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April 18, 2014 7:47 AM   Subscribe

BOYFRIEND TWIN - a tumblr documenting the curious pattern of gay men dating themselves.
posted by The Whelk (66 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
Extends to dorky heteros, too. Ask me how I know.
posted by Madamina at 7:54 AM on April 18 [45 favorites]


You're the cutest. No, YOU'RE the cutest!

We're both the cutest.
posted by the jam at 7:55 AM on April 18 [22 favorites]


Madamina that's just adorable.
posted by sweetkid at 7:56 AM on April 18


I think it's cool that people are embracing this because I feel like couples often get pissed off if you say they look alike.
posted by sweetkid at 7:58 AM on April 18


Back to the subject at hand: does Dr. Mr. The Whelk have a closet full of WWII-era tweeds as well?
posted by Madamina at 7:59 AM on April 18 [11 favorites]


On my very first ever gay date, I showed up wearing an almost identical shirt to my date. Black and white horizontal striped 3/4 sleeve tee. Mortifying, and something that had never even occurred to me might happen.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:01 AM on April 18 [4 favorites]


Dr. Mr. The Whelk grew up being forced to wear ties and blazers and now only wears them under extreme duress.

I had to pick up his entire work wardrobe when he got a more executive role
posted by The Whelk at 8:02 AM on April 18 [5 favorites]


My husband and I have the same first name. If we were to do this we may as well just start sewing our flesh together and become a monster in queer folklore that you tell little gay children to frighten them.
posted by munchingzombie at 8:03 AM on April 18 [67 favorites]


I've never had a long term relationship with a guy who really looks like me. Or even has the same particular style.

But, and I am pretty sure this is just coincidence, my longest relationships have been with guys with whom I do share a shoe size.

(Which is, duh, pretty awesome.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:13 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]


I was totally going to post this when it came across my Twitter feed yesterday, but it felt too thin. Glad to see that this was incorrect!
posted by Kitteh at 8:15 AM on April 18


True
posted by The Whelk at 8:21 AM on April 18


My daughter and her gf are exactly the same height and size. They studiously avoid mingling their clothes. Separate closets, drawers, everything.
posted by Danf at 8:22 AM on April 18


Ok...I have to admit I went to the link feeling a little...uneasy...because I immediately thought this was going to be actual twins dating each other.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:26 AM on April 18 [1 favorite]


So we're just going to go along chatting about this tumblr, and be all "ha ha, funny look-alike dating!" and no one is going to say "what the fuck is up with the zebra men?" Because, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE ZEBRA MEN?
posted by The Bellman at 8:29 AM on April 18 [35 favorites]


What the fuck is up is that we all thought that was just furniture until you pointed it out.
posted by alms at 8:32 AM on April 18 [93 favorites]


Holy shit, I didn't even see the zebra men at first. Seems like something that Craig Pelton might be into.
posted by rossination at 8:35 AM on April 18 [4 favorites]


I immediately thought this was going to be actual twins dating each other.

That would definitely be creepier, but this is still creepy.
posted by cribcage at 8:36 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


I can totally empathize with the tiger's "should I or shouldn't I?" face.
posted by mykescipark at 8:40 AM on April 18 [3 favorites]


The original boyfriend twins.
posted by alms at 8:42 AM on April 18 [8 favorites]


Doonesbury had Mark Slackmeyer (quite literally) dating himself1 for a time as he struggled romantically after coming out of the closet.

When Mark did find an actual boyfriend (and later husband), however, it was an utter subversion of this trope: Chase and Mark could hardly be more different, in ideology as well as appearance.

---
  1. The storyline continues for five subsequent strips, and the subject is reprised in strips published Feb. 11, 1996, Aug. 18, 1996, and (after he began dating Chase) Nov. 9, 1996, Nov. 10, 1996, and Dec. 15, 1996.

posted by The Confessor at 8:43 AM on April 18 [4 favorites]


In college, we (crudely) called such cases of going out with someone who looked like you as "doppelbanging."
posted by filthy light thief at 8:46 AM on April 18 [60 favorites]


(Actual) twins in gay porn is a thing. No, I'm not providing any links.
posted by desjardins at 8:48 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]



"What The Fuck Is Up With The Zebra Men?"

Rated R: no one under 17 admitted without parent or guardian.

