Note: not the Spurs keeper
February 7, 2014 10:58 AM   Subscribe

Slow Loris eating a banana, Slow Loris eating a rice ball, Slow Loris being brushed, Slow Loris endangered for being too, too cute and getting their teeth pulled out so they can be sold illegally.
posted by MartinWisse (42 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
eeeeeeeee
posted by Going To Maine at 11:02 AM on February 7


From the way he's framed this post, I've deduced that MartinWisse is actually Werner Herzog.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:15 AM on February 7 [11 favorites]


its little faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
posted by marginaliana at 11:21 AM on February 7


ZOMG! WANT. CUDDLE. LORIS. SLOWLY.
posted by Falwless at 11:43 AM on February 7


Atom Eyes, quick, check his posting history for mentions of order and chaos.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:44 AM on February 7 [1 favorite]


And, people, leave the slow lorises alone. They don't want to be your pets. Enjoy them from a distance. Ugh.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:45 AM on February 7 [8 favorites]


Slow lorises look like monchichis that just got dumped.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 12:00 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


Slow Lorises have been moving up Amazon's sales rankings since this was posted.
posted by biffa at 12:04 PM on February 7


Just remember not to feed them after midnight or get them wet.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:11 PM on February 7 [6 favorites]


Here's Anna Nekaris' blog on her work in slow loris conservation and here's her YouTube channel. It'd be nice if this post helped to increase the view count of someone working to save these guys instead of pet owners on YouTube.
posted by bergeycm at 12:19 PM on February 7 [19 favorites]


The rice ball reminds me of the time I fed my friend's chinchilla a craisin. So many bites!
posted by mlle valentine at 12:26 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


Oh god, *that's* why they look so plaintive :(:(:((
posted by en forme de poire at 12:58 PM on February 7


are these even real
posted by Sara C. at 1:13 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I want to have two, and I'll name them Doris and Boris.
posted by OHSnap at 1:25 PM on February 7 [3 favorites]


It'd be nice if I wasn't passively aggressively accused of contributing to animal cruelty for watching some youtube videos.
posted by el io at 1:27 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


Lorises and lots of of other exotic animals are cute, but they are not pets, and aren't most of the videos on Youtube by definition going to be illegally sold animals? You should feel bad. These animals are not having a good time; what looks like a cute expression is actually a fear/defense response. Many of them suffer and die in the process of being transferred to their new homes and once they get there, even if well-treated, they don't thrive as domestic animals.
posted by emjaybee at 1:40 PM on February 7 [6 favorites]


We had a slender loris as a pet when I was growing up. The scam was that trappers would catch them in the wild, bring them into the city, sell them to some mug then report to the police that "I saw a loris at such and such address", police go pick up the loris, trapper would say "hey, I'm headed back to the forest, I'll take it back and release it for you", and turn around and find another victim.
The loris that we had had been thus mishandled/misfed and was close to a goner when the trapper met my brother who happened to live in that particular city. What he didn't realize was that my brother was on his way to the train station to come home. Brother bought said loris, brought it home, and we nursed it back to health, breaking the chain in the process. We had a big-ass cage built for it, and every morning and every evening we'd go into the open lot next door and catch 10 grasshoppers to feed it. He also had fruits and nuts in the cage.
The video's show the loris' normal locomotion, but when he saw a bug he was incredibly fast. Swoop, he'd grab it and then nom nom nom.
BEST PET EVAR. He was cute and cuddly and loved attention. You had to really provoke him if you wanted to get bitten. He loved to curl up in a ball in your shirt pocket. If there was any legal & ethical way to get one now I'd do it in a heartbeat.
posted by Runes at 1:49 PM on February 7 [3 favorites]


I did not know they were endangered and illegal to purchase and I did not know their bite is venomous so thank you for that. Nice to have both sides of this story in this post and on YouTube. It's in human nature to want things that are attractively presented but we have to learn the principle "look before you leap."
posted by Anitanola at 1:49 PM on February 7


