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Gimme $600 or the pomeranian gets it
March 23, 2014 10:36 AM   Subscribe

A Toronto woman returns from the laundry room to find her little one missing. Following a botched ransom call and online appeals for help (with grainy surveillance footage of the abduction), the three-year-old was recovered after being sold into servitude on the black market.

Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.
posted by pjenks (40 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Following a botched ransom call and online appeals for help (with grainy surveillance footage of the abduction), the three-year-old was recovered after being sold into servitude on the black market.

How was the dog sold into servitude? I saw a pic of it...it doesn't really seem like a working dog.

Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.

What?
posted by hal_c_on at 11:00 AM on March 23


Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.

Rob Ford might get high and try to eat them.
posted by axiom at 11:01 AM on March 23 [16 favorites]


Ok. Some candid sharing around my neurological "process". I glanced at the title of this post and "pomeranian" registered as "pomegranate", so my brain just dismisses it out of hand as "something something fruit". My eyes then settle on "little one missing" and "black market" and I punch into immediate outrage/alarm/I-knew-it-all-alongness, oh my god children ARE being openly sold on the black market in not just North America but omg Canada?! THEN I look below the fold and see "puppies" and I'm so relieved and then instantly ashamed for that relief and then outraged and saddened all over again.

I'm also leaving out the part where my mind briefly flashes to the Monty Python self defense against fruit skit (the pomegranate?), but it didn't seem relevant.

This took all of, what, three seconds?

Animal kidnapping is heartbreaking, and consciousness is just an illusion created by the moment-to-moment apprehension of thoughts and feelings.
posted by lumosh at 11:09 AM on March 23 [15 favorites]


How was the dog sold into servitude? I saw a pic of it...it doesn't really seem like a working dog.

We are not too far away, conceptually, from pets being stolen for the purpose of YouTube and Instagram channel content.
posted by randomination at 11:17 AM on March 23 [13 favorites]


Lumosh, I enjoy that your brain instinctively distinguishes between North America and Canada.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 11:24 AM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.

This only makes sense if you think that nowhere is safe for puppies.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 11:56 AM on March 23


Wow is this ever a misleading post with titles turned off.
posted by Mitheral at 12:16 PM on March 23 [15 favorites]


I'm reminded of this episode of Judge Judy, when this man's little dog, Baby Boy, was dognapped and ultimately sold to the defendant in front of a WalMart by the perp. The reunion between owner and Baby Boy brings tears to the eyes of even the most hardened viewer.
posted by Oriole Adams at 12:20 PM on March 23 [2 favorites]


When I was a kid, our dog actually got dognapped and they attempted to ransom it. My mom wasn't about to pay what they wanted for what was--quite literally--a beloved mutt the family found on the street and adopted but wasn't exactly a fine breeding line. She managed to convince the guy she would pay, though, and he rolled up fat, dumb, and happy to the address where she'd said she'd meet up with him.

It was the local police station and somehow even the big POLICE STATION on the sign and the parking lot full of cruisers didn't tip him off, so I got my dog back, the cops got an easy collar, and a dumbass went to jail.

Stealing someone's dog, man, that's just low.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 12:32 PM on March 23 [31 favorites]


Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude? Just because your puppy wags its tail and seems happy to see you and isn't intelligent enough to grasp the fact that it is not free doesn't make pet ownership any better than chattel slavery.
posted by three blind mice at 1:00 PM on March 23


Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude?

No. Item - the street cat that entered our house a few years back and even since has gotten free food, medical care, a warm place to sleep, and who comes and goes as she pleases. What do I get? Dead prey on the back door step.

Of course, with a name like yours, this might be a touchy subject....
posted by IndigoJones at 1:07 PM on March 23 [7 favorites]


I read Pomeranian as "someone from Pomerania".
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 1:28 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


The crooks took the man’s BlackBerry, his gold chain, then “scooped up” his pooch,...

BlackBerry? Gold chains on men? The work "scooped" in quotes? I have visions that the dog was faking his own kidnapping to flee the humiliation of this owner.
posted by 26.2 at 1:55 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


"Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude?"

My cat would argue it's the other way around: I am her servant.
posted by MuChao at 2:08 PM on March 23 [5 favorites]


"Be cute harder!"
posted by blue_beetle at 2:19 PM on March 23 [6 favorites]


Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.

This only makes sense if you think that nowhere is safe for puppies.


It's a Canadian thing. People from Toronto often think they are at the center of the universe, even if their hockey team hasn't brought home a Stanley Cup in almost fifty years.
posted by philip-random at 2:37 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude?

Is it better to let the sleeping dogs lie or wake them up and make them smell coffee? I don't know, so I decided to let the dog decide. He stretched, went for a walk and hasn't returned yet. It's been hours, I am starting to worry. On the other hand, it's spring, a great time to take long walks, and his peaceful nature has spared him from the sparring matches with local champions. So far. When I go to sleep, I'll leave the door open, so if he returns in the middle of the night, he won't have to sleep on the old sofa on the veranda. Maybe I should attach a geolocating tag to his collar... but no, bad idea. Not that he'd mind such invasion of his privacy - he doesn't seem to have any grasp of the concept - but then I'd be checking his coordinates every five minutes. I wonder if he went to empty ALL the neighbourhood dogs' bowls. It can take a while. Once I went looking for him, because I was leaving for town and I didn't wanted to leave an empty house to greet him on his return and make him worry - and when I returned after a good while, he was asleep in the veranda, awaiting my return with his inexhaustible animal patience. Sound of my steps awoke him, he yawned, then went straight to the car, apparently deciding that today he's going with me. We drove down the dirt road to the village, and then over the old bridge, and he let out a powerful bark through the open window, with paws firmly planted on the frame, tail making a small tornado inside, as if he wanted to let the troll know that he can smell him.
posted by hat_eater at 2:45 PM on March 23 [5 favorites]


Is a dog not entitled to the drool of his tongue? NO, says the owner, STOP LICKING THE COUCH. NO, says the vet, STOP LICKING THOSE STITCHES. NO, says the cat, I'LL CLAW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 3:04 PM on March 23 [6 favorites]


Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude?