Starts Friday at a theatre near you.
 
posted by Herodios at 8:49 AM on April 18 [3 favorites]


okay, one non-porn link to a Salon article (the only pic of is shirtless guys, the text is nsfw)
posted by desjardins at 8:55 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


My favorite is the one of Lemon Grab from Adventure Time.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:04 AM on April 18 [4 favorites]


This to me seems much less creepy than the not-infrequent cases of straight men dating women who are younger identical twins of their mothers.* I was over at a friends house once (whose parents were older than the norm, and whom I had met several times) and admired a stylized black and white portrait of her mother in the foyer. "Oh, that's not my mom," she told me. "That's my DAD's mom."

[*Yes I know how imprinting works and this is the most natural thing in the world but..... Also, I wonder if there are gender variations: I've got a perfectly great (and objectively physically attractive!) dad, but have never been sexually attracted to anyone with his coloring and features, etc.--it feels too familial.]
posted by blue suede stockings at 9:07 AM on April 18


Chase and Mark could hardly be more different, in ideology as well as appearance.

So Pat's a bore. Oh well, everyone needs a project.
posted by griphus at 9:16 AM on April 18 [3 favorites]


My husband and I have the same first name. If we were to do this we may as well just start sewing our flesh together and become a monster in queer folklore that you tell little gay children to frighten them.
posted by munchingzombie at 11:03 AM on April 18


Off-topic: My (heterosexual) aunt and her first husband had the same last name before they married. And grew up in the same town. No, they weren't related--we checked (trust me on this). Every time my aunt went to the hospital to give birth to one of my cousins, confusion abounded.

To make matters worse, they were born and raised in Kentucky. So lots of jokes about hillbilly incest, too.
posted by magstheaxe at 9:25 AM on April 18


I had a friend who had adorably identical midwestern parents, they both wore overalls and were the palest people you'll ever meet.

It was sort of unnerving.
posted by BungaDunga at 9:26 AM on April 18


we may as well just start sewing our flesh together and become a monster in queer folklore that you tell little gay children to frighten them

I'm not seeing a downside to this.
posted by Panjandrum at 9:33 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


I want more! I want the lesbian version, and the hetero version, and the various transgender versions, and the version where it's people who look like their DOGS!
posted by zscore at 9:37 AM on April 18 [9 favorites]


blue suede stockings: "This to me seems much less creepy than the not-infrequent cases of straight men dating women who are younger identical twins of their mothers."

I was just going to comment, "Now we need a tumblr of women who married men who look exactly like their own father."

I don't think my husband looks like my dad AT ALL but it's seriously the first thing people say to me if they know one and then meet the other.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:51 AM on April 18


I do sometimes have trouble remembering who is who with a few same sex couples that I know. In the middle of a conversation at a party, I'll be thinking "crap, am I talking to Doug or Dennis?"
posted by octothorpe at 9:52 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


If I married a man who looked like my father, I'd have to marry someone who looks just like me! (because I was once my mother's doppleganger but as I age, I am slipping closer and closer to looking like my dad.)

My husband is a redhead and so is dear old dad, so I'll admit there might be something there.
posted by vespabelle at 10:01 AM on April 18


I think I remembered this in a comment previously but there was a short story (Asimov?) about a (perfect almost identical, 50's so m/f) couple that in the far future had a direct upload connection but directly to each other. The twist (sorry spoiler) that in the far far far future a researcher came upon them but was not sure what they were, perhaps test equipment, as they had been disconnected from each other and instead each connection was looped back to itself.

All these are candidates.
posted by sammyo at 10:12 AM on April 18


Now off to askme to find out why that story/concept stuck with me...
posted by sammyo at 10:14 AM on April 18


Also speaking of Asimov, this little ditty comes to mind:

Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when I'm alone
With my own little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex.

posted by murphy slaw at 10:30 AM on April 18 [3 favorites]


oh man is this the whelkiest whelk post from whelkland or what?
posted by lalochezia at 10:59 AM on April 18 [5 favorites]


My boyfriend and I are of similar heights, but he's bigger than me in the waist and he's bearded and Greek and gruff-looking while I'm skinny and pale and very Irish-looking. It would be great to be able to share clothes, but I'm not sure I'd want my doppelganger being my significant other. I don't want someone who looks better in my things hanging around me that much.
posted by xingcat at 11:13 AM on April 18


blue suede stockings:

Interestingly, I've always felt the same way - no attraction whatsoever to women who look like my mother. I'm married to somebody whose coloration, hair, body type, height, etc are all dramatically different.

However, now that I'm looking for a secondary, I find myself gravitating toward women who do, indeed, look very much like my mother did when she was young. It's a little disturbing, but I just can't seem to help it.

