As Easy As Folding A Waffle

February 26, 2014 12:12 PM

Taco Bell's latest food experiment: waffle-based breakfast tacos.
posted by The Whelk (139 comments total)

I appreciate their restraint in not calling it the Waco.
posted by zamboni at 12:13 PM on February 26, 2014 [31 favorites]

jesus christ taco bell breakfast at a mexican "restaurant" isn't that tough. it's called a breakfast burrito, look it up.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:14 PM on February 26, 2014 [17 favorites]

Taco Town! In Arabic, because why not.
posted by disconnect at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2014

TACO TOWN!!!
posted by Sys Rq at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

They have a breakfast burrito on the menu, they just also have a waffle breakfast taco, and it's awesome, in the sense that it generates actual awe.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2014 [15 favorites]

They already have a product called the breakfast burrito, and it's actually a burrito in form (contents wrapped in a flat). This is more like a taco (open on top). I do give them some points for not just finding yet another way to recombine their classic five ingredients.
posted by dhartung at 12:17 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

huh, the concept sounds pretty good. I had a "chili waffle" at a diner in town, and a fancy salad and goat cheese waffle at a waffle shop in Ann Arbor. Both were excellent.
posted by rebent at 12:18 PM on February 26, 2014

I must be the only person that remembers when Taco Bell did breakfast back in the 90's. Got me through many days of wage slave work.
posted by davelog at 12:19 PM on February 26, 2014

Waffles? Why not big puffy tortilla-croissant hybrids?
posted by clockzero at 12:19 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Truly we are living in the darkest timeline!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:21 PM on February 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

What the fuck is a crunchwrap?
posted by Sophie1 at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

On the one hand, the super-shiny orange ooze all over everything in the picture is really off-putting. On the other hand, A.M. Crunchwrap. I can't remember the last fast food I ate, but if you drove me through a Taco Bell I would order and eat half a dozen Crunchwraps even if I wasn't hungry.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Hasn't the Bell tried doing breakfast before? I could've sworn they had. Anyway, I'll give these a shot, I guess.
posted by jonmc at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2014

What the fuck is a crunchwrap?

It's an unchwr wrapped in crap.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:24 PM on February 26, 2014 [82 favorites]

A crunchwrap is like if you took a double-decker taco supreme and flattened it. It's every ingredient Taco Bell stocks, together at last. Plus you can eat it while you hold a 40 in the other hand.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:26 PM on February 26, 2014 [16 favorites]

A million stoners cry out, "Yes! Please!"
posted by klangklangston at 12:27 PM on February 26, 2014

What the fuck is a crunchwrap?

Take a soft tortilla. Smear it with refried beans or melted 'cheese' product.

Use this goop as glue to affix said tortilla to the outside of a taco shell.

I am ashamed.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:27 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Sophie1: "What the fuck is a crunchwrap?"

I looked it up. Soft flour tortilla and crunchy "tostada." Which is a fried ("toasted") tortilla. So basically it sounds like they're pairing a fried tortilla with a raw one.

It sounds stupid as hell.
posted by zarq at 12:29 PM on February 26, 2014

Heh. I should have previewed, fffm :)
posted by zarq at 12:29 PM on February 26, 2014

klangklangston: "A million stoners cry out, "Yes! Please!""

Not my experience. I was fairly stoned a couple nights ago when my gf screamed "Oh god, look at this--" and spun her laptop around to show me a picture of the waffle taco. I just kind of grimaced and turned away in horror. That doesn't even look like food to me.
posted by mannequito at 12:32 PM on February 26, 2014

America barely survived the McGriddle. NOW THIS?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:33 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

This. This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:33 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

The saccharine bough of the Waffle Taco
Contemplating a user name change. Or a legal name change.
posted by vorpal bunny at 12:34 PM on February 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

"Not my experience. I was fairly stoned a couple nights ago when my gf screamed "Oh god, look at this--" and spun her laptop around to show me a picture of the waffle taco. I just kind of grimaced and turned away in horror. That doesn't even look like food to me."