My cats hold me in involuntary servitude...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 3:12 PM on March 23 [3 favorites]


I heard somewhere that corgis are the most frequently stolen dog breed. This makes me laugh all the time.

Dognappers' HQ

"Well, German Shepherds, Pinschers and Mastiffs have all fallen right out, chief"
"That's what R&D predicted, but what about the Little class?"
"Actually, relative size of bite to body seems to make catching some of them difficult without complications. Wiggliness is also to be avoided... the Doxies were like trying to pocket a firehose. Our numbers seem to show that what we should look for is along the lines of a Corg. Short neck, light enough to lift, but thick and grippable, tucks under the arm like a rolled-up rug."
"Yes... The duffel bag of dogs..."
"Yes, they're loot-shaped. Exactly, sir."
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:22 PM on March 23 [9 favorites]


involuntary servitude

Fetch those slippers.
FETCH, I say!
posted by BlueHorse at 3:23 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


In OUR house, it's the CAT that holds the people in servi--- what? really? at least twice already? Oh, ok.

nevermind.
posted by MoxieProxy at 3:31 PM on March 23 [3 favorites]


Man, Pomeranians. Probably kidnapped by vandals because of some new kind of drug manufacturing process where you harness their relentless fucking yapping and turn it into meth.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:32 PM on March 23 [7 favorites]


Involuntary servitude:
All I can say is the tasks "my" animal servants take most seriously are tasks I did not give them. For example, fly-eating, litter-box sampling and in-the-middle-of-the-staircase napping. So either I'm a lousy master or they're unionized.
posted by dness2 at 3:49 PM on March 23 [5 favorites]


Is that the one that belongs to Cynthia and Marty Ackerman? The one that has fucking papers?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 4:05 PM on March 23 [3 favorites]


12 years a pet
posted by Renoroc at 4:13 PM on March 23 [3 favorites]


Is a dog not entitled to the drool of his tongue? NO, says the owner, STOP LICKING THE COUCH. NO, says the vet, STOP LICKING THOSE STITCHES. NO, says the cat, I'LL CLAW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF.

Andrew Poma-Ryan-ian?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:39 PM on March 23


We've been trying to get our cats understand the "involuntary servitude" part of the arrangement, so far to no avail. For example, our attempts to hitch them up to a plow have been dismal failures.
posted by happyroach at 4:45 PM on March 23 [3 favorites]


Dognapping is pretty low, what kind of person steals a pet?
posted by arcticseal at 5:11 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


IN SOVIET RUSSIA, PETS STEAL YOUr heart
posted by jquinby at 5:21 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


In OUR house, it's the CAT that holds the people in servi--- what? really? at least twice already? Oh, ok.

Their network is vast and mine pretty moved in to my home on their own volition. I knew there was trouble when I opened my back door and my future cat Bianca ran inside with her Louis Vuitton luggage asking what we were serving for dinner...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 5:38 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


12 years a pet

That's like, 84 in pet years!
posted by The otter lady at 5:54 PM on March 23 [2 favorites]


I read Pomeranian as "someone from Pomerania".

Whenever I think of those fuzzy little dogs, I think of Gunter Grass.
posted by ovvl at 6:19 PM on March 23


Ambrosia Voyeur: I heard somewhere that corgis are the most frequently stolen dog breed. This makes me laugh all the time.

Man, if most corgis are like the ones I've known, I pity anyone who tries to steal one. They'll probably show up at the emergency room with everyone chewed off below the knees.

Not to say that corgis are bad dogs; they're not! But they're not defenseless, not stupid, and don't take fools kindly.
posted by Mitrovarr at 8:00 PM on March 23 [2 favorites]


Are not all pets held in involuntary servitude?

Oh, honey. No. Quite the opposite.

My rescued pooches are thoroughly spoilt. High quality food, lavish treats, a literal bushel basket full of toys. They sit on the furniture, sleep in my bed, steal my blankets even though they have their own, get attention whenever they want it. I share my morning peanut butter toast with them, my afternoon grocery store sushi, my evening roast beast.

No, they are not held in servitude of any kind. I happily serve them.
posted by MissySedai at 8:55 PM on March 23 [1 favorite]


I'm curious as to why she needed to use a handsignal trick to convince herself the dog she was looking at was hers. Didn't she recognise her own dog when she saw it?
posted by talitha_kumi at 3:56 AM on March 24


The trick wasn't to prove to herself it was the dog, it was to prove to the other person it was her dog and not some other pomeranian of a similar color.

Which makes me glad my dog has a unique pattern of spots, because I know that bitch wouldn't actually perform a trick when the chips are down.
posted by Badgermann at 5:43 AM on March 24


No, they are not held in servitude of any kind. I happily serve them.

A friend of mine has a trick with his cat. Guy holds up a hand flat and vertically, cat raises a paw and high-fives him, cat gets a treat. I can 't work out if the guy trained the cat or the cat trained the guy.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:34 AM on March 24


three blind mice: "Just because your puppy wags its tail and seems happy to see you and isn't intelligent enough to grasp the fact that it is not free doesn't make pet ownership any better than chattel slavery."

This is actually one indication of how pets being owned by humans is quite a bit better than humans being owned by other humans.
posted by desuetude at 8:18 AM on March 24


Toronto remains an unsafe place for puppies.

Rob Ford might get high and try to eat them.


Or ride them.
posted by Kokopuff at 9:41 AM on March 24


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