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February 15, 2014 1:24 PM   Subscribe

DC vs Marvel: Kitchen Stadium Edition -- In The Mighty Marvel Superheroes Cookbook, "Mighty Marvel Superheros show you how to perform heroics in the kitchen creating meals that are out of this world!" Meanwhile.... The DC Super Heroes Super Healthy Cookbook simply promises "good food kids can prepare themselves." Let the battle begin!

Highlights from The Mighty Marvel Superheroes Cookbook: Highlights from DC Super Heroes Super Healthy Cookbook: Obligitory: Spidey wonders, "Can I eat it?"

Phrasing!
posted by Room 641-A (31 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"This isn't a salad. You said you where making a salad. This is a bloody mary."

"ah! Yes, almost forgot!" Tony dropped a celery talk into the glass. "There, now it's a salad."

Meanwhile at the All-Marvel cook-off potluck, Steve fumes that no one wants to try Irish beef stew ("WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EAT STEW ANYMORE? WHY IS THERE GARLIC AND CILANTRO IN EVERYTHING?!"), Peter Parker just put out a cheese plate of unwrapped Baby-Bels, and everyone is going for seconds of Thor's whole roast suckling pig. ( he didn't know there was a competition, that's was just his lunch for the day).
posted by The Whelk at 1:32 PM on February 15 [9 favorites]


Wow, Paradise Pop, you can just hear the overly earnest hippy-esque mom trying to sell the kids on fruit juice cut with seltzer. "Look! Wonder Woman likes it!"
posted by The Whelk at 1:42 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


the proportional awareness of what's going on around him of a spider. very accurate. there's a spider that lives up in the corner of the kitchen window at my house and it never seems to react to cooking mishaps either
posted by titus n. owl at 1:49 PM on February 15


Oh man. I had the DC cookbook as a kid in the early 80s. I loved it! Comic-book-style onomatopoetics with recipes! The images are still in my brain.

We made a lot of these. The soda! Oh yeah! So fun.

I recall a cereal that doesn't do anything special, it "just sits there and LETS YOU EAT IT!"

Good memories. Thanks!
posted by eyesontheroad at 1:54 PM on February 15


It's too bad the DC cookbook doesn't warn you about the dangers of cooking large amounts of pastries when Lex Luthor is around.
posted by zombieflanders at 2:10 PM on February 15 [7 favorites]


Surely Green Arrow should have a chili recipe instead.
posted by kewb at 2:11 PM on February 15


the overly earnest hippy-esque mom trying to sell the kids on fruit juice cut with seltzer. "Look! Wonder Woman likes it!"

I like cutting fruit juice with seltzer :(
posted by mikelieman at 2:24 PM on February 15


Serves (Fantastic) 4
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:24 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


Iron Man sure looks sad about not having a sweet tooth.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:29 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


I like cutting fruit juice with seltzer :(

Me too, but I am a little saddened by Wonder Woman's frankly dubious claim that fruit juice contains no sugar. If even she is a shill for Big Orange I will have finally lost all faith in superhumanity.
posted by howfar at 2:31 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


She's used to actual Paradise Pop, which is sweetened with ambrosia, which has no sugar - only immortality. Trying to translate it into something you could make at home is going to cause some confusion.
posted by The Whelk at 2:37 PM on February 15 [3 favorites]


Being a superhero who still has to eat his pizza in secret is the perfect illustration of Green Arrow's struggle.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:58 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


I can see the DC version being like the Cookie Monster skit where he pitches healthy alternatives, Youtube commenters blame it on Michelle Obama and nanny liberalism, who are then told it's actually from the '80s.

Also, that Stan Lee will present anything.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 3:00 PM on February 15 [3 favorites]


If you're making hamburgers and you really need the recipe to tell you not to add the buns to the bowl where you're mixing the meat, cooking may not be for you.
posted by dr_dank at 3:04 PM on February 15 [4 favorites]


Clint Barton makes a plate of kebabs. The Skewers are little arrows. No one notices or comments on this. Something inside him dies.
posted by The Whelk at 3:05 PM on February 15 [4 favorites]


Also everyone is secretly upset that Steven Stranger didn't make some otherworldly magical recipe from beyond the veil of reality. He just made pad thai.
posted by The Whelk at 3:07 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


What is the chopstick for? WHAT?
posted by Wolfdog at 3:07 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


"Obligitory: Spidey wonders, "Can I eat it?"

