PsychoQuiz!
December 23, 2013 10:00 PM   Subscribe

How Much of a Psychopath Are You? Take the quiz, compare yourself with your friends (or with some historical figures), and see what pets, musical styles and news media are more popular with the more psychopathic.
from Great Britain's Channel 4, which won't tell you how Nigella Lawson scored.
posted by oneswellfoop (128 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
30%, unless I'm one of those lying psychopaths.
posted by davejay at 10:08 PM on December 23, 2013 [15 favorites]


Extremely not psychopathic - a bit disapointing really.
posted by Artw at 10:15 PM on December 23, 2013


We see you, Financial Times readers. We've got our eyes on you.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:16 PM on December 23, 2013 [14 favorites]


39%. I kind of expected to score much lower; I've had a friend for the last several years who routinely scores really disturbingly highly on tests of this sort and the friendship has emphasized to me how different the two of us are, or so I had believed.
posted by protocoach at 10:19 PM on December 23, 2013



67%
Though your conscience is in the right place you also have a pragmatic streak and generally aren’t afraid to do your own dirty work! You’re no shrinking violet - but no daredevil either. You generally have little trouble seeing things from another person’s perspective but, at the same time, are no pushover. ‘Everything in moderation – including moderation’ might sum up your approach to life.
posted by sweetkid at 10:20 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


3%? Apparently not a psychopath at all, but one hell of a mark for a psychopath.
posted by maudlin at 10:20 PM on December 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


So why are the non-psychopaths so drawn to cats, the most psychopath-like of pets?

Also I got the same writeup as sweet kid at 36%. Hmmm.
posted by Artw at 10:21 PM on December 23, 2013 [8 favorites]


So why are the non-psychopaths so drawn to cats, the most psychopath-like of pets?

As I said above, we're the perfect marks for psychopaths.
posted by maudlin at 10:23 PM on December 23, 2013 [40 favorites]


I got 67% that's almost hitler! And more'n thatcher wtf
posted by sweetkid at 10:26 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


33% "You are warm and empathic with a heightened awareness of social responsibility and a strong sense of conscience. You like to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of a situation before you act and are generally averse to taking risks. You are very much a ‘people person’ and dislike conflict. ‘Do unto others…’ are your watchwords. But, although you avoid hurting others, those residing at the higher end of the psychopathic spectrum might not be as considerate, so stay vigilant to avoid being hurt unnecessarily."

Well, for psychopaths, it could be ‘Do unto others… as often as you can, bwahahaha.’
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 PM on December 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


45% and the same writeup as sweetkid.

I prefer dogs because the "contrary and inexplicable" spot in the household belongs to me, damnit.
posted by cmyk at 10:28 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


70%. It's that 3 years I spent in HR, isn't it?
posted by arcticseal at 10:30 PM on December 23, 2013 [21 favorites]


Is it part of the test to measure how long it takes you to murder someone when it refuses to give you your results?
posted by elizardbits at 10:31 PM on December 23, 2013 [9 favorites]


Oh

82%

welp
posted by elizardbits at 10:33 PM on December 23, 2013 [25 favorites]


61%. I'm a middle of the road psychopath!
posted by oceanjesse at 10:34 PM on December 23, 2013


So basically the sole thing holding me back from pure sociopathy is the fact that I will stop and hug every single puppy I see.
posted by elizardbits at 10:36 PM on December 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


27%, but I should be much higher. There are certain areas like 'sponeneity'/lack of planning where I just tip the scales. The Psychopath Test was a fun read.
posted by Golden Eternity at 10:41 PM on December 23, 2013


18%, please don't take advantage of me.
posted by pwally at 10:42 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


elizardbits, i'm 18%. we should hang out and make a whole psychopath between us.
posted by MoonOrb at 10:44 PM on December 23, 2013 [6 favorites]


You and pwally will be the patsys for my next fiendish scheme
posted by elizardbits at 10:44 PM on December 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


So basically the sole thing holding me back from pure sociopathy is the fact that I will stop and hug every single puppy I see.

We've been meaning to tell you that hugging is generally done with ones arms around another's body, it typically doesn't involve hands and throats.
posted by vorpal bunny at 10:46 PM on December 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


3%? Apparently not a psychopath at all, but one hell of a mark for a psychopath.

