 2013


Digital selfie, thank you very much.
Back in the day, we were shooting selfies with the family Polaroid.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:02 AM on November 19, 2013


Samizdata, if you dig further you'll find that this whole post is blatant Australian cultural appropriation!

Good thing we've got John Clarke.
posted by h00py at 5:11 AM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Who invented Australie though? I've heard it was Great Britnie. I've got all her albums too.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 5:12 AM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


That was back when she ruled the wavies with her navies?
posted by ardgedee at 5:30 AM on November 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


The cited Anzac biscuit article claims the first pavlova was Kiwi.

Does it? I'm appalled!

I suspect Anna Pavlova was also a Kiwi. Made entirely of egg whites and seasonal fruits.

Good thing we've got John Clarke.

Perhaps you do. I am clinging to Fred Dagg.

Note to my American cousins — do not look up what a dag is. It has nothing to do with Blondie and Dagwood. It does have everything to do with a sheep's bottom.
posted by Wolof at 6:05 AM on November 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


And we invented drop bears, because we are arseholies.

The last time I was in Sydney I caught a few drop bears, but at Customs, they fined me for not disclosing my bag of cats. Go figure.
posted by Atreides at 6:43 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Crowded House is an Australian band. Case closed.

You keep telling yourself that. Their first name for the band was Neil Finn and the Weirdie Foreigners.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:06 AM on November 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


Well one thing Australia DID invent was Tony Abbot, because New Zealand would never be so fucking stupid. I mean, seriously. What is wrong with us? Fucking hell.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:37 AM on November 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


*sob*
posted by h00py at 8:04 AM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also Peter Carey.
posted by hwestiii at 8:05 AM on November 19, 2013


the quidnunc kid: I'm almost tempted to let youse fullas have the pavlova out of sympathy for Tony Abbott.
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 11:53 AM on November 19, 2013


I consider myself successfully trolled.

Me too. I had to go watch kiwi videos to calm down. Actually, kiwis don't look as cuddly when you can see how big and strong their legs and feet are.
posted by shelleycat at 12:04 PM on November 19, 2013


I heard he's not even a real Abbott.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:07 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please, call him by his real name: Toned Abs.
posted by gingerest at 12:17 PM on November 19, 2013


The best thing that ever came out of Australia, was AC/DC...THE great Australian band.

The Worst: Puppetry of the Penis.
posted by littlejohnnyjewel at 12:26 PM on November 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Drivie? Australians invented drivie, mate. We do it in carsie, which we also inventedie.

There's a sketch from the first episode of Angry Boys which I assume is appropriate here, about wheelies and country towns, but damned if I can find it on YouTube. It is also depressingly accurate.

I heard he's not even a real Abbott.

He's a failed Abbott.

Please, call him by his real name: Toned Abs.

If we had in-line images, you would be totally staring at an image of his cock-jocks right now.
The red ones.
posted by Mezentian at 2:09 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sorry Ozzies, not only do you not have kiwi's, what about penguins?

Dude, I live in Wellington, the capital city, and I was at the wharf, next to the national museum, last thursday night (drinking wine from a bottle, oh so classy), when I had a penguin totter up to where we were sitting, hang round on a rock next to us, then fall in my lap.

DUUUUDE!
posted by Elysum at 4:29 PM on November 20, 2013


We have penguins.
Many penguins.
A whole island of them, as well.
posted by Mezentian at 6:29 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


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