A film about going to sleep
March 21, 2014 10:50 AM Subscribe
Before you go to bed tonight, don't forget to turn out the light.
Oh. Yet another boogie man movie.
posted by njohnson23 at 11:08 AM on March 21, 2014
posted by njohnson23 at 11:08 AM on March 21, 2014
A film about making bad choices.
posted by kyp at 11:15 AM on March 21, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by kyp at 11:15 AM on March 21, 2014 [5 favorites]
:D
posted by studentbaker at 11:17 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by studentbaker at 11:17 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Put. On. Pants.
Leave. The. Fucking. Apartment.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 11:18 AM on March 21, 2014 [6 favorites]
Leave. The. Fucking. Apartment.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 11:18 AM on March 21, 2014 [6 favorites]
I just came here to post this. Deeply unpleasant video creepypasta!
posted by painquale at 11:27 AM on March 21, 2014
posted by painquale at 11:27 AM on March 21, 2014
Put. On. Pants.
Leave. The. Fucking. Apartment.
Don't be silly - everyone KNOWS monsters can't get you if you stay underneath the covers!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:27 AM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
Leave. The. Fucking. Apartment.
Don't be silly - everyone KNOWS monsters can't get you if you stay underneath the covers!
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:27 AM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
Heh. Well done.
I love how even as adults, there's a part of us that believes that so long as none of our body parts are sticking out from under the cover, even the slightest bit, we'll be fine.
posted by jbickers at 11:28 AM on March 21, 2014 [7 favorites]
I love how even as adults, there's a part of us that believes that so long as none of our body parts are sticking out from under the cover, even the slightest bit, we'll be fine.
posted by jbickers at 11:28 AM on March 21, 2014 [7 favorites]
I like how quickly she reverted to the childhood magical thinking that keeping the lights on and staying under the covers would keep her safe. I don't even entirely blame her, because it looks like she would have had to go past it to get out of the apartment.
posted by yasaman at 11:36 AM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by yasaman at 11:36 AM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
(If you liked this video and missed the Fewdio post from a few years ago, you will enjoy it as well.)
posted by jbickers at 11:36 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by jbickers at 11:36 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
I don't think I've ever actually screamed aloud before.
posted by allthinky at 11:43 AM on March 21, 2014
posted by allthinky at 11:43 AM on March 21, 2014
Hiding under the covers and keeping the lights on are good strategies against Schroedinger monsters, but the one trick she missed was having guard cats. After all, what are cats staring at when they're looking intensily at a bare piece of wall or ceiling but demons from the seventh dimension?
posted by MartinWisse at 11:45 AM on March 21, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 11:45 AM on March 21, 2014 [10 favorites]
I first saw this morning, around 6am, while lying in bed and waking up. Though it was spooky, but also silly, how she went and hid. Then I got up and made the usual right turn to go to the bathroom, and noticed the layout of my house was similar to the hallway in the film, and also eerily lit.
Yes, I left the bathroom light on.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:46 AM on March 21, 2014
Yes, I left the bathroom light on.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:46 AM on March 21, 2014
Spooky for sure. Even spookier that the bogey(wo)man has clean, trimmed fingernails.
posted by Devils Slide at 11:47 AM on March 21, 2014
posted by Devils Slide at 11:47 AM on March 21, 2014
Just 'cause you're a monster doesn't mean you shouldn't groom. Ask any cat.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:49 AM on March 21, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:49 AM on March 21, 2014 [12 favorites]
Anyway, isn't this really a film about not going to sleep?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:51 AM on March 21, 2014
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:51 AM on March 21, 2014
I could only watch it on pause with the sound off while quickly dragging the progress slider towards the end of the short AND I STILL SCREAMED AT THE END.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:53 AM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:53 AM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
I was more scared of what that stain on the mattress was.
posted by cashman at 11:57 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by cashman at 11:57 AM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
A neat break down of how they made the "monster".
posted by sparklemotion at 12:09 PM on March 21, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by sparklemotion at 12:09 PM on March 21, 2014 [7 favorites]
I like how quickly she reverted to the childhood magical thinking that keeping the lights on and staying under the covers would keep her safe.
