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Jamie Casino's got murder, vengeance, and a flaming sledgehammer.
February 3, 2014 8:21 AM   Subscribe

Personal injury lawyer Jamie Casino of Savannah, GA really went all out with his Metal as ___ Super Bowl ad (SLYT).
posted by T.D. Strange (59 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
Were he a character in a movie, we'd pillory the writer because it just beggars belief. Magnificently, head-explodingly crazy.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:30 AM on February 3


Self-servingly self-aggrandizing. Also, self-congratulatory. Probably not self-aware.

But pretty metal.
posted by GuyZero at 8:32 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]


Does he wear mascara in court too?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:34 AM on February 3


The whole thing about his murdered brother is apparently true. No idea how handling slip and fall cases is going to avenge his brother's death, but there you go.
posted by dortmunder at 8:38 AM on February 3 [4 favorites]


And his name's Casino? I wonder if he also does estate planning for chemistry teachers with terminal cancer?
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:38 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]


I live in Savannah and was watching the game with other locals. This spot completely blow our minds and at first we thought it was TV series coming to town. Combine this with the ridiculous non-sportsing by the Broncos and I swear some of use were checking to see if reality had been warped by the Elder Gods.

THE AGE OF SUPER BOWL ADS IS OVER AND JAMIE CASINO HAS WON.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:38 AM on February 3 [15 favorites]


Who wants to write a Law & Order Meets Eastbound & Down pilot with me?
posted by GameDesignerBen at 8:41 AM on February 3 [9 favorites]


Speaking of lawyers with strangely (in)appropriate names, an old roommate went through a divorce with his wife represented by a guy named Terminello. We mixed his telephone message into a music track.
posted by exogenous at 8:42 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


Holy shit. Usually I'm underwhelmed when I read stories like this, but that is fucking crazy. It's like a scene from that Mexican soap opera on King of the Hill.

He's in the Metal Zone.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:44 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


The whole thing about his murdered brother is apparently true. No idea how handling slip and fall cases is going to avenge his brother's death, but there you go.

Apparently he handles criminal defense too, although that doesn't seem very avenging either. But maybe slightly more avenging than corporate/insurance defense work?

And Deadspin comments deliver as usual:

dope>Tom Ley

*Not a Joke*

Transcript from conversation with the law firm of Jamie Casino:

Lorie: "Thank you for calling the Casino law firm this is Lorie."

Me: "I'd like to speak with Jamie Casino."

Lorie: Okay he's actually not in the office yet. Is there something I can help you with?

Me: Yeah, um, I saw his ad,

Lorie: "mmm—hmm"

Me: "and um. it was so awesome that I would like to injure myself so that he can represent me. [Laughter] Do you have... like uh uh... some sort of protocol, uh, or like some sort of list or way I can do so legally so that I can have him represent me, for some sort of financial gain?"

Lorie: "Oh my gosh... [background laughter], no. But uh, we also, we do personal injury and we also do criminal defense."

Me: "I thought he wasn't representing villains anymore."

Lorie: "Noo, he's not representing villains. He's representing the other end."

Me: "What if I'm a villain with a lot of money?"

Lorie: "Um.. [laughter]… I have no idea. I mean, we offer free consultation so you're welcome to come in."

Me: "Okay, so he'll meet... with villains… okay okay, I think I understand."
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:44 AM on February 3 [8 favorites]


I'll work with you on that pilot, if you work with mine -- The Crow 2: Habeas Corpus, starring Nicholas Cage as Jamie Casino.
posted by penduluum at 8:44 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]


A guy I went to high school with works at that law firm and worked on the commercial project. He's been hinting on facebook all week that something epic was going to go down. It's nice to see that it actually did.
posted by phunniemee at 8:44 AM on February 3 [6 favorites]


It could have been better - a guest spot from the Cold Steel guy, slicing up some watermelons, would put this bitch up to 11
posted by thelonius at 8:46 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]


I'm a pretty annoyed that he characterizes representing criminal defendants as representing villains.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:47 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]


The Crow 2

It's gonna have to be like The Crow 5 or whatever. Yeah, they made more of them.
posted by kmz at 8:48 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


Yeah, they made more of them.

Really? Do any of them star personal injury lawyers? I might have to scour the Deep Netflix.
posted by penduluum at 8:49 AM on February 3


Previously. I like the old one better.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:50 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


This is truly a thing of wonder and beauty. The only thing that could make it more amazing would be music by Jim Steinman.
posted by asperity at 8:56 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


And the two-handed great sword from Cold Steel.
posted by thelonius at 8:59 AM on February 3


I'm a pretty annoyed that he characterizes representing criminal defendants as representing villains.