I'm not quite sure why I seem to have developed two distinct "types", but I definitely have them now.
posted by PharmacistofLucifer at 11:15 AM on April 18


Extends to dorky heteros, too

Not just the dorky ones. Extends to ALL humans, pretty much. See: own-race bias.

(Way) back in college, we used to call it home-race bias, but apparently no one else does.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:19 AM on April 18


Yeah, that photo was taken two months after we started dating. Now that we're married and I'm pregnant with his kid, we share black track jackets and our jeans are the same color :P
posted by Madamina at 11:31 AM on April 18 [2 favorites]


There's a straight couple whose pictures I see once in a while in Facebook, and I always think to myself these people look related. It's kind of disturbing and when I get the chance I'm gonna ask some mutual friends if they agree.
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:38 AM on April 18


I thought this was just going to be guys with similar styles/haircuts, but no, some of these are flat-out uncanny!!
posted by MoxieProxy at 11:57 AM on April 18


what the fuck is up with the zebra men?"

No flies on them!
posted by MartinWisse at 11:58 AM on April 18


If you scroll all the way down, is the first post Akbar and Jeff?
posted by larrybob at 1:30 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]


hey whelk if you had a boyfriend twin would that make you a bivalve
posted by lalochezia at 1:54 PM on April 18 [3 favorites]


and if you were interested in having a girlfriend twin, would that make you bivalvecurious
posted by lalochezia at 1:55 PM on April 18 [5 favorites]


ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON LALO
posted by The Whelk at 2:08 PM on April 18 [5 favorites]


So this phenomenon gets worse as gay men age, particularly if they're of the big-city-professional type cause the combined effects of middle age and HGH-use effectively limit the number of haircuts to three (High and tight, bald, and buzzed) and the number of acceptable builds to three (Muscular, muscular without abs, Athletic) and since every tends to go in for the same clothes, trends, tattoos. shaving lotions, and elective cosmetic surgery any sufficiency large gathering of these men looks like someone's duplicator went amok.

(But why would they date anyone else? They spent a lot of time and effort to look that way, you don't dump an investment like that.)
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on April 18 [2 favorites]


Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when I'm alone
With my own little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex.


Hot DAMN that was a disturbing poem. I mean I'm as curious as the next fella to see Identical twins get it on, but SEX CHROMOSOMES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. It's not a clone anymore just a sister Isaac, and your last name isn't Lannister, no, just no.
/DERAIL

I'm rather enjoying this thread. Thank you The Welk.
posted by The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg at 2:23 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]


I've never looked like any of my exes, the guys tend to be very big and blond and the girls tend to be very petite and dark, and I'm "average" size and slightly-off-white. This one girl (J) and I had a very intense "thing" for a couple years that was sometimes a relationship and sometimes a HUGE BREAKUP and sometimes just us being friends and of course because life is like that, it's still going on in some ways and is still confusing. Thinking about it now, her type in men is also similar to mine, but our type in women is completely opposite.

Anyway, she and I tried *so so so* hard to share clothes and makeup and do each others' hair and things but it was always very difficult, because we're completely different sizes and complexions and her hair can't hold a braid for the life of it whereas mine seems to grow horizontally from my scalp and frizzes like a champ. Her hair is so tough for me to work with, there was one point where we were trying to perm it, and her hair wouldn't hold the perming product at all, and we tried to use a bunch of tampons as pseudo-curlers and paper clips as replacement bobby pins and after hours and hours and giving her a terrible headache, she *still* had straight hair. So, that is to say, there was never any hope of us looking anything alike at all, we couldn't even do our hair the same way or share lipstick or borrow a shirt from one another without looking ridiculous.

But we STILL WOULDN'T GIVE UP. The last gasp of our effort was -- have you guys ever seen that movie Stuck on You? It's about a pair of conjoined twins who look nothing alike but are bff and love each other to pieces, and who don't want to be separated. Inspired by the twins in the movie, J and I decided that our Halloween costume one year was going to be just us in regular street clothes with a long strip of Velcro connecting our bodies down their length. And we'd walk around all evening connected by the Velcro, except when one of us had to go grab drinks or something, at which time we'd have to RIIIIIIIIIP apart, and then re-Velcro once the other had returned. We're also both only children, so we enjoyed the idea of playing twins probably a bit too much for people also interested in sleeping together.

I still wish we'd been able to carry out that costume, but we were going to one of those big Halloween parades/free-for-alls (the one in Fells Point, in Baltimore) and it would have just been too hard to walk in step all night, seeing as we're such different heights, so we and ended up dressing in Folk Outfits that her aunt had picked up on her travels to a couple different countries. Much less fun than the twin idea, except that we also ran into a couple guys who were wearing Olympic gear from the same countries, and who ended up taking a bunch of pictures of us all posing together and kissing each others and things. So I guess it turned out regardless.

