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BUT I DIDN'T FREAKING TOUCH IT!!
February 3, 2014 7:45 PM   Subscribe

Do not play this game. You will be dead in seconds. Did it get popular using sneaky tactics? Probably not. But do you want it to haunt your dreams? No, you don't. Stave off your existential despair in some other way. I repeat, do not play this game.
posted by cashman (116 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

 
But can I not not play it in my browser?
posted by Going To Maine at 7:50 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]


Got a high score of 2. Deleting immediately. This game is the devil.
posted by Sokka shot first at 7:54 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]


Maddening. And every clocked second in the game is actually like a second and a half.
posted by mochapickle at 7:59 PM on February 3


Okay, that's like the result of an assignment to create a one-button version of QWOP. Also, in Donkey Kong Country Returns there are a number of stages which are essentially this, and they are absolutely teeth-shatteringly frustrating.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:02 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


I got 7 before I gave up and deleted it this afternoon.
posted by dobbs at 8:07 PM on February 3


I have a 7 year old.... reverse psychology doesn't work on me any more.... and thus I haven't even tried the thing... ;-)

There are too many things like Bubble Shooter, Avocadolite Farm, Spider, all waiting to suck away any excess free time, with out the frustration. ;-)
posted by MikeWarot at 8:22 PM on February 3


Man, fuck this bird.
posted by Iridic at 8:28 PM on February 3 [11 favorites]


I saw this in the app store and though "ha ha flappy bird, what a name".

I did not realize one does not mock flappy bird.
posted by smidgen at 8:29 PM on February 3 [18 favorites]


I like this game. I like it a lot.

The reason it works is similar to the reason that Super Meat Boy works. It feels impossible initially, but by practicing over time you get incrementally better in ways that you can't detect in the moment, and over time, sure enough you get almost good. Then before you know it you are doing swoop dives to make the lower passes and narrowly avoiding a crash landing, and you aren't quite sure why you can do it now, but couldn't even come close yesterday.

What is really key with this game is that the opportunity for the next run is really pretty short between deaths, so it feels as if it's worth investing at least one more shot (like in Super Meat Boy).

Simple mechanics, deep satisfaction for building a skill set that happens peace-meal and in a way that is rewarding in ways that you can't quite put your finger on.

Also, the aesthetic is just great. The bird is cute, and the graphics create a bit of familiar nostalgia. The colors and time of day change up between runs to give it just enough variability.

I was pretty surprised that I like this game, as I thought I'd hate it. My high score, by the way, is 13.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:30 PM on February 3 [8 favorites]


A whole new generation is introduced to helicopter games.
posted by Quilford at 8:31 PM on February 3 [8 favorites]


It's no super hexagon.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 8:35 PM on February 3 [6 favorites]


They should make it controllable via microphone and you have to shout "BAWK!" to flap. BAWK BAWK BAWK
posted by jason_steakums at 8:51 PM on February 3 [34 favorites]


11 iOS & Android games that are like Flappy Bird but way better
posted by rifflesby at 8:54 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]


I saw this post and decided to keep playing this game until I had a double-digit high score. It's 11 now. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:55 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]


The very first time I played this game, I got 2.

I have never managed to make it through even a single gate since then. Not one. Not ever. I feel like the first game was just to get me hooked.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:07 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


Remember the third level of Battletoads? The one with the bikes and the walls and the barely contained fury of inevitable defeat?

This is worse.
posted by m@f at 9:13 PM on February 3 [6 favorites]


Man. A friend of mine mentioned it on saturday, so sunday morning I downloaded it while laying in bed. After 15 minutes I had managed a high score of 2.

Then somehow drinking later in the day gave me super powers because I have a high score of 54.
posted by Stunt at 9:16 PM on February 3 [10 favorites]


My favorite one-button game was always Canabalt...
posted by kaibutsu at 9:42 PM on February 3 [4 favorites]


For a one-second game, it sure is slow...to start a new game, you have to tap OK, then tap START, then tap the screen, then fly for roughly four seconds until you reach the first pipe. Which you immediately smash into, meaning you have to do it all over again. And again. And just one more, just until you beat your high score...
posted by Ian A.T. at 9:50 PM on February 3 [2 favorites]


A whole new generation is introduced to helicopter games.

