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January 18, 2014 10:33 AM   Subscribe

Sean Tejaratchi (of LiarTownUSA) brings you the Vermont Pleasures catalog, which answers the vital question "What if the Body Shop made Sex Toys?" (NSFW all around) posted by Potomac Avenue (52 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
"celebrate your body space" is so on target I feel like I need a silkwood shower
posted by The Whelk at 10:36 AM on January 18 [3 favorites]


Someone for fuck's sake give this man a book deal.
posted by griphus at 10:38 AM on January 18 [8 favorites]


VEGAN BODY HUMMUS
posted by The Whelk at 10:39 AM on January 18 [4 favorites]


Ear candling has been a long-standing "oh god make it stop" joke between my best friend and I. Guess what's getting an upgrade!
posted by Mizu at 10:39 AM on January 18 [8 favorites]


There is something about Tejaratchi's stuff that just scratches a perfect (previously unidentified) itch for me.

"Body hummus."

Wonderful. (Full page body hummus ad!)
posted by redsparkler at 10:39 AM on January 18


Also that birch branch thing is a real thing.
posted by griphus at 10:41 AM on January 18


The Vermont Pleasures posts from Liar Town USA add a few sensual gems to the collection.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:41 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


The Tenzing Norgay Commemorative Life-Size Ultraphallus (part of the Ethnic Explorer Series!) is my favorite.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:43 AM on January 18 [2 favorites]


Snake Church!

Apple Cabin Foods is another pleasing series of almostrealness, but his signage remains my favorite. I only wish Christian Family BBQ Supply was real.
posted by redsparkler at 10:44 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]


Tremble's Weepery! Pork Brosnans! Johnny Sandos!

You could Lionel Essrog the hours away with this stuff.
*sigh*
posted by redsparkler at 10:46 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


THE COCK STRIKES THREE
posted by The Whelk at 10:48 AM on January 18


Sam Roddick, founder of 'erotic emporium' Coco de Mer is the daughter of Anita Roddick, founder of the Body Shop. Seemed apt to share that fact here.
posted by Megami at 10:50 AM on January 18


Gentleman's Crevice.

That is all.
posted by allthinky at 10:51 AM on January 18


How do they review?
posted by Artw at 10:55 AM on January 18 [2 favorites]


Gentleman's Crevice is like a single entendre.
posted by odinsdream at 10:58 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]


The stuff at redsparkler's "Apple Cabin Foods" link reads like Achewood at its most surreal.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:59 AM on January 18 [3 favorites]


Sean Tejaratchi is a national treasure. In a way he reminds me of Charlie Brooker circa 2001 or so.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:00 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


Also that birch branch thing is a real thing.

The Finns consider birch whipping an essential part the sauna. Many Finnish grocery stores stock ready made whips in a freezer.
posted by Herr Zebrurka at 11:00 AM on January 18 [5 favorites]


Birching was a legally sanctioned punishment in the Isle of Man until the mid-1970s.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:04 AM on January 18 [2 favorites]


I still think Social Justice Kittens is the best thing on there.
posted by lattiboy at 11:06 AM on January 18 [2 favorites]


Like with Achewood, I am always bowled over by how much like ...suburbian Californian this stuff comes off. It's dead on to the feel and tone of the place.
posted by The Whelk at 11:07 AM on January 18 [2 favorites]


Apple Cabin Foods

YARD MEATS
posted by Artw at 11:11 AM on January 18


The thing that scares me about this one is there isn't any reason for it not to be real, and no reason for it not to take right the fuck off and become real the moment it's spotted in the right context.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:15 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure there's a store in a Burbank minimall that sells all of these things and more.
posted by The Whelk at 11:17 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


ENJOY THE HOMESPUN EROTICA OF YESTERYEAR
posted by The Whelk at 11:18 AM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I only wish Christian Family BBQ Supply was real.

