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Sinking $35K into the Ultimate Kitteh Playhouse
March 5, 2014 7:31 PM   Subscribe


 
(Larger photos at the Daily Fail)
posted by porn in the woods at 7:37 PM on March 5


I'm definitely going to do this sort of thing when I own. What I wonder about is: how do you take care of 18 cats? That's nearly a full time job. Just giving and receiving affection could be overwhelming.
posted by wotsac at 7:38 PM on March 5


I am guessing that his "well off"-ness is inherited, and his entire life is devoted to these felines, wotsac.
posted by mediocre at 7:40 PM on March 5


I like how there are tons of potted plants to knock over. That's thoughtful.
posted by uosuaq at 7:44 PM on March 5 [24 favorites]


Presumably they're also somewhat social with each other--my two cats don't even get along but having both keeps them from getting bored enough that the older one no longer insists that I be paying attention to her every moment that I'm in my apartment. How many is too many definitely depends on one's ability to care for the animals, but I'd settle for just ensuring that everything's clean and they're well-fed--this is definitely going above and beyond.
posted by Sequence at 7:44 PM on March 5


It is always good to see some gender balance among the crazy cat people.
posted by b1tr0t at 7:46 PM on March 5 [9 favorites]


*cough* toxoplasmosis *cough*
posted by Jimbob at 7:47 PM on March 5 [8 favorites]


I hope he has left his brain to science after he dies. Judging by the photographs I wager his brain is roughly 39% by weight toxoplasmosis gondii.
posted by Justinian at 7:47 PM on March 5 [17 favorites]


damn you.
posted by Justinian at 7:47 PM on March 5 [9 favorites]


@wotsac I have to think that at the 10+ stage, you are relying on the cats to give each other the majority of the affection they'll need.
posted by taterpie at 8:03 PM on March 5


Ok, now let's do one for dogs, please.
posted by triggerfinger at 8:06 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


I would totally do this for my one cat if I had the dough.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:16 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


Man those cats are hiding.
posted by sio42 at 8:30 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


I refuse to spend 35 grand on an animal that shits in my house.

That, and the fact that it's gotta be a nightmare to dust.
posted by prepmonkey at 8:36 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


If you get the chance, watch Home Movie, which features a couple who remodeled their home to suit their dozen or so cats. There's other neat homes (missile silo, treehouse, retro-futuristic electronic house), but it's hard to top the cats.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 8:38 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


My thoughts, in order. "Oh my god, the smell! The decor: yeesh! And who needs that many monitors?"
posted by misterbee at 8:40 PM on March 5


"Hell is other cats." -- every single cat in the Ultimate Kitteh Playhouse
posted by rue72 at 8:42 PM on March 5 [3 favorites]


He knows they'd rather just have a cardboard box, right?
posted by knave at 8:43 PM on March 5 [10 favorites]


On behalf of the Michaels cat trio, this house rates "why hasn't our human done this for us yet? "
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:50 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


Slowest Rube Goldberg device ever.
posted by furtive at 8:52 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


My Junior Associate Cat (front cat) was rescued by a woman who has SO MANY CATS that she bought an ENTIRE SECOND HOUSE for nothing but cats, but her ENTIRE SECOND HOUSE that she has fitted out with screen doors between every room was completely full of cats so she had to take Junior Associate Cat to the vet to find an adoptive home for him.

Senior Manager Cat (back cat) was rescued as a kitten by someone who owned no cats so he never got to live in the Real World: Catlanta house; he is the boss of teaching Junior Associate Cats the house rules.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:06 PM on March 5 [5 favorites]


That... was a lot less cat-centric than I expected. $35K for a bunch of shelves?
posted by fshgrl at 9:13 PM on March 5 [12 favorites]


Too many monitors, not enough keyboards.

And there's nothing on the kitchen counters to knock off. What's up with that?
posted by BlueHorse at 9:25 PM on March 5


The difference between a hoarder and a rescuer is money.
posted by Malice at 9:38 PM on March 5 [13 favorites]


I'd imagine they largely get on well. Most cats are pretty social with each other if they're raised that way. But as I've been sick and imobile this week, I've been a bit overwhelmed by the amount of attention my cats want, even with other cats to keep them company.
posted by wotsac at 9:47 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


I wanna see the litter-box room. Rule of thumb is n+1 boxes for the number of cats you have. Cleaning 19 litter-boxes must take up a lot of time and garbage space.
posted by snwod at 9:54 PM on March 5


Ok, now let's do one for dogs, please.
posted by triggerfinger at 8:06 PM


A proper "dog mansion" is field and sky. A green field. A pond with ducks to bother. Maybe a cow or a gentle horse to befriend. Indoors is no place for a dog.
posted by SPrintF at 9:54 PM on March 5 [14 favorites]


Am I the only one that thought, "If I lived there I would definitely need more cats?"
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:03 PM on March 5 [2 favorites]


I refuse to spend 35 grand on an animal that shits in my house.