I got 9%. I think it's because I would never dream of going skydiving. I also don't make quick decisions. I also avoid conflict (except, of course, on MetaFilter).
posted by KokuRyu at 10:47 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


sometimes i boop their noses with my nose
posted by elizardbits at 10:47 PM on December 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


18%
posted by parki at 10:53 PM on December 23, 2013


15%

hm, i should try and be more psychopathic
posted by solarion at 11:02 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


18%. Call me Milquetoast.
posted by mykescipark at 11:04 PM on December 23, 2013


12% Tragic.
posted by marvin at 11:06 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also 33%. It would have been lower but for thrill-seeking stuff and coolness under pressure.

Anyway, it's a relief to learn I'm not a psychopath, what with the murderous plotting and such.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:08 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


24%! I find that respectably iffy.
posted by sundaydriver at 11:09 PM on December 23, 2013


I got a 0% but I lied on all the questions.
posted by empath at 11:09 PM on December 23, 2013 [12 favorites]


      12


             3

         6
      9

posted by Artw at 11:16 PM on December 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm not surprised at the low scores (well, I expected mine to be over 40%), but I consider MetaFilter to be one of the Web's LEAST psychopath-friendly places on the web... but most of our highest-profile MeFites haven't reported in yet, and I noticed a couple of our psychos-in-exile have new accounts, so that average may yet rise...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:20 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Puppy but no dog? Kitten but no cat? No "some college"?

More seriously, I wonder how much the scale alters the results. There were a few that I would have liked to pick a "middle" answer.

30% - Heavy metal likely did me in.

Currency conversion USD to Euro.
posted by vapidave at 11:22 PM on December 23, 2013


I got 24%, because I was honest about things like thinking I might be good at leading people/taking charge in a dangerous situation, even though I knew it was driving my score up.

Kind of funny that they didn't even try to conceal which was the "right" answer, meaning that a real psychopath would probably score zero- because they excel at manipulating things that are easy to manipulate.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:23 PM on December 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I hate it when people mix up "psychopath" and "sociopath".
posted by Sara C. at 11:30 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thank goodness animals being hurt bothers me so much; I too would not want to see my score without that strong disagree.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:36 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Are they not synonyms?
posted by Artw at 11:37 PM on December 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Huh, I just looked it up, and they actually are.

Now I feel really stupid.

I always thought a psychopath was someone who suffered from psychosis.

Nevermind. Continue with your antisocial behaviors and poor impulse controls.

I'll just be sitting over here, only 33% psycho/sociopathic, bein rong on the internet.
posted by Sara C. at 11:42 PM on December 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


I knew it! Never trust anyone with an aquarium.
posted by steganographia at 11:43 PM on December 23, 2013 [10 favorites]


We all know that everyone thinks that psychopaths like cats. Therefore all the alleged non-psychopathic cat lovers are clearly lying psychopaths.
posted by pianissimo at 11:45 PM on December 23, 2013


30% unless I'm kidding myself.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:51 PM on December 23, 2013


12%. Too sooky for my own good, which sounds about right. I got Hitler right though.
posted by Athanassiel at 11:54 PM on December 23, 2013


42% (I think - I got distracted by breakfast)

Why the random shot at Nigella Lawson, btw?
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 12:00 AM on December 24, 2013


18% and I didn't even tell them about the cats.
posted by Anitanola at 12:04 AM on December 24, 2013


(I went to Channel 4's homepage after the quiz, saw her show being featured - and no other identifiable celebrity - and thought it appropriately non-sequitur)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:05 AM on December 24, 2013


33%, so pretty on-par with others. I hope someone totals and averages these metafilter answers, that would be interesting.
posted by annsunny at 12:21 AM on December 24, 2013


Is "psychopathy" an actual condition identified by the DSM? I think psychopathy and sociopathy are for all intents and purposes interchangeable.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:24 AM on December 24, 2013


Why are they telling me that psychopaths like fish more?

How can you have no feelings when you look at that little faaaaaace.
posted by Katemonkey at 12:26 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


There seems to be a spike of answers getting 18% - very strange. That's what I got too, which surprised me.

The text said that I was a people person, which is base slander. I would sue, but doing so would involve speaking to other people, so...
posted by YAMWAK at 12:52 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


52%

My score might have been higher, except that I'm a sucker for animals. And I'm way too defensive -- whenever a question asks something like, "is it the victim's fault if they get conned?" or "is it OK to step over people to get ahead?" I always think, HEY BUDDY WHO YOU TRYING TO CON AND STEP OVER HUH? NOPE. NEGATIVE. and mark a big old "disagree."
posted by rue72 at 1:12 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


How can you have no feelings when you look at that little faaaaaace.