Yeah it's like one of those helicopter or cave worm games except worse because you have to keep tapping instead of just holding the button to go up and releasing it to go down.
posted by straight at 10:07 PM on February 3


Also, this is the first time ever that my kids have told me about something before I read about it on MetaFilter.
posted by straight at 10:10 PM on February 3 [3 favorites]


I love this game because everybody is as shitty at it as I am.

Or, at least, that's what I tell myself.
posted by Sara C. at 10:35 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


10:29pm: Fuck it. I'm going in.

10:30pm: Over 525,000...reviews? Installs? Wow.

10:31pm: [ OPEN ]

10:31pm: This doesn't seem hard, if I just...fuck

10:31pm: What if I hit the pipe with my ass I lose too?

10:31pm: Top of my head? It's like another ass.

10:32pm: I GOT 2 MUTHERFUCKER

10:32pm: maybe if I take my glasses off

10:32pm: FOUR I GOT FOUR I AM SUPERMAN

10:33pm: that head slapping sound doesn't sound even a little like a pipe

10:33pm: 10:33 stands for i got three ok start

10:34pm: the only thing suppressing my rage is pausing to type these comments ok start

10:34pm: feet count like ass and head dammit ok start

10:35pm: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuOKSATART

10:36pm: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOkstart

10:35pm: i am so blinded by rage i either misread the time last time or time is going backwarsd

10:36pm: i cant even

10:36pm: this seemed like a funny idae before but now I just dont know ok START

10:37pm: i pictured the bird as an old man's head with flapping ears and I smiled but then THREE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOkastart

10:37pm: i might be in my happy place because I didn't mind the 2 points that time

10:38pm: the advertisers associated with this are just going to get really angry clicks

10:38pm: SCORE 5 NEW BEST 5 ok im done

10:39pm: get out of my phone you goddamn flapping ear old man

posted by davejay at 10:39 PM on February 3 [24 favorites]


NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY.

You people are not getting me to join your gibbering clan of lunacy.
posted by jrochest at 10:45 PM on February 3 [5 favorites]


I just found out about this not from Forbes but from Windows Phone Central because it's coming to WP8. So I checked it out on my iPad - I'll play games on other platforms but only if they're also on either W8 or WP but preferably on both, like Into the Dead or Hill Climb Racing - and got hooked instantly.

My high score is 20, which is enough for a silver medal. 10 gets you a bronze. I don't know what the other medal thresholds are and, sadly, probably never will find out.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:46 PM on February 3


I downloaded it last night, got a score of 10, posted a screenshot to tumblr and am not looking back. I will flap, flap, flap into a pipeless future.
posted by rewil at 10:54 PM on February 3


Got up to 7 right now and I am going to bed.
posted by cortex at 10:56 PM on February 3


Got up to 7 right now and I am going to bed.

10:57pm: NO YOU'RE NOT FLAP FLAP FLAP
posted by davejay at 10:57 PM on February 3 [9 favorites]


Every one finds their doom. Some find it in the bottom of a bottle, some in the arms of a lover. Mine lies deep in the frozen mountains. Your's, well your's is a bird, that flaps, on a phone. God help you, child, god help you.
posted by fallingbadgers at 11:01 PM on February 3 [5 favorites]


Sigh. Wake me when this is an iOS version of Pyoro, or, especially, Pyoro 2.
posted by JHarris at 11:56 PM on February 3 [1 favorite]


The medals continue every 10. Getting 30 is a gold, and 40 was platinum. Nothing different happened at 50. Seems to really underestimate how crazy some people are.

Then again, given how infuriating it is I half expected to see a medal made of unobtanium rather than platinum.
posted by Stunt at 12:01 AM on February 4


First day of school, a student asks me "Sir, have you played Flappy Bird?"
Never heard of it.
Every day since then, I have confiscated at least three mobile devices from students.
I have absolutely no desire to play this game.
posted by robotot at 2:28 AM on February 4 [1 favorite]


Played this on the bus this morning. Got a high of 19, which gave me a silver medal. Then managed to notch a 60, which gave me... a silver medal. I nearly pitched my phone through the window. Now embarrassed to learn that was a platinum medal...

