January 2, 2002

4:33 PM

As if it didn't have everything else going against it, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones to feature cameos by members of *Nsync.To all of those who thought "could it get any worse after Jar-Jar?" The answer is apparently a resounding, "Hell, yes it can! And it has!" Remember, don't shoot the messenger.
posted by Ufez Jones (45 comments total)

The only good thing about this is the fact that they appear for 1/2 a second and then get killed. Ha ha ha. Might be worth going to see it just for that.
posted by TiggleTaggleTiger at 4:35 PM on January 2, 2002

Bleah!!

Dear Mr. Lucas: Your cash cow has died. Please quit milking it.
posted by xena at 4:36 PM on January 2, 2002

That is almost disgusting enough to keep me from seeing it. Almost...
posted by zekinskia at 4:42 PM on January 2, 2002

Apparently before there were Imperial Walkers, there were Imperial Dancers.
posted by shagoth at 4:43 PM on January 2, 2002

The guys from N Sync could be on the Jedi Council in this movie and I would still see it. I would feel oh so dirty afterwards, but I would see it.

Since they die quickly in this one, though, it's okay, if still fundamentally wrong.
posted by CrayDrygu at 4:44 PM on January 2, 2002

Bring back Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers!
posted by MrBaliHai at 4:45 PM on January 2, 2002

waste of a good cameo if you ask me. unless they get blasted by stormtroopers talking like the guys in Troops.

You, with the camera. Turn it off.
posted by th3ph17 at 4:50 PM on January 2, 2002

I don't know what you guys are whining about. It is called Attack of the Clones, right?
posted by Hildago at 4:51 PM on January 2, 2002

How pathetic it is to care about the expensive, shallow fluff which is Star Wars. The whole series is, basically Titanic for the lightweight sci-fi crowd. Amazing.
posted by ParisParamus at 4:58 PM on January 2, 2002

ya know, after LOTR, i ain't gonna care about any other movies anymore.
posted by arrowhead at 5:01 PM on January 2, 2002

Thank you, Mr Lucas, for taking my childhood away from me and crushing it before my very eyes.

Maybe you'll apologise to the 'true fans' someday if you can manage to get Satan's dick out of your mouth, you capitalist whore, you.
posted by tiger yang at 5:10 PM on January 2, 2002

The guys will be seen for a fleeting moment in a "big scene with lots of extras."

So what? This is par for the course in Hollywood. If you were the producer's friend or sang at his little girl's birthday party you'd be in that movie too. At worst they're just extras at best they're extras wearing masks.

The whole series is, basically Titanic for the lightweight sci-fi crowd. Amazing.


Who said it wasn't? The first was a basic space opera, but it looked really neat-o and kids loved it. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're expecting Philip K. Dick then buy a PKD book. When Lucas says they are kids' movies he really means it. I thought Empire was more for adults and older kids than kids, but everything else has the kid friendly elements that Lucas often defends.

The real problem is that people around my age - mid 20's, saw the old movies as great works of sci-fi when they were kids and still haven't realized that the movies are really just cheesy fun.

If you want fulfill your star wars fix try some of the books or the Dark Horse comics. They're generally more intelligent than the movies.
posted by skallas at 5:16 PM on January 2, 2002

and then there was the legend of the rangers...
posted by kliuless at 5:28 PM on January 2, 2002

I was mad at this news as well, but then I realize that they all die in the movie, and that made me sorta happy.
posted by punkrockrat at 5:30 PM on January 2, 2002

Ah, but will there be action figures?
posted by allpaws at 5:35 PM on January 2, 2002

And Taco Bell collector's cups chock full of Pepsi goodness...
posted by machaus at 6:07 PM on January 2, 2002

> ya know, after LOTR, i ain't gonna care about any other movies anymore

Indeed. Star Wars used to do it for me in high school, but then I grew up. By the looks of it, Anakin could use some serious acting lessons ...better yet, NSync should teach the poor guy some dance moves instead so he doesn't need to speak the George Lucas tripe at all.

Lucas' scripts are obviously not meant to be spoken... his latest lyrical masterpiece must be sung to have any value. I propose Episode II, Musical of the Clones.
posted by Dane at 6:16 PM on January 2, 2002

I thought the latest "romance" trailer suggested this one would be Episode 2: Teen Movie in Space, but the addition of a boy band seals the deal. I just hope the word "whatever" crops up repeatedly in the script.
posted by D at 6:22 PM on January 2, 2002

Many of Obi-Wan's training Anakin scenes are peppered with whoas and duuudes.
posted by KLAX at 6:43 PM on January 2, 2002

Man, you ain't lived until you've seen Django Fett cuttin' a rug.

