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Screw With A Smile
April 1, 2014 2:19 PM   Subscribe

Screw With A Smile. (not a joke. honest, see?)
posted by oneswellfoop (34 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Imagine the smile on the face of a person when they discover a screw

Imagine the face of someone trying to take apart your beautiful Jobsian creation when they find a screw that requires a bespoke screwdriver to remove!

This is kind of the definition of design wankery ("Let's take something that works, and make it design-y and not work as well.") but it certainly is a cuter way to make your objects impossible to disassemble...
posted by BungaDunga at 2:25 PM on April 1 [13 favorites]


Bah. All screws are removable with a hammer and another screwdriver.

Honestly, I'd just go around screwing these into random surfaces all over town, so people could find them.
posted by strixus at 2:34 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I get that it's cute, but it also seems like it'd be really frustrating to get the screwdriver into the head of the screw to use them at all, even for decorating.

The main utility I see for these is putting them in bars crappy enough that patrons feel like they are owed something and so steal pictures off the walls of the bathroom. It's possible people sometimes have screwdrivers they use for this purpose so stupid bespoke screws would probably help.*

*Of course, if I saw these in a bathroom I'd be more likely to steal something else like a couple of forks or whatever. I swear to God I'm usually lawful good but when I'm in a really, truly, terrible bar, especially a shitty fake Irish bar, I hate them so much that I feel that I am owed something for my time and misery, and this is why the last time we moved we had to throw out a bunch of mugs from bars I absolutely couldn't stand. I really do try to be a good person, mostly. I really do try.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 2:35 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


Screw heads with holes that will fill up with crud, and drivers with tiny bits prone to break off from excessive torque. Yep, seems like it's designed by someone who hasn't taken any first year mechanical engineering courses.

Sure, they're cute, but just make smiley pushpins and leave it at that.
posted by ceribus peribus at 2:37 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


Imagine the face of someone trying to take apart your beautiful Jobsian creation when they find a screw that requires a bespoke screwdriver to remove!

One need not imagine.
posted by jedicus at 2:37 PM on April 1 [7 favorites]


I honestly would buy these if I could. And then I would seal cool things in boxes with them, and send the boxes to people who harrumph about fun projects like this.
posted by zsazsa at 2:45 PM on April 1 [4 favorites]


It's a joke that has been produced.
posted by LogicalDash at 2:46 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Righty tighty, lefty saddy
posted by 2bucksplus at 2:48 PM on April 1 [8 favorites]


There are already a whole bunch of different kinds of screwdriver/screwhead designs, what's one more?
posted by beagle at 2:51 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Screw with a smile, washer and bolt.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:52 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


There are already a whole bunch of different kinds of screwdriver/screwhead designs, what's one more?

One Way Sex Bolt is the name of my band's first album.
posted by sparklemotion at 2:55 PM on April 1 [3 favorites]


So you screw it in with a smiley stylus, and if that doesn't twerk, you use an alan wench?
posted by Toekneesan at 3:04 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


One Way Sex Bolt is the name of my band's first album.

With James "Snake Eyes" Spanner on lead guitar.
posted by 2bucksplus at 3:08 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Or, these screws can be ordered individually as separate male and female parts.

Whatever, it's the 21st century.
posted by threeants at 3:19 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


I love the "making of" video. I think this is a really cute idea and it would please me immensely to come across one in the wild.
posted by billiebee at 4:12 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Screw heads with holes that will fill up with crud, and drivers with tiny bits prone to break off from excessive torque.

There are worse security screw head designs. It's not supposed to take a lot of torque.

This thing is no Amazing Screw-On Head.
posted by GuyZero at 4:14 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


Drunk Octopus Wants To Fight You.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:15 PM on April 1 [9 favorites]


Kano began thinking about the potential to infuse emotion into small, ubiquitous objects like screws

If you pause and consider this sentiment more deeply than one might based only on its evident pro forma role in this very brief explanation, it starts to seem completely bizarre. Encountering tiny little smiles everywhere, devoid of any reason to be glad, is certainly a clever way to imbue objects with meaning, but the emotion it conveys certainly isn't happiness. What kind of person would find ubiquitous smiling faces joyful, in the sense that it would make them feel happy? It seems like a surreal idea.
posted by clockzero at 4:21 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


It brings a new meaning to "turn that frown upside down," you must admit.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:31 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


If you pause and consider this sentiment more deeply than one might based only on its evident pro forma role in this very brief explanation, it starts to seem completely bizarre. Encountering tiny little smiles everywhere, devoid of any reason to be glad, is certainly a clever way to imbue objects with meaning, but the emotion it conveys certainly isn't happiness. What kind of person would find ubiquitous smiling faces joyful, in the sense that it would make them feel happy? It seems like a surreal idea.