SUBMIT TO FOURTH MEAL
posted by klangklangston at 12:36 PM on February 26, 2014 [14 favorites]

"If you want to predict the future, just think about how bad it could be and make a joke out of it, and there you go."
posted by phaedon at 12:36 PM on February 26, 2014 [13 favorites]

I don't see how this is appreciably different from a McGriddle, honestly, aside from being sort of wrapped instead of being a sandwich-shaped item. The McGriddle is incidentally the most addictive of McDonald's current breakfast items. Not that I would know from personal experience or anything; this is obviously just what people tell me.
posted by koeselitz at 12:38 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'd eat the heck out of that entire breakfast menu.
posted by likeatoaster at 12:38 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Use this goop as glue to affix said tortilla to the outside of a taco shell.

No, it's a tostada with the standard cheese/bean/meat/shitty lettuce wrapped in a soft flour tortilla. It has a sort of disc shape.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:39 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

And, I don't know, maybe we put the Mexican Pizza toppings between two pancakes. Call it a pan-quito or some shit. Make a note here: definitely comes with syrup packet.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:42 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Crunchwrap - A warm, soft, flour tortilla filled with seasoned beef, warm nacho cheese sauce, a crunchy tostada shell, reduced-fat sour cream, lettuce and tomatoes and then wrapped up and grilled for maximum portability.
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:42 PM on February 26, 2014

I'm certain I do not want any part of my non-cereal breakfast to be crunchy.
posted by inturnaround at 12:44 PM on February 26, 2014

They delved too greedily and too deep, and disturbed that from which they fled.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:44 PM on February 26, 2014 [26 favorites]

i fucking love a crunchwrap and i can pretty much promise i'll try their breakfast crunchwrap. when i was a vegetarian i'd replace the taco meat with rice.
posted by nadawi at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2014

A.M. Crunchwrap sounds like the name of some impressively-mustachioed 19th century eccentric/philanthropist.
posted by anthom at 12:50 PM on February 26, 2014 [23 favorites]

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a waffle stamping on tortilla — forever.
posted by wcfields at 12:50 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

If it were sold by Waffle House (you know, people who actually specialize in waffles and breakfast-y foods) I'd buy it. But Taco Bell has always struck me as dysentery waiting to happen.
posted by zarq at 12:52 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Have we learned NOTHING from the McGriddle?

OTOH, I'm ALL about the crunchwrap. All about it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:53 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

No, it's a tostada with the standard cheese/bean/meat/shitty lettuce wrapped in a soft flour tortilla. It has a sort of disc shape.

Derp. I have confused the crunchwrap with whatever the fuck they called that thing I described.

Then again I am, oh let's just say an avid member of Taco Bell's obvious demographic, so memory problems are to be expected.

Have we learned NOTHING from the McGriddle?

We learned that we must hunt down whoever created that INSIDIOUS DELICIOUS CRACK FOOD and kill them. Kill them with fire.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:53 PM on February 26, 2014

Wake me up when they have a waffle with Doritos Loco powder all over it.

(Or try to wake me up presuming that my eating habits have not, in fact, already killed me.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:55 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

fffm - you're talking about a double decker taco
posted by nadawi at 12:56 PM on February 26, 2014

Waffle tacos - what the Portland food cart Flavour Spot calls Dutch Tacos - are delicious. They're a waffle folded in half around delicious filling, like sausage and maple, so what's not to like? Trying to find a good photo of one led me to a Taco Cleanse blog entry, which proves that waffle tacos are an important part of a balanced all-taco diet.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 12:57 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yet another bit of precious Navajo heritage stolen by the white man.
posted by Nelson at 1:00 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

nadawi, it had a specific name though. Was that the Gordita? I can't remember, and I am not going to Google because I am already in what might be called a culinarily adventurous state of mind and there is a Taco Hell ten minutes away and my hands already seem to be applying socks to my feet

send help

and rolaids
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:00 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

fffm - there's a double decker gordita - same idea, except it's flatbread on the outside, not a tortilla. to my knowledge it's always been called the double decker.
posted by nadawi at 1:02 PM on February 26, 2014

