DRR... DRR... DRR...

February 26, 2014 6:56 AM

Steve Jobs Memorial Statue Has Been Unveiled And... It's Hideous
posted by Evilspork (152 comments total)

You should see the Kurt Cobain one.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:57 AM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

There were rumors Apple had been working on a personal massager. I never believed it until now.
posted by yerfatma at 6:59 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

iPez.
posted by swift at 7:00 AM on February 26, 2014 [47 favorites]

iShudder
posted by General Tonic at 7:01 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Well, either I or the artist have watched Hellraiser III far too many times.
posted by Shepherd at 7:02 AM on February 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

The horror....the horror...
posted by Thorzdad at 7:04 AM on February 26, 2014

...It's hideous

Judging by Jobs' boat, it's what Steve would've wanted.
posted by Thing at 7:04 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

It looks like a tribute to Thalidomide victims designed by the man who invented Alphabetti Spaghetti.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:04 AM on February 26, 2014 [37 favorites]

A scale model of the work features a metal representation of Jobs' head perched on the top of an obelisk. ... When completed, the statue will stand between 10 and 16 feet tall.

Then a band of apes will come and touch it and invent Apple's next new killer product.
posted by ChrisTN at 7:06 AM on February 26, 2014 [30 favorites]

It's perfect.
posted by jquinby at 7:06 AM on February 26, 2014 [10 favorites]

iYI-YI!
posted by Splunge at 7:07 AM on February 26, 2014

I get the binary, buy why Cyrillic letters?
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:08 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Radenovic also did Tesla on an invisible chair.
posted by Segundus at 7:09 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

I'm not an art expert but there's something about that statue that disturbs me on a visceral level.
posted by tommasz at 7:09 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Trying to keep an open mind, I clicked on the link.

Then I laughed out loud.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 7:11 AM on February 26, 2014 [14 favorites]

I love it - it's beautiful, moving and a wonderful work of art. I cannot contemplate how anyone could have an opinion that differs from mine on this matter, unless of course said person is suffering from an unfortunate mental abnormality, in which case the affected person should be treated only with the greatest possible compassion and kindness.

I would like to thank MetaFilter for giving me the opportunity to share with like-minded people my appreciation for this intense and sublime statue, and sincerely I wish all of you a wonderful day and, indeed, ongoing success in all aspects of your lives.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:11 AM on February 26, 2014 [59 favorites]

Looks like Kuato's brother but not as handsome
posted by starman at 7:12 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Aside from the creepiness of it, the one-and-zero motif is just lazy as a memorial for a guy whose legacy is defined by hardware and ease of use rather than in-the-weeds programming.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:13 AM on February 26, 2014 [43 favorites]

I see that the artist's favorite band is Sonic Youth.
posted by NoMich at 7:15 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

My first thought about the head was, why is Captain Picard on there?!?

(The rest of it, that bland upright band with the Cyrilic letters and the numbers? It stinks.)
posted by easily confused at 7:15 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Funny, but this is the sort of thing that comes to my mind's eye when I try to imagine post-singularity "immortality". Are we sure they didn't upload his spiritual essence into that monstrosity?
posted by mondo dentro at 7:16 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Compare and contrast: Mark Quinn's portrait of Sir John Sutton, a key figure in the development of DNA analysis.
posted by Shepherd at 7:16 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Remember the first reviews of Maya LIn's Vietnam War Memorial?
posted by bukvich at 7:16 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I love the angry, stern expression and the "LOVE" logo abstracted all over it. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU AND WANTS TO SNUGGLE.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:17 AM on February 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

I assume that the Internet will provide me with a Steve Jobs frozen in carbonate remix shortly.
posted by thelonius at 7:17 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

My one argument for the statue (or something similar to it) is that Apple's products specialize in being sleek and impersonal. As Neal Stephenson once put it, they're mysterious eurocars, and -at least in the computer realm- have kind of moved away from fun-loving VW bugs into slightly menacing BMWs. Macbooks aren't Hildas - they're tall, thin, icy teutonic models. They are sort of inherently soulless devices through which we can channel ourselves. (The OS, I think, is a different story.)

A super-sleek bust of Jobs would almost continue the idea too much - it would be as if he were all surface. Something as weirdly analog as the statue kind of humanizes the whole thing and exposes a human core at the heart of the place.