Basically it only works if you fetishize the screws.
posted by threeants at 4:47 PM on April 1


I honestly would buy these if I could. And then I would seal cool things in boxes with them, and send the boxes to people who harrumph about fun projects like this.

I'm always excited about any excuse to use my angle grinder.
posted by aubilenon at 5:54 PM on April 1 [5 favorites]


It brings a new meaning to "turn that frown upside down," you must admit.

When the smile is engraved in something that is designed to rotate, you can turn it upside down by torquing it?

I mean, I just cannot countenance this irretrievably careless and slap-dash thought process that everyone seems eager to employ these days. Why do we say "brings an all-new meaning to" when some application of a well-known phrase simply literalizes it? That's not new at all, if anything, it's revanchist, because it reclaims a sense that was lost or never belonged in the first place, and if you ask me, it's merely another instance of (as Adorno prophesied, Bourdieu said, and Deleuze & Guattari proved) a cognitive impoverishment effected by the very same april fools!
posted by clockzero at 6:37 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


In this house, we only use Robertson. No phillips, slotted, torx, torx+, pozidrive, sel-o-fit, frearson, BNAE, socket-head, clutch-head, torque set, tri-wing, hi-torque, triple square, square-recess or, yes, "smiley face". Screwing is serious business.
posted by Poldo at 7:22 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


This thread is now a poll of everyone's favorite type of screw head. Robertson4Lyfe, y'all.
posted by Scientist at 7:35 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


My favorite screwdriver is two parts Sloe Gin, one part Southern Comfort and filled with orange juice, aka a "slow comfortable screw". Assuming there's no Galliano available.
posted by ceribus peribus at 8:44 PM on April 1 [6 favorites]


Screw with a smile, washer and bolt.

So you screw it in with a smiley stylus, and if that doesn't twerk, you use an alan wench?


That will be enough of that, the two of you.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:29 PM on April 1 [2 favorites]


Tri-wing, bitches.
posted by planetesimal at 9:33 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


This thread is now a poll of everyone's favorite type of screw head. Robertson4Lyfe, y'all.

Suggested amendment: favorite screw head or cocktail, as evidenced here:

My favorite screwdriver is two parts Sloe Gin, one part Southern Comfort and filled with orange juice, aka a "slow comfortable screw". Assuming there's no Galliano available.

Nice.

Also nice, though only circumstantially screw-oriented: kalamata martini, dirty as hell.
posted by clockzero at 10:15 PM on April 1 [1 favorite]


Tri-wing, bitches.
posted by planetesimal at 12:33 AM on April 2


These are the best because in about a 30 seconds with a dremel you've got a peace symbol that you can remove with a standard slot ended screwdriver. And your handiwork is centered as well thanks to the design of the screwhead. Nothing worse than getting your de-tamperproofing all catawampus.
posted by mcrandello at 12:07 AM on April 2 [1 favorite]


One need not imagine.

iScrewU™
posted by hat_eater at 12:09 AM on April 2


Not so much a smile as a rictus.
 
posted by Herodios at 4:56 AM on April 2


These really aren't that crazy of a design. There are already dozen of various security screws out there that require special bits. This is however the most asymmetric security bit I've ever seen.
posted by MrBobaFett at 6:14 AM on April 2


In this house, we only use Robertson.

you're such a square.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 6:54 AM on April 2 [4 favorites]


Well if this has become a favorite screw threat, then let me argue for the joys and fun that my two favorites entail.

Let's start with tri-wing screws, which started out being used in the 70s for aerospace, but somehow ended up on Nintendo products in a slightly modified form, and then reappeared in 2010 on macbooks! I actually really love these, because they don't seem to slip as badly as Philips or standard when driving them. Second, and even more obscure, is the Bristol, which gets used a lot on high end electronics and cameras. But most people know the pin-in-center variant from the Playstation and Xbox. There was a while when I was the only person I knew who had drivers for either of these, which made me quite a popular person.
posted by strixus at 4:10 AM on April 3


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