I LOVE the Tottenham reference. That made my day.
posted by anoirmarie at 1:51 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


emjaybee: i sure hope to heck you are a vegetarian... or is cruelty to animals only a worthy cause if the animals aren't cute or tasty?

seriously - i may have some personal guilt for the leather on my shoes, but calling people out for watching a video of a cute animals? really? i'd be willing to bet these animals kept as pets are living a better life than most chickens on the planet.
posted by el io at 1:51 PM on February 7


omg my dad is obsessed with slow lorises. Not sure why, he's like the antithesis of them. Am sending him this link now.
posted by divabat at 1:55 PM on February 7


Just to be absolutely clear, the loris we had as a pet was a slender loris, not a slow loris. Different species, different range, not endangered, etc.
posted by Runes at 2:10 PM on February 7


These animals are not having a good time; what looks like a cute expression is actually a fear/defense response.

FWIW this is also true of a lot of funny/cute dog videos around the internet.

That cute thing where you can see the whites of the dog's eyes? That's fear.
posted by Sara C. at 2:17 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


i'd be willing to bet these animals kept as pets are living a better life than most chickens on the planet.

This ignores the fact that YT is a ubiquitous advertising platform for just about anything people want to think is cool. Or that there's a whole world of people out there who have no idea of the unintended consequences of the exotic animal trade. Or that our less than humane treatment of chickens says anything about how we should treat other animals.

Sorry, I don't mean to pick on you, el io, but that kind of statement is used to justify all kinds of human exploitation, generally for profit.
posted by sneebler at 2:37 PM on February 7


It'd be nice if this post helped to increase the view count of someone working to save these guys instead of pet owners on YouTube.

Had I known of her, I'd included her, but the thought process behind this was that I saw the cute videos first and then that ABC report. Anybody who was creeped out by that, well, that was my response too.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:50 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


seriously - i may have some personal guilt for the leather on my shoes, but calling people out for watching a video of a cute animals? really? i'd be willing to bet these animals kept as pets are living a better life than most chickens on the planet.

The people watching a bullfight are not part of the problem, they can't help it that they find bull-slaughter adorable!
posted by anazgnos at 3:02 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


anazgnos: we must have watched different videos - the videos linked to in the article did not show the slow loris being killed for sport.

sneebler: oh, no, that's fine... tell me more about how my comment pointing out the (potential) hypocrisy of people supposedly concerned about animal rights is the same as justifying human trafficking (or did you mean some other more mundane type of human exploitation for profit - like working a fast food joint?).

In regards to treating chickens - i'm not talking about how as a species we allow chickens to be tortured, i'm talking about how as individuals we consume those specific tortured animals (and their tasty eggs).
posted by el io at 3:21 PM on February 7


Had I known of her, I'd included her, but the thought process behind this was that I saw the cute videos first and then that ABC report. Anybody who was creeped out by that, well, that was my response too.

She's featured in the ABC report, the last video you posted, MartinWisse. Sorry, should have made that clearer. She does great work and I'm glad to see primate conservation on the Blue!
posted by bergeycm at 3:28 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


So I am a vegetarian (mostly vegan) and am pretty sensitive to animals. I even feel pretty conflicted about zoos (Some are great. Some are OK. Some are terrible). I like videos of cute animals.

So I enjoyed these -- I saw a slow loris who, despite being a pet, seems to have a decent life (as far as I can tell, anyway -- I really don't know), and I'm thankful for that. But I also know you shouldn't have slow lorises as pets. I've seen other videos of people keeping animals as pets that they shouldn't (like raccoons or foxes, for instance).

I am probably being overly optimistic that someone sees a slow loris video and thinks "Hey, I want one!" and then does a Google search and realizes, no, that's a bad idea and these animals shouldn't be pets. And maybe in an ideal world, they'd give the money they wanted to spend to people who are trying to help the slow loris.

I think a lot of issues involving animals are pretty complicated and sometimes people who mean well don't always do the best things. But I think any increased awareness can become a good thing. Like this thread.