In rare cases when we have crunchy taco shells at home, sometimes I make double-decker tacos and then high-five myself.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:04 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

According to the inexplicable Taco Bell wiki, there is/was a Grande Soft Taco that had two soft taco shells with a layer of nacho cheese welding them into one solid object.
posted by graymouser at 1:05 PM on February 26, 2014

huh - apparently there's a taco bell wiki - double decker taco. and oh, i was wrong - the one with the flatbread is called a cheesy gordita crunch.
posted by nadawi at 1:05 PM on February 26, 2014

"A million stoners cry out, "Yes! Please!""

As a member of the stoning community, I have to cry foul.
posted by doctor_negative at 1:06 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

jesus christ taco bell breakfast at a mexican "restaurant" isn't that tough. it's called a breakfast burrito, look it up.

"breakfast" "burrito" at a "mexican" "restaurant"
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:08 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

i feel like what non-stoners think of when they think of stoner food is just what 15 year old boys eat with or without weed.
posted by nadawi at 1:09 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

"i fucking love a crunchwrap and i can pretty much promise i'll try their breakfast crunchwrap. when i was a vegetarian i'd replace the taco meat with rice."

Beans work too.
posted by klangklangston at 1:09 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

huh - apparently there's a taco bell wiki

dammit internet why
posted by solotoro at 1:12 PM on February 26, 2014

klangklangston - totally. sometimes i found the structural integrity was compromised by the beans, though.
posted by nadawi at 1:14 PM on February 26, 2014

Vaguely on topic: Taco Bell currently has their chili cheese burritos back for a limited time (after several years of them being available at roughly two Taco Bells in the entire country). They're quite tasty.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 1:15 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

After being burned by the doritos taco just being a regular taco shell blasted with gross dust, i don't know if i'm going to buy into this. Their specialty shock value stuff always seems somewhat 1/2 to 3/4 assed compared to say, what jack in the box does with ridic stuff.

Seriously though, i felt defrauded by that doritos taco.
posted by emptythought at 1:16 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

If the great minds of America can invent McGriddles and waffle tacos, would it kill them to at least try to invent a savory breakfast menu item that doesn't have fucking eggs? As much as I love hash browns, I'd like to have at least a couple more options.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:18 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

but eggs are delicious you see
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:21 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Metroid Baby - you might try asking your taco bell to put bacon or sausage on their cheesy fiesta potatoes. that'd be a pretty tasty shitty breakfast, i bet.
posted by nadawi at 1:22 PM on February 26, 2014

"A million stoners cry out, "Yes! Please!""


I have been to Taco Bell a time or two, and I am pretty sure that 98% of the menu was influenced by the contents of a ceramic bong shaped like a wizard.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:23 PM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

"If you want to predict the future, just think about how bad it could be and make a joke out of it, and there you go."

OH GOOD, a flimsy excuse to share this Actual Conversation I had with my mother last night:

Mom: Did you know they changed the name of the Military Channel?
Me: *befuddled because she knows I've never watched the Military Channel* No. *pause* What did they change it to, the Heroes Channel?
Mom: What?
Me: Nothing, what did they change it to?
Mom: The American Heroes Channel.
Me: *stiffled sobbing*
posted by entropicamericana at 1:24 PM on February 26, 2014 [29 favorites]

McGriddles are a salty-sweet compulsive shamefood that I can only picture on a trendline whose unholy hyperbolic limit is some kind of smoked pulled 'long pork' made out of human infant and smothered in some kind of weird cherry-coke msg spice mess.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:25 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
posted by edheil at 1:26 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Why don't all restaurants serve machaca? Seriously.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:28 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

compulsive shamefood

Y HALLO THAR NEW SOCKPUPPET NAME
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:28 PM on February 26, 2014 [9 favorites]

My twitter timeline was full of Austinites opining that if we wanted a breakfast taco, the last place we needed to be looking was Taco Hell. (And if I want a waffle-with-protein, chicken and waffles, please.)