Of course, I also think that there are better statues that could have done the same thing.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:17 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

That's not Jobs, that's Lovecraft. It is an amazing sculpture in that context.
posted by Renoroc at 7:17 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

Aside from the creepiness of it, the one-and-zero motif is just lazy as a memorial for a guy whose legacy is defined by hardware and ease of use rather than in-the-weeds programming.

It has the quality of something you'd expect from a boardwalk caricature artist. "Oh, so you do computers, huh?"
posted by indubitable at 7:18 AM on February 26, 2014 [33 favorites]

Ahahahahahahahaha. Ha.
posted by gwint at 7:18 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Thing has escaped Antarctica.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 7:18 AM on February 26, 2014 [18 favorites]

I don't necessarily hate the basic idea of a bust with some iconography below it. The place where it goes haywire is that all three elements of the statue seem to come from three different aesthetics. The numbers and most of the base are very crisp and clean, which makes it seem like he's trying to duplicate the signature Apple aesthetic. The bust itself is a little rougher with more obvious workmanship, which goes against the base, but could maybe be the sculptor trying to humanize Jobs. Then the Cyrillic letters look sloppy, gross, and jammed onto the base at haste and for no apparent reason. They destroy the sleekness that it sort of seems like the rest of the piece is going for.
posted by Copronymus at 7:19 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Really, a flat black towering monolith of dimensions 1:4:9 would actually be pretty sweet.
posted by jquinby at 7:19 AM on February 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

MetaFilter: Like a tribute to Thalidomide victims designed by the man who invented Alphabetti Spaghetti.
posted by mosk at 7:19 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

No wireless. Less space than a nomad. Lame.
posted by jessssse at 7:19 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Nyarlathotep is pleased with this new avatar, well done guys.
posted by Iosephus at 7:20 AM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

Looks like a T-1000 who just ate a shotgun
posted by fullerine at 7:20 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

It reminds me of the T-1000 getting hit by a grenade in Terminator 2.
posted by blueberry at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

At night, it hops around the courtyard.
posted by jquinby at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [45 favorites]

The thing that really bothers me about it, honestly, is the sparseness of the letters and numbers. A one and a zero? The budget didn't stretch to a bit's worth, at least? I feel like if there were a bunch of letters and numbers they might blend in a bit better.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

THIS iHOLE WAS MADE FOR ME
posted by emmtee at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [10 favorites]

the one-and-zero motif is just lazy as a memorial for a guy whose legacy is defined by hardware and ease of use rather than in-the-weeds programming.

The one and zero are also lazy in that they look like store bought house numbers just literally tacked on. And what's the Cyrillic? RE? What's the significance of that? And why are they made out if turds?
posted by Sys Rq at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

He deserves better, but alas Jobs was probably one of the few who could overseen such a project and done justice to it. I hope someone steals it.
posted by dgran at 7:22 AM on February 26, 2014

People will come from great distances to see this. There will be model kits and ceramic molds, silverware sets,ect. It will be banned in France.
posted by JohnR at 7:22 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Uhhh it's obvious what it stands for:
1+0 = Ten years ago
we had
Steve = Jobs
Melty Sword Hilt = Hope
British pound = Cash
but now...
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:23 AM on February 26, 2014 [14 favorites]

Microsoft released a statement saying, "It looks like you're making a sculpture. Would you like help?"
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:23 AM on February 26, 2014 [103 favorites]

Perfect
posted by edgeways at 7:23 AM on February 26, 2014

On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this statue a 10. A binary 10.
posted by oulipian at 7:28 AM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

Like Short Attention Sp, I also clicked the link trying to keep an open mind.

Then I recoiled and called over art-oriented co-workers to witness The Horror, The Horror.
posted by seyirci at 7:29 AM on February 26, 2014

Yeah I originally flagged this post because I figured Business Insider had written a cheap attack piece on a normal thing because they want PVs, then I really took a gander at the statue and if anything they are being overly polite sticking with "hideous".
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:31 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

They really should have got a former Soviet sculptor to do it. Those guys did a mean statue. Or alternatively they could have done something like this.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:31 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

A more fitting tribute to the man would be a beveled oblong of hard plastic installed in everyone's pocket forever.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:33 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

If this is a prop from the Steampunk "Terminator" remake, I can't wait to see the climactic final battle in the typesetters studio.

If this is a tribute to Steve Jobs design aesthetic, the artist better just call that nice little lady from "Poltergeist" now.
posted by eisenkrote at 7:33 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Or alternatively they could have done something like this.