So enjoy the cute animals. And maybe find out more about how you can help them.
posted by darksong at 3:39 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


I don't see why anybody needs slow lorises anyway. My cat does that exact same stretchy thing when I scratch her armpits, and with her I know it's not a stress reaction!
posted by anazgnos at 3:50 PM on February 7


A fine example of neotany. This totally sets of my ASMR too.
posted by Captain Chesapeake at 5:03 PM on February 7


Lorises are neat animals, and provide a neat window to the past to imagine how our common ancestors might have been, and what life might have been like for us 60 million years ago. It's truly unfortunate that some species are threatened now.

Primates are shitty pets. For a number of reasons it's easily better to just leave them in the wild with their familial groups. All of us, from the apes to the little weird strepsirrhines, are generally social, smart, and adaptable. Some of them have ranges that overlap with humans and in some cases some really neat and complex interactions develop. Of course this unfortunately leads to bad things for them in many cases.

Slow lorises are fascinating stealth hunters. They're all adorable and lazy looking, but move deliberately and noiselessly to sneak up on a bug and ruin its day. Slender lorises don't go in for all that and would prefer to just zip around and capture things through sheer agility and speed. All kinds of neat adaptations and specializations in Lorisoidea.

Give them some trees and they'll happily go about their business once night falls. Oh, and leave them the hell alone. They did fine for millions of years without humans paying attention to them.
posted by Stunt at 5:25 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


After a date at the zoo I tried to nickname my girlfriend at the time Slow Loris, because like the creature we squeed over she was cute as could be and languid in movement and speech.

This was unwise.
posted by Blue Meanie at 5:26 PM on February 7 [2 favorites]


just imagine owning one of those and waking up with those giant, giant eyes an inch from your face.
posted by angrycat at 5:40 PM on February 7 [1 favorite]


I tried to upgrade my loris to a faster speed.

It was very messy, and it made it even slower! Do not recommend.
posted by yohko at 5:52 PM on February 7


Primates are shitty pets.

I see people walking around with little primates all the time and they do indeed seem like bad pets. Should I encourage them to return the primates to the wild?
posted by yohko at 5:55 PM on February 7 [5 favorites]


If by 'the wild' you mean out of coffee shops then please go ahead.
posted by biffa at 1:40 AM on February 8


I kept scanning those big eyes / eyebrows for the usual pug emotions like "steak please" and "burger please" but I had trouble reading him. His snout is a little oddly shaped, too, he's honestly a bit unlike any other pug I've seen. You think maybe it's some form of developmental disorder? Poor puppy. Come here I hug you.
posted by jake at 5:36 AM on February 8


Just a note to US-ains that you can humanely satisfy your slow loris needs at the Duke Lemur Center in Durham NC. . they even keep them in a dark enclosure with a photo-lab type red light, so you can see them frolic in the dark.
posted by genmonster at 12:21 PM on February 8


I saw the video of the Slow Loris eating a rice ball and another video of one with a little umbrella and was like, "OMG, I WANT ONE!!!" Yeah, then I googled what they do to capture them and how miserable they are in captivity and no. I could never.

They are insanely fucking cute, though.
posted by Aquifer at 2:07 PM on February 8


Related: Galago eats a rice ball whilst holding a fork.
posted by unliteral at 4:22 PM on February 9


My father brought one home from a friend working at the zoo, something to do with his WWII experiences. Morris lived 25 years with us.

We didn't know what to feed him, and my brother theorized "things found in trees."

Eggs? Check. He nibbled a small hole in the end, held it with both hands and sipped daintily from it like a chalice. Apparently he'd done this before.

Cicada locust? Double check. He moved toward it with characteristic slowness, but when it was within reach, he snatched it lightning fast. Made us wonder what else he was hiding from us.

When contented, he liked to lean back on his branch, with his hands behind his head and fingers intertwined.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:38 PM on February 9 [3 favorites]


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