I saw the preview for the new Star Wars before LOTR the other day. It made me think about the crowd reaction to the first trailer, namely hooting and hollering and being very very very excited. This trailer sparked a bout of silence and deep introspection, punctuated by the occasional cough, groan, or cry of "Oh no! It's Jar Jar!"

Also, a huge thank you to whoever it was that recommended seeing LOTR on the big screen in Newport Beach. Tasty goodness.
posted by Kafkaesque at 6:55 PM on January 2, 2002

Just keep the Backstreet Boys out of the "The Two Towers." Please.
posted by RakDaddy at 7:10 PM on January 2, 2002

It's one thing to beat a dead horse until it's spam, but it's another thing to try to make the dead horse dance. sad sad sad.
posted by fuq at 7:41 PM on January 2, 2002

As long as they don't break into a chorus of Bye Bye Bye as they get blow'd up. Ugh.
posted by bschoate at 7:55 PM on January 2, 2002

Come on, you guys. They get killed.

If it weren't for Jar Jar and the kid's bad acting, who among us wouldn't give his left nut (figuratively speaking. I suppose I wouldn't Really give up my choice treats) to be in a Star Wars movie?
posted by schlaager at 7:58 PM on January 2, 2002

Everytime you see a EII trailer, boo at thh end. That'll make the suits nervous

...mind you a still plan on seeing it the first day, what kind of a fan-boy do you take me for?
posted by Mick at 8:03 PM on January 2, 2002

As long as Lucas doesn't have the kid who keeps saying "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" in the movie, I can survive it. I think I can survive it, anyway.
posted by Wildcat3 at 8:44 PM on January 2, 2002

This whole mess could be fixed with one scene: Jar Jar Binks taking the boys of N*Sync to browntown. Quickly followed with another scene where are of them are blown to bits by Samuel Jackson's deft use of the Force.
posted by Brilliantcrank at 9:20 PM on January 2, 2002

I've never been a fan of the whole Star Wars thing even though I've seen all the movies. I think the plot stinks, the acting is horrendous, and the dialogue is atrocious. The only feast is for the eyes, as eye-candy is this series' only appeal.

Why do you hate N'Sync so much anyway? The movies are cheese to begin with, and adding the boy band is simply sprinkling a little Parmesan on top. Movies are produced to make money, so don't go complaining when a business tries to maximize profit.

Sure, boycott the movie if you're offended, but don't go complaining, because you only end up sounding like a jealous chump with a bias against those that can get the attention of girls.

Don't be a playa-hater; admire and you may soon follow suite.
posted by Mach3avelli at 9:34 PM on January 2, 2002

Mach, can we ease up on the self-aggrandisement? We all believe that you are a babe-magnet. Let it go.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:37 PM on January 2, 2002

Mach, can we ease up on the self-aggrandisement? We all believe that you are a babe-magnet. Let it go.

<chortle>
posted by KLAX at 10:03 PM on January 2, 2002

Mach3avelli's Profile
Name: Jerome Holeyman
Email: jbirdskillz%40hotmail.com
Location: UC Davis, California/Brussels, Belgium
Zip: 95616
Gender: male, no doubt
AIM: HyperSeduction

He's so manly he can stand in UC Davis and be in Belgium at the same time. All you need now is a better porn name than Hyperseduction.
posted by skallas at 10:29 PM on January 2, 2002

Maybe you'll apologise to the 'true fans' someday if you can manage to get Satan's dick out of your mouth, you capitalist whore, you.

Yeah! Go back to making art films like the first Star Wars movie, George! Back when you didn't do any merchandising or promotional gimmicks.
posted by anildash at 10:29 PM on January 2, 2002

He's so manly he can stand in UC Davis and be in Belgium at the same time. All you need now is a better porn name than Hyperseduction.

skallas, based on the quality of your posts, I'd have expected something a little more clever from you.

<chortle>

KLAX, hmmmm.....nope, that's about the best you can do. Let's keep the dialogue in English, not Geek 2.02.

Anyway, more on Lucas.....he's no genius. People give him too much credit for his work, and they become surprised when he doesn't meet the unrealistic bar they've set fot him.
posted by Mach3avelli at 10:53 PM on January 2, 2002

They can't all be winners ya know.
posted by skallas at 11:10 PM on January 2, 2002

Where does it say that they die?
posted by kingjeff at 2:48 AM on January 3, 2002

KLAX, I don't know what you said back there, but my stupid overpriced japanese dogbot thing is humping my leg now.