Taco Bell is for when you're desperate, like when I was living in suburban New Jersey and it was the only "Mexican" food other than chilis for three counties, and in Austin, I'm not that desperate. Also, it really does sound like a McGriddle and those are pretty gross.
posted by immlass at 1:30 PM on February 26, 2014

Once they figure out how to make a cronut taco we will all die.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

McGriddles are fantastic especially with a can of Budweiser.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:31 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Once they figure out how to make a cronut taco we will all die.

With sour cream, guacamole and bacon. And extra cheese.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:32 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Mmmm bacooonnnnnn*mouth opens wider than the earth, the stars fall*
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:34 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

On the topic of fast food breakfasts, I'm somewhat ashamed to say I could eat sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins for every meal, always, forever. This is why I avoid McDonald's in the mornings. I also can't buy those english muffin breakfast sandwiches that you store in the freezer, or make them myself, because I lack the self control to not CONSUME ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW.

I can only hope this waffle thing isn't similar to that.

_{I live in a part of Texas now that has a real mish-mash of cultures and there's these german things that are like a yeast roll and inside is egg, sausage and cheese, or bacon too, oh lawd. Do want. Right now.}
posted by Malice at 1:36 PM on February 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

We learned earlier this week that little kids in the U.S. have actually become less obese lately. We actually seemed to be making some progress, and now Taco Bell comes along with this abomination.

Truly we are living in the darkest timeline!

This can't be the best of all possible worlds. Voltaire would write about this "taco" if he was still around.
posted by Area Man at 1:36 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

You would think from the way they struggle with this that nobody in Mexico actually eats breakfast or something. But it's weird. Like, their tacos do not register as "Mexican" to me, but I think they're usually basically edible. But the further away you get from that, the less edible. Those "cinnabon delight" things? Revolting. I don't know what they're frying them in, but it's an affront to god, that's what it is. I strongly suspect that this may be an issue of Taco Bell managers not actually knowing how to maintain fryers, because this didn't used to be a thing they really had to worry about.

And I think breakfast falls into that same category. Stick to what the workers find familiar. Anything else might have tasted okay when it was formulated, but your chances of getting that version of it from your local drive-through is slim.
posted by Sequence at 1:42 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

As an American living in Belgium I posted a picture of these ...cultural objects on my facebook with an exhortation to behold this Belgian cuisine made truly American. While a significant number of my American facebook friends found this hilarious, the strained confused and hopeless silence from my Belgian facebook friends was deafening.

Everything about this is amazing.
posted by Blasdelb at 1:43 PM on February 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

Metafilter: It's an affront to god, that's what it is.
posted by zarq at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

There were tacos around when Voltaire was writing but he was too lazy to try one. That's why he's such a grumpy gus.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:44 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't see how the answer to this question wasn't putting ground beef and cheese into the waffle batter, then topping the cooked waffle with salsa. I would also accept a thin waffle cooked to crispiness and then broken into quarters and topped with regular nacho toppings.
posted by troika at 1:45 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

What, no Five Layer Shredded Waffle Breakfast Salad Bowl Extreme™? Taco Bell, I am disappoint.
posted by mosk at 1:52 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm'a gonna go to Waffle House and order my usual: a waffle taco. That's a waffle in the shape of a taco, filled with hash browns "all the way". And egg and bacon.

This doesn't actually exist though, except in my head.
posted by ardgedee at 1:52 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

I hate to out people's twitter statements in this forum but I feel this needs to be revealed for the good of humanity:

The Whelk hates all breakfast food.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:58 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

You've gone to far, Taco Bell. You can't play God like this!
posted by brundlefly at 2:11 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Whelk hates all breakfast food.

