Patrick Stewart On Mooing Like a British Cow.
January 1, 2014 3:49 AM   Subscribe

Patrick Stewart On Mooing Like a British Cow. Also explains regional differences for NPR's How To Do Everything podcast.
posted by feelinglistless (36 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite

 
Love it. "We do that mainly to confuse Americans". Dammit, Sir Pat, you gave it away!
posted by Decani at 4:06 AM on January 1


Great stuff! Sir Patrick is such a class act. Though I was confused by this:

"I assume these cows voted for him"

I thought all cows in Britain would be working class? Can anyone confirm?

In Australia, I'm sure most cows are against the horrible practice of live stock exports, so they would have to be strong supporters of the Greens? (example policy)
posted by greenhornet at 5:08 AM on January 1


I thought all cows in Britain would be working class? Can anyone confirm?

My uncle is a British cow, and I can tell you Christmas dinners are really awkward with him spouting all manner of conservative nonsense. Also, because he poops in the house.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 5:13 AM on January 1 [20 favorites]


In Australia, I'm sure most cows are against the horrible practice of live stock exports, so they would have to be strong supporters of the Greens?

Or they might just vote against their own interests, like a lot of humans do.

If the majority of the cowsmedia is controlled by Rupert Moo-doch, they would be bombarded with propaganda about the Tories' record hay surplus and how the evil socialists want to take it away and open our borders to scary foreign cows with nasty-looking horns. Also, nobody ever returns from the slaughterhouse, so they could just be told that they're going to retirement on a holiday island of some sort, only realising the terrible truth once there is no way back.
posted by acb at 5:23 AM on January 1 [5 favorites]


DO I LOOK WORKING CLASS?
posted by Lanark at 5:26 AM on January 1 [2 favorites]


They live on estates in the country and do nothing but eat and hang around with each other.
posted by Segundus at 5:37 AM on January 1 [7 favorites]


If the majority of the cowsmedia is controlled by Rupert Moo-doch, they would be bombarded with propaganda about the Tories' record hay surplus and how the evil socialists want to take it away and open our borders to scary foreign cows with nasty-looking horns. Also, nobody ever returns from the slaughterhouse, so they could just be told that they're going to retirement on a holiday island of some sort, only realising the terrible truth once there is no way back.

Oh cmon, you're barely even trying.

If the moojority of the cowsmoodia is controoled by Roopert Moo-rdoch, they woold be moombarded with propooganda aboout the Tmoories' record hay surplus and how the evil socliamooists want to take it away and moopen our bwoorders to scary fwooreign cows with nasty-looking hoorns. Also, moobody ever returns from the slaughterhouse, so they could just be told that they're going to retirement on a hooliday island of some swoort, moonly realising the terrible mwrooth once there is mwoo way back.
posted by Soultron at 6:07 AM on January 1


There's also trying moo hard.
posted by Wolof at 6:28 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


Turns out to be true in cows and goats.
posted by cromagnon at 6:30 AM on January 1


And apparently urban birdsongs are louder and more staccato than their rural equivalent; like the difference between grime/rap and folk balladry or something.
posted by acb at 6:43 AM on January 1 [3 favorites]


There was one time in my high school Spanish class where we started a chapter on animal sounds. For the dog, it had "guau guau" and i asked the teacher why they didn't go "bark bark" or "woof woof" like other dogs. Would it just be Spanish dogs that make the sound? If you had an American dog in the back of a truck heading for the Mexican border, would they change their sound once you crossed? And so on.

Suffice to say, we didn't get much done in class that day.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:58 AM on January 1 [3 favorites]


I am astonished at Sir Patrick's depth of understanding with regard to bovine politics and social concerns. I'm not surprised at cows voting Tory, though - humans and cows both have a long history of getting bitten by the hand that feeds.
posted by Mooski at 7:03 AM on January 1


Patrick Stewart can moo, can you?
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:11 AM on January 1


I was astonished to find, on visiting Germany, that German cows really truly do say "muh".
posted by flabdablet at 7:14 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


I was astonished to find, on visiting Germany, that German cows really truly do say "muh".

Without an umlaut?
posted by acb at 7:26 AM on January 1


So far, the How To Do Everything podcast has had Jonathan Frakes, Kate Mulgrew, and now Sir Patrick on to provide insight to various questions. Only Frakes's question was even tangentially related to Star Trek or even acting.

The makers of the podcast apparently think that being a senior officer in the Trek universe imbues you with useful knowledge. Not that I'm planning to dissuade them from that perspective. Just sayin'.
posted by dry white toast at 7:49 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


There's also trying moo hard.

