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"WILD DESTINATION AND DARE DECISIONS ?"
January 15, 2014 9:08 AM   Subscribe

The Mars One Mission (previously) has announced that it has selected a first shortlist of 1,058 astronaut applicants, out of an open pool of 200,000. That list isn't provided in the press release, but media around the world have already begun to report on local candidates: sixty-two Indians; seventy-five Canadians; three Irishmen; a police officer from Whitehall, New York; Florida Man (video autoplay); and a Utahn medevac pilot, of whom Ken Layne might possibly disapprove.

Best to take a look at the candidates now, as even the ones that are selected may never go. ("While [Mars One CEO] Lansdorp would not disclose how much money Mars One has raised to date, he did say that the organization had received “just over” $200,000 in donations.")

See also: the trouble with terraforming Mars.
posted by Countess Elena (29 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
Can we volunteer people we'd like to send on this mission?
posted by yoink at 9:10 AM on January 15 [10 favorites]


One of the Canadians is Norm Green, who lives in my town and is an acquaintance.
posted by Kitteh at 9:11 AM on January 15


Florida Man? Really?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:13 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Gotta get away from the bugs, bath salts, sinkholes, and old people somehow.
posted by maryr at 9:16 AM on January 15


who lives in my town

For the moment.
posted by yoink at 9:20 AM on January 15 [4 favorites]


Details of the 2014 selection phases have not been agreed upon due to ongoing negotiations with media companies for the rights to televise the selection processes.

You must be sufficiently attractive, conform to a familiar reality-TV stock character, and cause just the right amount of drama, to go to Mars.
posted by Kabanos at 9:42 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Honestly, I'm a big space fan and wish my government (USA) would spend at least double what it currently does on space, but sending people to land on Mars, let alone try to live there is just useless at this point in time. Throw in the wildly optimism goals of Mars One, who have zero experience sending an unmanned toaster on a suborbital flight and this just smells like insanity wrapped inside a con job, delivered with a heaping amount of naivety.

However, I would love to proven wrong.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:42 AM on January 15 [9 favorites]


Countess Elena: "...of whom Ken Layne might possibly disapprove"

Man, that's a nasty hit piece. Did Sullivan shoot his dog or something?
posted by zarq at 9:44 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Although 200,000 people "submitted" an "application," only an estimate of 2,782 payed the application fee. I wonder how much of their reported donations come just from that application fee...
posted by muddgirl at 9:46 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


One of the Canadians is Norm Green

I can see it now: Mars One Mission Control: "How are things on Mars, Norm?" Norm: "It's a dog-eat-dog planet and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."

Yeah, that's gonna get old on the Chryse Planitia.
posted by octobersurprise at 9:46 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


This is such a preposterous idea, and I cannot wait until it implodes as the farcical con job that it most certainly is. I do feel sorry for any of the poor people who actually think they might be going to Mars, though.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 9:46 AM on January 15 [5 favorites]


I'll feel even sorrier for the people who signed up just for shits and giggles, if this turns out (against all evidence) to be semi-legit and they're now somehow legally bound to take a one-way trip to Mars.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:07 AM on January 15


So sixty-two Indians; seventy-five Canadians; three Irishmen; a police officer from Whitehall, New York; and a Florida Man walk into a (Martian) bar...

... and the bartender sez to me, he sez, "That was no lady -- that was an Iron Lung!"
posted by mazola at 10:35 AM on January 15 [1 favorite]


The bartender says, "I guess you won't be needing a drink." And the sixty-two Indians, seventy-five Canadians, three Irishmen, police officer from Whitehall, New York and Florida Man all reply....
posted by zarq at 10:42 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


Can we volunteer people we'd like to send on this mission?

Justin Beiber
Jenny McCarthy
Luke Russert
Ken Ham
The Winklevoss twins
Sarah Palin
Dennis Rodman
Paul Ryan
Eric Erickson
posted by T.D. Strange at 10:51 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


I misread 'Utahn medevac pilot' as 'Utahn medieval pilot' , and spent too much time thinking about what that could possibly entail.
posted by Fig at 11:31 AM on January 15 [2 favorites]


A couple months back, I was watching all the videos from the Humans2Mars summit that took place in DC last May. On several occasions, NASA department directors and propulsion engineers and policy experts would finish their presentations and open the floor for Q&A, and one of the first questions would be about Mars One. A particularly egregious example was along the lines of, "When Mars One lands on the surface of the planet in 2025, what do you hope to learn from them?"

There would be a titter of nervous laugher and murmuring from the audience. The presenter would look either amused or embarrassed or some awkward combination of both, and say something polite about how they'd welcome progress from any quarter. And everyone else would go back to talking about mission architectures and whether or not the SLS program is a good idea and basically pretend that the subject hadn't come up.

It was a very strange thing to watch.

I'm mostly just irritated that Mars One is soaking up money and enthusiasm and attention that could be going to an effort that might actually accomplish something.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 11:39 AM on January 15


So sixty-two Indians; seventy-five Canadians; three Irishmen; a police officer from Whitehall, New York; and a Florida Man walk into a (Martian) bar...

Mars bars aren't that big.
posted by yoink at 11:40 AM on January 15 [5 favorites]


This shit stopped being even remotely funny long before it even started. These fuckers are transparent con-artists preying on the widespread ignorance of even the most basic challenges inherent to space and everyone else's seeming willingness to laugh along with them. Lacking a single scientist or engineer in any of the many fields that would be necessary much less even vaguely relevant to a mission to mars its not even a very good fake, its depressing just how much it doesn't need to be. This isn't some fun theater, this is a fraud that is actively trying to and succeeding at separating earnest trusting people from their money as well as the public from a real understanding of science.

Why are we helping them again?
posted by Blasdelb at 11:43 AM on January 15 [8 favorites]


Agreed. I'd rather not hear about Mars One again unless the article gives the date of their day in court.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:45 AM on January 15 [4 favorites]


Quick! To the Kim Stanley Robinson signal!

(Honestly I don't know terribly much about spaceflight but it seemed to me he worked out all the problems with training, at least. Sure there was some handwavium scattered around in terms of e.g. dropping a functional nuclear reactor on Mars, but still)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:59 AM on January 15 [1 favorite]


Why are we helping them again?

Reporting on their press release isn't helping them. If anyone, it's keeping a steady eye on what they hell they're up to.

Lacking a single scientist or engineer in any of the many fields that would be necessary much less even vaguely relevant to a mission to mars its not even a very good fake, its depressing just how much it doesn't need to be.

They got physicist and doctor, wonder how their careers are handling this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:18 PM on January 15


Haven't I heard this bullshit story before?
posted by tspae at 12:46 PM on January 15


JFK said it best: "First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man/woman/fish on mars and not returning them safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more unimportant for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish. "
posted by blue_beetle at 12:53 PM on January 15 [1 favorite]


Can we volunteer people we'd like to send on this mission?

Justin Beiber
Jenny McCarthy[...]


You want the Prometheus mission, just down the hall. It's a common mistake.
posted by Shepherd at 12:56 PM on January 15 [2 favorites]


How many of the company execs will be taking the trip?
posted by TedW at 1:44 PM on January 15 [1 favorite]


The company execs will follow in the "B" ark.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:05 PM on January 15 [7 favorites]


Bradbury City's first Starbucks is adjacent to the lobby at the Motel 6000.

I'll leave a light out for ya.
posted by mule98J at 12:28 PM on January 16


Mystery Rock 'Appears' in Front of Mars Rover
posted by homunculus at 1:45 PM on January 17 [1 favorite]


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