This statue, it spins?
posted by Evilspork at 7:33 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I was expecting bad, but this is transcendentally bad, worse than you would get just by accident. It takes serious work and thought to be deliberately that bad. My hat is off to the artist.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:36 AM on February 26, 2014 [10 favorites]

"When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money.

That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is - everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.

The minute that you understand that you can poke life and actually something will, you know if you push in, something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it. That’s maybe the most important thing. It’s to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it.

I think that’s very important and however you learn that, once you learn it, you’ll want to change life and make it better, cause it’s kind of messed up, in a lot of ways. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again." -- Steve Jobs on PBS, 1994.

The statue isn't important. A memorial isn't either.

That sentiment. That's Job's legacy, right there.
posted by zarq at 7:38 AM on February 26, 2014 [18 favorites]

I would take this selection as evidence that the people who used to work with Steve Jobs did not actually like Steve Jobs very much.
posted by bowline at 7:39 AM on February 26, 2014 [28 favorites]

I assume that Radenovic absent-mindedly left this on a hot car seat for a whole afternoon, then didn't have time to fix it and had to pretend that it was meant to look like that.
posted by doctornecessiter at 7:40 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Reminds me of the sculptures in Beetlejuice.
posted by ish__ at 7:41 AM on February 26, 2014 [13 favorites]

Insanely great.
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 7:41 AM on February 26, 2014

It should have been an apple bong. No, really.

It would represent creativity, innovation and ingenuity. Then there's the whole fleeting nature of life motif, and it would even be a testament to the use of proper alternative medicine to battle disease.

Did I mention it's an apple?
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 7:41 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was thinking the same thing, bowline. This looks like revenge.
posted by Yowser at 7:42 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Dragan Radenovic is Serbian for Ashton Kutcher.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:42 AM on February 26, 2014

I have full confidence that this single-source report translated from a Croatian website is completely accurate, and that this sculpture was personally selected by Jony Ive from 10,200 submissions into an art contest that was secretly held by Apple over the past several months without being mentioned in any discussion or report. It makes perfect sense for a sculpture of a man born in San Francisco to Syrian & American parents to prominently feature Cyrillic letters as the primary design motif. No skepticism regarding this story is warranted whatsoever. Congratulations on the fine journalism, every news outlet republishing this story!
posted by designbot at 7:42 AM on February 26, 2014 [31 favorites]

Radenovic even got a call from Jony Ive himself, who was apparently a big fan of the design. 

wat
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:45 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

No no no. The ideal Steve Jobs sculpture will look incredibly slick and fashion-forward the day it's unveiled and only look embarrassing five years later.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:47 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Steve Jobs is not in the library. Steve Jobs has been saved.
posted by miyabo at 7:48 AM on February 26, 2014 [19 favorites]

A disembodied head with a 1 and 0 as appendages. What better tribute to the man who has transformed the majority of our daily experiences from actual to virtual.
posted by any major dude at 7:49 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's only a model!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:51 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Shh!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:52 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

zarq: "That sentiment. That's Job's legacy, right there."

Well, that and a campaign to bully companies across the industry into fixing wages.
posted by invitapriore at 7:57 AM on February 26, 2014 [9 favorites]

An artist friend of mine takes to heart the saying "Art should comfort the disturbed, and disturb the comfortable. Otherwise, it's not art." She paints pictures of the mindscapes of serial killers, enough to give you nightmares. She will love this.
posted by The otter lady at 7:58 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's not very nice, is it?
posted by ob at 8:03 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Found another source. Either Radenovic is pulling a scam, his buddy "Turgalijeva" is pulling a scam, or someone is scamming them both. If this is legit, I'll eat my iPhone.
posted by designbot at 8:03 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is - everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that were no smarter than you.

And if you can figure out how to convert that cultural capital into a hot hand at the economic casino, you too can find the meaning of life.

Yeah, I'm a class warfare kind of guy. So, now that I think of it this way, the fact that the bust is a bust is just about the perfect legacy.
posted by mondo dentro at 8:04 AM on February 26, 2014

Monuments to dictators always are fugley.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:05 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Can I raise a practical question at this point?

