Touch my updo, I'll skype you
November 27, 2013 11:55 AM Subscribe
12. Wearable computing device as claimed in claim 1, further comprising a laser pointer that is arranged in or on the wig.
Sony has filed a patent application for the world's first (?) Smart Wig.
Bloomberg has more details, including the revelation that three prototypes - the Presentation, Navigation and Sensing Wigs - exist, and that the computerised hairpiece might prove "very difficult for Sony to commercialize".
The Guardian asks the important questions.
Sony has filed a patent application for the world's first (?) Smart Wig.
Bloomberg has more details, including the revelation that three prototypes - the Presentation, Navigation and Sensing Wigs - exist, and that the computerised hairpiece might prove "very difficult for Sony to commercialize".
The Guardian asks the important questions.
Replace every instance of "wig" with "merkin" for guaranteed fun times:
posted by griphus at 12:00 PM on November 27, 2013 [11 favorites]
I'm still holding out for the USBeehive.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [9 favorites]
But what about those of us who aren't bald?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Purple toupee will show the way when TomTom lets you down.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
Pair it with a fine Bluetooth comb and it will look great.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:27 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:27 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
This is reminding me of Infinite Jest.
I didn't actually finish it, but doesn't anyone remember the program they had that essentially created an icon to represent you on Skype-like calls?
posted by MoxieProxy at 12:32 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I didn't actually finish it, but doesn't anyone remember the program they had that essentially created an icon to represent you on Skype-like calls?
posted by MoxieProxy at 12:32 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
"And by simply pulling your wig back into a 'Battle Ponytail', your personal barrette-drone cloud goes into hunter-killer mode."
posted by jason_steakums at 12:34 PM on November 27, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by jason_steakums at 12:34 PM on November 27, 2013 [6 favorites]
Jesus, someone talk to these dummies - 'Jet-pack' not 'Smart wig'
posted by From Bklyn at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by From Bklyn at 12:47 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
Jet wig.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 12:48 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 12:48 PM on November 27, 2013 [5 favorites]
WHATS THAT ON YOUR HEAD
A WIIIIIIIIIIIIG!
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 12:53 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
A WIIIIIIIIIIIIG!
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 12:53 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
Ok yeah, this is weird. But personal GPS navigation has been a life changer for many blind people, and a discrete device that you could wear to help you get out and about would be amazing.
See also: Google Glasses (with face recognition, so you know who else is nearby. Mingling is incredibly difficult if you can't see).
posted by Helga-woo at 1:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
See also: Google Glasses (with face recognition, so you know who else is nearby. Mingling is incredibly difficult if you can't see).
posted by Helga-woo at 1:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
This wig is based on famous hairpieces that actually took place in ancient Japan. Now here's a giant enemy louse.
posted by Behemoth at 1:04 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Behemoth at 1:04 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
WIG TO WIG COMMUNICATION
what a time to be alive
posted by elizardbits at 1:11 PM on November 27, 2013 [7 favorites]
what a time to be alive
posted by elizardbits at 1:11 PM on November 27, 2013 [7 favorites]
Why do this with a wig and not a hat?
I would totally buy a hat with built-in GPS or a cell phone hands-free thing, or maybe some kind of camera.
A wig, though? WTF do I want that for? I have hair.
It doesn't occur to me that the market for smart cybernetic-infused accessories overlaps significantly with the market for hairpieces.
posted by Sara C. at 1:12 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would totally buy a hat with built-in GPS or a cell phone hands-free thing, or maybe some kind of camera.
A wig, though? WTF do I want that for? I have hair.
It doesn't occur to me that the market for smart cybernetic-infused accessories overlaps significantly with the market for hairpieces.
posted by Sara C. at 1:12 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
If someone infringes their patent, there's gonna be hell toupee.
posted by w0mbat at 1:12 PM on November 27, 2013 [33 favorites]
posted by w0mbat at 1:12 PM on November 27, 2013 [33 favorites]
Will it be smart enough to prevent Comb-over Mode?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:16 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:16 PM on November 27, 2013
"I just washed my device and I can't do a thing with it!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:17 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:17 PM on November 27, 2013
... further comprising a laser pointer that is arranged in or on the wig.
Try wearing it in the presence of your cat, and watch hilarity ensue!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
Try wearing it in the presence of your cat, and watch hilarity ensue!
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
w0mbat I have summoned the pun police, you are going away for a long time.
posted by elizardbits at 1:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 1:18 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Lemme call you back, my phone's clogged again."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
At least it will text you if it detects that it is crooked.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Ironmouth at 1:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
As computers get cheaper and smaller, 'smart' everything is inevitable. You might as well patent everything from smart wigs, to smart shoes, to smart toiletbowl cleaners now. It'll be worth a billion dollars in a future patent infringement suit between two companies who never read your patents but bought them in an auction.
posted by empath at 1:26 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 1:26 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Smart X" will be the "Like X, but on the internet" of the 2010s.
posted by empath at 1:27 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 1:27 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm going to offer the inverse prediction, that in ten years nobody will have a smart anything but literally everything will be available in wig form.
posted by emmtee at 1:30 PM on November 27, 2013 [13 favorites]
posted by emmtee at 1:30 PM on November 27, 2013 [13 favorites]
IS IT WIRELESS OR WILL I NEED HAIR PLUGS
posted by Teakettle at 1:31 PM on November 27, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by Teakettle at 1:31 PM on November 27, 2013 [12 favorites]
"Lemme call you back, my phone's clogged again."