Anyway, I wonder if looking just like your boyfriend makes his parents more inclined to like you? I guess it depends on how much his parents like *him*?
posted by rue72 at 2:53 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]


The one infamous time I forgot to pack pants when driving 11 hours home to see the now-mister, I was REALLY glad we wore all the same sizes in clothes. If I stopped dyeing my hair we'd look even more creepily alike!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:06 PM on April 18


Now I'm wondering if the reason no one ever seems to think that my husband and I are married is because we look absolutely nothing alike.
posted by Diagonalize at 4:02 PM on April 18


My girlfriends have typically run towards the also-curvy, and I ended up in the weird position at one point of not being sure if a particular picture was one I had taken of my ex or one my ex had taken of me, when we broke up, because round-faced girl with glasses was harder to tell apart when we were both sporting ponytails at the time. Since it was not the clearest picture anyway, I ended up just deleting it to be on the safe side.

I think that a lot of these just have to do with basically dating the people who hang out in the same circles you do, where the same hairstyles and clothes are likely to be "in" at any given time. I mean, at the time, I can say with certainty that at least 80% of my female friends were also girls with glasses and ponytails.
posted by Sequence at 4:02 PM on April 18


Somehow, my (heterosexual) husband and I can wear the same athletic shorts, which is convenient, but we get there in entirely different ways. We're not twin-like whatsoever.
posted by limeonaire at 4:07 PM on April 18


My son's last girlfriend was the bookish (a librarian) daughter of British immigrants (as I am) who grew up in the same suburb as I did, only two blocks from my childhood home. She even attended the same elementary and high school, and the house where her parents still live was one I walked past a hundred times on my way home after school.

I'm not drawing any conclusions from this of course.
posted by jokeefe at 5:30 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]


I should note that they met very far removed from that particular suburb, where I haven't lived since I was 19.
posted by jokeefe at 5:33 PM on April 18


The Bellman: "So we're just going to go along chatting about this tumblr, and be all "ha ha, funny look-alike dating!" and no one is going to say "what the fuck is up with the zebra men?" Because, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE ZEBRA MEN?"

Look, the zebra-men are self-explanatory. They're zebra-men, what else do you need? What I want to know is why the baseball players are going "Rawr!" Maybe they're the worst lion-men costume ever.
posted by Reverend John at 8:00 PM on April 18 [6 favorites]


I did not notice the zebra men until the Bellman pointed them out. It's like one of those eye puzzle games.
posted by sweetkid at 8:14 PM on April 18 [5 favorites]


a tumblr documenting the curious pattern of gay men dating themselves incredibly happy-looking people, together.
posted by alex_skazat at 11:26 PM on April 18 [5 favorites]


I have this one friend on Facebook who I barely know but met at a conference or something. Anyway, he once posted a picture of him and his sister wearing the same sweater. And then I was like "huh, I wonder if those kids in the pic also wearing the same sweater are his or his sisters' ... Oh, wait."

Yes. My colleague not only looks like his wife's brother (maybe even twin) but they posed for photos wearing the same clothes to highlight that fact!
posted by lunasol at 5:13 AM on April 19


I wonder if there's already a word for twinway sex ??
posted by Twang at 12:29 PM on April 19


Ugh, as an actual twin, I find people dressing in the same clothes and having the same hair utterly horrifying. Some of these make me shudder. And my parents were actually pretty cool about it, they mostly dressed me and my sister in either the same thing but different colors, or varied the outfits so we weren't wearing the same thing at the same time.

I suppose if you didn't grow up being forced to share one birthday present, or getting the same present even if you didn't like the thing your twin did, and having everyone call you "the twins" like you didn't have your own name or identity, it's cute, but blech, not to me.
posted by emcat8 at 7:11 PM on April 21


When we lived in NYC, Mr Corpse (male) and I (female) always dropped our laundry off at the Wu-Chens. The first time that week's laundry had some maternity clothes, the Wu-Chens were a) nosy, b) happy for us, and c) confused, because all that time they'd thought we were brother and sister.

Mr Corpse is a manly man and I wasn't particularly flattered.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:15 AM on April 22 [1 favorite]


You could also make a Tumblr of photos of gay men who look different from their partners (differentiated in height, weight, skin color, hair length or style, musculature, etc.) Are people who date people who look similar more or less pathological than those who date people who look different?
posted by larrybob at 3:59 PM on April 23


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