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If I only had a...
January 12, 2014 3:27 PM   Subscribe

Many people have wondered about Metafilter over the years. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Metafilter had human body parts? Wonder no longer. NSFW Metafilter's anus: The Elite Restless Labyrinth.

(Compare to Metatalk's, The Fierce Red Wine Secret Base.)

Maybe you prefer breasts? And if those aren't enough for you, Metafilter also comes in vaginal and penile options.

h/t to emmtee, who linked the penis link here.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering (66 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is...wait for it...

Breast of the web!
posted by oceanjesse at 3:30 PM on January 12 [8 favorites]


Does Metafiler have weird breasts? Or do I have weird breasts? Because based on that rendering, one of us has weird breasts.
posted by maryr at 3:31 PM on January 12 [5 favorites]


i think we're overthinking a plate of peens
posted by pyramid termite at 3:32 PM on January 12 [8 favorites]


MetaFilter: The Unused Gator.
posted by ignignokt at 3:35 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by chavenet at 3:37 PM on January 12 [37 favorites]


I guess somebody assumed something, because this has clearly made an ass out of you and me.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:44 PM on January 12 [4 favorites]


Wow. There really is a site for everything on the Internet.
posted by SisterHavana at 3:44 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


One million internets to the first Mefite who draws a realistic/tasteful nude picture of the hermaphroditic god-creature that is MetaFilter.

(Of course, everybody knows that we all love MeFi for its personality, not its naughty bits.)

(Right?)

posted by Strange Interlude at 3:45 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


You know you can do comparisons... like, maybe Metafilter and Reddit....
posted by HuronBob at 3:46 PM on January 12 [11 favorites]


I think Metafilter should see a gynecologist right away. That can't be a healthy vagina.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:46 PM on January 12 [7 favorites]


wat
posted by panaceanot at 3:47 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Ahem.

Ask MetaFilter: That can't be a healthy vagina
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:47 PM on January 12 [2 favorites]


Rule 34!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:48 PM on January 12


I think Metafilter should see a gynecologist right away. That can't be a healthy vagina.

Let...let's not be hasty.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:48 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Eponhyswahtical
posted by The Whelk at 3:51 PM on January 12


wat

twat

ftfy
posted by univac at 3:54 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


So metafilter is a female duck. Okay.
posted by bleep at 3:55 PM on January 12 [7 favorites]


You can also use the site to write a message in ejaculate. I'm jes' sayin.
posted by chavenet at 3:59 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


There's all kinds of oddness for example, the Metafilter weapon? Not a hammer.

The Metafilter Saver

I think it's just supposed to be saber. The Japanese for ve is the same as be.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:13 PM on January 12


Those are taters.
posted by benzenedream at 4:15 PM on January 12 [3 favorites]


What. Is this some kind of analysis of content turned into maths turned into naughty bits? I need to understand what is going on here.
posted by dg at 4:16 PM on January 12 [4 favorites]


Penis will be added by pressing the Add button.


That's all you need to know about the process.
posted by chavenet at 4:24 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


I really hope this becomes the new norm for data visualization.
posted by backseatpilot at 4:34 PM on January 12 [2 favorites]


Total duck vag.
posted by wotsac at 4:36 PM on January 12


Not so flattering comparison.
posted by Meatbomb at 4:52 PM on January 12


I don't get it.
posted by jeffamaphone at 4:58 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


The infinite is possible at zombo.com
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:03 PM on January 12 [5 favorites]


Once more, I discover the MetaFilter definition of "gentility" is talking about genitals.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:04 PM on January 12


Spiral Count: 8

Huh.
posted by Songdog at 5:05 PM on January 12


They also make this handy correlation diagram generator
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 5:10 PM on January 12


Farkifcation complete.
posted by Mblue at 5:22 PM on January 12


I'm not so sure about those correlations, myself.
posted by rollick at 5:29 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Clicked "affinity", then "simulate". I feel like I just watched the weirdest porn.
posted by A Bad Catholic at 5:31 PM on January 12


> You know you can do comparisons... like, maybe Metafilter and Reddit....

Just earlier today I was making a case for MeFi being a more thoughtful forum than any other on the web, and if these stats don't prove it, I don't know what will.

