January 4, 2002
7:42 AM   Subscribe

What's going on with pop music these days?
Nick from the Backstreet Boys resists arrest and then breaks into tears when it happens anyway.
Britney does have sex.
Moby gets the crap kicked out of him by a stray kitten.
What kind of example are these people setting for our youth? Especially Moby...
posted by TiggleTaggleTiger (36 comments total)

 
the nick carter story was particularly chuckle worthy.
posted by jerseygirl at 7:57 AM on January 4, 2002


Oh dear lord! First,this Nick Carter thing. Can you imagine Keith Richards or Sid Vicious blubbering after getting busted. C'mon Nick, buck up boyo. Too bad G.G. Allin's no longer with us, it would've been nice to imagine them sharing a cell for the evening.
As for the Britney thing...first of all, the idea of anyone having sex with Justin Timberlake frightens me. Secondly, how did the media let a golden oppurtunity like this slip by? I'm amazed Justin and Britney's first umm, encounter wasn't on the 50-yard-line of the Superdome in a solid gold bed and broadcast on pay-per-view.
Now I kinda like Moby, so I wont be too rough on him. But I just gotta wonder if while he was getting stitched up he did'nt contemplate, just for a moment ditching the whole animal rights shtick.
posted by jonmc at 8:03 AM on January 4, 2002


For Britney not to take full advantage of that body would be a crime against nature.
posted by jpoulos at 8:03 AM on January 4, 2002


It was unfortunate that Moby did not get rabies, I am sick and tired of having to hear his songs every time I sit down and try to watch a commercial. If only his "stoicism" had been stronger!
posted by Grok09 at 8:34 AM on January 4, 2002


I just love the way the Moby story ends with a "Hey kids, don't pet stray cats!" speech from the chastened Mobester. The only thing the guy is more devoted to than music is making Public Service Announcements.
posted by BT at 8:38 AM on January 4, 2002


For Britney not to take full advantage of that body would be a crime against nature...

Now, I may be in the minority among men, but I don't think she's that terrific. Bleached hair turns me off, she's too skinny and while her features are pleasant enough, they're kind of boring and inexpressive. Maybe you have to be under 30 (or over 50) to understand her appeal. Or maybe it's just me.
posted by jonmc at 8:49 AM on January 4, 2002


The problem with taking advantage of that body is that you'd almost certainly have to talk to her afterward :(

She is rather, um, pneumatic, though. And one could always pretend to have fallen asleep.
posted by UncleFes at 9:01 AM on January 4, 2002


I was arrested once for hindering and opposing a police officer because I had the nerve to ask a cop who barged into a party, "Who invited you in?" He asked me if I lived there, to which I repeated, "Who invited you in?" He immediately cuffed me and paraded me around the party telling everybody that they could join me if they wanted to. This was the 30th birthday party for a friend, so it wasn't like we were a bunch of wasted teenagers, but I still spent the evening in jail while my posse rounded up $500 for the bail bond.

Anyway, later my lawyer told me that if I lived in the apartment, I would have had the right to ask the cop who invited him in. But since I was not the resident, I had the right to remain silent, and that's about it. After $950 in lawyer's fees, he had the case thrown out.

Lesson: if you're at someone else's house and the cops show up, keep your mouth shut. Pigs can (and will) arrest you and cause you lots of inconvenience for any reason they see fit. "Hindering and opposing a police officer" can be just about anything.

But at least I didn't cry like that pussy from the Backstreet Boys.

(By the way his name was Officer Ramberger and his badge number was 367. I'll never forget.)
posted by elvissinatra at 9:05 AM on January 4, 2002


She has hair?
posted by jpoulos at 9:07 AM on January 4, 2002


Moby continues to impress me, if only because he can actually speak parentheses in an interview. I never thought I'd live to see someone use 'wont' three times in a sentence and mean it.
posted by Dane at 9:21 AM on January 4, 2002


Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.
posted by Mick at 9:21 AM on January 4, 2002


There are two things that should not be on when watching Britney Spears... the sound and your pants.
posted by DragonBoy at 9:24 AM on January 4, 2002


I don't see what's so appealing about britney either, but who cares if she has sex? she's in an apparently committed relationship. she's nineteen. it's no big deal.
posted by rabi at 9:28 AM on January 4, 2002


She has hair?

i can't imagine her real hair is all that spectacular. from her earlier photos, it's obvious that she's a natural brunette and that's a hell of a lot of bleaching upkeep.

i think she's got a cute face, but her hairstyle is so unflattering in my opinion. the extensions are horrible. doesn't matter, i don't imagine many people are looking above the neck anyway.
posted by jerseygirl at 9:45 AM on January 4, 2002


i don't imagine many people are looking above the neck anyway....

Below the neck dosent impress me much either. Real men like women with more curves. Remember, only a dog wants a bone.
posted by jonmc at 9:48 AM on January 4, 2002


I'm really hoping that Britney's having sex will shut her up about all that virginity nonsense. It's screwing up an entire generation of youngsters who dress like sluts and claim the higher moral ground.
posted by waffleboy at 9:51 AM on January 4, 2002


he can actually speak parentheses in an interview.

Well, this isn't actually from an interview. Moby keeps his own Blog, which can be found here.