I would probably shop at The Jacket Bastard.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:21 AM on January 18 [3 favorites]


I don't know why everyone thinks Apple Cabin Foods is so funny. It's just what they call things in the UK.
posted by bleep at 11:42 AM on January 18 [4 favorites]


When will the TV miniseries of Stove Wolf be on?
posted by aesop at 11:48 AM on January 18


It's hard for me to enjoy Tejaratchi's stuff. He's been criticised in the past, and his responses are always incredibly disproportionate. I mean, his whole social justice kittens thing is the very worst kind of punching down.

Not only is he completely deaf to any kind of outside input that isn't 100% praise, but he responds with such rage and vitriol that it's tough to find any kind of delightful whimsy in the rest of his work. At least, for me, anyway. YMMV.
posted by aedison at 11:58 AM on January 18 [7 favorites]


Hmm, I wasn't really aware of that history Avery. I've seen him battling on twitter with, like, BroPair but Bropair considers everyone a fascist. I can't help thinking most of his stuff is funny, but those self-defensive posts are just ugly. Food for thought.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:27 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


The original tweet was some pretty gratuitous shit-stirring, but to me the amazeballs starts with Jezebel actually doing a post about it, not with his satiric rejoinder.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:34 PM on January 18 [3 favorites]


I absolutely understand that perspective, George_Spiggott, and I'm far from Jezebel's biggest supporter. But for me it just fit a disquieting pattern of behaviour (search @ShittingtonUK's tweet history for the word "cunt", for instance) which left a bad taste in my mouth. I totally get how other people can feel differently about the guy. As a """marginalised""" person, there a part of me that's all-too happy to hate on popular internet folk - Tejaratchi just makes it very easy.
posted by aedison at 12:47 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I do see what you mean though, much as I'd like to see him get the kind of opportunities his talent merits, there's some indication of a certain lack of emotional maturity there that fame and prominence sometimes can act on like fuel on a fire. Not a prediction, just a low-confidence guess that I'd like to be wrong about.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:51 PM on January 18 [2 favorites]


The perfect toys to accompany reading Christopher Kimball / Bridget Lancaster fanfic.
posted by Nelson at 1:01 PM on January 18 [2 favorites]


I'd be concerned about the grade of sandpaper provided with the carve your own dildo block. Especially given my lack of crafting skills.
posted by arcticseal at 1:35 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


saw this yesterday - there was speculation that it was from LiartownUSA. CONFIRMED.
posted by thelonius at 1:36 PM on January 18


I'm not sure if they grade it but ....coarse.
posted by The Whelk at 1:37 PM on January 18 [2 favorites]


LiarTownUSA is mostly great, and the Apple Cabin Foods series is one of my favorite things on the Internet right now. However, Tejaratchi himself seems like a complete shitloaf ($2/lb, prechewed yes) and I wouldn't be sad to see him get taken down a peg or two.

It'd be so much easier on my brain if unlikeable people only produced unlikeable work.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:43 PM on January 18 [3 favorites]


We went through all of Liar's Town not long ago. People above have already linked Snake Church and Apple "Pork Dillingers" Cabin Foods.

A WORLD LIKE OUR OWN... WITH ONE TERRIFYING DIFFERENCE

Movie Credits for The Fellowship of the Ring

Miracle On The Beach: Goldie The Dog, Toby The Crab And The Extraordinary True Story Of The Healing Power Of God's Love

And what might be my favorite, from the mind of Stephen King:
SOME LEGENDS ARE TRUE: Preheat to 06.14
Now a Major Motion Picture
posted by JHarris at 2:11 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I think Metroid Baby put it well. I really love this and I really love 95% of LiarTown, but the guy himself has a lot of ugly opinions that occasionally cause him to do bad work. (Even that social justice kittens calendar might have been recoverable as absurdism if he weren't constantly At War With The SJWs.)

I've seen him battling on twitter with, like, BroPair but Bropair considers everyone a fascist.