Just a few days ago I heard a bit by a stand up comedian (can't remember who it was for the life of me) that he/she chose to go back to sleep and take their chances even though they were sure that there was an intruder in their apartment. I must admit I've done the same thing; I was almost certain someone had broken into my place when I woke up in the middle of the night, but chose to continue sleeping and have the situation work itself out. Ignorance is bliss.
posted by Devils Slide at 12:12 PM on March 21, 2014
Just a few days ago I heard a bit by a stand up comedian (can't remember who it was for the life of me) that he/she chose to go back to sleep and take their chances even though they were sure that there was an intruder in their apartment. I must admit I've done the same thing; I was almost certain someone had broken into my place when I woke up in the middle of the night, but chose to continue sleeping and have the situation work itself out. Ignorance is bliss.
posted by Devils Slide at 12:12 PM on March 21, 2014
My partner swears that 40 years ago, he woke up in our apartment (and he was an adult then) in the middle of the night and saw a young boy crying in the corner. No matter how many years have gone by, or how many people have tried to convince him it was a dream, he can describe the entire night/interaction in really specific detail, over and over, exactly the same.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:29 PM on March 21, 2014
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:29 PM on March 21, 2014
Devils Slide, I think there's just a point of the sleep cycle in which the desire for more sleep overrides all other rationality or fear. Like, I've woken up during earthquakes, and then gone right the fuck back to sleep despite the potential for aftershocks. It's like you're still half asleep and operating on dream logic.
posted by yasaman at 12:30 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by yasaman at 12:30 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
If you want to feel less frightened by the film, do what I did and pretend there's an alternate ending they haven't uploaded yet, where the monster says, "Sorry, were you sleeping, Janice? I wanted to let you know I packed a nice lunch for you, so don't forget to take it to work tomorrow. Oh, and the cable bill is due. I was thinking I should maybe start paying more because I stay up all night watching tv and you hardly ever watch tv, you know? What do you think?"
posted by orme at 12:31 PM on March 21, 2014 [25 favorites]
posted by orme at 12:31 PM on March 21, 2014 [25 favorites]
Just one of a broad class of problems that can be solved by owning a gun and discharging it indiscriminately in your domicile at real and imagined threats.
posted by Behemoth at 12:40 PM on March 21, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Behemoth at 12:40 PM on March 21, 2014 [4 favorites]
1) Shrink browser down, mute, skip to end. Find final jump scare.
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
posted by postcommunism at 12:40 PM on March 21, 2014 [15 favorites]
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
posted by postcommunism at 12:40 PM on March 21, 2014 [15 favorites]
It is noon on a blindingly sunny southern California Friday, and when she turned the hall light off and it wasn't there I was nope nope nope.
We're moving in a couple of weeks to a house with one long (and slightly wider than normal, which feels weird) hallway. The absolute worst part of being in a new house, for me, is the process of discovering all its monsters - that freaky shadow the front hedge casts on the hallway wall, the coat rack that looks like Slenderman in the dark, the way the living room floor pops like a footstep at night when the house cools down. That time we'd just moved in and didn't yet know that sometimes the toilet flap didn't re-seat properly so the tank would slowly and silently drain until it flushed...but my husband was in bed next to me. (I just went back to sleep and hoped that they only broke in to use the bathroom and would just quietly leave if I didn't confront them.)
And that's just assuming the house doesn't have actual monsters.
So no, thank you. I've seen enough.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:50 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
We're moving in a couple of weeks to a house with one long (and slightly wider than normal, which feels weird) hallway. The absolute worst part of being in a new house, for me, is the process of discovering all its monsters - that freaky shadow the front hedge casts on the hallway wall, the coat rack that looks like Slenderman in the dark, the way the living room floor pops like a footstep at night when the house cools down. That time we'd just moved in and didn't yet know that sometimes the toilet flap didn't re-seat properly so the tank would slowly and silently drain until it flushed...but my husband was in bed next to me. (I just went back to sleep and hoped that they only broke in to use the bathroom and would just quietly leave if I didn't confront them.)
And that's just assuming the house doesn't have actual monsters.
So no, thank you. I've seen enough.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:50 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
For some reason I can suspend disbelief in a supernatural demon can only approach in low light.
I can't suspend disbelief that someone discovering this monster, would go to bed.
posted by justkevin at 1:29 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
I can't suspend disbelief that someone discovering this monster, would go to bed.
posted by justkevin at 1:29 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
"My partner swears that 40 years ago, he woke up in our apartment (and he was an adult then) in the middle of the night and saw a young boy crying in the corner. No matter how many years have gone by, or how many people have tried to convince him it was a dream, he can describe the entire night/interaction in really specific detail, over and over, exactly the same."