I don't think he does. Apparently he still does criminal defense work. Just, uh, not for villians.

Villain defense is a specialized practice area, I guess.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:00 AM on February 3 [8 favorites]


No idea how handling slip and fall cases is going to avenge his brother's death, but there you go

Maybe he was murdered by an Occupier
posted by Hoopo at 9:02 AM on February 3




We could get etymological on this. The word villain comes from the Late Latin villanus, or farmhand. Meaning one who does not own property (and thus is not bound by a chivalric or aristocratic code of conduct and thus meaning someone who does evil, of course).

So perhaps, by saying he doesn't represent villains, he is saying you need to have some real estate as collateral so he knows the bill is going to get paid.
posted by idiopath at 9:07 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]


I'm a pretty annoyed that he characterizes representing criminal defendants as representing villains.


He was implying that he used to be a badass mafia associate, but now he's out to help the little guy.
posted by Think_Long at 9:16 AM on February 3 [3 favorites]


Also - where does one find a flaming sledgehammer with a cross? Does Ed Hardy have a line at Lowes?
posted by Think_Long at 9:17 AM on February 3 [6 favorites]


Having watched this a few times now, why does he smash his brother's tombstone?
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:19 AM on February 3 [12 favorites]


It really needed to finish with an explosion, while he walked away, while not looking at said explosion.

My edit;
Walking away from flaming grave still carrying sledge hammer

He stops, does a 180 spin and hurls the hammer at the grave from abt 50 feet

Cut to slo-mo of hammer hitting grave stone

Cut to shot of Casino with grave exploding behind him while he walks away (arrange for wind that makes his overcoat blow out like a cowboy duster) with a determined look.
posted by boilermonster at 9:20 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure how a flaming sledgehammer is useful in court.

Judge: "Council for the plaintiff will please note that I am the only one permitted to bang on the furniture with a hammer, and Mr. Casino, this is a non-smoking facility."
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:29 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]


At least Austin's Metal Lawyer LOOKS metal.
posted by Seamus at 9:32 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


Wait, the final shot of the commercial got truncated.

Oh, hi, plaintiff!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:33 AM on February 3 [9 favorites]


As a piece of filmmaking (?) it's phenomenal. But I can't imagine watching this and deciding 'Yes, this is the person I want representing me in court'.
posted by TheShadowKnows at 9:33 AM on February 3


This is truly a thing of wonder and beauty. The only thing that could make it more amazing would be music by Jim Steinman.

Poster design and jacket illustration by Richard Corbin. My thought was Ghost Rider but it's really more like House of Mystery.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:34 AM on February 3


So, not above walking over his dead brother to make a buck, both figuratively and literally.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:45 AM on February 3 [5 favorites]


Wait, he's a personal injury lawyer? His brother's murder turned him from a defense attorney to villains to a personal injury lawyer? I was expecting he became the crusading district attorney and this was his re-election ad.

At least, that's how it was working as the movie in my head as he dragged his flaming sledgehammer in the soft earth.
posted by nubs at 9:47 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]


"Dad, was that your new commercial?"


"I don't know..."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:00 AM on February 3 [2 favorites]


Poster design and jacket illustration by Richard Corbin.

Derek Riggs, I'd say.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:06 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


I'm going to smash my bro's tombstone and become a personal injury lawyer! I'm sure the studios are lining up to option this one.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:09 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


This isn't some clever viral promo for Better Call Saul, right?
posted by nubs at 10:19 AM on February 3 [8 favorites]


Wait, he's a personal injury lawyer? His brother's murder turned him from a defense attorney to villains to a personal injury lawyer? I was expecting he became the crusading district attorney and this was his re-election ad.

At least, that's how it was working as the movie in my head as he dragged his flaming sledgehammer in the soft earth.


It sorta makes sense? Maybe? His brother was killed by violent criminals, and the police investigation stalled. So he switched his focus to personal injury, because it's a lot easier to sue someone for wrongful death than it is to prosecute them for murder.

Of course, his other ads are about car insurance companies, so ... yeah, I dunno.
posted by kafziel at 10:21 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


Well that was pretty interesting but does anyone know what happened to Mrs. Casino?
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 10:33 AM on February 3 [1 favorite]


I can't imagine watching this and deciding 'Yes, this is the person I want representing me in court'.

