*takes a sip*
March 14, 2014 7:03 AM   Subscribe


 
"You shouldn't have that tape."
"Nobody should have that tape."
posted by norm at 7:10 AM on March 14, 2014 [10 favorites]


I LOLd, yes I did. I freely admit to LOLling.
posted by NoMich at 7:17 AM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


Now somebody needs to do one with Det. Hart watching Hank & Marie Schrader watching Hitler reacting to Miley Cyrus.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:23 AM on March 14, 2014 [7 favorites]


Can someone explain to me what the original tape/video was about, and why it required drinking?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 7:47 AM on March 14, 2014


So this is going to be the replacement for the Downfall/Hitler Reacts meme?
posted by klarck at 7:50 AM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


Can someone explain to me what the original tape/video was about, and why it required drinking?

It was a snuff film of the ritualistic rape and murder of a child. Which was never shown in the show, you just see the creepy guys in masks and the child, and then it cuts to Marty's reaction.
posted by yasaman at 7:56 AM on March 14, 2014


Marty (also) watches The Red Wedding (GameOfThrones spoilers)
posted by stifford at 8:15 AM on March 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


You know, I checked, and there isn't a gay porn parody of the show called "True Dick".

I mean c'mon people.
posted by The Whelk at 8:37 AM on March 14, 2014


Fine, I'll watch the damn thing already.

(Why the Lovecraft references and southern gothic didn't instantly make me go 'MUST SEE NOW' and this did, I don't know. Sheesh, I was already going to buy the DVD when it came out.)
posted by dogheart at 8:54 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ignore the last two episodes.
posted by The Whelk at 8:59 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


...they went and focused on the Two White Dudes Buddy Cop thing, didn't they?
posted by dogheart at 9:11 AM on March 14, 2014


Yeeeeep.
posted by The Whelk at 9:13 AM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


*sounds of tables being flipped in the distance*
posted by dogheart at 9:16 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


See, I read that as "Mary Hart watches..." and was hoping for some 1980s Entertainment Tonight breathless reporting.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:19 AM on March 14, 2014 [14 favorites]


Even though I knew what was coming, I still laughed, thanks to some deftly timed editing. Well played!

In the future, we will see Marty Hart react to many, many other things, and I hope at least some of them are as funny as this.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 9:39 AM on March 14, 2014


With an 8 episode arc those were always going to be the last two episodes. I am satisfied.
posted by putzface_dickman at 9:43 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


I watched that, and laughed.

But then I went and watched Carrie Fisher sing the Life Day song again, too. So there's that.
posted by bicyclefish at 9:45 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]



Ignore the last two episodes.


I wouldn't say ignore, but I do admit to feeling a bit let down.
posted by sweetkid at 9:46 AM on March 14, 2014


Sort of the way the season-opening conclusions of all those season-bridging two-parters on ST:TNG never really managed to live up to the promises of the cliffhangers from the previous season.
posted by Naberius at 9:50 AM on March 14, 2014


You know, I checked, and there isn't a gay porn parody of the show called "True Dick".

Also there's no scat porn parody called "Poo Detective."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:50 AM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


The last two episodes are just fine.
posted by planetesimal at 9:51 AM on March 14, 2014 [10 favorites]


Yeah, don't skip the last two eps, even if they are more linear than the earlier eps.
posted by joelhunt at 10:02 AM on March 14, 2014


No, of course don't skip them. My personal opinion was just that I liked them less than the rest of the series. They're still better than most TV out there.
posted by sweetkid at 10:09 AM on March 14, 2014


joelhunt: "Yeah, don't skip the last two eps, even if they are more linear than the earlier eps"

Which are a spiral or a flat circle or something, amirite?

