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There's no such thing as purple urine.
January 9, 2014 7:58 AM   Subscribe

Hypochondriacs unite! Here is a handy infographic about diagnosing yourself with your own urine!
posted by Kitteh (41 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Pink to Reddish - Have you eaten beets, blueberries, or rhubarb recently?...."

They ain't kidding. That was an unexpected outcome the first time I got beets in my CSA box and tried them. Several hours later I was out at some event and ducked into the ladies' room, and there was an interesting moment when I went to flush and "OH MY GOD THE COLOR WHAT IS WRONG WITHoh wait i had beets today that's right".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:10 AM on January 9 [7 favorites]


Pomegranates can give you the same effect. I nearly lost my mind when I peed after eating them a long time ago.
posted by Kitteh at 8:14 AM on January 9


Dear AskMe, my urine is transparent yellow, but it glows in the dark. Does that still count as normal?
posted by XMLicious at 8:16 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


Yay! I love this stuff. How can you observe your own physiology? Is it time to repost the Bristol Stool Chart yet?
posted by sneebler at 8:17 AM on January 9


They left one out. If your pee is the color of lemon lime gatorade, have you taken a B complex vitamin recently?

For those of you who think the colors are pretty, you might be interested in this.
posted by phunniemee at 8:19 AM on January 9 [3 favorites]


There's no such thing as purple urine.

This is quite wrong. For certain types of porphyria, the urine will turn a dark purple when exposed to ultraviolet light. It ranges from brownish to reddish to a very dark purple.
posted by adipocere at 8:24 AM on January 9 [5 favorites]


I switched back to the MetaFilter tab after viewing the infographic and was momentarily confused by overeducated_alligator discussing the color of Post-It Notes. "They know a lot about pee!"
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:33 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


I've never seen a purple whizz,
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you this right now,
I'd rather see than pee one.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:37 AM on January 9 [13 favorites]


I am still trying to figure out the whole asparagus pee smell thing.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:38 AM on January 9


Ugh, the asparagus smell. For the longest time I had no idea what people were talking about, until a few weeks ago when I ended up eating asparagus for three consecutive nights. Nearly knocked myself out in my office bathroom. I guess my nose is just less sensitive to it than other people.

This concludes this week's installment of information you did not request.
posted by C'est la D.C. at 8:43 AM on January 9 [3 favorites]


Urine Flavour Wheels. Doctors used to diagnose patients by smelling and tasting their urine. "The urine is of bad odor, hot, and tastes of salt, like blood."
posted by Nelson at 8:45 AM on January 9 [1 favorite]


They left out highlighter orange that nearly stains the bowl from taking Pyridium for UTI.
posted by pajamazon at 8:47 AM on January 9 [6 favorites]


Urine flavor wheels.

Sorry c'est la DC, that ^^ concludes this week's installment of information you did not request.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:57 AM on January 9 [3 favorites]


i'm scared to click the link because i'm afraid it will tell me i have DREAD DISEASE
posted by sio42 at 9:02 AM on January 9


My secret plan all along was just to get everyone to talk about their pee.
posted by Kitteh at 9:03 AM on January 9 [1 favorite]


I love beets, and pomegranates, and blueberries, and rhubarb, and I have never noticed that my pee is different afterwards.

I must be broken.

When I was a little kid, I didn't exactly understand how digestion worked. Poop seemed to make sense; I kinda figured if you shoved all food in a blender that's basically what poop would look like, so no worry for my four year old brain.

But pee? That confused me. Mostly it made sense; I drank a lot of apple juice when I was a kid. (Mmm, apple juice.) Pee looks vaguely like apple juice, so okay. I would get very confused when I drank grape juice though. For the longest time I thought something was vaguely wrong with me, because why wasn't my pee purple?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:03 AM on January 9


also why do I hit post too soon


Urine flavour wheels

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:04 AM on January 9 [1 favorite]


Urine flavour wheels

Is this something I can order from Harry & David? Hickory Farms?
posted by Pudhoho at 9:21 AM on January 9 [5 favorites]


About 10 years ago, I was at my doctor for a routine checkup and I mentioned my urine was a little darker than I was expecting for the last week or so. He asked what it tasted like. I just smiled and thought he was kidding. It stayed with me all these years as odd, but now I am thinking he might have been partly serious.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:25 AM on January 9


Oh, and there is this, How to start a fire with your pee.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:26 AM on January 9 [1 favorite]


Transparent yellow: You're normal.

Hmmm. In a good way or bad way?
posted by 0 answers at 9:28 AM on January 9


Urine flavour wheels

Is this something I can order from Harry & David? Hickory Farms?


No, it's Throbbing Gristle's opening act.
posted by griphus at 9:36 AM on January 9 [5 favorites]


Urine flavour wheels

I prefer my wheels wheel flavour.
posted by iotic at 10:08 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


There's no such thing as purple urine.

I'm shocked at how many of you people have never had a roommate slip them some Methylene blue.
posted by straight at 10:18 AM on January 9


i've had a roommate slip me some wait nevermind
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:23 AM on January 9 [1 favorite]


Is this something I can order from Harry & David? Hickory Farms?