The optional Etherhairnet will fix that.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:40 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
The optional Etherhairnet will fix that.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:40 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
Can I get an offline version - a sort of Faraday Wig?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:42 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:42 PM on November 27, 2013
Thanks empath, I've just registered 'earwigs'.
posted by de at 1:43 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by de at 1:43 PM on November 27, 2013 [2 favorites]
This definitely opens up new wardrobe possibilities for whomever is cast as Wig in the movie adaptation of Gibson's Count Zero.
Please tell me this wig comes with three megabytes of hot RAM.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:47 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Please tell me this wig comes with three megabytes of hot RAM.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:47 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
So there's a laser death ray built into the wig? Sounds like something for James Bond (especially after he went bald).
...there is only one true James Bond...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:01 PM on November 27, 2013
...there is only one true James Bond...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:01 PM on November 27, 2013
WYSIWIG!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:03 PM on November 27, 2013 [9 favorites]
Finally, a worthy adversary for the Thing On Donald Trump's Head!
posted by briank at 2:51 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by briank at 2:51 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I imagine connectivity will be by toupee-as-you-go. As long as it can get coverage.
(A friend, a Cambridge academic, says that he has copious prior art. He is as bald like unto the coot, so I rather believe him)
posted by Devonian at 2:55 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
(A friend, a Cambridge academic, says that he has copious prior art. He is as bald like unto the coot, so I rather believe him)
posted by Devonian at 2:55 PM on November 27, 2013 [3 favorites]
Wig weirdness and jokes aside, Sara C, you know you could make a hat with GPS, or bluetooth I mean, Skype might be tricky but basic wearables are alive and well (and totally the future).
I'm currently working on a scarf that points home (or whatever coordinates I feel like) using a GPS module, some LED Pixels and a Flora (Adafruit's wearable electronics platform, it's like an Arduino but you can sew it into projects.
Not to push it too hard (I work there) but there are a ton of tutorials and it's pretty badass.
posted by KernalM at 4:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
I'm currently working on a scarf that points home (or whatever coordinates I feel like) using a GPS module, some LED Pixels and a Flora (Adafruit's wearable electronics platform, it's like an Arduino but you can sew it into projects.
Not to push it too hard (I work there) but there are a ton of tutorials and it's pretty badass.
posted by KernalM at 4:23 PM on November 27, 2013 [4 favorites]
What if the GPS in your wig or scarf gets confused? I can see the "local man throttled by clothing" headlines now.
posted by arcticseal at 5:04 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by arcticseal at 5:04 PM on November 27, 2013
Perfect for hanging around the end zone with a John 3:16 sign
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 5:24 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 5:24 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Sara C.: "Why do this with a wig and not a hat?
I would totally buy a hat with built-in GPS or a cell phone hands-free thing, or maybe some kind of camera.
A wig, though? WTF do I want that for? I have hair.
It doesn't occur to me that the market for smart cybernetic-infused accessories overlaps significantly with the market for hairpieces."
But I want the hat with flip down semi-mirrorshades that run a program that draws circles around people's faces and prints random text in boxes next to the circles. If the hat says "NSA" on it, so much the cooler.
posted by Samizdata at 7:05 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would totally buy a hat with built-in GPS or a cell phone hands-free thing, or maybe some kind of camera.
A wig, though? WTF do I want that for? I have hair.
It doesn't occur to me that the market for smart cybernetic-infused accessories overlaps significantly with the market for hairpieces."
But I want the hat with flip down semi-mirrorshades that run a program that draws circles around people's faces and prints random text in boxes next to the circles. If the hat says "NSA" on it, so much the cooler.
posted by Samizdata at 7:05 PM on November 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh, and the flipdown mirrorshades are spring-loaded with a pocket remote.
posted by Samizdata at 7:08 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by Samizdata at 7:08 PM on November 27, 2013
...a life changer for many blind people, and a discrete device that you could wear to help you get out and about would be amazing.
As a Dad, I would appreciate another way to look cooly efficient in front of my kids -- and always knowing where I am and how to get to things would be pretty awesome. Not that I am afraid to ask for directions, just that, you know, Having The Answer At My Fingertips is such a sweet feeling.
(And Buddy Cianci could use one to screen callers on his radio show!)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:21 PM on November 27, 2013
As a Dad, I would appreciate another way to look cooly efficient in front of my kids -- and always knowing where I am and how to get to things would be pretty awesome. Not that I am afraid to ask for directions, just that, you know, Having The Answer At My Fingertips is such a sweet feeling.
(And Buddy Cianci could use one to screen callers on his radio show!)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:21 PM on November 27, 2013
pretty sure Loctus of Borg has prior art on this.
posted by mwhybark at 10:56 PM on November 27, 2013
posted by mwhybark at 10:56 PM on November 27, 2013
This is reminding me of Infinite Jest.
posted by Alexsandra at 1:32 AM on November 28, 2013
posted by Alexsandra at 1:32 AM on November 28, 2013
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