(I kid, I love the series, including the ending).
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:11 AM on March 14, 2014


Strange Interlude: "Now somebody needs to do one with Det. Hart watching Hank & Marie Schrader watching Hitler reacting to Miley Cyrus"

"Truebreakanschlussballducken"
posted by chavenet at 10:20 AM on March 14, 2014 [4 favorites]


I've been working on a True Detective-inspired display for my library. Besides the obvious weird horror stories and philosophy books, I'm gathering up a slew of Southern Gothics and cop stories where past partners get back together to solve that One Last Case. I figure between that and a few T-Bone Burnett CDs I should be good to go, but if any of y'all have any specific title suggestions, that'd be most welcome.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:32 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


I fail to understand why people are disappointed in the ending of the series. Was it the narrative change of course, or the resolution of the central mystery? Because if it was the latter, then it would seem some people did not seem to grasp the overall philosophic theme of the show. Rust's explorations and nihilistic conclusions about the world being a merciless abbatoir and everyone being doomed to repeat the same atrocities of life over and over in search of meaning that does not exist pretty much line up exactly with the (avoiding spoilers as well as I can here, but warning none the less) resolution of the central mystery. Namely that there was no big central plan, just one batshit dude doing what batshit dudes do.
posted by mediocre at 10:33 AM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


I loved the last two episodes of True Detective, and thought that Pizzolatto's comment that anyone expecting a [SPOILERS, I GUESS] much more wackadoo ending [/END OF WHAT WERE PROBABLY NOT SPOILERS] had been ruined by contemporary TV and film structure and "forced twists" was pretty on the money.
posted by Shepherd at 10:35 AM on March 14, 2014 [6 favorites]


Exactly.

The theme of the show is both the failure of traditional models of masculinity (and I'm including Rust's bullshit 'desert mystic' persona here), and the destructiveness of even the touch of the numinous, imagined or not.

From that perspective, the last two episodes delivered heavily.
posted by lumpenprole at 10:45 AM on March 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


If someone was watching True Detective, and were completely engaged and interested and made it to the second to last episode, and then all the sudden out of nowhere they decided to just cut it off abruptly because they didn't care to see they wrapped up the show, because someone on the internet was like "skip the last two episodes" so they threw up their hands like "OKAY COOL yeah don't care how this ends" - I'd think they were so weird.
posted by windbox at 11:02 AM on March 14, 2014 [9 favorites]


Yeah, seriously, how could you hit the end of episode 6 and NOT keep going? Madness.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:06 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


With an 8 episode arc those were always going to be the last two episodes. I am satisfied.
posted by putzface_dickman


Here I've been defending the last two episodes, where I found a deep message. Thing is, I thought there were only six episodes, (hey, it wasn't my main job to watch TV properly.) Now I'll have to get back to everybody on those last two.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:08 AM on March 14, 2014


Middle aged white dudes in cars learning a lesson about feelings barf.
posted by The Whelk at 11:20 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


I mean, I'll see 'em, don't get me wrong, but yeah, Two White Dudes seems like the least interesting aspect of this story, you know? What with the southern gothic and the oppressive poverty and how it sucks to be a woman in that environment. That's leaving aside the whole "a hot time in old Carcosa" thing.

I've only seen the one episode so far, though, and I don't wanna threadsit, (too late probably) so I'll shut up.
posted by dogheart at 11:27 AM on March 14, 2014


...or that's one way to put it.

I should really always hit preview.
posted by dogheart at 11:30 AM on March 14, 2014


It's not giving away anything to say that I liked 5 and 6 as the last episodes. The eternal return, from the domestic to the abyss and back, only to find that we have finally met the enemy and it is us.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:31 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


(This comment is sort of maybe spoiler-ish, so if you haven't seen the show and care about that sort of thing, maybe skip to the next one.)



Still here? Good. Yeah, I was kind of disappointed by the last two episodes, which seemed to jettison a lot of the mind-bending stuff in favor of a fairly straightforward catch-the-serial-killer plot. I would pay good money to see something that starts off like True Detective, but sticks with that sort of thing and gets full-on eldritch by the end. I'm not asking for straight-up slobbering tentacled horrors, necessarily...just some good Lovecraftian cosmic horror in a realistic setting.



(End spoiler-y space.)
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 11:33 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


Yeah that was pretty awesome, ESP. Marty all gross and domestically horrible, eating pasta like the worlds worst, most common thing. Then like, bam it's a well directed episode of CSI: Red Dragon for two hours.
posted by The Whelk at 11:33 AM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


The direction is really slick however, I will give it all the kudos for camerawork, style and visual flare.
posted by The Whelk at 11:34 AM on March 14, 2014


Middle aged white dude making meth and learning about himself barf
Middle aged white dude in the mafia learning about himself barf
Middle aged white dudes at a funeral home family issues barf
Middle aged white dudes working at an ad agency in the 60s barf
Middle aged white dudes in the old west saying cocksucker barf
Middle aged white dudes piloting a starship finding familiar conflicts barf
Middle aged white dude is the president barf

It's so easy!