Or milking it dry.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:05 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


In response to the pointed suggestion by Thatcher's former sports minister Richard Tracey that football clubs should have paid her a moment's silence out of respect for what she did for the game, when "what she did for the game" was, in the eyes of many, to do what she could to wreck it, John Oliver said on The Bugle #230:

"In fact, there might actually be something in that Andy. Maybe they should have suggested a minute's noise across the country. Just so that you could make any primal sound that you wanted in relation to Margret Thatcher. It might have been cathartic for the whole of Britian. Some could cry, others could cheer, many could cry at the others cheering, some could moo, but all could find a way to process their feelings."

British mooing is an important form political expression. Stewart is just doing what he can to keep the tradition alive and vibrant.
posted by JHarris at 8:11 AM on January 1


You could of course take your cello.
posted by yoHighness at 8:24 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


I was astonished to find, on visiting Germany, that German cows really truly do say "muh".

Without an umlaut?


Pretty sure it's only the Prussian cows that say "muh". Bavarian cows say "müh", and cows from the industrialized region of Frankfurt definitely have an extended "müü".
posted by hippybear at 8:41 AM on January 1 [3 favorites]


Christmas dinners are really awkward

It's bad when he gives you a pat on the head.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 8:46 AM on January 1 [2 favorites]


Patrick Stewart is great. I really loved him in "Gandhi".
posted by sour cream at 9:59 AM on January 1


Sir Patrick Stewart is a excellent bull-shitter.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 10:22 AM on January 1 [1 favorite]


For all of those parents whose children ask "What noise does an [animal] in [a country] make?," there's the delightful bzzzpeek.com.
posted by MonkeyToes at 10:23 AM on January 1 [4 favorites]


THERE ARE FOUR COWS!
posted by Danf at 11:43 AM on January 1 [4 favorites]


I think the joke is "Four candles".
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 2:02 PM on January 1


Huh. Very funny responses. My initial reaction to this radio piece, however, was not amusement. Actually it seemed to me that the illustrious Mr. Stewart slurred several words, thus leading me to wonder if he might have been drinking.

If I, too, had to imitate various cow communications on public radio, I'm sure I would have imbibed as well.
posted by MyTwoCentsToo at 3:29 PM on January 1


Is that actually Patrick Stewart? It sounds more like someone imitating him.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:43 PM on January 1


Not just the slurred words, I distinctly heard a cork go pop. How else could you begin to moo at length down the phone to random broadcasting strangers?

On preview, you already said that.

urbanwhaleshark, no-one's going to get that.
posted by glasseyes at 4:00 PM on January 1


It's only because he's, well, Sir Patrick, that he's allowed to get away with calling it neh-vahhh-də instead of neh-vaaaa-də (rhymes with vat and cat and pack and black (and I really need to learn the IPA)). (For bonus points, the town of Verdi, NV, is pronounced verrr-deeee, not like the composer.)
posted by Lexica at 6:07 PM on January 1


Four candles.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 6:15 PM on January 1


Mook it so.
posted by Effigy2000 at 6:59 PM on January 1 [1 favorite]


Baa, humbug.
posted by flabdablet at 8:06 PM on January 1


There was one time in my high school Spanish class where we started a chapter on animal sounds. For the dog, it had "guau guau" and i asked the teacher why they didn't go "bark bark" or "woof woof" like other dogs. Would it just be Spanish dogs that make the sound? If you had an American dog in the back of a truck heading for the Mexican border, would they change their sound once you crossed? And so on.

Suffice to say, we didn't get much done in class that day.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:58 AM on January 1


I remember this from high school Spanish class as well. In the test on the animal sounds unit, there was an extra credit question asking: "Why did we study this?" The correct answer was that it helps us understand Spanish phonetics, what sounds are most prevalent in English as opposed to Spanish (and thus used to represent animal sounds in each language), etc. One student in the class wrote that animals living in Spanish-speaking countries are exposed to different sounds, and thus make different sounds themselves...

(Another high school story: That same year, my English class -- in the USA -- read parts of Eliot's The Waste Land out loud. There's a line where a rooster crows: "Co co rico co co rico." The student who read it out loud read it as a series of separate words with spaces in between. At the time, I don't think anyone in the class, even the teacher, realized that these is the sounds that REAL AMURIKUNZ pronounce as "cock-a-doodle-doo.")
posted by dhens at 10:23 PM on January 1


Greatness.
Patrick Stewart can define greatness.
posted by Neekee at 7:50 AM on January 2


There's a line where a rooster crows: "Co co rico co co rico."

No, that can't be right; that's el Chupacabra!
posted by grubi at 1:37 PM on January 2 [1 favorite]


« Older A new Report on the State of Health + Urbanism (pd...  |  Crusty real estate blogger Gar... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments