January 24, 2014 1:59 PM   Subscribe

...oh no guys, this is bad this is real bad news ....for me.

If nobody hears from me in a few days know that I died doing what I loved.
posted by The Whelk at 2:12 PM on January 24 [11 favorites]

Forgot to mention: via the always excellent JayIsGames.
posted by saladin at 2:13 PM on January 24

Err, I have 200 food and still can't get a single worker. This may be a good thing as my time would otherwise get sucked away.
posted by arcticseal at 2:15 PM on January 24

It was bad enough when Clicking Bad came with two buttons. This is just absurd.
posted by ckape at 2:15 PM on January 24

On preview: ignore me, I is stupid. I found the build tent button.
posted by arcticseal at 2:15 PM on January 24

Not telling
posted by goethean at 2:15 PM on January 24

posted by elizardbits at 2:16 PM on January 24


(This mostly reminds of A Dark Room, which is a great one. Not quite as polished as that, from what I can tell so far.)
posted by kmz at 2:20 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

My guys keep starving to death before I can put them to work farming.
posted by Curious Artificer at 2:22 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Make sure you have some food left over after building your first dude.
posted by kmz at 2:24 PM on January 24

I got like, 14 people, and managed to upgrade a bunch of stuff, but then I got tired of clicking, so I ended their existence.
posted by Redfield at 2:26 PM on January 24

Hell hath no fury like a bored God.
posted by arcticseal at 2:28 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Oh thank god.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:29 PM on January 24

How do you pause to go to the bathroom? (The bathroom in real life, I mean.)
posted by mudpuppie at 2:30 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Manual save and close the window?
posted by kmz at 2:38 PM on January 24

I got a cat!
posted by mudpuppie at 2:40 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]

Damn that blacksmith is slow.
posted by mudpuppie at 2:45 PM on January 24

Thank you for posting this after I got most of my work done for today! Man this day would have been so unproductive otherwise!
posted by Carillon at 2:53 PM on January 24

Is it spoiling it to tell you that you can just do Menu → Tools → Javascript Console and type increment(stone); or increment(wood); or increment(food); in the console to get a resource of that type?
posted by sonic meat machine at 2:59 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

How do you pause to go to the bathroom? (The bathroom in real life, I mean.)

You're not playing on a tablet or laptop?! Puny god.
posted by anonymisc at 3:01 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Oh neat. I can't wait for AlphaCentauriClicker.
posted by ogooglebar at 3:04 PM on January 24 [3 favorites]

Similarish: Candy Box, Candy Box 2, and A Dark Room
posted by rlio at 3:11 PM on January 24 [3 favorites]

Cat! I'm going to leave this running at work all weekend and see what happens.
posted by arcticseal at 3:14 PM on January 24

My coworkers would look at me real funny if I took my laptop into the bathroom.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:16 PM on January 24

I like this one in that it has mildly more complex economics. Although I've figured out the basic Farmer/Wood/Miners thing now, let's see if there's any extra complexity. If only there were a "Nerve Stapling" upgrade to work the peons harder; guess we'll have to wait for that AlphaCentauriClicker.
posted by Nelson at 3:34 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]

As you start building more and more, you will have to manage your available land. You only have so much space to start with. The only way to acquire more land is to conquer other areas, and of course you'll need a military.

There are also deities you can worship that, as more piety and devotion are generated, unlock special abilities. These can actually carry-over to a reset game, meaning eventually you can have a pantheon with bonuses.

Unfortunately, if it's an ability that requires special interaction (like converting corpses into zombies), those will only be available if that deity is your current one. Other bonuses like cats healing sick workers should still be in effect if you've moved to a different deity.

Wonders are a pain, but worth it again for the bonuses and carry-over into reset games. And this time you're not competing against other civs for wonder completion.
posted by CancerMan at 3:44 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Is there a way to export the save game file? Would love to keep working on this at home...
posted by nubs at 4:01 PM on January 24

btw, this makes it nicer:
var gs = function() { increment(wood); increment(stone); increment(food); }
var gs2 = function() { gs();gs();gs();gs();gs(); }
var gs3 = function() { gs2(); gs2();gs2();gs2();gs2(); }
var gs4 = function() { gs3(); gs3(); gs3(); gs3(); gs3(); }
Then just run gs4() for the basic clicks.

(Loops work too but I found that they lag more, weirdly.)
posted by sonic meat machine at 4:03 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

I dig the "work safe mode". Great to have a professional white background.
posted by NoraReed at 4:04 PM on January 24

Is there a way to export the save game file? Would love to keep working on this at home...

Top right corner of the page.
posted by CancerMan at 4:05 PM on January 24

Aha - thanks cancer man. Now my family has a chance of seeing me for dinner.
posted by nubs at 4:06 PM on January 24

Something just started eating all my piety. I have 30 clerics. What gives?
posted by mudpuppie at 4:10 PM on January 24

If you start progress on a Wonder, apparently it eats piety.
posted by delfin at 4:23 PM on January 24

wonder building brings down your piety ( i think)
posted by tofu_crouton at 4:24 PM on January 24

Wonder building eats every resource you have. The more laborers you assign to the wonder, the more resources are consumed. Sometimes you can strike a nice balance between laborers and resource production, but that can take a while (more resources requires more workers requires more housing requires more land requires more military, etc etc etc).
posted by CancerMan at 4:27 PM on January 24

One drawback of this game is that there's almost never a time when you can just let it run and build up, there's almost always something you personally can be doing to speed your civ's rate of advancement, meaning there's always that feeling you should be doing something to help our your village/town/city/nation.

And anyway the caps on food, wood and stone mean you can't really let it run long without hitting maximums unless you spend a lot of wood on cap-raising buildings.
posted by JHarris at 4:35 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

I found that someone had some javascript code up on github that made Clicking Bad much better.
posted by Catblack at 5:32 PM on January 24

I keep trying to create 10 workers at a time, which immediately depletes my food stores and then half of them die.

When will I learn?
posted by Sara C. at 6:02 PM on January 24

I feel like I'm learning something about band-based societies right now.
posted by Sara C. at 6:04 PM on January 24

I left it going while I went to dinner and now I have tons of resources but my people hate me. They're apparently angry. I even let them bury their corpses, I don't know what else they could possibly want from me.
posted by NoraReed at 6:33 PM on January 24

Seems like assigning laborers to build your Wonder is a waste; I've got .4% so far from laborers, and 9% from buying Wonder with gold.
posted by jepler at 6:37 PM on January 24

How the hell do you get more ore?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:40 PM on January 24

Do you have prospecting? You have to get that in order for your miners to collect ore; before that you can only get it by clicking.
posted by NoraReed at 6:41 PM on January 24

There are three upgrades that affect ore production (Prospecting, Extraction, Maceration). Also make sure your blacksmiths aren't using it up as quickly as you get it.
posted by delfin at 6:42 PM on January 24

No, you need 10 ore to get prospecting, and I only have 4 ore. I collect a shit-ton of stone, but I don't know how to get ore.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:44 PM on January 24

How the hell do you get more ore?

Don't do anything that uses ore until you have more than 10 ore. Then upgrade so that miners produce ore. If you use ore before you upgrade, you'll never get any more of it.
posted by mudpuppie at 6:44 PM on January 24

I found that using miners without any upgrades produced no ore; but gathering it by clicking myself did. Since you need ore for the upgrades, I had to do that to prime the pump, so to speak. Generally I find myself regarding stone as a waste byproduct of ore.
posted by Runcible! at 6:56 PM on January 24

There's a lot of frustration levels built in; after a while, the basic food/wood/stone resources are almost entirely irrelevant, and you're really after the skins/herbs/ore (and their processed versions). So I have hundreds of woodcutters, out in the woods sawing log after log even though I don't have anywhere else to put the wood (I've invaded other countries, just to have a place to store surplus wood), and none of them can be arsed to put down the axe for a while and just pick the goddamn herbs, which is all I really want.