I liked True Detective, but I do think it oversold the horror. It didn't follow through, but it was still tense, well-made, and occasionally well-written. In the end it was genre, not genre-defying. I never really expected it to be the latter, and was happy for it to be the former. Eldritch Detective will happen eventually, just not today.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:39 AM on March 14, 2014 [5 favorites]


Ok, you said your piece so maybe let the thread breathe?
posted by planetesimal at 11:39 AM on March 14, 2014


robocop is bleeding, I've seen a couple of articles on the interwebs today about what to read if you're going through True Detective withdrawals. Maybe there's something on one of those lists that you haven't thought of yet?
posted by palomar at 12:00 PM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


The plot of the last two episodes was the same plot as the first six.

Middle aged white dudes in cars learning a lesson about feelings barf.

Internet critics being reductive barf.

I think the author would have been lambasted if he had chosen to write the protagonists as non-white non-males, because he likely would have trampled all over whatever other race/gender combo he could have chosen. If a person can't stand to watch a show with white males in it, however difficult it is to find, watch something else.
posted by GrapeApiary at 12:08 PM on March 14, 2014 [3 favorites]


Middle aged white dude making meth and learning about himself barf

Haven't seen enough of it yet to make much of it

Middle aged white dude in the mafia learning about himself barf


Loved it

Middle aged white dudes at a funeral home family issues barf


Loved it
Middle aged white dudes working at an ad agency in the 60s barf
Love it
Middle aged white dudes in the old west saying cocksucker barf

dunno
Middle aged white dudes piloting a starship finding familiar conflicts barf
meh
Middle aged white dude is the president barf

meh.
posted by sweetkid at 12:10 PM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]


sweetkid i dare say you missed the point there.
posted by JimBennett at 12:58 PM on March 14, 2014 [5 favorites]


what?
posted by sweetkid at 1:00 PM on March 14, 2014


I've seen one of these with Marty watching the Red Wedding. It was okay, but this one is better.
posted by Justinian at 1:23 PM on March 14, 2014


Also, one of the really great things about the format of True Detective is, disappointed or not with the last two episodes (and I was not), its a complete reset next season! So you can start over from square one and hope for the resolution you want to a new story.
posted by Justinian at 1:24 PM on March 14, 2014


See, I read that as "Mary Hart watches..." and was hoping for some 1980s Entertainment Tonight breathless reporting.

glad i'm not the only one...
posted by Zerowensboring at 2:01 PM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


We're in for one more season of True Detective that plays by the rules, no twists, then a mindfuck in the last episode of the 3rd season.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 2:11 PM on March 14, 2014


Seeing only the title "Marty Hart watches...." and reading the comment "No one should have that tape," no bullshit, I thought:

"It's gonna be the acrobats scene from the Star Wars Holiday Special."

I guess it really is that terrible. It was immediately the first thing I thought when the concept of "terrible video" came up.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:39 PM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


Also, I notice this was created (or at least uploaded to YouTube) by MeFi's own JoeGoblin, better known as Connor Lastowka from Rifftrax, who certainly have their own history with the Star Wars Holiday Special.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:43 PM on March 14, 2014 [1 favorite]


relevant
posted by Flunkie at 4:34 PM on March 14, 2014


Yeah, seriously, how could you hit the end of episode 6 and NOT keep going? Madness.

Gibbering madness.
posted by homunculus at 7:43 PM on March 14, 2014 [2 favorites]




sweetkid i dare say you missed the point there.


So I still don't know what this was about, but I was making a joke, so don't think I missed any point.
posted by sweetkid at 8:47 PM on March 14, 2014


i think it was some sort of lazy, with no preroll attempt to slag on how every popular highly acclaimed "deep" show of the past few years or even decade was just about a couple of white dudes and never women/POC/etc. total dongfest.

might be wrong though.
posted by emptythought at 9:57 PM on March 15, 2014


Okay, I saw the whole thing, and I wanted to come back and say this:

That was fucking amazing, and I loved it. No complaints. At all. I will happily eat that crow.

I am, however, glad that I knew more or less from the start that it was going to be the buddy cop thing.
posted by dogheart at 2:13 PM on March 16, 2014


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