Oh, god, this calls into question everything he's ever posted!!!
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:11 PM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

Don't know about cronut tacos, but I'm now picturing buttermilk fried chicken w jalepeno slaw stuffed in a kouign amann and flash fried.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:17 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Kolaches? I thought those were more influenced by Czech settlers (who also use vinegar on their BBQ like the insane North Carolinians) to Texas than Germans.

Bingo.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:20 PM on February 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Some deep, dark part of me wants to pour a pint of syrrup on that waffle taco eat it up.
posted by SpacemanStix at 2:22 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Whelk hates all breakfast food.

See, that doesn't make sense to me. All I even wanted for my birthday this year was to have breakfast for dinner.
posted by SpacemanStix at 2:23 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

breakfast for dinner is awesome - waffles and pancakes are best after 8pm or so.
posted by nadawi at 2:25 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Dutch baby dunch!
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:27 PM on February 26, 2014

Because I've always wanted to eat a piano leg for breakfast.
posted by Pudhoho at 2:29 PM on February 26, 2014

I'm the anti-Ron Swanson apparently.
posted by The Whelk at 2:37 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

This has nothing on the IHOP fajita. (Not actually on menu)


But if you order a Meat lovers omelette with extra pancakes, scoop a sixth of the omelette into each pancake. There it is.

I don't often go to IHOP, but when I do, this is almost always my order.
posted by Debaser626 at 2:48 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Why don't all restaurants serve machaca? Seriously.

Because in northern Mexico machaca is a glorious dish made out of dried (and I think pounded) beef, but in the US it is just a way to use up some of yesterday's braised and shredded meat. That mushy stuff is fine in its own way, but has nothing to do with machaca and it's almost a guarantee that if you order here it will be a sad breakfast indeed.

At this point Taco Bell is pretty much its own national cuisine, no more "Mexican" than these new waffle tacos are "Belgian." Their basic stuff remains my guilty pleasure, but I skip the goofy stoner creations, like the Dorito tacos. Late evenings are funny, every stoner in town heads there and people stand there struggling to order while totally baked. "Uh, I'll have, uhhhh, four tacos, and uh, two double gorditas, and uh...."
posted by Dip Flash at 2:48 PM on February 26, 2014

people stand there struggling to order while totally baked

This would be why I have a pizza place on speed dial.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:56 PM on February 26, 2014

Seamless web people! All the delivery places near you plus you don't even have to talk to anyone! Revolutionize your stoned house parties.
posted by The Whelk at 3:01 PM on February 26, 2014

At this point Taco Bell is pretty much its own national cuisine, no more "Mexican" than these new waffle tacos are "Belgian."

So nothing's changed then.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:07 PM on February 26, 2014

in my shitty oklahoma town the only thing that delivers is chain pizza. the food options don't get much better if you get take-out. i can't wait to get back to a hipster college town with food trucks and thai delivery.
posted by nadawi at 3:21 PM on February 26, 2014

nadawi: " sometimes i found the structural integrity was compromised by the beans, though."

Struggles to make overthinking plate joke, comes up empty.
posted by chavenet at 3:26 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Kolaches? I thought those were more influenced by Czech settlers (who also use vinegar on their BBQ like the insane North Carolinians) to Texas than Germans.

I thought they were Kolaches, but every time I refer to them as Kolaches around here, I get corrected. So I guess they are not Kolaches.

Down in South Texas that's what we called them, though.
posted by Malice at 3:27 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Not ashamed to admit I enjoy both the McGriddle and the Crunchwrap and I don't even smoke weed. I will probably try the waffle taco when it shows up.
posted by spitefulcrow at 3:28 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've attempted to have taco bell twice in the last half decade or so, both times falling over drunk, and both times the smell of the bag led me to say nope and throw the whole mess away without a bite.
posted by Kwine at 4:04 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Why don't all restaurants serve machaca? Seriously.

