Rowsdower vs. Trumpy: FIGHT!
April 15, 2014 3:03 PM   Subscribe

What’s that you say? You need character drawings for your MST3k-themed RPG? Well, here’s 85 of them! Some favorites include Crenshaw, Krasker, Ryder and Rex Dart: Eskimo Spy!
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (44 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite

*sheilds lght from eyes*

It's ...too beautiful
posted by The Whelk at 3:10 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

David Ryder? I'm not familiar with that name.
posted by Zonker at 3:18 PM on April 15 [5 favorites]

That's just a perfect distillation of Puma Man's whiny, puffy charm.
posted by The Whelk at 3:19 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

I would not mess with that Trumpy. Nor would I tell him he can do stupid things. He would get all the potatoes.
posted by ovenmitt at 3:28 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Went looking for Mr. B Natural, left satisfied.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:35 PM on April 15

Little wing-ed potato!
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:54 PM on April 15

:: A-OK Sign ::

:: Pause ::

posted by Parasite Unseen at 4:00 PM on April 15 [6 favorites]

Jet Jaguar taught me that even as a robot, you can hate these stairs.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 4:08 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]

* Huh,so that's what Mighty Jack is. I've seen that episode like three times and for some reason it's hard to remember.

* Any setting that puts Batwoman alongside Hamlet is A-OK by me.

* I like the background to the Rowsdower v. Trumpy fight. The arena is lined with SMUCKERS Strawberry Preserve.


* Krasker is really more an illustration of the guy's opinion of himself than the reality.

* Yep, that's how Ross should be remembered. "What's next Ross? Hurting those you know and love? Chasing rabbits on a minibike 'til their hearts explode?"

* I feel they missed an opportunity by not having the Starfighter having a giant, suggestively-placed refueling prong.

* If you roll down to forward and press mid-punch on Creeping Terror, you can make your opponent crawl into your mouth of his own accord.

All of these are wonderful.
posted by JHarris at 4:12 PM on April 15 [3 favorites]

And while Rex Dart's great, they missed an opportunity by not doing Jet Jaguar from that episode.
posted by JHarris at 4:15 PM on April 15

These are fucking incredible.

Tab ... who's Tab? Wait, is he from San Francisco International Airport?
posted by penduluum at 4:19 PM on April 15

Just realized it lists episode numbers (and yes, he is).
posted by penduluum at 4:21 PM on April 15

* Krasker is really more an illustration of the guy's opinion of himself than the reality.

Which is kind of why that one is my favorite. "The Dead Talk Back" is so hilarious because they portray this reality where everyone is impressed and admiring of a geek like Krasker. It's on the same level as all the characters in "The Room" having the perception of Johnny as charismatic.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 4:32 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

Really nice.

I did feel a certain pang that neither Ator nor Dung were included, and no-one from Time of the Apes.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:53 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

No springs :(
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:56 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

posted by dirigibleman at 5:07 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I too did not know what MIGHTY JACK actually referred too. I thought maybe it was the torture tube.

However, I do know what the sampo is. I think.
posted by kiltedtaco at 5:17 PM on April 15

I can only assume that Mitchell is a hidden end-boss reachable only through special conditions.
posted by delfin at 5:19 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

Megaweapon's signature attack: "Our long national nightmare is over"
posted by hellojed at 5:29 PM on April 15

posted by fiercecupcake at 6:01 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

Ken's face says it all, if by "it all," you mean "HE TRIED TO KILL ME WITH A FORKLIFT!"
posted by anthom at 6:04 PM on April 15 [4 favorites]

I do know what the sampo is. I think.

posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:08 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

That is not a strapless evening gown.
posted by dr_dank at 6:44 PM on April 15

posted by vrakatar at 6:48 PM on April 15

Megaweapon is right there, did you check all the pages?
posted by JHarris at 6:50 PM on April 15

posted by vrakatar at 6:51 PM on April 15

Oh yeah.
posted by gamera at 7:19 PM on April 15

I remarked out loud to my cat Chadwick "This is probably the first and last chibi joe estivez" while drawing this. He was unresponsive.

