Presumably wearing fright wigs.
November 28, 2013 10:28 AM Subscribe
Norfolk Police Warn of Alarming Clown Epidemic "It appears that the people involved are waiting for a passerby to be startled by their appearance and run away, and then the clown runs after them for a short distance.
Previously, in Northampton.
Local clowns for local people.
posted by fight or flight at 10:36 AM on November 28, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by fight or flight at 10:36 AM on November 28, 2013 [12 favorites]
Fucking scary.
posted by ladybird at 10:37 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ladybird at 10:37 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Apparently each new town gets a scarier clown, it is becoming harder to find the line between harmlessly scary and call-the-police creepy.
In other words, they're big shoes to fill.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:39 AM on November 28, 2013 [21 favorites]
In other words, they're big shoes to fill.
posted by MuffinMan at 10:39 AM on November 28, 2013 [21 favorites]
Clowns are not the only disguises that can be unsettling.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:42 AM on November 28, 2013
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:42 AM on November 28, 2013
Beware of the "magical preteen orgy"...
posted by chavenet at 10:47 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by chavenet at 10:47 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
That sounds like Otherworld business, more of a countryside thing.
posted by Artw at 10:53 AM on November 28, 2013
posted by Artw at 10:53 AM on November 28, 2013
Could be worse. Could be mimes!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:05 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:05 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Yeeshe. I know we're all trying to be creative here, but this is not cool.
Who in history thought clowns were a good thing? He should get a swift kick in the nuts.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:06 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
Who in history thought clowns were a good thing? He should get a swift kick in the nuts.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:06 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
The really frightening thought is just how easily circus clowns blend in with the crowd. They can be in the middle of a stadium lying in wait for the right moment to jump out....next thing you know its The Barnum & Bailey Rapture.
I, for one, am cancelling my month long cruise on the Elizabeth River.
posted by lampshade at 11:13 AM on November 28, 2013
I, for one, am cancelling my month long cruise on the Elizabeth River.
posted by lampshade at 11:13 AM on November 28, 2013
He will not dress as a clown and have sex with someone; nor will he permit someone dressed as a clown to have sex with him. Clowns make James Deen uncomfortable.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:19 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by KokuRyu at 11:19 AM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
My worst nightmare has been realized. As far as I'm concerned the phrase "Creepy clown" is redundant. I'm just glad there's an ocean between me and this new form of domestic terror.
Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns. *shudder*
posted by lordrunningclam at 11:27 AM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns. *shudder*
posted by lordrunningclam at 11:27 AM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
IT BEGINS
posted by elizardbits at 11:33 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 11:33 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
From a series of text messages on my phone from Tuesday, with a clown-loathing friend:
Her:
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:
posted by adipocere at 11:40 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
Her:
I was watching some Oddities show and they had a 6ft-tall animatronic clown. Fuck that.Me:
Now with built-in biting motion and optional axe-swinging package!Her:
UhhhhhhhMe:
Be sure to refill Bozo-Bites-a-Lot with inexpensive GorePaks to make sure blood streams from his eyes with each laugh! Don't worry, he's a "crying on the outside, too," kind of clown!Her:
i hate youposted by adipocere at 11:40 AM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
Doesn't look like a clown but I'm reminded of the 'world famous' Bushman of Fisherman's Wharf.
posted by Rash at 11:48 AM on November 28, 2013
posted by Rash at 11:48 AM on November 28, 2013
How long before one of these clowns is beaten, stabbed, or shot? I don't think they've thought their cunning plan all the way through.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 12:07 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 12:07 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I recommend being armed at all times, just in case you're attacked by one of these maniacs, with one of these.
posted by 445supermag at 12:12 PM on November 28, 2013
posted by 445supermag at 12:12 PM on November 28, 2013
InsertNiftyNameHere: "How long before one of these clowns is beaten, stabbed, or shot? I don't think they've thought their cunning plan all the way through."
...or that's just another sign our puny mortal weapons can't harm them.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:18 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
...or that's just another sign our puny mortal weapons can't harm them.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:18 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Nobody has been assaulted and it appears that the people involved are waiting for a passerby to be startled by their appearance and run away, and then the clown runs after them for a short distancePutting someone in fear of immediate physical violence is assault. Good to see the police have as firm a grasp on the law as ever.
posted by howfar at 1:01 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Remember to aim for the nose. That's their weak spot.
posted by Etrigan at 1:10 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Etrigan at 1:10 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Norfolk Police Warn of Alarming Clown Epidemic
At no point in that sentence did I have any idea what word was coming next.
posted by KathrynT at 1:16 PM on November 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
At no point in that sentence did I have any idea what word was coming next.
posted by KathrynT at 1:16 PM on November 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
Who in history thought clowns were a good thing? He should get a swift kick in the nuts.
I was in the process of putting together an FPP about the favorite clowns of my childhood. I guess I know what to prepare for?
posted by Nomyte at 1:21 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I was in the process of putting together an FPP about the favorite clowns of my childhood. I guess I know what to prepare for?
posted by Nomyte at 1:21 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
WHO SHALL DEFEND US FROM THIS PAINTED MENACE
where is batman
posted by elizardbits at 1:29 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
where is batman
posted by elizardbits at 1:29 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Has anyone taken a tally of the local population? I have the feeling like every new sighting could occur after someone has gone mysteriously missing.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:33 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 1:33 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Firstly I'd like to stress that it isn't against the law to dress up as a clown.