Next time I get asked why I don't have kids, I'm breaking that one out.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:08 PM on March 5 [66 favorites]


so many hard-for-humans-to-reach nooks to puke in/on
posted by twist my arm at 10:20 PM on March 5 [6 favorites]


I'd imagine the dog equivalent is much like my friends' house, with easy clean floors, a fireplace that runs all winter, acres of meadow and forest, puddle and lake to play in, lots of attention and a steady stream of human and canine visitors. Theirs are about the luckiest dogs ever.
posted by wotsac at 10:38 PM on March 5 [1 favorite]


That, and the fact that it's gotta be a nightmare to dust.

That's what you got staff for...
posted by MartinWisse at 10:39 PM on March 5


$35K for a bunch of shelves?

Well, technically, it was $4K for the shelves and $31K for the color consultant.
posted by salvia at 10:50 PM on March 5 [5 favorites]


I'm amazed he can keep houseplants. I gave up all hopes of houseplants after Cat #2. I also raise carnivorous plants and the cats manage to worm their way into my greenhouse to bite holes into the bottoms my Nepenthes pitchers. This isn't notable until you realize my cats are all indoors-only and my greenhouse is outdoors.
posted by jamaro at 10:59 PM on March 5 [4 favorites]


Eighteen cats? I can't even imagine what that would look like. Do they, like, swarm? I mean even if the house is well-kept and huge, the smell would have to permeate after a while. Do you have to change the litterbox(es) like three times a day?
posted by dogheart at 12:05 AM on March 6


I imagine that is one stressed out goldfish.
posted by Catch at 12:15 AM on March 6 [4 favorites]


18? Damn. When he dies, his corpse will only feed then for two days, max.

Also, needs more kitteh tubes,
posted by happyroach at 12:15 AM on March 6 [2 favorites]


When I get the money, my 2-3 kittehs will just have to settle for a TARDIS kitteh fort instead.

I think a DARSIT fort would be too nerdy, and they would shun me for it.
posted by Fiberoptic Zebroid and The Hypnagogic Jerks at 1:40 AM on March 6


*cough* toxoplasmosis *cough*
posted by Jimbob at 3:47 AM on March 6


*cough* hypochondria *cough*
posted by Decani at 2:48 AM on March 6 [4 favorites]


A proper "dog mansion" is field and sky. A green field.
OK - but the green field must have a (forbidden) sofa on it somewhere.
posted by rongorongo at 3:01 AM on March 6 [4 favorites]


Just a green field? What about the stinky muddy swampy area for the dogs to roll around in and get filthy and stinky? And speaking of rolling around and getting stinky, the occasional dead animal to roll in because some dogs love nothing more than disguising their scents. (One of my brothers lived in a house with a gigantic yard that included a field and a small creek and some swampy stuff and it was absolutely dog heaven.)

And when the doggies get older, just put couch cushions on the floor, because creaky old doggies have a hard time hopping up onto the couch when they're older.

But the most indulgent dog thing I've seen was when the same brother had a pool in his backyard. The dogs could go in while supervised and he'd put them on floating mats. So the dogs - Labradors at that - could lay on the mats and be slightly in the water without actually having to swim. They *loved* it. For unsupervised, just have a kiddie pool so the dogs can lay in it when it's hot.

As for the article itself, that's a house jam-packed with whimsey, but it works with the palette and general style of the house. The work looks really well done, though, and fits into the style much better than some of the "we modified this house as a cat house" things I've seen.

I do look at the high walkways and imagine one of the cats puking down onto someone's head, though.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:43 AM on March 6 [1 favorite]


He knows they'd rather just have a cardboard box, right?

One of my two is currently sitting in a shoebox staring at me.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 4:28 AM on March 6


I had a tiny apartment in the East Village once with a loft. The cat LOVED puking on people's heads. Granted, he was an evil cat, the late Andy Warhol, the evilest of cats and he also liked leaping onto people's heads when they didn't know he was there. The vomit comet, we called him after once he puked as he leapt from the loft; if you have never seen a cat barf in midair you should probably keep it that way. But oh, the puking possibilities in this house are raising his uneasy ghost as well as the ghost of another dearly departed feline who is whispering . . . pissssss in those potted plants up high; it will take forever for them to find the source of the smell.
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:35 AM on March 6 [7 favorites]


I refuse to spend 35 grand on an animal that shits in my house.