That's a pretty well known phenomenon, roomthreeseventeen. Sometimes people wake up suddenly, in full fight or flight mode thanks to a spike of adrenalin, and for some reason they're still dreaming for a second or two even though they're awake. So they see an apparition in the room that abruptly disappears, and the adrenalin makes the heart pound and it feels super scary.
Back in some of the more stressful times of my life, I would occasionally wake up standing at the foot of my bed, with sheets and pillows thrown all around the room, heart pounding like a jackhammer, totally convinced that I'd just seen a three foot spider on the ceiling looking down at me. Even when you realize intellectually what's happened it's still hard to physically calm down after that.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:30 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
That's a pretty well known phenomenon, roomthreeseventeen. Sometimes people wake up suddenly, in full fight or flight mode thanks to a spike of adrenalin, and for some reason they're still dreaming for a second or two even though they're awake. So they see an apparition in the room that abruptly disappears, and the adrenalin makes the heart pound and it feels super scary.
Back in some of the more stressful times of my life, I would occasionally wake up standing at the foot of my bed, with sheets and pillows thrown all around the room, heart pounding like a jackhammer, totally convinced that I'd just seen a three foot spider on the ceiling looking down at me. Even when you realize intellectually what's happened it's still hard to physically calm down after that.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:30 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Kevin Street, so you're saying there wasn't a little ghost boy in our bedroom?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:14 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:14 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Maybe one happened to be there at the same time, but it would've been a coincidence.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:17 PM on March 21, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Kevin Street at 2:17 PM on March 21, 2014 [4 favorites]
Kevin Street, Fred is pissed off that you think he's so small,
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:25 PM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:25 PM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sometimes people wake up suddenly, in full fight or flight mode thanks to a spike of adrenalin, and for some reason they're still dreaming for a second or two even though they're awake.
I had that happen to me but it was real. I woke up in the middle of the night. I had fallen asleep with the light on, as I used to do before mobile devices, when I'd do crossword puzzles or read and fall asleep. The light was the ceiling fan above the bed. I wake up sometime at around 4am, and I'm groggy, so I just lay there for a few seconds trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing (turning off the light and getting back in bed).
As I'm laying there looking in the direction of the ceiling fan, a winged cockroach jumps off the fan and comes screaming Right At My Eyes. I simultaneously scream and twist and duck under the covers, scared as shit. I laid there. Was I dreaming? After a minute I crept out of the bed, and that's when I heard it. Behind the nightstand. Buzzing and banging around between the nightstand and the wall. I got a ball of toilet paper out of the bathroom, angrily pulled the night stand out and went Muhammad Ali on that thing. I left its carcass there for a few days as proof that it was real. I damn near had a heart attack that night.
posted by cashman at 3:03 PM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
I had that happen to me but it was real. I woke up in the middle of the night. I had fallen asleep with the light on, as I used to do before mobile devices, when I'd do crossword puzzles or read and fall asleep. The light was the ceiling fan above the bed. I wake up sometime at around 4am, and I'm groggy, so I just lay there for a few seconds trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing (turning off the light and getting back in bed).
As I'm laying there looking in the direction of the ceiling fan, a winged cockroach jumps off the fan and comes screaming Right At My Eyes. I simultaneously scream and twist and duck under the covers, scared as shit. I laid there. Was I dreaming? After a minute I crept out of the bed, and that's when I heard it. Behind the nightstand. Buzzing and banging around between the nightstand and the wall. I got a ball of toilet paper out of the bathroom, angrily pulled the night stand out and went Muhammad Ali on that thing. I left its carcass there for a few days as proof that it was real. I damn near had a heart attack that night.
posted by cashman at 3:03 PM on March 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
1) Shrink browser down, mute, skip to end. Find final jump scare.
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
Is it a good idea to develop that habit, though? What happens when scary things start to happen in real life and the pause button doesn't work!
posted by XMLicious at 3:11 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
Is it a good idea to develop that habit, though? What happens when scary things start to happen in real life and the pause button doesn't work!
posted by XMLicious at 3:11 PM on March 21, 2014 [2 favorites]
I saw this the other day. I actually screamed so loud I frightened my dogs.
posted by Archer25 at 4:50 PM on March 21, 2014
posted by Archer25 at 4:50 PM on March 21, 2014
I don't even entirely blame her, because it looks like she would have had to go past it to get out of the apartment.
