Last week I thought about being a nurse.
January 7, 2014 11:47 PM   Subscribe

Bravo. These are hilarious!
posted by Pomo at 11:53 PM on January 7

The tone of these is perfect.
posted by lunasol at 11:56 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]

McSweeney's has 5 Under 5.
posted by creade at 12:04 AM on January 8 [1 favorite]

I actually had to once talk a person down from not being on their world's 30 under 30, like with spit and bourbon.



Our world is pretty horrible.
posted by The Whelk at 12:07 AM on January 8 [4 favorites]

This is so exactly perfect.
All that was missing was a mention of MFA programs.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:14 AM on January 8

The comments on the piece are hysterical. Look at how many people do not understand satire.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 12:14 AM on January 8

I'm currently reading Forbe's 30000 under 30000 hell demons to watch for. Xthnuthu XNNXN is only 12443 and already has 3mil in VC funding. I feel inadequate.
posted by hellojed at 12:22 AM on January 8 [3 favorites]

This is pretty priceless.
posted by caudal at 12:31 AM on January 8

It's too bad that some of them are doing things other than "working on a collection of short stories." Their choice, I guess, but I find that following up your first novel with a book of stories really brings your style into focus.
posted by Nomyte at 12:36 AM on January 8 [2 favorites]

These are great!
posted by smoke at 2:25 AM on January 8

I'm still on the 7 billion under 7 billion list, but I feel as if I'm losing my edge.
posted by pracowity at 2:44 AM on January 8 [3 favorites]

Wait, what is this about?
posted by Quilford at 2:52 AM on January 8

"Show me a piece of fiction that works."

posted by colie at 3:51 AM on January 8

"Great stuff. I lol'd." -Russell Banks
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:52 AM on January 8

How long did it take you to write your first book?

Two years. I changed a lot in the process. I grew with my characters.

Full of win.
posted by chavenet at 6:38 AM on January 8

"110 over 110"
posted by Iridic at 9:34 AM on January 8

What, in your opinion, makes a piece of fiction work?

An incentive! All kidding aside: fiction is the marriage of the synchronic and the diachronic—a common law marriage, an uneasy cohabitation—and the linguistic record of their divorce. To the extent that work enters into the equation, it is “work” in the strict sense of Newtonian physics, measured not in bank notes, not in units of realized catharsis, but in joules. The product of force and distance: this is the work of fiction, and fiction “works” so long as the force acts on a synchronic body such that there is a diachronic displacement of the point of application.
The work of fiction is pushing your manuscript through publishing houses....
posted by kaibutsu at 10:05 AM on January 8

Oh, the comments! The comments! Sometimes they are so wonderful:
Phenomenal. I heard C.C. Lewis speak at Smith a few years ago on mining as a metaphor for violent male self-discovery in George MacDonald's "Princess and the Goblin", and how those themes percolate through C.S. Lewis and manifest in "The Silver Chair". C.C. had the audience eating out of the palm of her hand (literally--she shared her cheerios during the snack break halfway through the lecture), and is without a doubt one of the great literary minds of our time.
posted by mochapickle at 1:31 PM on January 8 [4 favorites]

Wait, what is this about?
It's that time of the year again! Everyone you know is brimming with enthusiasm, committed to their New Year's resolutions. They've been going to the gym daily, eating a lot of quinoa, and putting in extra hours at work.

Then that all comes to a screeching halt because something devastating has happened: the Forbes' "30 Under 30" list.

Trust us, there is no quicker way to make an entire population of over–twenty-somethings feel insignificant than to present them with an encyclopedia of 22–year–olds who have already accomplished more than many will in their entire life.

Suddenly, that nerdy guy you went to high school with is a young finance celebrity (at least for the week) and you're still just … well … you. The only thing that can make you feel better? Realizing that many names on the list are actual celebrities. They totally have an advantage.

Or the short answer: segments of the internet are freaking out about the 2014 Forbes' 30 under 30 list.
posted by librarylis at 2:29 PM on January 8 [2 favorites]

I'm so relieved these aren't for real!
posted by newdaddy at 2:40 PM on January 8

They've been going to the gym daily, eating a lot of quinoa, and putting in extra hours at work.

posted by en forme de poire at 3:58 PM on January 8

I am kind of disappointed there aren't any excerpts.
posted by daisystomper at 5:46 PM on January 8 [1 favorite]

freaking out about the 2014 Forbes' 30 under 30 list.

There are similar types of lists in other disciplines. Photography used to have a 30 Under 30 competition that got renamed PDN30 because people over 30 were getting recognized. Now this year, Magnum and IdeasTap have resurrected 30 Under 30 for photography.
posted by msbrauer at 10:58 AM on January 9

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