But you know, there's also a way to analyze their, um, compatibility... which in the case of reddit & metafilter is disturbingly high.
posted by Westringia F. at 5:32 PM on January 12 [3 favorites]


Actually, no: it's just plain disturbing.
posted by Westringia F. at 5:33 PM on January 12


Hey, I am Metafilter's arse.
posted by Decani at 6:18 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Why do we have vagina dentata?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:19 PM on January 12 [2 favorites]


Why would we not?
posted by C'est la D.C. at 6:21 PM on January 12 [3 favorites]


... in the case of reddit & metafilter is disturbingly high.
Even more so when it's MeFi on top.
posted by dg at 6:25 PM on January 12


jeffamaphone:: I don't get it.

That makes two of us.
posted by hoodrich at 6:40 PM on January 12


What. Is this some kind of analysis of content turned into maths turned into naughty bits? I need to understand what is going on here.

No analysis of anything. Put any random string of text in the end of the url, it draws a random picture of a body part. Hilarity, for some reason, ensues.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:43 PM on January 12


Anus of me tapping randomly on my keyboard.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:43 PM on January 12


What were you tapping with, though?
posted by slater at 6:46 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


"You can also use the site to write a message in ejaculate. I'm jes' sayin."

And yet, no hetero buttsex
posted by klangklangston at 6:59 PM on January 12


Well, now I've seen everything. Really.
posted by vrakatar at 7:04 PM on January 12


It's too late, vrakatar?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:16 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


I'm going to borrow something from the doge thread of a week ago:


Could someone please explain this to me as if I was from 1986 and didn't know what the internet was?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:23 PM on January 12 [3 favorites]


No can't be done very sorry
posted by ook at 7:31 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Zombo and Metafilter, a match made in heaven.
posted by Joe Chip at 7:38 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Could someone please explain this to me as if I was from 1986 and didn't know what the internet was?

butts lol
vag lol
wang lol
breasts lol


'lol' means 'laughing out loud'
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:50 PM on January 12 [6 favorites]


Tried two names at random using "affinity." Feel I should apologize to both parties.
posted by datawrangler at 8:04 PM on January 12


I am skipping meetups until this meme blows over. . .
posted by Danf at 8:21 PM on January 12 [3 favorites]


Could someone please explain this to me as if I was from 1986 and didn't know what the internet was?

Wouldn't you rather just be spared from thinking about this any further?
posted by maryr at 8:38 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Well, yes. That's why I drink.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:40 PM on January 12


This has tapped into a degree of discomfort that I was hitherto unfamiliar with and I would like to formally request that my ignorance of said state of being be restored ASAP.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 9:02 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure how I feel about butts laughing out loud. I kinda prefer it when they just sit there quietly.
posted by this is a thing at 9:21 PM on January 12


I wonder if anyone involved in this has ever touched a human vagina.
posted by klangklangston at 9:34 PM on January 12 [1 favorite]


Could someone please explain this to me as if I was from 1986 and didn't know what the internet was?

It's either the world's worst anatomy lesson or world's best band name generator. I put my name in the analyzer, and it told me my vagina band name is The Abnormal Technical Fountain.
posted by balacat at 10:15 PM on January 12 [2 favorites]


Does Metafiler have weird breasts? Or do I have weird breasts? Because based on that rendering, one of us has weird breasts.

If the Internet has taught me anything: yes.
posted by Mezentian at 6:57 AM on January 13


Or possibly: No.

In conclusion the Internet is contradictions.
posted by Mezentian at 7:02 AM on January 13


chavenet: "You can also use the site to write a message in ejaculate. I'm jes' sayin."

Who needs a site?
posted by Splunge at 8:15 AM on January 13


why is this happening
posted by cmoj at 8:17 AM on January 13 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: The Creamy Pearl.
posted by doctornemo at 10:26 AM on January 13


Norman Mailer v. Gore Vidal
posted by jwhite1979 at 10:34 AM on January 13 [1 favorite]


I wonder if anyone not involved in this has ever not touched a not human not vagina.
posted by oceanjesse at 7:17 PM on January 13


I think that's eponysterical, Splunge, but I'm afraid to google your username to find out.
posted by maryr at 7:40 PM on January 13


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