There's a yard in the photos. I reckon 35 large gets you a cat door or two. Are American cats just stupid, or what?
posted by pompomtom at 4:43 AM on March 6


That's all well and good, but what's up with the security cameras in the bedroom and the bathroom and nowhere else?
posted by backseatpilot at 5:21 AM on March 6


That's all well and good, but what's up with the security cameras in the bedroom and the bathroom and nowhere else?

Perhaps an insight into how the cat house was funded?
posted by Dip Flash at 5:26 AM on March 6


I am guessing that his "well off"-ness is inherited, and his entire life is devoted to these felines, wotsac.

I enter the four computer screens on one desk in evidence for the proposition "works for a living". Or at least "worked for living" until the stock options kicked in. (We are talking San Francisco here.)
posted by IndigoJones at 6:11 AM on March 6 [1 favorite]


Saltillo tile--a nice choice for cleaning up after 18 cats.
posted by hanoixan at 6:14 AM on March 6 [2 favorites]


Indoors is no place for a dog.

Hm. The dog I lived growing up with always wanted to be with her people, longed to sleep on furniture, and loved the indoors heat. If you'd made her stay out all day in your idyllic field, she would have been miserable. Unless there'd been some ripe horseshit to roll in... but even then it would be good for a half hour's wallowing and then she'd want to bring the stink inside to share. (Data point: yellow lab, 1970s.)
posted by aught at 6:22 AM on March 6 [1 favorite]


So I kinda get how cute this idea is, but I can see a few problems:

1) Shelves. If the cats learn that shelves are part of the Feline Transport Authority, they're going to think all shelves are. This could be difficult.

2) That godawful mintish green ugh I can't even
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:29 AM on March 6


this is what is awaiting me in the promised land
posted by angrycat at 6:49 AM on March 6


We are talking San Francisco here.

We're actually talking Goleta, which is 330 miles south, or about one half-England.

Goleta ranges from suburban to semi-rural, so there's plenty of space for such a house, though housing and land prices are pretty high.
posted by happyroach at 6:53 AM on March 6 [2 favorites]


1) Shelves. If the cats learn that shelves are part of the Feline Transport Authority, they're going to think all shelves are. This could be difficult.

Cats are born knowing that all vaguely horizontal surfaces are their personal hangouts and FTA, and all vertical surfaces are their claw maintenance and inter-cat messaging system.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:04 AM on March 6 [4 favorites]


"I refuse to spend 35 grand on an animal that shits in my house."

There's a yard in the photos. I reckon 35 large gets you a cat door or two. Are American cats just stupid, or what?
posted by pompomtom


I used to think more kindly of cat doors before I watched a BBC program on cats. (Video, 1 hour of your life that you won't get back). Turns out that many cats will go in and out of other houses with cat doors with no reservation.
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:03 AM on March 6


Turns out that many cats will go in and out of other houses with cat doors with no reservation.

Feature, not bug.
posted by Dreidl at 8:25 AM on March 6 [1 favorite]


people shit in houses
posted by angrycat at 8:49 AM on March 6


Their own houses.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:08 AM on March 6


Feature, not bug.

I've had a strange cat come in my cat door, start a fight with my cats, and pee on the wall.

Also, raccoons.
posted by mikeand1 at 1:03 PM on March 6 [3 favorites]


*circling Michelle Pfeiffer, occasionally sliding tail on her calf*
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left
Cause I've been purring and meowing so long,
That even my mama kitty thinks that my cat mind is gone
But I ain't never crossed a cat that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a skunk you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you're murring and where you're stalking
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk

Been spending most their lives, living in the kitty's paradise
Been spending most their lives, living in the kitty's paradise
Keep spending most our lives, living in the kitty's paradise
Keep spending most our lives, living in the kitty's paradise
*rubs on back of Pfeiffer's legs*


I've got a tube for the cat out to the garage. I needed some help on that with a buddy who is a real carpenter. But it would help me improve my thumb breaking skills on wood to put something like this in. I love my cat. And you can't put a price on what you would do for them for love.

and according to the Daily Mail, cost $35,000, including a new air regulation system.

Or, at least, I wouldn't have thought so until just now.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:15 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]


That's not too bad, but doesn't compare to The Cats House in San Diego. Animal Planet did a feature on it.

I'm saddened to hear that the couple have sold the house and the new owners have ripped out the catwalk. Boo!
posted by phliar at 6:32 PM on March 6 [1 favorite]


Also, raccoons.

Where I live, almost all cat doors are operated by a little magnetic thingy on the cat's collar, sort of like a key card. Otherwise, you WILL get raccoons in your house. And possibly a skunk or possum. None of which make good houseguests.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:24 PM on March 6


people shit in houses
posted by angrycat at 8:49 AM on March 6


I've never eponywhatevered before, but...
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:35 AM on March 8 [1 favorite]


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