It's not even good at it.
posted by dong_resin at 3:16 AM on January 3, 2002

I'm looking forward to this movie, but then I really liked the last one, even with Jar Jar, who's grown on me a bit.
posted by dong_resin at 3:22 AM on January 3, 2002

*NSYNC ain't all bad either, it seems.
posted by dong_resin at 3:26 AM on January 3, 2002

I didn't see Phantom Menace until it came out on DVD and... well... I thought it was actually a better movie than the others in terms of construction, script, acting and those sorts of thing. Sorry. Definitely better than Jedi, probably the edge on the others as well.

(FWIW, I was 12 when the first movie came out over here, so it's not as if it doesn't have its place in my own personal mythopoeia.)

It's interesting to see how Lucas constructs the film to fit with several different concerns (his own idea of how the whole story should be constructed, the need to provide a certain number of set pieces, the need for scenes that will tie in with the associated game and characters that will make good action figures, constantly straddling the line between pomposity and camp). Interesting work (IMHO) comes not from lack of stricture or some notion of creative freedom but rather from a response to specific limitations, and in those terms Phantom Menace tied these very different demands together successfully. I thought.

I mean, what do people expect? If they were given a film with a script, pacing, characterisation and so forth of the original SW movie, it would suck like a black hole.

I'll probably wait for the DVD of the new one too, mainly because I'd prefer not to have to deal with the other audience members living out their Comicbook Guy Worst. Movie. Ever. schtick.

Of course it may actually suck. I'll wait and see.
posted by Grangousier at 3:48 AM on January 3, 2002

Anyway, more on Lucas.....he's no genius. People give him too much credit for his work, and they become surprised when he doesn't meet the unrealistic bar they've set fot him.

Sure he is. He basically invented merchandising, and through Star Wars advanced the sound reproduction in theatres - most didn't have stereo sound until Star Wars. He's by far the most financially successful and (theoretically) independent of the early 70's New Hollywood bunch (Spielberg, Coppola, Hopper, Scorsese, etc.)....his work has changed the way Hollywood works, though not neccessarily for the better.

So it just depends on your criteria. Oh, artistic genius? Hm. Back to bed.
posted by videodrome at 3:53 AM on January 3, 2002

As long as they are shown servicing Jaba the Hutt before they die, I will be ok with it. This is just too much, though. I am speechless. What a crock this whole thing is turning out to be. What makes it so bad is that I seem to be looking for a cool new movie with a 70's or 80's feel and get met with a 90's marketing blitz. Back after Episode One I wouldn't have wanted to see Anakin being played by Leonardo de Crapio, but now I would almost welcome it over that dude they have now.
posted by adampsyche at 5:24 AM on January 3, 2002

The guys will be seen for a fleeting moment in a "big scene with lots of extras.

so, if there hadn't been a press release, no one would have noticed them anyway. what's the big deal? it's not like they're an integral part of the plot and you have to look at/listen to them for two hours. condemning the whole film because you don't like N'Sync? nah, just looking for something else about EpII to bitch about.

besides, it's not a bad idea. guaranteed to sell tickets to the 10 to 15 year old girls who, you'd think, wouldn't be as likely to go to a Star Wars film anyway.
posted by tolkhan at 5:55 AM on January 3, 2002

Yeah! Go back to making art films like the first Star Wars movie, George! Back when you didn't do any merchandising or promotional gimmicks.

Those came out after the movie. Lucas was surprised by how well it did, so there were no action figures planned...although he famously bargained for merchandising rights ahead of time anyway, to the befuddlement of the studio execs.
posted by bingo at 5:56 AM on January 3, 2002

Dear Mr. Lucas: Your cash cow has died. Please quit milking it.

Yeah, really. Why would anyone keep plugging away when the last movie only made $400,000,000 at the domestic box office? You know, I'd sort of hoped MeFi was above petty bitching about children's movies.

posted by aaronetc at 7:39 AM on January 3, 2002

You guys can be real whiny brats. Does this REALLY bother you? I mean, I doubt the saga could get any worse. Why not roll with the punches?

I liked all the Star Wars movies, and I'm still looking forward to more. You really need to lighten up.

Besides, little inside jokes (i.e. a Playboy pin-up in the Millenium Falcon) have been a Star Wars tradition since Episode IV.
posted by Down10 at 12:23 AM on January 4, 2002