Are we gonna do "Stonehenge" tomorrow?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:05 AM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

Every year the obelisk will be a little bit taller with another row of meaningless characters.
posted by Thing at 8:08 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

The shadow of that thing, uhhh…
posted by iamkimiam at 8:08 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

We have such sights to show you!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:10 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Don't worry if it's ugly we'll just have to replace it in 2 years anyway.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:16 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

I think it's great! It really reminds me of Steve because the first thing that came to mind when I saw it was Steve telling somebody "your work is shit."
posted by entropicamericana at 8:19 AM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

Some good Steve-related news.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:23 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Has anyone checked the ears for rabbits?
posted by de at 8:25 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

"...oh, and one more thing: TEKELI-LI! TEKELI-LI!"
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:26 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

They should've hired Giger to do it.
posted by Liquidwolf at 8:27 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

The link says the letters on the side are Cyrillic. Um. What does the Cyrillic alphabet have to do with Steve Jobs? I don't get that at all.
posted by dnash at 8:31 AM on February 26, 2014

MetaFilter: I have full confidence that this single-source report translated from a Croatian website is completely accurate, and that this sculpture was personally selected by Jony Ive from 10,200 submissions into an art contest that was secretly held by Apple over the past several months without being mentioned in any discussion or report. It makes perfect sense for a sculpture of a man born in San Francisco to Syrian & American parents to prominently feature Cyrillic letters as the primary design motif. No skepticism regarding this story is warranted whatsoever. Congratulations on the fine journalism, every news outlet republishing this story!
posted by glhaynes at 8:33 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

What does the Cyrillic alphabet have to do with Steve Jobs?

Nothing. It was open source. He would have had to pay for Comic Sans.
posted by mondo dentro at 8:34 AM on February 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

I WANT TO BELIEVE
posted by NoraReed at 8:37 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

The statue is not ugly, it's innovative and revolutionary. You critics just aren't looking at it correctly.
posted by Poldo at 8:38 AM on February 26, 2014

Ugly is timeless.
posted by mantecol at 8:42 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I clicked the link thinking, "Oh, it can't be that -- WHAAAAAAAAAAT?"
posted by maudlin at 8:44 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Did anyone stop to consider that maybe a proper memorial to Steve Jobs should be really, deeply ugly?
posted by Naberius at 8:45 AM on February 26, 2014 [9 favorites]

Remember the first reviews of Maya LIn's Vietnam War Memorial?

Someone was wrong about art once, therefore you're opinion about this sculpture is probably wrong. (Because opinions about art can be wrong.)
posted by straight at 8:46 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

If it's real then it's a fitting tribute to the man.
posted by codacorolla at 8:46 AM on February 26, 2014

I like it. It's totally arresting, original, will be really imposing when full size and it kind of denies categorisation. I'll see myself out.
posted by billiebee at 8:47 AM on February 26, 2014

Well, I might not know much about art, but I know what I don't like.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:49 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

And Maya Lin's memorial was hated because it was too simple and didn't feature any representations of human beings. This sculpture has only one of those issues.
posted by maudlin at 8:50 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

You think you hate it now ... Wait'll you see it rendered in brushed metal.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:53 AM on February 26, 2014

It really doesn't much like him at all, does it?
posted by benito.strauss at 8:56 AM on February 26, 2014

Reminds me of Captain Christopher Pike. Needs lights. Beep.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:57 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

whatever, man, that's just like, your opinion
posted by LogicalDash at 9:00 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

but alas Jobs was probably one of the few who could overseen such a project and done justice to it

What? No he wasn't. The man wasn't the lone artistic god capable of capturing his own essence in physical form. Tons of people could have done it - it's daft to think otherwise.

I would like it a hell of a lot more if it was a Pez dispenser, though.
posted by gadge emeritus at 9:01 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

I can't find any articles from before this week on this, and especially not ones with the super specific 10,200 entries mentioned. I'm going to second glhaynes and voice my strong suspicion that this is at all real until Apple itself weighs in.
posted by jetlagaddict at 9:06 AM on February 26, 2014

Seriously, if Ashton Kutcher and Samsung are behind this monstrosity, I'll get a Zune tattoo out of protest.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:07 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

easily confused: "My first thought about the head was, why is Captain Picard on there?!?"

I am Locutus Steve Jobs of Borg Apple.
Resistance is futile.
You will be iSsimilated.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:08 AM on February 26, 2014

Metafilter: worse than you would get just by accident
posted by univac at 9:10 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

They should have just ripped off XKCD
posted by VTX at 9:10 AM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Seriously, if Ashton Kutcher and Samsung are behind this monstrosity, I'll get a Zune tattoo out of protest.

lol I hadn't thought of Zune Tattoo Guy in YEARS.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:11 AM on February 26, 2014

In some near future edition of a phrase dictionary, this picture will be next to "what is this I don't even."
posted by Foosnark at 9:13 AM on February 26, 2014

Then a band of apes will come and touch it and invent Apple's next new killer product.