It's hard to describe how thoroughly and immediately this idea filled me with a sick, sinking sensation.
posted by Elsa at 4:51 PM on March 21, 2014
It's hard to describe how thoroughly and immediately this idea filled me with a sick, sinking sensation.
posted by Elsa at 4:51 PM on March 21, 2014
1) Shrink browser down, mute, skip to end. Find final jump scare.
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
I did this and watched the making of the monster video and tried to feel empathy for the monster before I watched the whole thing with sound.
posted by sweetkid at 5:00 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Simple, creative, gripping, totally fucking scary. Bravo!
posted by Zerowensboring at 5:33 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Zerowensboring at 5:33 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Kevin Street, I know exactly what you mean. For me, it feels like there's some kind of awful monstrous creepy presence there, and the best possible option is to lunge into it and... punch it out? Rip off its death mask Scooby Doo-style? Generally fuck its shit up? Like its blatant unreality is offensive and must be confronted. It's weird because I'm not really a violent or aggressive person, and just end up standing around heart pounding, confused, and with my sheets on the floor.
posted by Rhaomi at 6:33 PM on March 21, 2014
posted by Rhaomi at 6:33 PM on March 21, 2014
Talk about your shitty roommates. I'd take a dozen chain smoking, dirty-dishes-in-the-sink leavers before I'd put up with one now-you-see-it-now-you-don't prances-around-naked-in-the-shadows-and-pops-into-your-bedroom-at-night-to-turn-off-your-nightlight troll-faced envirowarrior.
posted by drlith at 7:22 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by drlith at 7:22 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
I like how quickly she reverted to the childhood magical thinking that keeping the lights on and staying under the covers would keep her safe
I dunno; it did seem to disappear earlier when the light was on and it reappeared when it was off.
I liked it, well paced and executed, right up until the jump scare at the end. Less is more in my mind; showing the monster is often a bit of letdown. This one was sort of Chucky-esque for my tastes. For me it shoulda been more shadowy and with a blank expression. I always find that unsettling.
posted by Hoopo at 8:26 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
I dunno; it did seem to disappear earlier when the light was on and it reappeared when it was off.
I liked it, well paced and executed, right up until the jump scare at the end. Less is more in my mind; showing the monster is often a bit of letdown. This one was sort of Chucky-esque for my tastes. For me it shoulda been more shadowy and with a blank expression. I always find that unsettling.
posted by Hoopo at 8:26 PM on March 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
I can't even finish this.
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:48 PM on March 21, 2014
posted by SpacemanStix at 8:48 PM on March 21, 2014
What I love most is her very Scandinavian plan at 0:44 -- "Well, now, that was odd. Guess I'll just be taping the light switch into the 'on' position, you betcha."
I'm not saying she is Scandinavian, but she does have my nose.
posted by allthinky at 9:06 PM on March 21, 2014
I'm not saying she is Scandinavian, but she does have my nose.
posted by allthinky at 9:06 PM on March 21, 2014
I love how even as adults, there's a part of us that believes that so long as none of our body parts are sticking out from under the cover, even the slightest bit, we'll be fine.
Somehow gathering up all the dismembered body parts in a pellow case and putting them under the blanket just isn't the same.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:17 PM on March 21, 2014
Somehow gathering up all the dismembered body parts in a pellow case and putting them under the blanket just isn't the same.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:17 PM on March 21, 2014
The first scare was perfect, the second a bit of an disappointment (although in line with the directors' intent: "I consider the last shot to be more of a fun release of tension than one last big scare.", from sparklemotion's link. I expected a monster rising behind her as she looks at the lamp a la something seen not long ago most def on Metafilter.
A deformed, clawed hand reaching for the switch from below would have been a much bigger scare for me.
posted by hat_eater at 4:59 AM on March 22, 2014
A deformed, clawed hand reaching for the switch from below would have been a much bigger scare for me.
posted by hat_eater at 4:59 AM on March 22, 2014
I love how even as adults, there's a part of us that believes that so long as none of our body parts are sticking out from under the cover, even the slightest bit, we'll be fine.
This rule is fastidiously enforced by my cat, who will attack my feet if they are sticking out of the covers at night.
posted by empath at 5:00 AM on March 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
This rule is fastidiously enforced by my cat, who will attack my feet if they are sticking out of the covers at night.
posted by empath at 5:00 AM on March 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
> there's a part of us that believes that so long as none of our body parts are sticking out from under the cover, even the slightest bit, we'll be fine.