And the idiocy of the wonder mechanism; I have 40K people and can't provide enough resources for 100 labourers. I seem to recall actual real world wonders being like, just a giant pile of stone built by tens of thousands of workers.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 7:04 PM on January 24 [3 favorites]

you have solved the mystery of the pyramids
posted by elizardbits at 7:09 PM on January 24

So I got bored and cheated. When you complete your wonder, you get to choose a bonus of any one of the 9 non-gold resources.
posted by jepler at 7:10 PM on January 24

870 wolves attacked
posted by Flunkie at 7:46 PM on January 24 [5 favorites]

.. on subsequent plays the Wonders get even more tedious to complete. I dunno who would last long enough to get the "seven" achievement, I sure didn't even when I was cheating.
posted by jepler at 8:03 PM on January 24

I just got attacked by over 10000 wolves. That's kind of horrifying.
posted by aubilenon at 8:57 PM on January 24 [2 favorites]

oops. Watch out for the custom increments. I just built 200000 tanneries by accident!
posted by aubilenon at 9:25 PM on January 24

I have 17 cats. I have decided that this means I'm winning.

(They are shared among a population of 496K imaginary people, so I am not a crazy cat lady.)
posted by jacquilynne at 9:46 PM on January 24 [1 favorite]

Goddamn wolves whacked us, Johnny.
posted by rhizome at 10:25 PM on January 24

Oh god.

I haven't even beat that pony-brushing game, and here's another time sink
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:18 PM on January 24

Run this a few times in your js console instead.
setInterval(function(){ increment(wood); increment(stone); increment(food) }, 100)

posted by rouftop at 11:32 PM on January 24

No no just run this it's even faster:

alert("YOU WIN");
posted by ook at 1:29 AM on January 25 [4 favorites]

Less exhausting to build a gigantic barn, wait until it's full, and THEN build all of your population all at once.

(And the death deity is great. March on neighbouring nation with 100,000 troops. They all die. Great, instantly resurrect them as 100,000 zombies.)
posted by mr. strange at 2:28 AM on January 25 [1 favorite]

Otisburg progresses.

My biggest worry at this point is trying to guess how many soldiers I'll need to take out the next level (Nation at this point), because going in with too few wipes out your whole force.
posted by delfin at 9:37 AM on January 25

I fell asleep and my large town of 7000 MADE ALL THE THINGS.

Maybe I should rename us to Dubai.
posted by Sara C. at 9:44 AM on January 25

OK, I've conquered several empires, built a wonder, etc. It got really tedious at the end. Now I've reset it and have started a new "hermit" game. I clicked enough basic resources to build one tent, and create one worker, plus one extra food to keep him alive in the moment between "create worker" and "assign farmer". No more humans allowed (unless the hermit dies, in which case a new hermit will take over where the old one left off), and no more resource clicking allowed.

While I was typing that last paragraph, a wolf ate the hermit. He had accumulated 124 food. A new hermit has taken over.

My current long-term goal is to build enough barns, wood stockpiles, or stone stockpiles (I haven't decided which one yet) in order to be able to accumulate enough of one of the raw resources to be able to sell it to a trader. That way I can use the gold to purchase skins, herbs, and ore, which I will need in order to pay for the upgrades that enable me to start collecting those three things by myself.
posted by Flunkie at 11:14 AM on January 25 [1 favorite]

Guys I think I'm the Carthaginians.
posted by Sara C. at 11:32 AM on January 25 [1 favorite]

I managed to get an army of 500k+ that can destroy any other empire with only marginal damage - see screenshot.

It becomes really easy at the end!
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 5:27 PM on January 25 [1 favorite]

The Empire of Booklyn is dedicated to Ranganathan, Deity of Cats!

I like this thing.
posted by box at 6:51 PM on January 25

Oooh, I just started a hermit playthrough as well. Sorry to steal your idea. Wouldn't barns be the best thing to concentrate capacity on, as it's the resource you can get while not starving to death? Or is food less likely to sell, or something?
posted by Earthtopus at 10:22 PM on January 25

Maybe just one other person. It gets lonely there in a two-person tent. The wolf attacks might get a bit more carnage-ful, though.
posted by Earthtopus at 11:29 PM on January 25

A tent's only one person, though?