That statue looks like something a thousand monkeys with a thousand hammers and chisels and blowtorches spent a thousand days coming up with. Bill Gates must have had quite a giggle when he saw it.
posted by fuse theorem at 9:21 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Mr. Jobs, standing, looking to the right.
An alien chestburster is emerging from his chest and a small rabbit is hopping onto his back.
Mr. Jobs is tumescent and has a toilet seat adhered to his backside.
posted by islander at 9:22 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

You think you hate it now ... Wait'll you see it rendered in brushed metal.

No, no, the full-sized version will be made of plastic that starts out a nice clean grey colour but turns a disgusting yellow-beige after just a few months.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:34 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

It would be better without the numbers and letters IMO but it is nowhere near as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Terrifying? Nope.
posted by Hoopo at 9:34 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Maybe it represents his soul or something, Dorian Gray style.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:39 AM on February 26, 2014

It reminds me of something from Sid's Room in Toy Story. So that's appropriate, I guess.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 9:47 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

This statue, it spins?
Yup.
posted by MtDewd at 9:48 AM on February 26, 2014

It's a problem of scale. The final statue will be over a hundred feet tall. With a flashing red light on the top. Preferably not on the nose.
posted by njohnson23 at 9:55 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

And Maya Lin's memorial was hated because it was too simple and didn't feature any representations of human beings. This sculpture has only one of those issues.

Aw, come on man. Think what you like about Steve Jobs, he was a human being.
posted by yoink at 10:00 AM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Goto fail
posted by w0mbat at 10:06 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wow, this is the first time I've felt sorry for Steve Jobs.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:10 AM on February 26, 2014

STONEHENGE
posted by disconnect at 10:32 AM on February 26, 2014

Reminds me of [Star Trek] Captain Christopher Pike. Needs lights. Beep.

Me, too!
posted by editorgrrl at 10:40 AM on February 26, 2014

Reminds me of a Doctor Who villain. This whole art contest thing could be Act I of a Moffat 2-parter.
posted by Taft at 10:45 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I love the irony of this -- well -- repulsive -- statue to memorialize a man who had a genius for design.

Perhaps the sculptor should have read some of Jobs' comments on design, like: "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
posted by bearwife at 10:52 AM on February 26, 2014

And, at the base, the inscription:

Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink behind the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies,
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead,
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa.
posted by SPrintF at 10:54 AM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Reminds me of a Doctor Who villain. This whole art contest thing could be Act I of a Moffat 2-parter.

miyabo beat you to it.
posted by editorgrrl at 11:12 AM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Did Marissa Mayer design this over the weekend? She's on a tear.
posted by Camofrog at 11:24 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

Radenovic even got a call from Jony Ive himself, who was apparently a big fan of the design.

I like how the article author just dropped this name in without any explanation of who Jony Ive is or why I should apparently already know him. It's fine, dude...i'll Google it myself.
posted by rocket88 at 11:32 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Why the hell wasn't it a 30 foot tall lifelike statue of him holding up an iDevice for all to revere?

BIRD:    You mean you haven’t seen The Statue?
ARTHUR:  No. Should I have done? Good is it?
BIRD:    Only decent thing our ancestors ever did.
ARTHUR:  It looks like . . . a cellphone!
         Hanging in the sky. It’s about a mile long . . .
BIRD:    Looks like plastic. Carved from solid marble.
ARTHUR:  But what’s supporting it?! What keeps it there?!
BIRD:    Art.
ARTHUR:  Art?!
BIRD:    It’s only part of the main statue - fifteen miles high.
ARTHUR:  What’s worth a statue fifteen miles high?
BIRD:    It was of great symbolic importance to our ancestors;
         It’s called ’Arthur Dent Throwing the iPhone’. . . .

In a moment, we realised the truth: Just because the little bitches liked us, didn’t mean we had to like ‘em back. And that night we rounded up every last one of the little creeps . . .

posted by Herodios at 11:35 AM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

It seems not unlike a Giacommetti sculpture. Not a fan of the man, but the artwork seems... ok?
posted by combinatorial explosion at 11:37 AM on February 26, 2014

Pretty sure Cohle and Hart find one of these in an abandoned, half-flooded school in Episode 8.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:43 AM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

I like how the article author just dropped this name in without any explanation of who Jony Ive is or why I should apparently already know him. It's fine, dude...i'll Google it myself.