You and I are now best friends.
posted by sideshow at 4:46 PM on February 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Taco Bell is responsible for one of the more hilarious moments in defensive restaurant signage--back in 2011 there was a bit of a dust-up about what percentage of their ground beef was actually ground beef. Per Taco Bell: the filling is "88% Beef and 12% Secret Recipe." Oh, how comforting. Anyway, there were signs posted in my local Taco Bell reading "Of Course It's Real Beef," with a screed about how they couldn't possibly pass off anything else as the genuine article and so forth and so on. This led to some amusing riffing along the lines of, "Of Course The Tacos Aren't Poisoned," "Of Course It's Real Beef. Who told you otherwise? Just tell us where they live. All we need is a name," and the classic, "Of Course Those Orphans Were Dead When We Got Here."
posted by zeusianfog at 5:48 PM on February 26, 2014 [5 favorites]

There are topics that MetaFilter does not do well but Taco Bell is not one of them. They're always fun.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:14 PM on February 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

On the topic of fast food breakfasts, I'm somewhat ashamed to say I could eat sausage, egg and cheese McMuffins for every meal, always, forever.

My inside sources at the Golden Arches inform me that their long-term plan is to offer breakfast 24 hours a day. Some trial cities already have breakfast starting at midnight. Just thought I'd put that out there for ya.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:58 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

ohhh you guys don't all have mcdonalds breakfast starting at midnight? well, let me tell you, it's magical. you know when you have to do that 2am run to walmart for that one thing that is super important you have right now and you don't even care you're going in your sweatpants...? well now you can come home with that thing and whatever breakfast mcmuffin/mcgriddle/breakfast burrito survives the ride home.
posted by nadawi at 7:49 PM on February 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

There's a Taco Bell right around the corner from my house that serves breakfast, but they don't open until 8. I'm already at work for an hour by then.

Stupid Taco Bell.
posted by davelog at 5:00 AM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

It is obesity, wrapped in diabetes, inside a waffle.

When are we going to stop creating shit food? I just saw one of the sandwich shops adding Fritos to their sandwich. WHY?
posted by stormpooper at 7:10 AM on February 27, 2014

Because Fritos taste good and it is fun to eat a crunchy sandwhich.
posted by Area Man at 7:22 AM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I just saw one of the sandwich shops adding Fritos to their sandwich. WHY?

Because Fritos?
posted by uncleozzy at 7:22 AM on February 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

People have been adding chips to sandwiches for forever. It's tasty and makes the sandwich crunch nicely. It's not particularly healthy, but that's true of a lot of things.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:25 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

yeah - chips on sandwiches (or on a burger) is delicious. i have preferred chip/sandwich combos even.
posted by nadawi at 7:28 AM on February 27, 2014

i have preferred chip/sandwich combos even

1. For thou, being filled with hunger nigh on to starvation, dost seek sustenance;
2. Therefore shalt thou seek out the sign which saith SUBWAY, for thou art loved, and verily doth SUBWAY provide manna;
3. From the cornucopia of foods offered, yea shalt thou order thyself the One True Sub;
4. For the One True Sub is Steak & Cheese; it is blasphemy against Sandwich to claim otherwise;
5. Thou shalt impress upon the chattel preparing the food that they must needs include onions, green peppers, lettuce, and copious mayonnaise and barbecue sauce upon the sandwich;
6. Thou shalt also order the Value Combo, for Ruffles Sour Cream and Onion chips are a gift from the heavens;
7. And Coca-Cola shall rain into thy cup, and may runneth over from the carbonation;
8. Once thou hast obtained one's provender, one shalt open the sandwich and place therein a number of one's potato chips;
9. And thou shalt feast, and all shall be well;
10. Here endeth the lesson.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:45 AM on February 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

turkey sandwich at home - turkey, mayo, lettuce, provolone - and then doritos.

lays chips go on burgers - flavor depending on the burger contents and toppings.

fritos obviously go in burritos, not sandwiches.

ruffles on ham

baked lays on subway sandwiches
posted by nadawi at 7:50 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Pittsburgh version: french fries on every goddamned thing.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:52 AM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I always enjoy these horrifying insights into how you people live.
posted by The Whelk at 7:58 AM on February 27, 2014 [7 favorites]

What's this "you people?" You're being a junkfoodist. You better check your privilege.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:09 AM on February 27, 2014

Not nearly as good as a chicken and waffle taco, which can be obtained at one of the chicken and waffle places in Austin.
posted by jaksemas at 8:40 AM on February 27, 2014

Pittsburgh version: french fries on every goddamned thing.