I'm thinking about barns rather than wood or stone stockpiles too, for the reason you described, but I'm not sure yet. I've been keeping track of what traders (who I have noticed) wanted, and the lowest I've seen for wood has been a lot lower than the lowest I've seen for food or stone (15,000 vs. 55,000 and 60,000, respectively). It might just be random luck that the wood one was a lot lower, but I don't know, so I might go for wood first.

That decision is still in the future, though - for now I've decided to get any immediately useful things that I can with just food, wood and stone before starting to stock up for the trader. So I've got masonry and irrigation, and I'm working on building enough wood and stone stockpiles to get granaries, the wheel and some mills, and maybe construction (I forget whether or not construction will unlock anything that's currently useful for me). Right now I have storage for 400 food, 800 wood, and 200 stone, so the immediate concern is getting it up to 400/1000/1000 for granaries and construction. The wheel is cheaper than that, but I think I want to see what's up with construction first before getting the wheel.

Now thinking about it a little more as I'm typing this, maybe I will go for food as the first trading item, after granaries and mills, since it will be quicker and (if the random trader amounts are the same) require less storage than any of the others. I think I'll probably go for 15,000 food (plus some small "post-trade survival" amount), then 15,000 wood, then 15,000 stone, and then start moving each up in increments of 5,000 (which I believe is the greatest common divisor of the values that traders want).

I've been changing my name for each new hermit after each wolf attack, in the "I, II, III, IV" scheme. I feel like I've probably missed doing that for a few new hermits, but in any case, I'm up to XXV. Poor XXIV, last night - just before I went to bed, I told him to farm the fields. He filled up the barns 100%, then he too went to bed. Then a wolf ate him before he or I woke up.

Hmmm... just checked again after having typed all of the above. I'm now at XXVI.
posted by Flunkie at 6:39 AM on January 26

Ooooooh, "Trader wants 5000 stone"! So I'll just go in increments of 5000 for each of them.
posted by Flunkie at 8:19 AM on January 26

Oh, yeah, I noticed that about tents riiiiiiight after I posted. Wish I'd thought of the Roman numerals thing: makes it quite a bit more roguelikey.

It would be nice if there were something you could do to hide from wolf attacks, but as it is I'm having fun and getting a surprising amount of reading done while playing...
posted by Earthtopus at 9:43 AM on January 26

I'm hoping that fortifications will (partially) protect against wolves even if you don't have any soldiers or cavalry, but I'm guessing they probably won't.
posted by Flunkie at 10:14 AM on January 26 [1 favorite]

I have ten thousand mansions, thirty houses, ten cottages, two huts and one tent. I think my nation may have a gentrification problem.
posted by pemberkins at 11:12 AM on January 26 [6 favorites]

Dazedly emerging to shake my fist at saladin.
Days I have wasted on this, days!
posted by Catch at 1:24 AM on January 27 [1 favorite]

pemberkins: I have ten thousand mansions, thirty houses, ten cottages, two huts and one tent. I think my nation may have a gentrification problem.

Once they became essentially free, I built bunches of the "lower class" housing options specifically to avoid that "problem".
posted by Rock Steady at 7:16 AM on January 27

I have a hundred cats!
posted by box at 5:35 PM on January 27

I'm still doing the damn thing too, but I am rapidly losing confidence in the labourers in charge of the Ziggurat.

"So, um, how's the Ziggurat coming along?"

"Oh, swell, it's coming along real nice - we're going to need a LOT more skins, though."

"What the FUCK do you need all those skins for to build a FUCKING ZIGGURAT???!?!?"
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:45 PM on January 27 [2 favorites]

Done. Well, that was underwhelming.
posted by Curious Artificer at 3:48 PM on January 28

Yeah, I thought maybe I could get multiple Wonders or something, which is pretty much the only thing remaining, but now I just fend off Bandits and zap the occasional Empire. There's still question marks in the Achievements, though, so who knows what's going on there. I also have like 1.4MM farmers and a bunch of everything else, but it says my current population is around 1MM.