Oh hai!
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 1:32 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


30% here too.
posted by Fence at 1:47 AM on December 24, 2013


73% but it's a pretty lame internet test IMHO. Did the first-test thingy clinical one for sociopathy once and also came very close to the "dangerous" zone 18 of 30 or something like that. I fail because I have insane amounts of empathy, had great nurturing all my life and am not very charismatic. I win at zero morals and criminal inclinations.
posted by ZeroAmbition at 1:48 AM on December 24, 2013


12%. Which, though it's an internet quiz, explains some things.
posted by professor plum with a rope at 1:58 AM on December 24, 2013


Is this to be an empathy test? Capillary dilation of the so-called blush response...fluctuation of the pupil...involuntary dilation of the iris?

If so, then let me tell you about my mother.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:09 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


67% -- Though your conscience is in the right place you also have a pragmatic streak and generally aren’t afraid to do your own dirty work! You’re no shrinking violet - but no daredevil either. You generally have little trouble seeing things from another person’s perspective but, at the same time, are no pushover. ‘Everything in moderation – including moderation’ might sum up your approach to life.

Me protest! I may be a bit tough but soft on the inside ... I swear
posted by Azaadistani at 2:09 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


I got stuck at the first question. “You rarely catch me making any plans, I’m far too spontaneous.”

It is indeed rare to catch me making any plans, but not because I am too spontaneous. I cannot agree with the statement, I cannot disagree with it. Normally I would just score this in the middle and move on, but they only give 4 options. I cannot pick one, therefore I cannot continue.

So, how do I score?
posted by DreamerFi at 2:20 AM on December 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


I actually once had an hour long discussion about these kind of questions with somebody who tried to make me do a personality test in preparation of some training - I eventually gave up and started giving random answers. The guy still insisted the test results had meaning
posted by DreamerFi at 2:22 AM on December 24, 2013


Yeah, the questions are always a problem especially when you're an over-thinker. Also highly hypothetical at times. "Would I cheat on a partner if I knew I would get away with it?" Sure. But then in RL I would probably have told a partner what I think of monogamy at length from the start, so unlikely to really happen this way.
posted by ZeroAmbition at 2:27 AM on December 24, 2013


36%

I suspect - hope! - most of that is down to the fact I have no emotional feelings about animals until they're food or clothing. (This seems a perfectly reasonable position to me, but people really do seem to think you're an inhuman monster if you don't gurgle with glee every time you see a dog.)
posted by jack_mo at 2:59 AM on December 24, 2013


Bonus question:

There's nothing like

(a) spring flowers
(b) a child's laughter
(c) the sky at dawn
(d) rain water from the Top End
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:11 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wouldn't a true psychopath know how not to answer?
posted by nevercalm at 3:17 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


Here's more fun: the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale
posted by Vibrissae at 3:26 AM on December 24, 2013


0%. Although that's because I'm a psychopath who preys on other psychopaths.
posted by fullerine at 3:49 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


I may be a bit tough but soft on the inside.

Hold still, you're getting marinade everywhere.
posted by arcticseal at 3:52 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


15%
Almost as psychopathic as a marshmallow.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:41 AM on December 24, 2013


"0%. Although that's because I'm a psychopath who preys on other psychopaths."

Apparently, that may make you a police officer
posted by cjmchampton at 5:06 AM on December 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


12%, not a psychopath but:

You are warm and empathic with a heightened awareness of social responsibility

hahahahaha
posted by capricorn at 5:17 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Other people have talked about the methodological problems with this test; let me pile on the weakness in their 'scores' of historical people.

No way Hitler scored under the odds on 'fearlessness'. Hitler literally didn't understand the concept of physical fear. During WWI he volunteered for the most dangerous job he could get and won a medal for bravery. He repeatedly antagonised just about everybody then drove around the place in open-topped cars. He stood in a room in which a bomb went off, shredding some of his closest advisers, and concluded that he lesson he should take from this was that he was invincible. Famously, as the Soviets advanced through Berlin, he still assumed that it would all turn around in his favour.

Hitler was a stone-cold psychopath: a habitual criminal incapable of fitting into society unless he was in charge; who adored, but was never fulfilled by, the adulation of crowds; was incapable of developing close emotional attachments to anyone; flew into violent rages which just as quickly dissipated and; to put it delicately, had a bit of a murdering problem. About the only non-psychopathic thing about him was that he was notoriously good at following through on his plans.

