"1) What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Starting this homework
JF: What did you put for question 2?
Lizzy: Question 2? Lemme think… yeah, I did a drawing of a sea lion.
JF: Did you?
Lizzy: Yeah. Sea lion in a little hat. Why, what did you put?
JF: Well, we put different things, but not a sea lion in a little hat. Are you sure it wasn’t about the coefficient of friction between a cone and a plane?
Lizzy: Would the answer to that be a sea lion in a little hat?
Luke: Probably not.
Lizzy: Then I don’t think so.
"Do you think people talk about you?" [the psychiatrist] asks in a low, serious tone.
I light up and say "Sure! When I go home, my mother often tells me how she was telling her friends about me." He isn't listening to the explanation; instead, he's writing something down on my paper.
Then again, in a low, serious tone, he says "Do you think people stare at you?"
I'm all ready to say no, when he says, "For instance, do you think any of the boys waiting on the benches are staring at you now?"
So I turn around, an sure enough, two guys are looking. So I point to them and I say, "Yeah -- there's that guy, and that guy over there looking at us." Of course, when I'm turned around and pointing like that, other guys start to look at us, so I say, "Now him, and those other two over there -- an now the whole bunch." He still doesn't look up to check. He's busy writing more things on my paper.
Then he says "Do you ever hear voices in your head?"
"Very rarely," and I'm about to describe the two occasions on which it happened when he says, "Do you talk to yourself?"
"Yeah, sometimes when I'm shaving, or thinking; once in a while."
When he asked me to put out my hands, I couldn't resist pulling a trick a guy in the "bloodsucking line" had told me about. I figured nobody was ever going to get a chance to do this, and as long as I was halfway under water, I would do it. So I put out my hands with one palm up and the other one down.
The psychiatrist doesn't notice. He says, "Turn them over."
I turn them over. The one that was up goes down, and the one that was down goes up, and he still doesn't notice, because he's always looking very closely at one hand to see if it is shaking. So the trick had no effect.
Then at some point near the end he says, "How much do you value life?"
"Why did you say 'sixty-four'?"
"How are you supposed to measure the value of life?"
While I'm waiting in the line, I look at the paper which has the summary of all the tests I've taken so far. And just for the hell of it, I show my paper ot the guy next to me, and I ask him in a rather stupid-sounding voice, "Hey! What did you get in 'Psychiatric?' Oh! You got an 'N.' I got an 'N' in everything else, but I got a 'D' in 'Psychiatric.' What does that mean?" I knew what it meant: "N" is normal, and "D" is deficient.
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