41 cats, though, which is nice.
posted by rhizome at 5:07 PM on January 28

You can hit reset and start again to get more wonders and worship different gods, which offer different benefits.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:50 PM on January 28

Yeah, it's basically turned into deity Pokemon over here
posted by ook at 6:15 PM on January 28

Oh, there's soft-reset like Cookieclicker? The UX is a little lacking.
posted by rhizome at 6:37 PM on January 28

Interesting. My Underworld worshippers just hit a point where I have no live people anymore - everything is being carried out by zombies. I am a Thorp capable of invading large cities...
posted by nubs at 7:35 PM on January 28 [1 favorite]

As I worship a cat god, it seemed only fitting my wonder be the World's Largest Lolcat.

Most bloody expensive as well, if the number of resources are to go by.
posted by gadge emeritus at 9:02 PM on January 28

I'm gonna get that neverclick achievement if it kills me. Or gives me RSI, whichever comes first.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:51 AM on January 29

Been doing one of those 22-click one-person (well, many, many people eaten by wolves) playthrough all week. It's pretty meditative.

I just got my first cat! And granaries, and have capacity for 5800/1000/1000. Going to skip the wheel/mills; looking at the source they don't offer any real benefit with only one guy around.

I hope to eventually get lucky and trade food for gold (actually not sure if the trader will take food, but I have seen him offer gold for 250 stone, so low values may not ultimately destroy the game, buy some herbs, and build a temple. Then I can alternate my time between chopping wood, putting food in granaries, and just hanging out at the cat temple with my cat(s?).
posted by Earthtopus at 4:28 PM on January 30

I'm at basically the same point - 4600/1000/1000, granaries, construction, irrigation, the wheel, one mill. You're right, mills are basically worthless in this scenario. I was very disappointed when I finally got a mill, and my net food output went from 0.3 per second to 0.3 per second.

The trader definitely takes food.

Are you sure about the 250 stone? Might it have possibly been 250 ore? I still haven't seen (well, noticed) any food / wood / stone offer that was not a multiple of 5000.
posted by Flunkie at 6:07 AM on January 31

It was possibly ore. Anyway, I've definitely seen offers in the 1750/3000 range and even one or two 500s in a different run. Sorry you wasted your time on the mill; according to the source it only adds like 1/200 to a multiplier that your whole food output is multiplied by.

It's almost as if the game was never intended to be played that way! *grins*
posted by Earthtopus at 8:41 AM on January 31

Julien Thiennot and Incremental Games
Cookie Clicker was created last fall by 24-year-old French game designer Julien Thiennot, who goes by the nickname Orteli. Thiennot has been making games since childhood, though ‟game designer” in the traditional sense may not be quite the best way to describe what he does. Like the post-modern playwright who can’t help but break the fourth wall every chance she gets, Thiennot’s games are all about pointing gigantic flashing arrows at gaming conventions most people take for granted. As much as the things Thiennot creates can be considered games, they’re also ingeniously twisted works of wry conceptual art.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:23 PM on February 12

I fell down the Cookie Clicker rabbit hole after playing Civ Clicker, mutter mutter, gateway drug.
posted by Catch at 1:37 PM on February 12

I only need the Wonders achievement, and I have four-hundred-some cats and six Wonders completed. The hardest part is hitting the reset button on those fully-functioning Empires.
posted by box at 7:22 PM on February 12 [1 favorite]

How do you get the Neverclick one? I can't figure out how to get started on that one, and I think I have too many cats now to ever be able to get the Plagued one.
posted by Curious Artificer at 1:14 PM on February 24

Also, for the curious - if you hold on to your gold the whole time you can just BUY a Wonder once you accumulate 15,000 gold (at which point you will just about be an Empire if you aren't already), and by so doing avoid the tedious resource-draining the Wonder production involves and just concentrate on your Empire-building.
posted by Curious Artificer at 1:29 PM on February 24 [1 favorite]

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