Roger told him his German shepherd, Champ, helped protect them. “He said, ‘I let the dog out of the car when we come here. The dog gets out first. He’s trained to patrol the whole grounds and report back before we get out.’ ”
“[Ailes] was said to have ordered the removal of all trees around his house so that he … had a 360-degree view of any leftist assault teams preparing to rush the house,” Leonora Burton, the owner of the Country Goose shop on Main Street, recalled.
"Why so down at the mouth today, Timmy?" rumbled Grandpappy one fine spring day, as he laded himself up another forkful of the juiciest cherry pie in all Putnam County.
"Gee, Mr. Ailes," sighed Timmy, slurping glumly at a raspberry phosphate. "I'm just in a study, I guess."
"You lose more marbles to that Taggart boy? I'd be happy to spot you an aggie and show you a few ring tricks could win you back your glass. You'll recall I was considered Taws Champ of Northeastern Ohio when I was your age."
"No, sir. I don't seem to have much a appetite for marbles these days." And the lad sighed again, and frowned so deeply that the last hair on his crew cut twitched.
O'l Ailes' jowls quivered with sly apprehension. "Then maybe it's trouble with pretty little Sue-Ellen Costello what's got your cats so dogged?"
Timmy pretended indifference, but the quickened velocity of his phosphate slurpage betrayed his stung affections.
"Hee hee hee!" hee-hee-heed Ailes. "Timmy, my boy, you got nothing to be abashed about. Affairs of the heart have afflicted many a great hero--myself unexcepted. Tell you what: you confide in me your little contretemps with Sue-Ellen, and, in return, I'll tell you the secret that secured me the title of Kissing Champ of Northeastern Ohio!"
"It's a deal!" said Timmy, vim restored. "It all got started of Sunday last, when I texted Sue-Ellen after church, askin' her if she'd be my date to Dough-nut Night, and-"
"Texted," said Roger Ailes.
"Uh," said Timmy.
"Mighty new-fashioned word there, Timmy. Texted."
"I believe it's from the Latin, sir. The preacher learned us that in Sunday School."
"Don't begin to fuck with me, Timmy. Don't think you can get between me and my retirement in a nice town, with traditional folks. I pay you, I pay you a great deal, and I might as well have hired an illegal for all your ability to convince me you're a small-town American child.
"We're going to start over, get me? And when we get to your troubles with that sweet little Sue-Ellen, you'd better be talking to her on a fucking tin-can telephone, or I will sue you unto suicide. Now: why so down. At the mouth. Timmy?"
"The most interesting news about Fox News is that for some years now it has been damaging the right far more than the left. As a pair of political analysts wrote at Reuters last year, “When the mainstream media reigned supreme, between 1952 and 1988, Republicans won seven out of the ten presidential elections,” but since 1992, when “conservative media began to flourish” (first with Rush Limbaugh’s ascendancy, then with Fox), Democrats have won the popular vote five out of six times. You’d think they’d be well advised to leave Fox News to its own devices so that it can continue to shoot its own party in the foot."
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