Emu Tango

December 4, 2013 7:30 PM

The Emus and Sexy Sexy Sniper the Ostrich dance the tango against their greatest enemy: The weasel ball.
posted by bobobox (40 comments total)

this is our ultimate victory over the dinosaurs.
posted by The Whelk at 7:32 PM on December 4, 2013 [8 favorites]

Actually the dinosaurs won this one. The machine showed no fear, but when its batteries ran down the birds pwn3d it.
posted by localroger at 7:36 PM on December 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

I was going to say I expect this was a similar dance to one the velociraptors did to our proto-mammalian ancestors.
posted by Celsius1414 at 7:39 PM on December 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

WEASEL FRAND
posted by elizardbits at 7:44 PM on December 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Emus are better than ostriches. Fact.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:51 PM on December 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I was going to say I expect this was a similar dance to one the velociraptors did to our proto-mammalian ancestors.

Back in caveman times, a weasel ball was an actual weasel, with its smashed-in head stuck to a rolling rock.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:52 PM on December 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Such great necks. Neck-like things.
posted by unknowncommand at 7:52 PM on December 4, 2013

I love that they're terrified until it dies. Then they're all like "oh yeah, you totally came into the wrong neighborhood, asshole".


I guess what I'm trying to say here is that emus are dicks.

....one attacked me at 13 while i was at a park with a free-roaming emu...
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 7:53 PM on December 4, 2013 [12 favorites]

Nature is weirder than we could possibly have imagined.
posted by restless_nomad at 7:53 PM on December 4, 2013

Emus look really, really odd. I hadn't thought about this before, but they are incredibly weird looking animals.
posted by jeather at 8:16 PM on December 4, 2013

And in related news, an Australian man who filmed himself riding an emu to work and posted the video online could be charged with animal cruelty offences.
posted by jeather at 8:18 PM on December 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I sampled ground emu a the grocery store about 20 years ago and it was delicious. It's expensive though.
posted by Daddy-O at 8:26 PM on December 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Emus are clearly the Lucille Balls of flightless fowl.
posted by msali at 8:38 PM on December 4, 2013

I sampled ground emu...

Emus are flightless. Ground emu is just normal emu.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:51 PM on December 4, 2013 [20 favorites]

Sky emu, now that would be a thing.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:52 PM on December 4, 2013 [10 favorites]

Oh look, someone caught how I flirt with cute boys on video
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 8:54 PM on December 4, 2013 [18 favorites]

These Birds of a Feather: "Oh look, someone caught how I flirt with cute boys on video"

Eponysterical...
posted by notsnot at 8:59 PM on December 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Were they terrified before the batteries died? I couldn't tell whether they were trying to defend themselves or eat the weasel ball, though it was clear they were pretty uncertain about getting too close.
posted by janell at 9:14 PM on December 4, 2013

This post needs a Taberinos warning for that tango. I'm shaking and sweating and considering an all-nighter relapse.
posted by carsonb at 10:30 PM on December 4, 2013

Between this and the turkey that circled that lady's car I am really grateful that huge muscular birds don't play a big role in my daily life.
posted by gingerest at 11:35 PM on December 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

that's roughly how i kill roaches minus the triumphant pecking.

step on it step on it step on it NOOOOOOO fuck it fuck it fuck it circle circle where is it oh shit oh shit oh shit ew ew ew ew fuck thiiiiiiiiiiiis
posted by twist my arm at 11:40 PM on December 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

I want a new version that is identical to this one, except at the end, when all the birds have let their guard down and are starting to tear apart the ball, it suddenly turns back on. I want to see the resulting mass emu freakout so badly.
posted by bibliowench at 12:04 AM on December 5, 2013 [9 favorites]

Should I watch this? I don't feel like it could ever live up to that Mad Libs description.
posted by brundlefly at 12:33 AM on December 5, 2013

I was wrong.
posted by brundlefly at 12:36 AM on December 5, 2013 [5 favorites]

I don't even know what to think about that turkey video.

With regard to the Emu Tango, this is when I'd like to hear from an expert. I'm very curious about their behavior — it's like they were compelled to repeatedly approach it even though they were very alarmed by it. And how they approached it was interesting, too. Were they trying to scare it off while keeping their distance? Did they just keep forgetting it was there? Are emus just fucking nuts? I need answers.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 12:58 AM on December 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

Considering that an emu can disembowel a human in a single blow, I think they must have been alarmed and intrigued by the weasel's unpredictable motion.
posted by gingerest at 1:11 AM on December 5, 2013

Emus are better than ostriches. Fact.

It may be fact, but they are as dumb as a box of billabongs.
(And kinda scary when they attack).

Damnit. There's an emu in my yard now, and I need to get the washing in.
posted by Mezentian at 2:08 AM on December 5, 2013 [4 favorites]

Was I the only one expecting a ball of weasels like this?
posted by romakimmy at 5:29 AM on December 5, 2013

Things I have learned today: emus are big chickens.
posted by drlith at 5:32 AM on December 5, 2013

You've never spent time with an emu, have you?
posted by Mezentian at 6:34 AM on December 5, 2013

I was just talking with somebody yesterday who told me that wild turkeys are not only very smart, but that they can be very aggressive, even against humans. If you're smaller or, I guess, if the turkey is just that angry that day, they'll come for you.
posted by PussKillian at 7:06 AM on December 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Emus are better than ostriches. Fact.

Fact: they are both hideous creepy beasts who want to kill us all.
posted by elizardbits at 7:30 AM on December 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Jurassic Park aside, anyone who has been chased by a goose can attest that the dinosaurs never died out. These are just larger examples.

You've never spent time with an emu, have you?

Now I want to hear Emu Emo Emusic. They do Eminem covers released on EMI Records, and use emailed Emoji logos to connect with the kids.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:40 AM on December 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Rod Hull would have hated weasel balls too.
posted by davelog at 9:18 AM on December 5, 2013

Dammit scientists, nature has gotten us 95% of the way to chocobos already. You just need to make them a little bigger, a little nicer, and yellow. Get on it!
posted by Blue Meanie at 9:23 AM on December 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

Celsius1414: "Jurassic Park aside, anyone who has been chased by a goose can attest that the dinosaurs never died out. These are just larger examples."

See also: cassowaries. Those things are terrifying.
posted by brundlefly at 9:45 AM on December 5, 2013 [3 favorites]

Rod Hull would have hated weasel balls too.

THE TINSEL MENACE
posted by elizardbits at 10:06 AM on December 5, 2013

That's some prime quality emu slapstick going on right there.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:18 AM on December 5, 2013

I'm now fascinated by the video of the baby emus and ostriches dancing that's linked at the end of the tango video. How do they keep that carpet so pristine?!
posted by telophase at 12:13 PM on December 5, 2013

I love that they're terrified until it dies.

Oh no, they're not terrified, they're pissed.

"Lay down and die, worm. We will eat your heart first and then peck your eyes out."
posted by BlueHorse at 7:15 PM on December 5, 2013 [2 favorites]