The trick for me was to pretend the game was a platformer, and flap just as I hit the pipe (actually *just* before). My most common death was hitting my head on the bottom of the upper pipes.

Surely all the perfect scores - which imply, I've seen pointed out elsewhere - an 83 minute game - are just hacks? Is that even possible?
posted by ominous_paws at 4:05 AM on February 4 [2 favorites]


Came here to mention Hexagon. See I was beaten to it. Now off to download Flappy Bird.

I'm mad, me.
posted by Decani at 4:32 AM on February 4


I have made it to the third pipe. I am already crying.
posted by Decani at 4:38 AM on February 4 [4 favorites]


11 iOS & Android games that are like Flappy Bird but way better

Wrong. These are (mainly) games that are tap-to-jump side-scrollers with easy-to-master mechanics. The hopeless, bowlingballesque lumpenflap is the defining feature of Flappy Bird, and what makes it so excellent. In this most important respect none of those games are like it. (and none better, imo)
posted by ominous_paws at 4:39 AM on February 4 [3 favorites]


I made it past one pipe. This is sufficient to prove I could get past all pipes, if I wanted to. I don't.
posted by charlie don't surf at 4:51 AM on February 4 [11 favorites]


Obviously I too am late to denounce the demonisch that is this Fappy Burd. I made 6 but no more and I languish in the 2s and 1s. There is music in my head and it sounds like the shrieking of avians.

I have no mouse, yet I must flap...
posted by arzakh at 5:08 AM on February 4 [2 favorites]


Now I'm imagining some kind of insane multiplayer crossover game with all the impossible control of Flappy Bird and all the twisted player griefing from that Day Z thread from a couple days ago.

"As soon as I spawned, three other birds dropped on me from above and made me drink disinfectant." - 9/10
posted by Naberius at 6:15 AM on February 4 [7 favorites]


I just scored 13. I am alternately swearing and giggling like a loon. My hands are trembling. Please someone, send help.
posted by Decani at 6:46 AM on February 4 [2 favorites]


My current best is 8.

That other avian game - angry birds - makes me so angry I almost destroyed an iPad in frustration. It's random, doing the same thing gives you different results, and you have no precision. Fling a bird and MAYBE you'll kill a pig. Or not.

Flappy Birds is maddening but it's consistent in performance. I know that if I work at it I WILL get better. I WILL go farther. I may die a million times but the slowly and steadily I will improve.
posted by jazon at 6:50 AM on February 4 [3 favorites]


WHO PUT THE PIPES THERE. WHY IS THE BIRD SO BAD AT FLYING.

SCORE 0
BEST 3
posted by jimmythefish at 6:55 AM on February 4 [3 favorites]


I will say a word in the defense of Angry Birds. YES, there is a large luck component. In my experience, it's nowhere near the luck component of Candy Crush Saga (and yes, I have played both plenty. I'm on level 371 in CCS, sorry to say). But if you put bird X in spot Y you will get a certain small number of possible results, luck saying where. But at least you get infinite chances to repeat the result you are looking for.

As for Fappy Burd, I just got 15 and I wish that was good enough. I have found the best technique involves unfocusing the eyes and following the flight of the bird as a sine wave through the pipes. It's a hypnotic and mindless process that somehow gives decent results.
posted by norm at 7:00 AM on February 4 [2 favorites]


Has anyone ever used the pause button? Seriously. Why is it there.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:05 AM on February 4 [5 favorites]


Just let me pay $1 for an ad-free version. Is that so much to ask?
posted by delfin at 7:09 AM on February 4 [1 favorite]


I just scored 13. I am alternately swearing and giggling like a loon. My hands are trembling. Please someone, send help.

Obviously I too am late to denounce the demonisch that is this Fappy Burd. I made 6 but no more and I languish in the 2s and 1s. There is music in my head and it sounds like the shrieking of avians.

I have made it to the third pipe. I am already crying.


Cripes, *another* creepypasta thread?
posted by Chrysostom at 8:04 AM on February 4 [3 favorites]


I just lost my husband.
posted by tracicle at 10:36 AM on February 4 [5 favorites]


Has anyone ever used the pause button? Seriously. Why is it there.