Me neither, but...

I deal with people at my job in a capacity that frequently involves legal action. I have sat through Settlement Conferences where unrepresented plaintiffs are surprised to learn that they have to supply evidence and prove their own cases. I have had people threaten to sue because they don't understand the bit of legislation I've quoted from. As in, they want to challenge the relevant legislation because "how am I supposed to understand this". People love a guy they think will stick it to those fat cats that own the mall/work at City Hall/whatever. Some want to believe that all it takes to succeed in the legal system is to feel really justified about your position.
posted by Hoopo at 12:02 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]


Damn. And I thought the lawyer on billboards around town with the eye patch was bad ass.
posted by stltony at 12:18 PM on February 3


He makes the ambulance chasers we see on our local stations (Syracuse and Binghamton) look like wusses, that's for sure. Crazy.

Well that was pretty interesting but does anyone know what happened to Mrs. Casino?

Eh, he was dithering over what to get her for Xmas on his twitter feed around Thanksgiving. If she has any sense she has excused herself from the drama and concentrated on enjoying their mcmansion and boat.
posted by aught at 12:59 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]




This commercial was indeed amazing... and left me with a strong hankering to watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.
posted by TwoStride at 3:36 PM on February 3


As a piece of filmmaking (?) it's phenomenal. But I can't imagine watching this and deciding 'Yes, this is the person I want representing me in court'.

The type of person who needs this guy representing them in court are probably all. over. it.

He will be a rich man...
posted by Chuffy at 4:21 PM on February 3


I bet I know what I'll see pop up about lawyer advertising in CLE this year.
posted by dilettante at 4:25 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


"My art brought me great wealth, until one my day my little brother Michael and his friend were two of four people whose lives were taken."

Yikes. Sorry about your loss, but that is a terrible sentence.
posted by Saxon Kane at 4:50 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


So, basically, for a fee, he'll vandalize your loved ones' graves?
posted by Sys Rq at 4:55 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]




At least Austin's Metal Lawyer LOOKS metal.
posted by Seamus at 9:32 AM on February 3 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]


I'm going to have to see some evidence for that claim, Seamus. That link is borked but I must know the metal lawyer, if only to tease my dad.
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:59 PM on February 3


So, basically, for a fee, he'll vandalize your loved ones' graves?

With a flaming sledgehammer. This is real simple, y'all.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:10 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


With a flaming sledgehammer.

I already have a guy for that.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:51 PM on February 3


I love how the kid is about to laugh in his one shot, like he's definitely at least heard the idea and seen some shots of the rest of the commercial outside his part.
posted by sweetkid at 7:55 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


So this guy is a personal injury lawyer in the same way that Saul Goodman is a criminal lawyer?
posted by McCoy Pauley at 8:06 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]


"I can't imagine watching this and deciding 'Yes, this is the person I want representing me in court'."

I would hire this guy.

A) If he has enough money to run that ad during the SuperBowl, he must be fairly successful at what he does.

B) If I had to hire a personal injury attorney, he seems like he'd be fun to interact with in an otherwise tediously unpleasant ordeal.
posted by Jacqueline at 8:31 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


A) If he has enough money to run that ad during the SuperBowl, he must be fairly successful at what he does.

It's a local ad. It probably only aired on WTGS. Even during the Super Bowl, that can't be all that pricey.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:52 PM on February 3


"Having watched this a few times now, why does he smash his brother's tombstone?"

The tombstone represents his guilt — he is plagued by self-recrimination. Guilt that his parents paid his way through university and law school, as the favored son, while his brother struggled, only to use that legal education to accumulate money and a nice house and expensive cars by defending villainous criminals. Guilt that he wasn't close to his brother, that he spent more time with his wicked clients; guilt that the night his brother was killed, he was meeting a greasy mobster in the back of an armor-plated luxury SUV. Guilt that the police chief was slow to investigate the murder because of a longstanding grudge that dated back to a "not guilty" verdict in a trial where the chief was the arresting officer and he was the defense attorney. Guilt that he knew he'd been wasting his life, but changed nothing.

With his sledgehammer, he destroys his old life, the edifice of his failure, the silent memorial of his brother's death, and in a conflagration of rage he remakes himself, reborn as an avatar of everything his brother deserved, a gladiator of righteous fury, a bringer of justice to those who maim and kill, the memory of his brother personified.

Or possibly because HE WIELDS THE SLEDGEHAMMER OF LAW AND WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP, YO.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:36 AM on February 4 [7 favorites]




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