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Egress Methods
March 22, 2014 6:19 PM   Subscribe

Egress Methods A Twitter bot that adds one or two more to Paul Simon's Fifty ways to leave your lover. [via mefi projects]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering (29 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well, I don't think there's any need to discuss much.
posted by solarion at 6:27 PM on March 22 [30 favorites]


Ah, the fun you can have with WordNet.

Cool blog though.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:50 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


It's a law that Paul Simon's Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover is performed at every Karaoke bar every night otherwise they have to shut the operation down.
posted by hellojed at 6:56 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


Blob a stripped plague, Craig

I tried, but I think I'm infected with the plague now...

Could have made it easy, like Go shake a leg, Craig or Go lay an egg, Craig or Don't whine and beg, Craig or Knock yourself down a peg, Craig. (Another reason I dropped the "Wendell" penname)
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:09 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


Cop to a plea, Bree.
Chew off an arm, Marn.

All the other ones I came up with were dirty and sophomoric.
posted by ob1quixote at 7:17 PM on March 22


"Yell on the peg, Meg"?

That's pretty racy for being automatically generated.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:17 PM on March 22 [4 favorites]


Make a post, Goat.
posted by The Whelk at 7:33 PM on March 22


Go shit on a bat, Matt
posted by growabrain at 8:01 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


If I ever had to get up and perform at a Karaoke Bar, I'd request "Fifty Ways" and pull a list of posts from here out of my pocket to give a 'special' presentation. You have been warned.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:12 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]


Fifteen Ways
posted by planetesimal at 8:58 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]


Rocky Horror -

"Fifty ways to love your lever, fifty-one if you count the ladder!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:34 PM on March 22 [2 favorites]


I have to say that's the first time I've laughed out loud about something a computer made up.
Cringe on a man, Dan
posted by Narrative_Historian at 10:23 PM on March 22 [1 favorite]


The Hairpin: Twenty additional ways to leave your lover.
posted by ceribus peribus at 10:55 PM on March 22


Get deleted and flame, Mame.
posted by Segundus at 4:00 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Just be yourself, Dick.
posted by Daily Alice at 4:34 AM on March 23 [6 favorites]


Would that I had more favourites to give, Daily Alice. That elicited a laughsnort harsh enough to send the cat fleeing from the room...
posted by ominous_paws at 4:46 AM on March 23


> "Fifty ways to love your lever, fifty-one if you count the ladder!"

AH PITY THE FOOL THAT KICKS MR T'S DICK.
posted by davelog at 4:53 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Yes, but if you don't me might enjoy munching on your testicles.
And ain't nobody want Mr T eating their balls*.



* except maybe that one German guy.
posted by Mezentian at 4:59 AM on March 23


I like Night Vale's version.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:03 AM on March 23 [2 favorites]


D.T.M.F.A., Jay.
posted by yoink at 7:07 AM on March 23 [10 favorites]


2014 Version:

Send them a text, Rex.

Unfriend on FB, Lee

Don't even phone, Ron.

Just be gone, Don.

DISCLAIMER: This is not my AskMe breakup advice.
posted by philipy at 7:09 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Hit on their sister, mister
Stalk them at their job, bob
Go down on their mom, Tom
posted by ian1977 at 7:29 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Dump them in a ravine, Gene.
posted by The Whelk at 7:42 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Spew MRA noise, boys.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:11 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Say "let's scan your cat," Matt.
posted by yoink at 10:22 AM on March 23


Kiss another man, Stan.
Fondle another cock, Jacque.
Find another bro, Joe.
And get yourself free.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:11 PM on March 23


"Scrub a plus thong, Yong" is my new favorite.
posted by zippy at 4:07 PM on March 23


I seem to be missing the gene that makes this taste funny.

But, RobotVoodooPower's link to the creator's blog lead me to Pizza Clones, which is fantastic. Now, that's my kind of algorithmically generated text twitter bot.
posted by eotvos at 4:16 PM on March 23


Flag him as spam, Pam
Unlike her pic, Nick
Match-dot-com, Ong
Just get yourself free

Tweet from the bus, Gus
Don't need to Disqus (TM) much
Unfollow that bro, Flo
And get yourself free

(Court the craved bawd, Claud!)
posted by NoiselessPenguin at 11:59 AM on March 24


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