Fantastic. Though man, if you're gonna do the Soooooooouuultaker, you gotta go Z'dar!
posted by jason_steakums at 7:19 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

I'm sorry. Wake me when there's Punch Rockgroin.
posted by stevis23 at 7:52 PM on April 15

War is the warwilfs?
posted by dhens at 8:02 PM on April 15 [2 favorites]

That's a fighting game I wouldn't mind having and I like it very much.
posted by ob1quixote at 8:09 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I can't believe there's no Mitchell. Or did I miss him?
posted by davejay at 8:31 PM on April 15

we watched some MST3000 last weekend, and it actually took me a few days after to notice that my boyfriend was signing all his e-mails to me with

Love, Eegah
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:40 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

I can only assume that Mitchell is a hidden end-boss reachable only through special conditions.

Actually, that's Prince of Space. Your weapons are useless against him!
posted by Rangeboy at 9:54 PM on April 15

BTW, there are a few extra characters depicted in the MST3K Beatdown box art, including Ator and The Master. Also, stevis23, the character known to some as a litany of names including Punch Rockgroin is actually named Ryder, and is included.

All this about the illustrations, yet not a lot about how the characters would play. Allow me to use my extensive game industry contacts to remedy that!

TORGO (Hotel, California):
Uses his hand staff as a weapon. Has low power, but is very slow. If you enter a secret button combination he'll transform into Torgo the White, who is the same but with extra Mysteriousness damage, and becomes strong vs. Frank.

(PHANTOM OF) KRANKOR ([Planet of] Krankor):
Press the Light Punch button: "HA... ha... ha!"
Press the Mid Punch button: "HA... HA... ha... ha!!"
Press the Strong Punch button: "MWA... HA... ha!!!"
Kick buttons are analogues for Punch buttons. While not laughing, he is defenseless. Also, while he is laughing. Admittedly a challenging character to play, but among this field he's mid-tier. Note: doesn't wear a cup, so his groinal region is a one-hit KO, if you can bear to focus long enough on it to hit.

TRUMPY (Outer Space):
Alternate Punch and Kick buttons in a consistent rhythm to make kooky music and Do Magic Things. Things in the background levitate and spin around. Animals retreat under furniture. People chuckle consolingly. Trumpy was hatched yesterday, cut him some slack.

MEGAWEAPON (Republic of Omega):
As a big truck with spikes and flame throwers, M.W. has certain advantages. Unfortunately the spikes are obviously cardboard, most of its other armaments are strictly for show, it can only roll forward slowly, and slide moves can easily get opponents underneath and then can attack upward for massive damage. Still, surprisingly powerful against talking motorcycles, so should increase in playability if the crossover sequel MST3K VS HEAT VISION & JACK gets made.

(MASTER NINJA) MCALLISTER (United States by way of Japan):
All fighting games must have a ninja character and this one's no exception. An old Lee Van Cleef in a face-concealing ninja suit, except when performing a ninja move, during which frames of animation he's suddenly fast and athletic, almost like, for a brief moment, he was being played by a ninja character from a different game. Unfortunately all his moves are telegraphed by two whole seconds, as he holds out whatever gimmick he's about to use and the soundtrack plays a few stereotypical Eastern notes. His protege is also playable, but his only move, Defenestration, is of little use.

(THE) CREEPING TERROR (The lamer reaches of Outer Space):
In a bit of brilliant game design, all its strengths are situational. I already described its innovative Cause Opponent To Feed Himself To You move. Well, at other times its opponent will happen to be making out in a car, or lining up in an orderly manner to leave the arena, and so be easy pickings. This makes the Terror surprisingly effective, provided those abilities work. If they don't, it's just a rug with people beneath it. Although, it is surprisingly weak against Automotive characters like Megaweapon.