Fair point, but the author can be forgiven for assuming anybody who cares about this knows who Ive is.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:57 AM on February 26, 2014

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.
Also, the horrible statue makers.
The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently.
Maybe they can't even see at all.
They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
Or aesthetics.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because...
I mean...
Just look at this thing!
Ugh.
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:10 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Perhaps that plinth thing was supposed to have been trimmed off, leaving only a very patrician, Roman-style rendering of the head. You know, like "flash" from a mold that the QA guy makes sure is gone before the item is buffed and packed.

Please say it's this.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:14 PM on February 26, 2014

"Ha! Bargon wan chee kospah ooh! Peecha wanchee lockhba tang nannee du chonky troi."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:37 PM on February 26, 2014

Also:


I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `A vast and numbered plinth of stone
Stands in the desert. Near it, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear --
"My name is Steve Jobs, king of kings:
Can you believe this fucking thing?"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:43 PM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

THIS is what won out of 10,000 entries?! I weep for art.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:24 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Nah, c'mon. It's a joke, right? Somebody's performance art? Where's Shia LaBeouf?
posted by tyllwin at 2:46 PM on February 26, 2014

"It reminds me of that Octavia Butler story where men get impregnated by alien centipedes."

-A friend
posted by Ndwright at 3:57 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I fucking love this thing. I honestly can't think of anything better to go in the center of this. I hope they make it a hundred feet tall and otherwise don't change a thing. It will be like an Italian Futurist painting come to life. Really, it's absolutely perfect. I almost wish I could be around to see the post-apocalyptic religious cult that coalesces around JOBS01, for purely academic reasons.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:57 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's absolutely butt ugly.

An alien chestburster is emerging from his chest and a small rabbit is hopping onto his back. Mr. Jobs is tumescent and has a toilet seat adhered to his backside.

Exactly!

It's perfect.
posted by jquinby

Indeed it is.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:07 PM on February 26, 2014

It will be like an Italian Futurist painting come to life.

Out of curiosity, how so? My understanding of the Futurists is that they were committed to images of speed and motion, trying to capture all aspects of an object at once. When I think of Futurist sculpture, I think of Boccioni's Unique Forms of Continuity in Space, and for art I think of Boccioni's Forces of the Street. (Okay, two works by the same artist, a bit redundant, I concede. This is getting subjective, but to me the Jobs statue is very static & fixed. Why Futurism?
posted by Going To Maine at 8:40 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm not thinking of just the sculpture, but a (much larger) obelisk in the center of Norman Foster's panopticon (which really needs a racetrack around the roof). Something that would have been painted by Alessandro Bruschetti or Gerardo Dottori.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:56 PM on February 26, 2014

They should put one of these in every Mac.
posted by homunculus at 11:51 PM on February 26, 2014

"That sentiment. That's Job's legacy, right there."

Well, that and a campaign to bully companies across the industry into fixing wages.

Previously.
posted by homunculus at 11:54 PM on February 26, 2014

An obelisk is the phallic representation of I believe Horus
So Obelisk = Dick = Jobs.... Yea sounds about right.
Say what you want but that much is true.
posted by Insurance Hitman at 4:43 AM on February 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

An obelisk is the phallic representation of I believe Horus

interpretations like this almost always leave me with the sense that certain art history types are just always thinking about penises
posted by Hoopo at 9:40 AM on February 28, 2014

interpretations like this almost always leave me with the sense that certain art history types are just always thinking about penises

There is a wide swath of people out there who are just always thinking about penises, visit any public restroom graffiti wall ever.
posted by edgeways at 9:54 AM on February 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

An obelisk is the phallic representation of I believe Horus

Actually, the statue is terrifically reminiscent in form to the ancient Greek herm--a kind of apopotraic boundary marker--which typically featured a phallus emerging from the rectangular plinth.
posted by yoink at 9:56 AM on February 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

I believe Horus

Horus said it. I believe it. That settles it.
posted by homunculus at 11:45 AM on February 28, 2014

(Oops, the above link is possibly nsfw.)
posted by homunculus at 12:42 PM on February 28, 2014