I wouldn't be surprised if this has actually been addressed in the comics, but does Wolverine's healing factor allow him to eat chicken that's been sitting out on the counter all day?
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 3:08 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


Wouldn't Namor be like a kale salad or something? Aren't fish his subjects? Would this be like "Prince Williams top uses for roast peasant?"
posted by The Whelk at 3:13 PM on February 15


He won't die but he gets an upset wolvertummy
posted by The Whelk at 3:13 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


He won't die but he gets an upset wolvertummy

Like most 70s Marvel tie-in books, the only X-Man who appears at all is Angel. The X-Men were such poor sellers that Marvel avoided promoting them at all until the new X-Men line-up in Giant Size X-Men (Wolverine, Storm, Nightcrawler, Colossus, etc.) brought new life to the franchise.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 3:19 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


It's too bad the DC cookbook doesn't warn you about the dangers of cooking large amounts of pastries when Lex Luthor is around.

It's cool. I made 41 cakes.
posted by RobotHero at 3:20 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


Beef Tartare by The Parasite
posted by benzenedream at 3:39 PM on February 15


WHERE ARE THE FRUIT PIES EVERYBODY WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THE FRUIT PIES
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:14 PM on February 15 [5 favorites]


The DC Super Heroes Super Healthy Cookbook was my very first, at age six. It now sits among a collection of hundreds; it definitely had a hand in what became a career in health foods. My family made a good deal of the recipes, and this post is missing the absolute best, the one that's still being made among us (and it's a great way to use up overripe bananas): Batman's Invisible Banana French Toast. Images here: recipe, facing page, and my chatty post of it on my former food blog here.
posted by jocelmeow at 4:33 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


Other superhero-related recipes:

Green Arrow's Stupendous Chili Recipe from Green Arrow Secret Files and Origins

Aunt May Parker's Wheatcakes from Untold Tales of Spider-Man Annual '96

And previously on Metafilter, James Rolfe of Angry Video Game Nerd infamy and friends try all of Michelangelo's pizza toppings from the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. (Sadly, the actual video is gone.)

Also:

The Joker and Doctor Doom shill for Milk Duds.
posted by kewb at 4:40 PM on February 15


At 10:42, Alfred receives a text from one of Master Bruce's obfuscated numbers: h50 2840+K,\ox run674r.ClyF5, please. Bruce will be home in fifty minutes, at which time he'll want a meal comprising 2,840 calories, with an emphasis on potassium and antioxidants.

Bruce acquired the autodidactic equivalent of a doctorate in dietary science during his wandering years, and he holds evidence-based opinions on ratios, terroir, gut flora, gluten. But though he dictates broad strictures, calendars, whitelists, and daily caloric requirements, he leaves it to Alfred to actually pick the menus and prep the food.

Alfred may summon nearly any ingredient from the Manor's thrice-weekly grocery consignment, which pulls from a world-wide network of Wayne-owned organic farms, ranches, dairies, and forage grounds. Too, he may draw cold clear water from the Manor aquifer, and pluck new heirloom carrots from the hydroponic hothouse in the Batcave.

At 11:32, Bruce enters the Manor dining room still in costume, mudded, bruised, and bloody. Waiting on the table are:

*A whole chicken, steamed, served with Hesse-Kassel Grüne Soße
*A salad of red beets, beet greens, and mint
*A salad of cold roasted golden beets, shallots, and parsley
*A dessert of wild blueberries topped with a tablespoon of mascarpone
*A mug of chicory coffee
*The lab results for the fifth Clayface sample

Meanwhile, Alfred reclines on the sofa is in his suite in the servant wing, eating Häagen-Dazs and brownies, polishing off a 15-year-old Armagnac, while he watches the Jean Arthur marathon on TCM.
posted by Iridic at 4:59 PM on February 15 [13 favorites]


Man, Reed Richards is a giant asshole. "Hey, my hubris resulted in you being turned in an ugly rock monster. Now I'm gonna smash a pie in your big stupid rock face." PLOP!
posted by KingEdRa at 9:18 PM on February 15 [2 favorites]


If you're making hamburgers and you really need the recipe to tell you not to add the buns to the bowl where you're mixing the meat, cooking may not be for you.

HULK SMASH DANK
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:59 PM on February 15 [1 favorite]


Eating After Effort
posted by homunculus at 12:07 AM on February 16


Also everyone is secretly upset that Steven Stranger

turned up instead of doctor (he may have lost his medical practise, but still insists you call him that) Stephen Strange.

Hulk just made beans.
posted by MartinWisse at 6:59 AM on February 16


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