ROSS (Florida Everglades):
Easily top-tier, whether his opponents are wildcats, rattlesnakes, or helpless animals. Also has the powers of convenient editing and fortuitous camera placement. Weak against PETA and common decency. Banned at Evo 2014.

DR. Z (Florida Everglades):
His moves do Science attribute damage. Has a unique and controversial randomization feature: when you perform his special ZAAT move, the game stops and spins the WHEEL OF ZAAT, and the result determines what happens, whether that be shuffle around aimlessly, express his love for some random fish or monologue about Sargassum: Weed of Deceit.

DR. KOLOS (Outer Space):
Also does Science damage, but his major ability is to make duplicates of other characters. Unlike mirror characters from other games like MK's Shang Tsung, or Soulcalibur's Edge Master and Inferno, the duplicates have no special moves are are pretty much just decoys. He's tall though, and that means there's more of him to hit! Alternate costumes makes him look like Eegah or Jaws from the James Bond movies; the cost for the rights for that latter reference are why the game goes for $70 at retail.

(OLD MAN) CRENSHAW (Texarkana, Arkansas):
The Voldo of the game, but not in the sense of speed, agility or raw power. Instead, is just incredibly disturbing to look at, which puts the opponent off guard. Has a secret weakness: every time Crenshaw takes a hit to the midsection he has a 1% cumulative chance of bursting like Mr. Creosote.

(THE) PUMAMAN (Italy):
Has a unique ability: press Jump twice to start "flying." Not real flight though: Pumaman just hovers in place while the background (but not the the character) wheels about behind. This tends to put Pumaman at a disadvantage against more mobile characters, like Scrotor.

ATOR (Spider Kingdom):
A general swordsman, but with a couple of hidden surprises. Your opponent certainly won't be expecting his special Hang Glider attack!

SOULTAKER (The Afterlife):
Is perilously weak against Z'Dar Damage, such as that handed out by The Tracker of Future War. His natural prey are teenage characters like Derek, and more generally anyone that looks like they should be victims of a slasher movie, even though Soultaker himself has no slashing attacks.

("MISTER") B. NATURAL (Neverland):
Has the formidable power to sew sexual confusion in opponents and spectators alike. Can emerge almost randomly from the sides of the screen, or from background elements like lockers and closets, then pfft!, vanish as quickly as he came. Is weak against atonal Musical attacks like Trumpy's Idiot Control Now.

EL SANTO (Mexico City):
Incredibly, astoundingly OP.
posted by JHarris at 9:59 PM on April 15 [9 favorites]

It makes me gnash my teeth that I can't find the full Secret Agent Super Dragon episode online.
posted by orrnyereg at 11:02 PM on April 15 [1 favorite]

But can I still use the Catch Phrase cards like "It's my way or the highway"?
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 12:18 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

It's a special option you can use, but they're random like items in Smash Bros. games, so tournament players disable them.
posted by JHarris at 12:31 AM on April 16

orrnyereg: "It makes me gnash my teeth that I can't find the full Secret Agent Super Dragon episode online"

Now I've got the Secret Agent Super Dragon jazz tune in my head. Thanks.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:38 AM on April 16 [3 favorites]

Now I've got the Secret Agent Super Dragon jazz tune in my head. Thanks.

I can fix that.

Bap Ba Dap Ba Da Daa...
posted by chambers at 7:01 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

Glen was fifty feet tall!
posted by Chrysostom at 7:33 AM on April 16

Sad to see no Jack Elam from Girl in Lover's Lane. Maybe that's getting too dark for this style.

Still, amazing work. I want T-shirts of all of these.
posted by Z. Aurelius Fraught at 7:46 AM on April 16 [1 favorite]

BTW, I think if you're just looking at the artwork from the catalog page, like I did at first, you're missing much of the joke, as the artist himself makes a lot of jokes, like I did above, about how each character would play, but with more detail.
posted by JHarris at 8:38 AM on April 16

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