I'm a little iffy on some of their other historical choices as well, but they got Hitler so wrong that all my other objections seem a little irrelevant.
posted by Dreadnought at 5:17 AM on December 24, 2013 [12 favorites]


61%: Not too shabby, but I need a ways to go to improve myself.
posted by Renoroc at 5:24 AM on December 24, 2013


Vibrissae: "Here's more fun: the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale"

Also interesting, but I was a little put out by their follow-up question "would you support brining back the monarchy?". Is this scale just broken in, like, one out of every three countries?
posted by Dreadnought at 5:24 AM on December 24, 2013


I suspect their javascript was designed by a psychopath : The final button does not work after you answer all the questions due to cross site scripting. And they make it impossible to find the appropriate url to whitelist without restarting their silly quiz.
posted by jeffburdges at 5:35 AM on December 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


How can I be so bitter and cynical and only score 27%?
posted by JanetLand at 5:51 AM on December 24, 2013


33%
Real psychopaths know which answers to pick to disguise their psycopathy
posted by Flashman at 5:56 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


33%, like the rest of the Guardian readers.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 6:01 AM on December 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm a little iffy on some of their other historical choices as well, but they got Hitler so wrong that all my other objections seem a little irrelevant.

A common problem with applying IQ or psychopathy or aspergers tests to historical figures is that the people who apply the tests are often non-historians who seem to over-estimate their knowledge of the historical figures in question.

Also, a lot of these "ratings" for historical figures seem to me to include disguised value judgements. For example, with Thatcher, why is her narcissism score so low? Someone who disliked her could easily see extraordinary self-involvement in her incredible ambition and her absolute certainty that she was right. Her "coldness" score seems very low for someone so comfortable with having others suffer for the sake of her political ideology. And so on. It's all a bit iffy and pseudo-scientific to me - courting controversy to draw attention to a TV series rather than doing anything genuinely educational.
posted by lucien_reeve at 6:11 AM on December 24, 2013


27% but only cause of roller coasters and lying to myself.
posted by Hobgoblin at 6:20 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Another 3 percent here. A therapist once told me that having all this social anxiety and worrying constantly about doing the right thing meant that I was basically the opposite of a psychopath. "There are worse things than being anxious," she said. I guess that was an effort to be comforting?

I am kind of fascinated by psychopaths, though, having read oodles of books on them. Interesting you should mention that, nevercalm--apparently one thing that psychopaths excel at is gaming tests like this one.
posted by whistle pig at 6:40 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


So basically the sole thing holding me back from pure sociopathy is the fact that I will stop and hug every single puppy I see.

Isn't that how you passed the Voight-Kampff test?
posted by griphus at 6:54 AM on December 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


15% and I have been the victim of several psychopaths in my time. They are more prevalent than I had thought and HARD to spot sometimes. Needless to say, my battered good intentions are much more carefully handled now and I have trust issues, but hope I am better at spotting them earlier.
posted by claptrap at 7:13 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


3% and now I'm wondering about all you people. It must be the spontaneity angle that's making you all score so high, right?

Also, Guardian readers represent!
posted by jokeefe at 7:20 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Would I cheat on a partner if I knew I would get away with it?" Sure. But then in RL I would probably have told a partner what I think of monogamy at length from the start, so unlikely to really happen this way.

If you tell your partner that you aren't monogamous and that you will be having sexual contacts with other people, it's not cheating, really (assuming you are informing them of your other partners).
posted by jokeefe at 7:23 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also interesting, but I was a little put out by their follow-up question "would you support brining back the monarchy?". Is this scale just broken in, like, one out of every three countries?

I'd be pretty hard-pressed to find a part of the world that had never been under the rule of a hereditary leader. Granted, in Switzerland that might mean bringing back the Roman emperors, but still.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:26 AM on December 24, 2013


36%, which is happily a little lower than I expected, but this was pretty accurate:
Though your conscience is in the right place you also have a pragmatic streak and generally aren’t afraid to do your own dirty work! You’re no shrinking violet - but no daredevil either. You generally have little trouble seeing things from another person’s perspective but, at the same time, are no pushover. ‘Everything in moderation – including moderation’ might sum up your approach to life.
Then again, I usually fit the typical description of Pisces, so it's possible these are written in such a way that it's easy to see yourself in them. I do think it mirrors my participation here, FWIW.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:26 AM on December 24, 2013


21%. (But I can be pretty ruthless about dealing with psychopaths--haven't spoken to my father in years.)
posted by saulgoodman at 7:27 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


And I know it's just an internet test and all, but I wouldn't even want to be friends with somebody who thought it was okay to step on other people to realize their ambitions or that people who are conned deserve it. Herm.
posted by jokeefe at 7:27 AM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


So the least psychopathic among us are cat lovers! I've always been judgy about non-cat-people - if you don't like cats, something's wrong with you - and now I am VINDICATED!