I'd watch a video where someone pauses between pipes and then successfully picks right up where they left off. That would be amazing.
posted by SpacemanStix at 10:57 AM on February 4 [1 favorite]


Sigh. Wake me when this is an iOS version of Pyoro, or, especially, Pyoro 2.

Omg yes. Do want. Pyoro is the thing on my 3DS with the biggest replay value, heh.
posted by Quilford at 11:48 AM on February 4


Now that I've got a mighty high score of 11, I don't hate this game. I think I'm going to love it on the subway, and there's definitely a learning curve that gets fun after a short while.

Hopefully also the lack of reception on the subway will mean that I don't have an ad for Clash of Clans coming down literally every second and causing screw ups as well.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:30 PM on February 4 [1 favorite]


High score of 10. Got a medal!
posted by leotrotsky at 12:46 PM on February 4 [1 favorite]


This is one of those games where my nose remembers it hates me for all the exfoliation and having glasses weighing on it all these years and starts itching like a fucker somewhere around pipe six.
posted by emmtee at 12:52 PM on February 4 [2 favorites]


Score: Cthulhu/10

Chapeau, Forbes, chapeau.
posted by rory at 2:30 PM on February 4


21 and I may be done...maybe. It's learnable and very much like Super Meat Boy except for the randomness of the pipes. At least in Super Meat Boy it was the same thing every time.
posted by lizarrd at 5:38 PM on February 4


One of our kids told me that the games was all the rage among classmates. I tried it out for 3 seconds, ragequit, and never looked back.

On the other hand, you miscreants got me started on - and sticking with - Candy Crush so I've got that going for me.
posted by jquinby at 6:23 PM on February 4


Just made 22. I think I might uninstall it now.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:07 PM on February 4


I didn't know about this game until this thread. So I (against my better judgement) decided to give it a try. My thoughts on this...

You introduced me to this monstrosity. I will fight every one of you.
posted by azpenguin at 7:25 PM on February 4 [3 favorites]


Going To Maine: "But can I not not play it in my browser?"

Yes, you can not not play it in your browser. I haven't played the iOS or Android versions, though, so I can't speak for accuracy.
posted by John Smallberries at 7:26 PM on February 4


You introduced me to this monstrosity. I will fight every one of you.

I totally told you not to play it!
posted by cashman at 7:32 PM on February 4 [3 favorites]


Ok, checking out the browser version, since my phone is dead.

Jeez, it's like trying to get a ROCK to fly! I do like the sound effects though.
posted by wennj at 5:16 AM on February 5 [1 favorite]


You guys! I found the pipe that lets you warp to the last world. It's very easy to do, but I don't have time to write it up in this comment box because I must hit play again.
posted by sparklemotion at 6:47 AM on February 5 [1 favorite]


It seems easier on Android phones than on the iphone. Yes, my android friends have higher scores than me, but that is not relevant...

12 so far...
posted by man down under at 7:03 AM on February 5 [1 favorite]


Got platinum. Deleting now.
posted by Night_owl at 8:01 AM on February 5 [2 favorites]


Also, FYI, if you delete the game, even if you keep it in Game Center you lose your high score.
posted by Night_owl at 8:05 AM on February 5


Yes, you can not not play it in your browser. I haven't played the iOS or Android versions, though, so I can't speak for accuracy.

Surely that's not the same? It's way easier than what everyone has been describing. I got 10 or 11 in my first few attempts.
posted by straight at 8:52 AM on February 5


And now you can have REVENGE!
posted by drfu at 12:48 PM on February 5 [3 favorites]


One thing that's maddening about this game is that to score a good amount of points you kind of have to get into a groove, but when you lose it destroys that groove in such a jarring manner. "OK, I got this, nice, nice, ahhh, good, getting close to a high sc-" *THWACK* screen shakes "DAMMIT!"
posted by azpenguin at 3:32 PM on February 5 [1 favorite]


I almost screamed when I was one pipe away from a personal best and SOMEBODY TEXTED ME.
posted by Sara C. at 3:37 PM on February 5 [5 favorites]


11 iOS & Android games that are like Flappy Bird but way better

From Charlie Pratt at Polygon: Flappy Bird is proof that no one knows what the audience is looking for
posted by Going To Maine at 5:36 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]


My (college-aged) kid had this, and when I saw he'd downloaded a new game, I got it, too, as we both like Cut the Rope and. Plants vs Zombies, etc.