His newest blog entry says, "And I've decided that although I'm still a vegan I will definitely eat this cat if I see it again."
posted by Windigo at 10:08 AM on January 4, 2002


Britney looks cross-eyed in the poster that was up in the subways recently. The michael jackson album cover poster was up at the same time, and of the two, he was the better looking white girl.
posted by mdn at 10:53 AM on January 4, 2002


"And I've decided that although I'm still a vegan I will definitely eat this cat if I see it again."

I'm sure eating the cat will have much fewer side-effects than being bitten by the cat. Imagine explaining that one to the doctor!
posted by Dane at 11:21 AM on January 4, 2002


i think she's got a cute face, but her hairstyle is so unflattering in my opinion.

Agreed. Anyone remember this? Pop star Britney Spears and live-in boyfriend Justin Timberlake had videos of "personal moments" stolen from their home. The link doesn't work anymore (recent news instead...this was from September here). Virgin. Right.
posted by adampsyche at 11:45 AM on January 4, 2002


'You just want to arrest a Backstreet Boy.'

Response in cops head, or at the very least in mine:
Umm, actually no. I would much rather kick the crap out of you for your awful music
posted by a3matrix at 11:50 AM on January 4, 2002


Knowing what I know of cops, they'd probably have made every effort to NOT arrest him had he not pressed the issue by being a jagoff. Paperwork and headlines they don't need.
posted by UncleFes at 12:19 PM on January 4, 2002


not for nothing, but doesn't britney already look like she's been out in a beach chair on a lawn in palm beach for too long? ick. she might have a stomach you can bounce quarters off, but she already looks like what she'll look like at 55.
posted by maura at 12:37 PM on January 4, 2002


For Britney not to take full advantage of that body would be a crime against nature.

her body or justins body?
posted by th3ph17 at 12:43 PM on January 4, 2002


hers... and mine.
posted by jpoulos at 1:46 PM on January 4, 2002


britney has a cool blog right over here.
posted by lescour at 2:04 PM on January 4, 2002


Could someone enlighten me as to why Ms. Britney's music appeals to young children?

A friend has a 18-month old boy who stops whatever he is doing, becomes transfixed on the TV, and starts dancing whenever she is on. The kid never pays attention to the TV otherwise.

Can't ask the toddler, as his conversation skills aren't that developed yet.
posted by xena at 2:27 PM on January 4, 2002


Good point, Xena. Here's the answer to your question:
Britney Spears, much like the Back-Door Boys or N'SYNC, aren't even people. They are creatures created by Satan and unleashed onto the world to lower our net standards and to make us beleive that things devoid of value are actually good. The government is wise to Lucifer's creation, but instead of fighting it, have decided to join hands with the evil-one becasue they too want these insideous creations to lower our net expectations of what quality things in life are. In short, Spears, BSB, & N'SYNC are hear to make us think that it's okay to be mediocre.

It's hardly surprising that your friend's son becomes transfixed on Ms. Spears. There are tiny hypnotic devices surgically implanted into the prepubescent boobies of Ms. Spears that will transfix any potential viewer under her spell. Under such an influence, the tiny devices tell young children, like your friend's toddler, that shopping malls are good, that SUV's are of great value to the modern family, and that Applebee's restaraunts are delicious and nutritious, among other things.
posted by tiger yang at 2:42 PM on January 4, 2002


Could someone enlighten me as to why Ms. Britney's music appeals to young children?

No to mention the old and infirm...I was working in phone sales once selling a laptop to a dude who sounded old and claimed to be bedridden, the whole time "Oop! I did it again.." was playing in the background. *shudder*
posted by jonmc at 2:59 PM on January 4, 2002


i'm waiting for interchangeable pop-stars...

just have a name, market the name, song writers write the songs, studio muscians play the music, and different people can take turns being the pop-star. Wouldn't it be exciting if Brittany looked slightly different every other week? "Wow, this weeks Brittany has slightly perkier boobies than last weeks, though her smile was somewhat more alluring"

One week as a Brittany and you could pay your way through college...and the quality of the music wouldn't change a bit. Japan already has virtual pop-stars...but this system would allow for live appearances.
posted by th3ph17 at 3:04 PM on January 4, 2002


and, moby is an odd duck, but surely he doesn't belong in the same ring of hell as the others mentioned.
posted by th3ph17 at 3:06 PM on January 4, 2002


adampsyche: That article is still here.
posted by modofo at 3:17 PM on January 4, 2002


What's going on with pop music these days?
posted by hitsman at 6:42 PM on January 4, 2002


Hell...I seem to recall reading an article in that magazine Sam Goody puts out that Britney admitted to her sexual preferences over a year and a half ago. For some reason I can not fathom, I remember that she said she liked for guys to play with her feet and that her favourite sexual position was "on top".
posted by tpoh.org at 7:59 AM on January 5, 2002


"Below the neck dosent impress me much either. Real men like women with more curves. Remember, only a dog wants a bone."

Umm... Brtiney has a lot of curves... in fairly nice places.

Unless your only counting as "curves" body types that are essentially spherical.

She has a shape fairly close to the "magic proportions" (the traditional hourglass) and you can't do that without curves :)
posted by soulhuntre at 4:41 AM on January 6, 2002


Britney's purpose is to lower our expecations of what an attractive woman should look like. However, this could easily be a force of good:

Women usually become rock stars because they are hot, and happen to be able to sing. This keeps many talented but not-so-hot female musicians down. Whit Britney lowering our standards for "hot," we should start to get some truly talented female rock stars who don't happen to work part-time as supermodels.

Her musid and body are still crap, though.
posted by Ptrin at 12:18 PM on January 6, 2002


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