(I'm at 25%, and I'm a cat person.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:29 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


This suggests ability to estimate risk (with respect to external activities and one's capabilities). I'm just too cowardly to be a psychopath. Or too old.

By the same measure, all small children and teen boys are psychopaths.
posted by bad grammar at 7:34 AM on December 24, 2013


That's why no one under 16 is allowed to take the test. They'd all score as psychopaths.
posted by saulgoodman at 7:43 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


27, what a surprise.

But I call BS. This seems more a scale of swagger and aggression. I've known some pretty mild mannered psychos in my time.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:47 AM on December 24, 2013


18%

"While your crippling anxiety may seem like a burden, it often prevents you from impinging upon others. Fortunately, psychopaths won't be able to take advantage of you if you keep not answering the phone or leaving the house."

Nailed it!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:57 AM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm a little disappointed. Only 48% psychopath. I guess that means I can go mad Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, if I understand this instrument properly.
posted by Mister_A at 8:02 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


It has more to do with impulse-control than aggression, I think, IndigoJones. Psychopaths have very poor impulse control. If they get an impulse to hurt someone, they do it before they even stop to think about it. Psychopathy in particular--as opposed to other anti-social disorders--is characterized by impulsive hurtful behavior toward others. If they're mild-mannered and evil, that might be something else.
posted by saulgoodman at 8:03 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


18% but I prefer to think of myself as 82% not psychopathic.
posted by mcstayinskool at 8:09 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


55%

Fear me!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 8:27 AM on December 24, 2013


15% Yay!
posted by rcraniac at 8:28 AM on December 24, 2013


And I know it's just an internet test and all, but I wouldn't even want to be friends with somebody who thought it was okay to step on other people to realize their ambitions or that people who are conned deserve it. Herm.

You've never spent time in the music industry, I see.
posted by mykescipark at 8:30 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


33%

Also, Katniss.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:41 AM on December 24, 2013


Most of the questions could just have easily said, "On a scale of one to four, how much of a psychopath are you?"

Real psych tests are more robust than this and can provide useful information even when given to someone trying to game them, right?
posted by jsturgill at 8:54 AM on December 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


36%, which is happily a little lower than I expected, but this was pretty accurate:

Though your conscience is in the right place you also have a pragmatic streak and generally aren’t afraid to do your own dirty work! You’re no shrinking violet - but no daredevil either. You generally have little trouble seeing things from another person’s perspective but, at the same time, are no pushover. ‘Everything in moderation – including moderation’ might sum up your approach to life.


It's accurate because it's written like a textbook example of the rainbow ruse in cold reading.
The rainbow ruse is a crafted statement which simultaneously awards the subject with a specific personality trait, as well as the opposite of that trait. With such a phrase, a cold reader can "cover all possibilities" and appear to have made an accurate deduction in the mind of the subject, despite the fact that a rainbow ruse statement is vague and contradictory. This technique is used since personality traits are not quantifiable, and also because nearly everybody has experienced both sides of a particular emotion at some time in their lives.

Statements of this type might include:

"Most of the time you are positive and cheerful, but there has been a time in the past when you were very upset."
"You are a very kind and considerate person, but when somebody does something to break your trust, you feel deep-seated anger."
"I would say that you are mostly shy and quiet, but when the mood strikes you, you can easily become the center of attention."

A cold reader can choose from a variety of personality traits, think of its opposite, and then bind the two together in a phrase, vaguely linked by factors such as mood, time, or potential.
posted by jaduncan at 9:05 AM on December 24, 2013 [8 favorites]


KokoRyu: Is "psychopathy" an actual condition identified by the DSM? I think psychopathy and sociopathy are for all intents and purposes interchangeable.

The problem with the DSM's definition for antisocial personality disorder is that with the phenomenological turn in the late-1970s, it's been heavily biased towards external observations of behaviors taken from sociological and criminological definitions from people like Lee Robins. It has very little to say about the internal world of ASPDers. It's heavily class- and culturally biased. It has selection bias in that it only tends to screen in the impulsive ASPDers, and those that play the "antisocial role" as culturally defined. It fails spectacularly to screen in the most successful psychopaths, ones with good awareness of others' feeling states, an ability to modulate or delay their narcissistic rages, and a well-developed sense of when it's contingent to deploy utilitarian moralistic sublimation.

The much-ballyhooed "empathic deficit" is just one aspect of a psychopath's experience of themselves (and one that's exhibited by lots of extremely maladaptive personality characters). ASPDers also tend to experience a delight in the fantasy of omnipotent control and magical thinking, a similar delight in beating the rules for engagement with others, ego grandiosity and loosely anchored emotional sensibility. None of these traits are well captured by the DSM's checklist, and I find in practice they are much more common than expected.
posted by meehawl at 9:07 AM on December 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


I think there is something a bit sociopathic about the need to categorize people this way, to be honest.
posted by empath at 9:09 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's accurate because it's written like a textbook example of the rainbow ruse in cold reading.

Yes, I went on to say Then again, I usually fit the typical description of Pisces, so it's possible these are written in such a way that it's easy to see yourself in them.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:15 AM on December 24, 2013


This is an awful test. This is just a test to see if you can pass an Internet test.

Nice Pete could pass this test.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 10:00 AM on December 24, 2013


And I know it's just an internet test and all, but I wouldn't even want to be friends with somebody who thought it was okay to step on other people to realize their ambitions or that people who are conned deserve it. Herm.

You've never spent time in the music industry, I see.


Only tangentially. I've spent/spend a lot of time with classical musicians, but I'm not sure that counts?
posted by jokeefe at 10:06 AM on December 24, 2013


I think there is something a bit sociopathic about the need to categorize people this way, to be honest.

Well, I guess somebody got an uncomfortably high score...

But more seriously, yeah, this test smells like a big pile o' bunk.
posted by saulgoodman at 10:19 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Famously, as the Soviets advanced through Berlin, he still assumed that it would all turn around in his favour.

I was recalling things along these lines during the final moments of the last US presidential election when it became clear that Romney had not bothered to prepare a concession speech.
posted by elizardbits at 10:27 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


Apparently motion sickness leads to reduced incidence of psychopathy.
posted by humanfont at 10:41 AM on December 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


But more seriously, yeah, this test smells like a big pile o' bunk.

No kidding. The questions are vague to say the least. Apparently, keeping a cool head during a crisis is a sign of having Anti-Social Personality Disorder (if that is what the quiz-makers mean by "psychopath") and not the sign you have dealt with crises before and learned to control those selfish panicky reactions and be of use to people.

There is no utility with this pseudo-psychological test, but I think it became trendy to see oneself as a "psychopath" or "sociopath" after Sherlock's "A Study in Pink" episode. You may be an empty-headed, shallow and selfish dweeb desperate to have an "edge", but that doesn't make you a psychopath, just easy to manipulate.

This time-waster was probably a Cosmo or blogthings reject...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 10:47 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


About the only non-psychopathic thing about him was that he was notoriously good at following through on his plans.


He was also very fond of dogs.



Nice Pete could pass this test.


Nice Pete would probably not complete the test. If you could even get the concept of a computer-generated test through to him and convince him that there was not some doctor actually observing the results and trying to "physik" him over the telegraph-wires, he would likely fly into a rage at the presumption of the roller-coaster question.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:58 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


42%

42...

42!?!

REALLY!?!?

= /

So, I openly mock roller coasters for not pulling enough G's...

That's doesn't make me so bad, does it?
posted by PROD_TPSL at 11:24 AM on December 24, 2013


I always thought a psychopath was someone who suffered from psychosis.

That'd be a "psychotic" wouldn't it?
posted by saulgoodman at 11:57 AM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Vibrissae's link to a test using the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale is interesting. Be warned, though, it asks if it can ask a number of other questions and that leads to some marketing survey stuff.

Anyway, I found this more meaningful than the post's quiz:
The LSRP measures two scales.

Scores range from 1 (low) to 5 (high).

Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 1.6. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations. Your score for primary psychopathy was higher than 25.79% of people who have taken this test.

Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 3. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 71.45% of people who have taken this test.
That seems much more accurate. From the accompanying graph, it looks like most people cluster around scoring about 2 on both.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 1:39 PM on December 24, 2013


I wonder if this is market research for writing ads for the various newspapers listed in the demographic information section at the end.
posted by kadonoishi at 2:07 PM on December 24, 2013


Anyway, I found this more meaningful than the post's quiz:

The LSRP measures two scales.


Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 3. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations. You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 75.61% of people who have taken this test.

Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 3.7. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior. You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 90.6% of people who have taken this test.

But I'm actually not a psychopath! I care about people! I'm just a pragmatist who's good at rolling with the punches and doesn't do well with "authority." And I'm good at sales -- a lot of these questions seemed oriented to how good someone is at sales.

It would be interesting to see a comparison of the results from people who have a family history of incarceration v. people who don't, though race (and possibly class/income?) would probably have to be controlled for as a confounding variable.
posted by rue72 at 2:25 PM on December 24, 2013


I got 42% on the first quiz, and 2.1/1.6 for the second quiz that Ivan Vibrissae linked above.

Apparently, I am a nice person.

I knew this already.
posted by sonic meat machine at 3:09 PM on December 24, 2013


Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 3. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations.

Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 2.4. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior.

You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 75.61% of people who have taken this test.

You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 44.28% of people who have taken this test.


I always thought I was a nice guy, but just didn't have any friends. I must have answered some of the questions wrong.

Anyone have an extra kitten around that I can feed my piranha?
posted by Mojojojo at 3:31 PM on December 24, 2013


It occurs to me that we might get more accurate answers if we let our ex-partners fill out the quiz for us.
posted by davejay at 4:40 PM on December 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hm. 2.1/2.5 on that other linked text, pretty much dead-average. I'm okay with this.
posted by davejay at 4:44 PM on December 24, 2013


A friend showed me a good trick for these tests: Try to score as high as possible. Don't answer the questions for yourself, answer them for the stereotypical "x" in a test called "Are you 'x'? This test is bunk because it's too easy to score high, you subconsciously know what they're looking for so you go against it. The test isn't a test to see if you're a psychopath, it's a test to see how well you can convince yourself and others that you're not a psychopath, regardless of you being one one or not.
posted by Philipschall at 5:00 PM on December 24, 2013


Your score from primary psychopathy has been calculated as 1.1. Primary psychopathy is the affective aspects of psychopathy; a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations. 

Your score from secondary psychopathy has been calculated as 1.6. Secondary psychopathy is the antisocial aspects of psychopathy; rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior. 
 
You score for primary psychopathy was higher than 3.19% of people who have taken this test. 

You score for secondary psychopathy was higher than 9.61% of people who have taken this test. 


Either I'm definitely not a psychopath or I'm such a massive psychopath I've even got myself fooled, because I did answer as honestly as I could.
posted by saulgoodman at 6:53 PM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm going to be a bit of a spoilsport, here. A test as vague as this reflects little beyond the Barnum effect. The recent tendency to label a great many people as psychopaths dilutes the concept of psychopathy to uselessness. If highly functional individuals can be defined as psychopaths, then we have no way to characterize the truly ill. In my opinion, it serves only to sell books and obtain speaking engagements. But maybe this test is actually measuring my humorlessness.

For the record, I scored 15 percent, a result that I think would surprise those that know me, to whom I think I read as rather cold. Oh, and I think using the terms "puppy/kitten" instead of "dog/cat," while the other animals are presented in adult form is sloppy. Quizzes are fun, though; carry on.
posted by Morrigan at 7:17 PM on December 24, 2013


I'm going to be a bit of a spoilsport, here

I think we were all mostly having a bit of fun with this test and a lot of people have pointed out its issues.
posted by sweetkid at 10:00 PM on December 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Addendum:

Which of the following would you prefer?

a) a puppy
b) a flower from your sweetie
c) a large, properly formatted data file
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:09 AM on December 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I like how for Occupation they distinguish between "Banker" and "Banker (City of London)".
posted by yoHighness at 7:56 AM on December 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's sort of like the difference between "petty thief" and "plunderer of nations".
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 9:33 AM on December 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


They didn't list horses.

psychopaths like horses. Not mules tough. And vice versa.

Anyhow, I'm not like that anymore.
posted by mule98J at 1:33 AM on December 26, 2013


It said I"m a dork.
posted by stormpooper at 8:18 AM on December 27, 2013


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