There's a reason for that.
posted by postcommunism at 6:48 AM on March 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
There's a reason for that.
posted by postcommunism at 6:48 AM on March 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
The older I get in life, the more it is plainly obvious to me that ghosts exist and one would be well advised to conduct one's affairs presupposing the existence of otherworldly beings in our presence. When we bought our house, it was in an older part of town, and as we all know older buildings are far more likely to house apparitions and spirits. Candidate houses were researched in crime data bases, and were evaluated for things like creaky floors, scary trees outside the windows, and architectural style (A Victorian home over a hundred years old in the United States is so likely to be haunted that I would never even consider living or even staying overnight in one).
It is a total misconception that keeping ones body parts under the covers is protective. I think this notion came from the "monster under the bed" tradition of night terrors which is of course silly. There are no such thing as monsters. I think it is plausible that hiding under the covers does afford some protection from Aliens spying on you from outside the window, something that also plainly exists. (Ie you are much less likely to be abducted and probed if you are not easily spotted under the covers.) So yes, when I hear strange noises in the middle of the night, I do hide under the covers until I have a better sense of what I'm dealing with. But this should really only be the first step in your approach to an Unknown Nocturnal Supernatural Being. YMMV.
I leave a small light on if there is a chance I could be visited by an UNSB. They don't keep them away but I like to see what I'm dealing with. Ghosts will often give you clues to how threatening or scary they are likely to be, it might be their age, there dress, something and you're gonna want a good look at your ghost. It is important to keep in mind that a ghost will never inflict direct bodily harm but a more menacing ghost will still spook the bejesus out of you and is more likely to cause others in the home to act out irrationally and dangerously ("Heeeere's Johnny!").
Cats help. I keep a guard cat on the bed every night and I think everyone should. It is very unlikely that a being passing into our universe from the Spectral Plain will escape a cats attention. The problem is there a lot of non-significant ghost activity going on all the time. Souls conducting normal after life activity, contacting relatives, etc that I don't need to know about and some cats will pick up and freak out about it, meowing in a corner at nothing in the middle of the night. Our current guard cat is really reliable.
The ultimate last line of defense, your impenetrable fortress against ghosts -- and this was the woman in the films big error -- is safety in numbers. Everyone in the house should be piling into the same bed, or at least pairing up. Spirits know that groups of humans are much more likely to rationalize and normalize a supernatural event when they are talking it out with each other, and they don't even try. There is serious academic research postulating that human family structures were evolved and shaped by the threat of ghost harassment.
Our house is a hundred years old and located not on, but near an ancient Indian burial ground. Interestingly, we also discovered that the architect of the house died while it was being built. The pre-existing Haunting Risk Assessment Tool score is really quite high, 18 out of a possible maximum 24 and we certainly would not have bought the house had the previous owners disclosed this information. But I have to say -- with relatively simple interventions, a nightlight, a faithful guard cat, and both boys climbing into my wife and I's bed in the middle of the night, we've remained completely free of ghost activity.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:46 AM on March 22, 2014 [8 favorites]
It is a total misconception that keeping ones body parts under the covers is protective. I think this notion came from the "monster under the bed" tradition of night terrors which is of course silly. There are no such thing as monsters. I think it is plausible that hiding under the covers does afford some protection from Aliens spying on you from outside the window, something that also plainly exists. (Ie you are much less likely to be abducted and probed if you are not easily spotted under the covers.) So yes, when I hear strange noises in the middle of the night, I do hide under the covers until I have a better sense of what I'm dealing with. But this should really only be the first step in your approach to an Unknown Nocturnal Supernatural Being. YMMV.
I leave a small light on if there is a chance I could be visited by an UNSB. They don't keep them away but I like to see what I'm dealing with. Ghosts will often give you clues to how threatening or scary they are likely to be, it might be their age, there dress, something and you're gonna want a good look at your ghost. It is important to keep in mind that a ghost will never inflict direct bodily harm but a more menacing ghost will still spook the bejesus out of you and is more likely to cause others in the home to act out irrationally and dangerously ("Heeeere's Johnny!").
Cats help. I keep a guard cat on the bed every night and I think everyone should. It is very unlikely that a being passing into our universe from the Spectral Plain will escape a cats attention. The problem is there a lot of non-significant ghost activity going on all the time. Souls conducting normal after life activity, contacting relatives, etc that I don't need to know about and some cats will pick up and freak out about it, meowing in a corner at nothing in the middle of the night. Our current guard cat is really reliable.
