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Lake Monsters of North America
December 26, 2013 1:48 PM   Subscribe

American myths and mystery allisonmeier "You'll see a good share of serpent-like animals of the Loch Ness Monsters variety, such as Isabella of Bear Lake in Idaho who was spotted by a Mormon pioneer in the 19th century and even had Brigham Young himself send a hunting party after the possible plesiosaur. There's also the famed Champ of Lake Champlain, possibly the most famous of American lake monsters, and the Lake Dillon monster in Wyoming that some think is being suppressed by a secret society."
posted by naight (28 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
It's worth noting that Vermont's minor league baseball team is called the Lake Monsters.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:08 PM on December 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hmm, your title mentions "North America" and the map is of the US. The first monster I thought of was Ogopogo.

Something my wife was watching the other day mentioned Kelowna and I had to chime in "I've been there!" I didn't see the monster though.
posted by Foosnark at 2:12 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lake Winnipeg has one, too. I forget the name. There was even a sighting once by a giant group of people.

Yes. I know they all convinced themselves they saw a monster when it was the bloated corpse of a sturgeon or a log. Bit these stories have legs. Or coils. Or something.
posted by clvrmnky at 2:16 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dillon Lake is a resevior in Colorado and obviously a fake. The true Wyoming Lake Monster is Smetty who resides in DeSmet Lake. Beneath the surface of this lake are unmapped natural caverns which are seemingly bottomless and which go on for at least several miles.
posted by humanfont at 2:20 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


i think the proliferation of cameraphones really killed whatever holdover there was from the late 90s cryptozoology faze.

cuz for real, where's that footage.
posted by young_son at 2:20 PM on December 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


The only time I've ever done a spit take in real like was when we were flipping through the channels on cable and came upon "Bigfoot Hunters" or some such show where they purport to be searching for the Sasquatch, which, yeah, if one was found, we wouldn't need a basic cable to tell us about it -- it'd be all over YouTube in 30 seconds. Anyway, just as I took a sip of water, the host looks out over the landscape before him and solemnly says, "Yeah, it's lookin' real squatchy in all directions."
posted by Rock Steady at 2:27 PM on December 26, 2013 [26 favorites]


Anyway, just as I took a sip of water, the host looks out over the landscape before him and solemnly says, "Yeah, it's lookin' real squatchy in all directions."

Well hell, how else but solemnly would you say that?
posted by mcstayinskool at 2:29 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Guys spell Ogopogo backwards
Oh I JUST DID
posted by Beardman at 3:03 PM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


i think the proliferation of cameraphones really killed whatever holdover there was from the late 90s cryptozoology faze.

When I was a kid I was deathly afraid of aliens. Just looking at the book cover of Communion would give me nightmares for a week.

As an adult I love to stir that same fear by looking at real videos of real aliens. They are all over youtube. No matter your pleasure - ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot, demons - it is there. The mythology is even expanding with videos of slenderman. So, the incontrovertible proof is there if you are silly enough to believe.
posted by munchingzombie at 3:11 PM on December 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm glad Michigan's aquatic lynx monster made the list. We're pretty proud of it.
posted by acrasis at 3:11 PM on December 26, 2013


There is only one true lake monster, and in 1979, it tried to kill President Jimmy Carter.
posted by Freen at 3:42 PM on December 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


The Illiama Lake Monster seems plausible enough. The story about it dragging the floatplane is amusing either way.
posted by planetesimal at 3:46 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was looking over an Internet radio service someone had built to power a wifi radio gizmo they were selling, and they were making a big thing about the way they'd got thousands of online radio stations into categories and made a big directory of it all.

Which was good, right? So I looked in the Science section, which had hundreds of entries. Very exciting (really!), as y'know, if you like science and you like radio there's not that much of it about. And here were hundreds! A whole new world to explore! I never knew!

Excitement did not last. They were all, bar maybe five, about UFOs and Sasquatch and Bigfoot and Real Ghosts and lake monsters... hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of Internet streams (not radio stations, not really) . I listened to a couple, and yeah, there they were.

I'm a cynical old coot, but this got past the defences. I'm still not sure whether people actually believe this, or are just happy to suspend disbelief for it, or whether it's just comic-book, or what. But it ain't science.
posted by Devonian at 3:49 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lake Merritt, home to the toughest mother****n Lake Monster out there.. Oaktown inna hizzouse, bizzles!
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:14 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love the drawings accompanying the article. They look like those horrible creatures you find on maps from the 1600s or one of those Ye Olde Guides To Fauna Of Yurrop And Other Parts Of The Known World.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 4:47 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: it's lookin' real squatchy in all directions.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 4:58 PM on December 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


It seems fitting that Kentucky would have a giant eel pig.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:26 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


CHAMP IS A PICTURE OF A LOG.

NESSIE IS A TOY SUBMARINE WITH A HEAD MADE OUT OF PLASTIC WOOD.

OGOPOGO IS A PLESIOSAUR --
A [BLEEP] PLESIOSAUR.

posted by mikelieman at 6:20 PM on December 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Champ
posted by vers at 6:29 PM on December 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Silver Lake Sea Serpent!
posted by newdaddy at 8:47 PM on December 26, 2013


Let me just say that the reason why anybody remembers the Silver Lake Sea Serpent is because of the work of western New York's fabulous local historian, Arch Merrill. The story about Silver Lake can be found in his collection Tomahawks And Old Lace.
posted by newdaddy at 8:56 PM on December 26, 2013


cuz for real, where's that footage.

I see someone has never watched "Fact or Faked" - my brother-in-law to this day refuses to sleep on our couch, in our living room with the sliding glass doors that overlooks the deep, dark wood behind our house, when we made him watch the Nightcrawlers episode with us for teh lulz.

Such lulz were had!

He sleeps in our kid's room, and our kid kicks, snuggles and kick-snuggles with us for a sleepless 8 hours. Worth it. LOL.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:31 PM on December 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


i loved seeing those image stabilized versions of classic crypotozoo stuff that were viral a little while back. its like "ahhhhhh.... yes, i see now"

"bigfoot":http://i.imgur.com/wHJRTVe.gif
posted by young_son at 3:55 AM on December 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


young_son: "bigfoot":http://i.imgur.com/wHJRTVe.gif

I mean, at least try and walk a little squatchy, right?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:19 AM on December 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I mean, at least try and walk a little squatchy, right?

Am I the only one who imagines a [squatch...squatch...squatch] sound with every step?
posted by doctornecessiter at 9:23 AM on December 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Chippewa Falls has Glen Lock and the Glen Lock monster, Eau Claire has the Paul Bunion museum, and Rhinelander has the Hodag. Paul and the Hodag tend to stay out of the water.
posted by rough ashlar at 10:18 AM on December 27, 2013


See also the short story collection North American Lake Monsters http://weirdfictionreview.com/2013/10/north-american-lake-monsters/ by Nathan Ballingrud http://nathanballingrud.wordpress.com/‎
posted by asfuller at 11:10 AM on December 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


young_son: "i think the proliferation of cameraphones really killed whatever holdover there was from the late 90s cryptozoology faze.

cuz for real, where's that footage.
"

I mentioned this recently here on the blue (regarding UFOs), and the counter proposed was "but those have such low quality, and take so long to get out, that probably no one will ever capture a UFO on one!".

Yeah, right. My 8-Mpxl phone camera with noise suppression, autofocus, and autoexposure is much, much harder to operate than a Kodak film camera.

However, the type of person who believes in Nessie shares something in common with the type of person who believes Obama wasn't born in this country: no finite amount of evidence will ever sway them.
posted by IAmBroom at 3:15 PM on December 27, 2013


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