Anyway, I look at the animation showing how it is all about flapping the wings, and I actually thought I would be good at this thing. "Cool! it's like Joust from my old arcade days!"

I was getting all nostalgic and sappy, remembering how I'd feverishly presspresspress that red button just to keep my mount's wings going, hovering just above (has to be ABOVE!) the other jousters, BAM!, then swooping down to gather the eggs. I enjoyed trip-trip-tripping across the platform (with the little skittering sound effects, so perfect), and of course the feeling of triumph that came from slamming the scary pteranodon juuuust right and surviving the encounter. I loved that game. I rocked that game.

But THIS game? This game is monstrous. Stupid bird. You have ONE lousy job, bird! All you have to do is fly, and you SUCK at it! It's like your bones aren't even hollow.

I played three times, got to the second freakin' barrier and closed it up again. Not worth the frustration.

And then, of course, I made my husband play it. "Look at this silly game! it's just a flying bird, but it is impossible!" He had to try it, of course, to prove it wasn't really impossible, and I got to enjoy the sensation of someone else feeling my pain.

That's the real secret of the game's immense popularity, I think. Because it is so immensely difficult, the schadenfreude of sadistically introducing others to Flappy Bird is exquisite. Nice post, cashman! Well-played, Sir.

Oh, and you all just lost The Game.
posted by misha at 6:00 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]


Now up to 37. If I get that platinum, then it will be good enough. Yes, then I can stop.
posted by norm at 6:11 AM on February 6 [2 favorites]


For all you guys know, there could be a small but random element applied to velocity every time you tap the screen.
posted by JHarris at 1:36 PM on February 6


Metafilter: It's like your bones aren't even hollow.
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:59 PM on February 6 [2 favorites]


For all you guys know, there could be a small but random element applied to velocity every time you tap the screen.

That would involve far more effort than the designer put into the game.
posted by sparklemotion at 4:51 PM on February 6 [2 favorites]


That's the real secret of the game's immense popularity, I think. Because it is so immensely difficult, the schadenfreude of sadistically introducing others to Flappy Bird is exquisite.

Oh my, you're totally right about this. Flappy Bird is the gaming app equivalent of "ugh, this tastes terrible, try this!"
posted by davejay at 9:46 PM on February 6 [3 favorites]


I think the graphics would be a lot more honest, and probably more entertaining, if the character wasn't a one-eyed Opa-Opa knockoff and was just a rock, bouncing in the air.
posted by JHarris at 6:44 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


*opens Xcode project, titles it "Farty Rock"*
posted by cortex at 7:55 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I think the graphics would be a lot more honest, and probably more entertaining, if the character wasn't a one-eyed Opa-Opa knockoff and was just a rock, bouncing in the air.

A Fantasy Zone game where you have to keep Opa-Opa in the air by tapping like Flappy Bird would be amazingly cruel. Surely Flappy Bird meets bullet hell mashups are inevitable.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:23 AM on February 7 [2 favorites]


How to beat Flappy Bird [YouTube 1:24]
posted by cashman at 4:36 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


That's the real secret of the game's immense popularity, I think. Because it is so immensely difficult, the schadenfreude of sadistically introducing others to Flappy Bird is exquisite.

I did this to friends with Civ Clicker. I warned them and everything.

Also, I'm sorry but: Flappy Bird is on the web too.
posted by BungaDunga at 4:57 PM on February 7


How to beat Flappy Bird [YouTube 1:24]

Wow, such anger. If I might offer some advice, from someone who's been playing 'em since Pac-Man?

We all let ourselves get hooked on these things. You don't have to play FlappyBird. The ability to put it down, it can be learned. It's not even particularly hard. Especially this game, which is so stupid as to be insulting.