Aw, man, now I miss the O.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:55 AM on February 27, 2014

Could fritos be incorporated into a breakfast food?
posted by Area Man at 9:47 AM on February 27, 2014

Frito Breakfast Burrito
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:47 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I probably have just Fritos for breakfast at least once a month, so probably.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 9:58 AM on February 27, 2014

Have you folks heard of this "dish" where you take a bag of fritos, open it, add cheese, chili, and possibly some other ingredients, mix it up in the bag, and then just eat out of the bag with a fork? I've never had this, but I have a vague memory of some Iowans claiming it was offered as a lunch item at their school cafeterias.
posted by Area Man at 10:26 AM on February 27, 2014

it was fairly popular in tech support and local gas stations have fritos in special bags to make this easier.
posted by nadawi at 10:31 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

see, horrifying insights.
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 AM on February 27, 2014

i thought it had a different name when served in the bag? but i could be wrong about that.
posted by nadawi at 11:20 AM on February 27, 2014

The wikipedia page mentions some specific names for frito pie in a bag including walking taco and taco in a bag.
posted by Area Man at 11:24 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

At the Calgary stampede (where the crazy midway foods are about 5 years behind the US state fairs), it had the appetizing name "taco in a bag".
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 11:24 AM on February 27, 2014

All these things sound like "mix a bunch of garbage together, serve hot".
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:25 AM on February 27, 2014

Salty garbage.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 11:26 AM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

But Taco Bell has always struck me as dysentery waiting to happen.

Waiting?
posted by zippy at 11:55 AM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hash brown goes on the mcmuffin, not on the side.
posted by goo at 12:12 PM on February 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

All these things sound like "mix a bunch of garbage together, serve hot".

Like a Rochester garbage plate?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:57 PM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

if you're at a place that serves hashbrowns and hamburgers at the same time (like, say, whattaburger) a great vegetarian and/or drunk option is subbing the hashbrown for the patty. completely unnecessary and delicious. jack in the box will also do this for you.
posted by nadawi at 1:29 PM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

In San Francisco, Chile Pies does a mean Frito Pie.
posted by phliar at 2:19 PM on February 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

i thought it had a different name when served in the bag? but i could be wrong about that.

My mom used to call the chili-Fritos-bag-thing a "walking taco". Which, now that I think about, it, is odd. What is to prevent one from walking with a regular taco?
posted by youngergirl44 at 5:24 PM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

What is to prevent one from walking with a regular taco?
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 5:29 PM on February 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

adding that Taco Bell aspires to be a "strong No. 2"

...Really? Just gonna softball it in like that?
posted by xedrik at 9:02 PM on February 27, 2014 [8 favorites]

Elementary Penguin: "Aw, man, now I miss the O."

Apparently they stopped serving the large fries option, the one that was enough fries for a dozen people.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:04 AM on March 4, 2014

Apparently they stopped serving the large fries option, the one that was enough fries for a dozen people.

That was the whole point of the O! An entire cafeteria tray filled with french fries. I guess you can't go home again.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:04 PM on March 4, 2014

Yes, I've had good, real breakfast tacos, but I don't think you actually want all of us to move to Austin, do you?

Now, this breakfast menu just has to hold on until I can get to America. The picture accompanying the article totally made me more homesick than any of the pictures my family has posted on facebook in the last year.
Oh, cheese. Even terrible, wax-coated fast food American cheese, I love you more than second cousins.
posted by MsDaniB at 6:44 PM on March 8, 2014 [1 favorite]