He might have Twitter spats with Bro_Pair, a_girl_irl, pushinghoops, etc., but he's usually badly on the wrong side of them. The cussedness is on his end, not theirs.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 2:49 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


Just noting that nobody seems to have mentioned the Big Book of Online series yet.
posted by rifflesby at 3:35 PM on January 18


From what I've observed of his twitter feed, his problem is basically a very short fuse when dealing with assholes. And a lot of SJW's don't seem to realize that an asshole who is on the right side of an issue is still an asshole. Tejaratchi seems to feel this is detrimental to their cause, and is lashing out due to exasperatedness. That's my reading, anyway.
posted by rifflesby at 3:42 PM on January 18


This is hilarious. So, I went to the mall last night because of self-loathing and the related need to shop for new jeans, and after all that yanking on and off of denim, my hands were uncomfortably dry. So I go into the nearby Body Shop to cadge some "tester" hand lotion, which I spot after dodging the clerk's offers to help me find overpriced smelly crap in a tube. I slather it on, and make a show of looking at the displays so that it's not totally obvious I'm only in there for free hand lotion, and my hands start stinging horribly. Then I feel free to leave without guilt, because ow.

Then I remember that this exact sequence of events happens every time I enter the Body Shop. When I imagine them selling sex toys, all I can think is ow. Stinging.
posted by asperity at 4:50 PM on January 18


Just noting that nobody seems to have mentioned the Big Book of Online series yet.

He made this one, but did he read it?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:14 PM on January 18 [2 favorites]


Ruminating on this the last few hours, I think this case might well speak to a major downside of the Internet's lack of curation. There's a long and storied history of artists being assholes - Walt Disney was a raging anti-Semite, to borrow one of many examples. But most people who watch a Disney film, even one Uncle Walty made, won't know that - because the films were (mostly) edited to prevent that awfulness from reaching sunlight. That doesn't excuse Uncle Walty's assholishness, but it does mean that the things he did that we still like are not avenues for reinforcing that hate.

That's not the case with Twitter and Tumblr, these tools we use to consume a great deal of art now. Subscribing to someone means subscribing to all of them, including the ugly parts, and unfortunately that means the ugly can come into our houses and rear its head when we don't expect it. I know that's not a unique feeling - to borrow from my example, I'm sure Native Americans don't love cuddling up with Peter Pan - but it feels like we in Internet culture have to worry about that more somehow. It's why we say "Don't read the comments," it's for sure why I stay away from a place like Reddit, and it's the reason that keeps coming back when I think about quitting other forms of social media.
posted by Apropos of Something at 5:51 PM on January 18 [2 favorites]


I think this is partly a consequence of TEH INTERNETZ. In the old days, you hardly ever got to meet authors: they often lived a long way away or had been dead for a long time. Now we get a tsunami of content on command, accompanied with introspective essays about what the authors were thinking at the time. And you know what? A lot of people who make things I like, suck. Some of them are racist or homophobic, others are just jerks who can't apologise. We've learned not to read the comments: it turns out that this applies to the authors' comments too.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:45 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I don't know, to me it's part of the beauty of the internet that I don't have to have this guy come over to my house and tell me jokes, I can just get his tumblr in my rss feed. Because damn, now that I know he's the CEO of Exxon and he drives a humvee around while he buys people to work in his sweatshops, and also he wears Crocs, well...

What? He's just a dick to people on Twitter sometimes? I guess I could live with that.

And he uses the word 'cunt'- what? He's a misanthropic English comedian, what the fuck word do you expect him to use?
posted by hap_hazard at 9:22 PM on January 18


And he uses the word 'cunt'- what? He's a misanthropic English comedian, what the fuck word do you expect him to use?

This is needlessly nitpick of me, probably, but he's a US national living in Los Angeles. And even if he was from the UK, we really don't use cunt the way most people in the US seem to think we do.
posted by aedison at 10:04 PM on January 18 [1 favorite]


I don't know why I thought he was a particular English comic, turns out I had my head up my ass. But I don't think it affects the validity of my point!
posted by hap_hazard at 10:35 PM on January 18


MetaFilter: turns out I had my head up my ass. But I don't think it affects the validity of my point!
posted by arcticseal at 2:19 AM on January 19 [5 favorites]


I remember Tejaratchi being the funniest guy on the JimGoad.net message board.
posted by Ennis Tennyone at 3:32 AM on January 19 [1 favorite]


That's how I learned about him too Ennis.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:06 AM on January 19


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