The thing that scares me isn't how people apparently have so little respect for their own time and energy that they get hooked on FlappyBird. It's that, if you let FlappyBird consume your life, I have to wonder what's going to happen when you play something really good, well-made, thoughtful and catchy, like Tiny Wings, because I expect it'll destroy your LIFE.
posted by JHarris at 5:07 PM on February 7


Here's a video on the best method to beat flappy bird, for anyone who is feeling frustrated.
posted by SpacemanStix at 7:14 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


cashman beat ya to it, Spacey.
posted by JHarris at 7:25 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


You are right, it does look suspiciously familiar...
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:19 PM on February 7


Creator of Flappy Bird to take down game in 20 hours.

I feel sad for the guy. He had reported making 50k in profit, just from the ads, but I imagine he was hounded by the sudden success.
posted by zabuni at 11:57 AM on February 8 [1 favorite]


Just saw that elsewhere. That's nuts. "I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore."

Followed by "It is not anything related to legal issues. I just cannot keep it anymore.", "I also don't sell 'Flappy Bird', please don't ask." and "And I still make games."
posted by cashman at 1:36 PM on February 8 [1 favorite]


I want to know where the impression that FlappyBird was a good game, or a fad, began. I want to trace it back and find the "tastemaker" who decided this should be popular, I want to expose him.
posted by JHarris at 2:26 PM on February 8 [1 favorite]


I think it's a good game, JHarris. I think it's very accidentally good, but it's stumbled upon the right qualities, I think, that make people genuinely enjoy playing it, despite its difficulty curve.

It's punishing, but it's fair. The mechanics are consistent, and you get incrementally better at it as you play. It's the Dark Souls or Super Meat Boy of flappy animal pipe games.
posted by SpacemanStix at 5:50 PM on February 8 [1 favorite]


An AirPlay screen mirroring server, some simple real-time video processing, a physics model, an iPad stylus, a spring, and a solenoid.

FlappyBot, a Flappy Bird playing robot, is my next project.
posted by russm at 2:31 AM on February 9


@dongatory Feb 8th
"I can call 'Flappy Bird' is a success of mine. But it also ruins my simple life. So now I hate it."

@dongatory Feb 8th, 20 hours ago
"I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore."

Twitter reacts

I'm pretty impressed that this guy is fond enough of the simple life that he wants to take the game down. Strikes me as a somewhat buddhist perspective. I hope this works out for him, despite the inveitable twitterstorm
posted by memebake at 7:18 AM on February 9


(oh ok, people had already posted that news)
posted by memebake at 7:19 AM on February 9


Twitter #SaveFlappyBird
posted by memebake at 7:20 AM on February 9


Gizmodo: Flappy Bird Is Officially Gone From the App Store
posted by memebake at 10:41 AM on February 9


Here's an article and a couple of blog posts with slightly more varied reactions to the game being taken down. Pretty much every other article I've seen has been some disingenuous, doe eyed confusion followed by a not-quite-accusation of either theft or marketing manoeuvres.
posted by lucidium at 3:05 AM on February 10


Weirdly, although he may have taken it off the app store, right before he did, he released an update that made it prettier and also, near as I can tell, significantly easier. On my first run after the update, I hit 36, which is more than twice my previous best run, and then managed to get more than 30 a couple of times after that, as well.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:43 AM on February 10


re: easier: Yes he updated the iOS version on 7th Feb to make it match the Android version which was slightly easier
posted by memebake at 7:28 AM on February 10


I feel sad for the guy. He had reported making 50k in profit, just from the ads, but I imagine he was hounded by the sudden success.

Make that 50k per day.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 10:09 AM on February 10


Our Internet Empathy Problem.
posted by kmz at 11:21 AM on February 11 [2 favorites]


That's just disgusting. I think the only good that can come from it is that it's another data point against the fallacy that the Internet is hostile to women.

The Internet is hostile to humanity when it wants to be, but just like the racist comments about Nguyen prove, they will take whatever difference exists and use that as part of the harassment.

(I'm glad that removing the app from the Play Store didn't remove it from my phone though, even though I am still stuck at 22).
posted by sparklemotion at 11:42 AM on February 11


The hostility towards individual creators is a hidden side effect of how much we've internalized the media culture that we've all lived under since the rise of television and movies as mass-market entertainments.