The ultimate last line of defense, your impenetrable fortress against ghosts -- and this was the woman in the films big error -- is safety in numbers. Everyone in the house should be piling into the same bed, or at least pairing up. Spirits know that groups of humans are much more likely to rationalize and normalize a supernatural event when they are talking it out with each other, and they don't even try. There is serious academic research postulating that human family structures were evolved and shaped by the threat of ghost harassment.
Our house is a hundred years old and located not on, but near an ancient Indian burial ground. Interestingly, we also discovered that the architect of the house died while it was being built. The pre-existing Haunting Risk Assessment Tool score is really quite high, 18 out of a possible maximum 24 and we certainly would not have bought the house had the previous owners disclosed this information. But I have to say -- with relatively simple interventions, a nightlight, a faithful guard cat, and both boys climbing into my wife and I's bed in the middle of the night, we've remained completely free of ghost activity.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:46 AM on March 22, 2014 [8 favorites]
The ultimate last line of defense, your impenetrable fortress against ghosts -- and this was the woman in the films big error -- is safety in numbers.
This is a sound advice, but bear in mind that if a ghost does manifest in such circumstances - possibly not noticing that another human being is snuggling with you or counting legs in the tangle and making a division error, or plainly not giving a damn - it can backfire wildly as the "Did you hear that?" - "Hear WHAT?!" feedback loop is hard to break.
posted by hat_eater at 10:10 AM on March 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
This is a sound advice, but bear in mind that if a ghost does manifest in such circumstances - possibly not noticing that another human being is snuggling with you or counting legs in the tangle and making a division error, or plainly not giving a damn - it can backfire wildly as the "Did you hear that?" - "Hear WHAT?!" feedback loop is hard to break.
posted by hat_eater at 10:10 AM on March 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Just a few days ago I heard a bit by a stand up comedian (can't remember who it was for the life of me) that he/she chose to go back to sleep and take their chances even though they were sure that there was an intruder in their apartment. I must admit I've done the same thing; I was almost certain someone had broken into my place when I woke up in the middle of the night, but chose to continue sleeping and have the situation work itself out. Ignorance is bliss.
Was it maybe this Ray Romano bit?
posted by Sys Rq at 12:10 PM on March 22, 2014
Was it maybe this Ray Romano bit?
posted by Sys Rq at 12:10 PM on March 22, 2014
My lab is always a bit spooky if I'm here alone at night (a space that's usually busy, abandoned save for machines that quietly sigh and click at odd moments) and just as I got to the end of this the timed lights in my office faded to black. So, um, thanks for that. I'm not going to have problems concentrating AT ALL.
posted by metaBugs at 1:05 PM on March 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by metaBugs at 1:05 PM on March 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
No matter how many years have gone by, or how many people have tried to convince him it was a dream, he can describe the entire night/interaction in really specific detail, over and over, exactly the same.
posted by roomthreeseventeen
Why would any of the details change if it had been a dream? He still experienced it, whether it was real or not.
But then, I've had such realistic dreams, that I'm always confused when people make statements like, you can't see colour, or smell, or taste, or read without the text changing, or feel pain, etc etc in dreams. Well, I've definitely felt like I was doing all those things in dreams.
I've then had people ask me - How do you know you're not dreaming now?
I don't.
posted by Elysum at 4:24 AM on March 23, 2014
posted by roomthreeseventeen
Why would any of the details change if it had been a dream? He still experienced it, whether it was real or not.
But then, I've had such realistic dreams, that I'm always confused when people make statements like, you can't see colour, or smell, or taste, or read without the text changing, or feel pain, etc etc in dreams. Well, I've definitely felt like I was doing all those things in dreams.
I've then had people ask me - How do you know you're not dreaming now?
I don't.
posted by Elysum at 4:24 AM on March 23, 2014
1) Shrink browser down, mute, skip to end. Find final jump scare.
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
posted by postcommunism at 3:40 PM on March 21
ANDMYHANDSARESTILLSWEATYAMIRITE???!
posted by kinetic at 5:49 AM on March 23, 2014
2) Press pause, click progress bar backwards in small increments. Identify prior jump scares.
4) Return to final jump scare, study monster.
3) Expand browser, rewind and (carefully) unmute.
6) Press play.
posted by postcommunism at 3:40 PM on March 21
ANDMYHANDSARESTILLSWEATYAMIRITE???!
posted by kinetic at 5:49 AM on March 23, 2014
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