Part of the secret Beyond section of Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:26 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


"Medicine, young man, is a science! It consists of observation! Whether a man's water is blue is neither here nor there."
posted by 1367 at 10:33 AM on January 9


I'm shocked at how many of you people have never had a roommate slip them some Methylene blue.

Our 10th grade chemistry teacher once told the class that if one were to drink phenolphthalein -- used as an acid/base indicator -- it would turn your pee colors. I mentioned that to the lab tech because I wanted to try it, and he told me it wasn't a good idea, what with phenolphthalein also being a potent laxative.

(NB: This was before it turned out to be carcinogenic.)
posted by griphus at 10:33 AM on January 9


When I worked in an Emergency Room, we had a code for hypochondriacs, "Positive for phosphorescent urine." In other words, when doing the work-up, if we asked, "Do you notice that your urine is glowing?" If the patient answered "yes," we became skeptical.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:46 AM on January 9 [3 favorites]


oh urine wheels! I have pondered my pee more carefully ever since reading Guy Gavriel Kay's Lions of Al Rassan which opens with a physician losing her urine flask.

From Nelson's link:
Hastimeha, elephant urine.
The patient continuously passes turbid urine like a mad elephant.

Madhumeha, honey urine.
The urine is astringent, sweet, white and sharp.
Mad elephant urine!
posted by spamandkimchi at 11:03 AM on January 9


You're not truly living unless yours comes out in a rainbow of colors.

Fact: I am a unicorn.
posted by stormpooper at 11:40 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]


Urine flavour wheels
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:04 AM on January 9 [1 favorite +] [!]


It would appear that your fear mongering actually gives some fecks.
posted by srboisvert at 11:57 AM on January 9


Obligatory: I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
posted by valkyryn at 12:25 PM on January 9 [1 favorite]


Usually when someone ingests Methyl Blue (even if you hide it in grape juice) they immediately know it because it turns your mouth blue.

I had a roommate in college who slipped some of the solid stuff into one of the (antibiotic?) capsules our roommate was taking. So the poor fellow had no warning when his urine was so concentrated purple it made the entire toilet seem full of grape juice. He had a pretty traumatic visit to the student health service, where they had no idea what to tell him (!), before he got back to the room and the prankster could confess.

So then in solidarity and repentance we all ate some and were peeing grape juice for a few days (and it turned our feces green).
posted by straight at 12:38 PM on January 9 [1 favorite]


It would appear that your fear mongering actually gives some fecks.

Hey now, I only monger fear featuring feces fecklessly.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:42 PM on January 9 [2 favorites]


I was a camp counselor one summer, and one of my 12-year-old campers came up to camp with the start of a bladder infection that required medication. No biggie, but one of the side effects was that the medicine would turn her pee neon green. I pulled her aside when giving her the first dose of the medicine and quietly let her know that her pee would turn neon green, so that she wouldn't freak out the first time she saw it.

The next day, my campers were all in the shared bathhouse and it got a little quiet in there. I peeked over into the toilet area, to find eleven girls all standing outside a single stall. Then, the one with the infection threw open the stall door and all eleven girls crowded around.

"SEE?" said the first one, triumphantly.

"Whooooooaaaah," breathed the other girls, impressed. Instantly she became the coolest girl in the cabin.
posted by Elly Vortex at 1:24 PM on January 9 [2 favorites]


(and it turned our feces green)

The dark red dye covering Flaim' Hot Cheetoes does not digest. I suspect everyone who has eaten a whole bag of those has had the same life-flashing-before-your-eyes experience staring at the toilet bowl as I did the next day.
posted by griphus at 1:47 PM on January 9


Asparagus: effects on urine.
posted by swift at 7:10 PM on January 9


Embarrassingly personal and also gross anecdote: a while back, I would occasionally piss clotted blood after a bout of vigorous sex that had been prolonged by hours of (voluntary) orgasm denial. The first time it happened it came as quite the shock, believe you me; I was just blithely performing my usual post-coital ablutions, when all of a sudden my urine turned bright red and then a handful of chunky, clotted blobs of blood squirted out my urethra. I could feel them as they exited my body.

Needless to say I brought it up to my doctor, who said it was probably originating in my prostate and made me submit to a rectal exam. He couldn't find anything wrong. When I told him that it only seemed to happen if I'd orgasmed after several hours of intense arousal without relief, all he did was shrug and say "well, then I suggest you stop doing that."

That's my story.
posted by Scientist at 7:44 PM on January 9


A friend of mine once made another friend a birthday cake, but when doing the icing (that's what we call frosting down here in the antipodes) decided that it wasn't blue enough, so added some more blue food dye. And then some more just to make sure.

We were all pooing blue for a few days after that.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 9:22 PM on January 9


phunniemee: "For those of you who think the colors are pretty, you might be interested in this."

Aw, I miss The Sneeze!
posted by Chrysostom at 4:46 PM on January 11


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