There is a sense that large corporations are fair game when it comes to griping and attacking. I mean, they make billions of dollars making mostly what is crap, and that crap pervades the media, it's natural to want to take it out on someone. And large companies could largely care less so long as people overall keep watching and buying their stuff. It's definitely a case of punching up.

This isn't to say that things like death threats are okay. It's that, when people make one to CBS, there's a strong sense that most people aren't really going to act on them. Indeed, we barely ever hear about them; who's going to spread the word other than the threatener and the people in the company mail room? If the threat seems serious they'll alert the authorities, and in that case word might escape to the rest of the world; other than that, spreading the word that the company's received threats about how terrible their product is doesn't project a favorable image of the company, so they just don't do it.

Of course death threats are just the tip of the iceberg, and for every one of those there's a thousand hyperbolic complaints, promises to never watch a show again ever in a million years, memories of the old days when good shows were on, and heartfelt requests that the reader jump up the writer's butt. Again, they've been around for decades, it's just gotten a lot easier to write them now that there's email, and a lot easier to ignore them because of the increased volume that email makes possible, which pushes the ineffectual author towards greater heights of hyperbole in an attempt to be heard.

That was back before the internet, when those companies were the only game in town for entertainment production and distribution, and so many have come to associate widespread media with valid targets. But now we've gotten to a point where small groups, even individuals, can make videos and games that can have distribution effectively as widespread as a major motion picture, people who read and answer their mail themselves, and who might understandably be aghast at this hateful sort of rhetoric.
posted by JHarris at 1:38 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]


First-Person Flappy Bird
posted by cashman at 5:54 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]


Maverick Bird, a tribute to Flappy Bird by the inestimable Terry Cavanagh.
posted by emmtee at 6:54 PM on February 11 [4 favorites]


Wow, Maverick Bird ain't bad. My score is 11 and I really like how obvious it is that the guy who made Super Hexagon made it.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:27 PM on February 11


Wow. Such game. Many flaps. So cloned.
posted by ob1quixote at 2:27 AM on February 12


Massively multiplayer Flappy Bird in a browser is super fun. If you can get past the 3rd or 4th pipe, you're almost alone.

The play physics are slightly off though, it's actually harder than the real game (maybe a smidge too much gravity pull in this version).
posted by mathowie at 9:55 AM on February 12 [2 favorites]


From Sesame Street: Flappy Bert
posted by Going To Maine at 11:01 AM on February 12 [1 favorite]


I think that one's better than the original:

"Ahahah -- ahahah -- ahahah -- ahahah -- ahahah -- ERNIE!!"
posted by JHarris at 12:42 PM on February 12


flapmmo keeps dying due to heavy server load, but if you can get in (like I did this morning) it's a riot.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:54 PM on February 12


flapmmo is hilarious! Thanks mathowie.
posted by cashman at 6:23 AM on February 13


The red flappy bird in the flapmmo reminds me of a Cheep Cheep, and now I want the next Mario Party to have a Flappy Bird clone minigame.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:59 AM on February 13


Level 999
posted by cashman at 9:28 AM on February 17 [1 favorite]


Aaaaah. If you're still reading this thread, make sure to watch cashman's video.

First, it shows that, if you think FlappyBird was insane at first, it gets nuts later on. It's not just pipes, they start moving later on, sometimes quickly, appearing at angles, and so on.

Second, it makes it clear that it probably was copyright infringement that doomed the game. At the very end Piranha Plants come out of the pipes, and they're very obviously Super Mario 3 Piranhas. And at 999, Mario himself comes out and attacks you with fireballs.
posted by JHarris at 4:18 PM on February 17


(Assuming that's the same game, that is. It could be a hack, or a remake.)
posted by JHarris at 4:20 PM on February 17


(And actually the comments on that YouTube video cast doubt on the thing being real. So nevermind.)
posted by JHarris at 4:21 PM on February 17 [1 favorite]


You keep wanting to believe that the developer put actual effort into this game, JHarris.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:47 PM on February 17


Apple Rejecting 'Flappy' Titled Games From App Store
posted by frimble at 1:36 PM on February 18 [1 favorite]


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