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Frosting has more integrity than your ex-boyfriend.
December 17, 2013 4:17 AM   Subscribe


 
Just wipe that hope away.
posted by Jernau at 4:38 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meet Your First Black Girlfriend, she is amazing.
posted by Blasdelb at 4:49 AM on December 17, 2013 [6 favorites]


also, Why I Hate Black History Month
posted by Blasdelb at 5:17 AM on December 17, 2013


I cracked up at this. She is hilarious!
posted by Aquifer at 5:24 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


She makes an assumption that everyone can just get a cat... For some that still isn't an option If you are allergic to cats but still want one to stave off your loneliness - there's this wonderful item.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:14 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't know, I found it kind of cliche and depressing. But I could see myself liking more of her stuff.
posted by sweetkid at 6:40 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


This kind of rode a line with respect to My Drunk Kitchen. A line between homage and... well, I think it stayed on the "homage" side of the line.
posted by gurple at 7:03 AM on December 17, 2013


That's a lot of production work to put into an extended amirite? riff about single women and their billion cats.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 7:36 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Agreed, "bottled tears" as a funny concept is beyond tiring at this point.

I thought Henry's Anytime Chili for One did this better, and without the HAHA women/cats/castration/hahahaha.
posted by sweetkid at 7:40 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Cat's can't leave you"

Oh if only that were true. I never found out what happened to Mog. and ten years later, his sister Meg. And this year, Tiger Tim, who was born in our house. We live in the countryside and always have several cats. They roam for miles, and every few years one of them doesn't come back. :(

I've lost girlfriends and I've lost cats, and while losing a girl hurts like heck for a few days, in the long run losing a cat is worse.

I still miss Mog.

Oh God now I'm sad. Thanks, cheery Youtube video. Merry Christmas to you too.

(PS I'm not single any more: found someone who wants to run a cattery, so I know she's The One.)
posted by EnterTheStory at 7:42 AM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you're still in the "anger" stage of grief about being single, you can make pancakes.
posted by narain at 9:09 AM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Total side note, I made festive holiday cookies on a whim recently and every single person turned them down. So I ate them all myself.
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on December 17, 2013




...and then I read the last scentance
posted by Blasdelb at 9:40 AM on December 17, 2013


Well, this is no surprise. Until you learn to cream the butter and sugar together before adding the dry ingredients, you can't honestly expect someone to truly love you.
posted by mochapickle at 9:57 AM on December 17, 2013 [3 favorites]


The trick, Whelk, is to leave them on a plate in a common kitchen area. People will gladly steal what they don't wish to be given.
posted by bswinburn at 11:11 AM on December 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


I disagree. Singles needn't torture themselves in this way. If you're single you can be eating the finest, prettiest, artisanally-made cookies available and drinking the finest accompanying beverage of your choice. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE SINGLE!
posted by octobersurprise at 3:05 PM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Perhaps this is aimed at the newly-single, because as a long-term single, I stopped caring about exes a long, long time ago. Several jug-sized bottles of Duty Free Johnnie Walker ago.

Johnnie understands me. Johnnie's always there. Isn't that right, Johnnie?
posted by Capt. Renault at 3:53 PM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


*uses bottlecap as puppet*
"That's right, Captain!"
"Thanks, Johnnie. You're the best!"
"Merry Christmas, every one!"

posted by Capt. Renault at 3:56 PM on December 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Captain Renault, dude, I love you, but I'm not going to sit here and watch you cowabunga your life away!
posted by octobersurprise at 4:26 PM on December 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I liked the part where she spelled Fuck You with cookies.
posted by Sara C. at 9:46 PM on December 17, 2013


"Cat's can't leave you"

The worst part is when you find out the little orange-and-white bastard is living full-time with his other family, who calls him "Bandit" and lets the kids cart him around all day when he'd only grudgingly tolerate a few pets and an ear scritch from you.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:30 AM on December 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


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