Well, UK towns, what are you waiting for? I think it's time for a "Soft on Clowns? Soft on Crime!" campaign.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:16 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Well, UK towns, what are you waiting for? I think it's time for a "Soft on Clowns? Soft on Crime!" campaign.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:16 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Norfolk Police Warn of Alarming Clown Epidemic
My favourite Fall album.
posted by reynir at 2:21 PM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
My favourite Fall album.
posted by reynir at 2:21 PM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Against clowns, you need firearms.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:28 PM on November 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:28 PM on November 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
Against clowns, you need firearms.
Wow. I idly tried that on Amazon UK, and believe it or not there are only two for sale in the whole country.
Clearly this ongoing clown epidemic is taking its toll on supplies.
posted by forgetful snow at 2:53 PM on November 28, 2013
Wow. I idly tried that on Amazon UK, and believe it or not there are only two for sale in the whole country.
Clearly this ongoing clown epidemic is taking its toll on supplies.
posted by forgetful snow at 2:53 PM on November 28, 2013
Has anyone taken a tally of the local population? I have the feeling like every new sighting could occur after someone has gone mysteriously missing.
I imagine the local reports continuing for a while, until it seems there are more clowns than people, fewer police to address the local concern, but the remaining people don't mind so much.
"The clowns? They're not so bad. We've gotten a bit more fit from all this jogging from the rascals, and they really bring some color to the town. But I do miss my Donny. Odd thing, I saw a clown chappie who looked a tidge like him. I was going to tell my sis Beth, but I haven't seen her for a while. Oh hey, another clown! Let's jog!"
posted by filthy light thief at 3:41 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
I imagine the local reports continuing for a while, until it seems there are more clowns than people, fewer police to address the local concern, but the remaining people don't mind so much.
"The clowns? They're not so bad. We've gotten a bit more fit from all this jogging from the rascals, and they really bring some color to the town. But I do miss my Donny. Odd thing, I saw a clown chappie who looked a tidge like him. I was going to tell my sis Beth, but I haven't seen her for a while. Oh hey, another clown! Let's jog!"
posted by filthy light thief at 3:41 PM on November 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Next season of the THE WALKING DEAD, I'm telling you.
posted by sweet mister at 3:58 PM on November 28, 2013
posted by sweet mister at 3:58 PM on November 28, 2013
Quick! Someone call Boris!
...Like... a piece of lingerie a clown would wear?
He is also sometimes seen carrying a clown teddy.
...
posted by XMLicious at 4:49 PM on November 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Gaywood sounds like the sort of place that could do with more clowns. From Wikipedia - 'A group of Gaywood residents did at one point set up Gaywood Park Action Group, which was aimed at improving the Gaywood area and providing various activities and services for local people. This group now seems to have become obsolete, possibly due to lack of funding or interest.'
posted by unliteral at 4:49 PM on November 28, 2013
posted by unliteral at 4:49 PM on November 28, 2013
One thing about living in Norfolk I never could stomach -- all the damn vampires clowns.
posted by Herodios at 5:50 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Herodios at 5:50 PM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a HONK HONK!
posted by evilcupcakes at 9:34 PM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by evilcupcakes at 9:34 PM on November 28, 2013 [4 favorites]
I agree this could be interpreted as assault.
But then again, I'd much rather have this than the knockout game in my city.
posted by autobahn at 11:35 PM on November 28, 2013
But then again, I'd much rather have this than the knockout game in my city.
posted by autobahn at 11:35 PM on November 28, 2013
sweet mister, I've actually been waiting -- and hoping -- for a clown costumed zombie to pop up on Walking Dead ever since the show began. Because then all the people who make fun of me for being afraid of clowns would know what I see when I look at them. I mean, surely some clown somewhere was bitten when in costume?
posted by emcat8 at 12:32 AM on November 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by emcat8 at 12:32 AM on November 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
I do miss my Donny. Odd thing, I saw a clown chappie who looked a tidge like him. I was going to tell my sis Beth, but I haven't seen her for a while. . . .
I've actually been waiting for a clown costumed zombie to pop up. . .
Some one is turning English people into clowns?
THEY MEAN TO WIN WIMBLEDON!
posted by Herodios at 5:33 AM on November 29, 2013
I've actually been waiting for a clown costumed zombie to pop up. . .
Some one is turning English people into clowns?
THEY MEAN TO WIN WIMBLEDON!
posted by Herodios at 5:33 AM on November 29, 2013
At no point in that sentence did I have any idea what word was coming next.
Or as we say.. norfolking idea.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:31 AM on November 29, 2013 [3 favorites]
Or as we say.. norfolking idea.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:31 AM on November 29, 2013 [3 favorites]
Thank goodness it is Norfolk in England and not the one in Virginia. 100 miles would be too damn close to me.
Fair warning, if someone does this to me, I will end up panicking and hit you. I have been afraid of clowns since I was a toddler and my parents scared me with them. It will not be pretty.
posted by SuzySmith at 9:11 PM on November 29, 2013
Fair warning, if someone does this to me, I will end up panicking and hit you. I have been afraid of clowns since I was a toddler and my parents scared me with them. It will not be pretty.
posted by SuzySmith at 9:11 PM on November 29, 2013
One of my earliest memories (just sub-three, evidently) is being afraid of the dark and my parents buying me a night-light.
In the shape of a foot and a half tall clown.
Oh well, it does help assuage the guilt about the things that happened later.
posted by jamjam at 8:08 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
In the shape of a foot and a half tall clown.
Oh well, it does help assuage the guilt about the things that happened later.
posted by jamjam at 8:08 AM on November 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
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posted by Artw at 10:29 AM on November 28, 2013 [1 favorite]