Alton Brown presents his recipe for cat poo dog treats

May 1, 2014 9:12 AM

Alton Brown presents his recipe for cat poo dog treats.
posted by Evilspork (48 comments total)

Oh god, the eyes on that dog. 3:52

YAS. YASS BRING ME THE KITTY POO FLAVER COOKYS YAAAAS.
posted by phunniemee at 9:16 AM on May 1, 2014 [10 favorites]

Cat poo dog treats minus the potential Toxoplasma gondii.
posted by ChuckRamone at 9:17 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hilarious and practical! I love Alton Brown when he's smart and straightforward and nerdy. Then he does stupid gimmick shows like Cutthroat Kitchen and I want to throw things at the TV. I wish Food Network did more learn-about-food content and less silliness.
posted by Nelson at 9:21 AM on May 1, 2014 [9 favorites]

Wow. I could see myself doing this for my sister's dog. I don't know if Sissy would approve, but Mischa would be all over it!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:31 AM on May 1, 2014

Dog treats, previously.

I am totally making these.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:38 AM on May 1, 2014

How your dog sees the cat box.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:40 AM on May 1, 2014 [14 favorites]

When I was growing up we had a dog and a cat. The dog was named Rebel and the cat was named Midnight. The dog would occasionally have...wait for it...Midnight snacks.
posted by dave*p at 9:41 AM on May 1, 2014 [12 favorites]

I wish Food Network did more learn-about-food content and less silliness.

All that stuff has migrated to the Cooking Channel, which is all kinds of awesome.
posted by jbickers at 9:44 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

All that stuff has migrated to the Cooking Channel, which is all kinds of awesome.

We've seen that before - all of the real documentaries went from Discovery to TLC, and then TLC became what it is, and all of the real documentaries went to the History Channel and A&E, and now where are we?

Cooking Channel is one breakthrough reality TV hit away from being all Alien Duck Star Boo Boo all the time.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:53 AM on May 1, 2014 [10 favorites]

To me that looks like it would be a nutritionally sound snack for people, too.
(Given some of the things I have eaten in the past in the name of 'dieting,' I don't think the flavor will be too much of an issue.)
posted by needled at 9:53 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Then there's this if you're tempted by these treats yourself.
posted by briank at 9:55 AM on May 1, 2014

Yes train your dog to eat cat feces. I bet it's not made from real cat feces though. It's likely he used an analogue, like Alton Brown's production values.
posted by Napierzaza at 10:08 AM on May 1, 2014

I like how even Alton Brown has a "talking to pets" voice.
posted by Phredward at 10:09 AM on May 1, 2014

I AM DISAPPOINT - NOT REAL CAT POO!!!

ಠ_ಠ
posted by symbioid at 10:16 AM on May 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

Yes train your dog to eat cat feces

Yeah, I was a little worried about this, too...

Though I'm a little unclear on why we were to think that these really simulated anything in cat crap... I mean, the fish stuff does sound disgusting (to my fairly straightforward, unsophisticated mental palate) alright...but not, y'know, anywhere near as gross as cat shit. And, anyway, disgustingness is a pretty vague similarity...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 10:17 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yes train your dog to eat cat feces.

Dogs will happily eat cat poop if they can reach it -- no training required. In fact, good luck trying to train dogs not to eat cat poop. We had to get a CleverCat litterbox to prevent it.

Cats are not as efficient at digesting things as some animals are, and dogs are happy to finish the job.
posted by Foosnark at 10:20 AM on May 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

Slap*Happy: "All that stuff has migrated to the Cooking Channel, which is all kinds of awesome.

We've seen that before - all of the real documentaries went from Discovery to TLC, and then TLC became what it is, and all of the real documentaries went to the History Channel and A&E, and now where are we?

Cooking Channel is one breakthrough reality TV hit away from being all Alien Duck Star Boo Boo all the time."

Yeah, Network Decay.
posted by symbioid at 10:21 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

All that stuff has migrated to the Cooking Channel, which is all kinds of awesome.

Of course my cable provider doesn't have that, or maybe they do as a premium package.

Food network sucks. Do they show any actual cooking at all now? I scroll by it in the guide but can't remember the last time I stopped on that channel.

InB4 "cut the cord"
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 10:42 AM on May 1, 2014

That dog's eyes totally go crossed when he pulls out the fish sauce.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:49 AM on May 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

One of my dogs occasionally grazes on 'cat snacks' (gross, but whatever.) The other meticulously plucks out poop nuggets from the litterbox, brings them across the house into the living room, and rolls around in them. Lucky for her, she has a face that is impossible to stay mad at.

I really want to crawl in between Alton and the dog for some snuggles. They both look really good at cuddling.
posted by Fig at 10:59 AM on May 1, 2014

Obligatory
posted by rahnefan at 11:06 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, seeing a dog walk out of the catbox area all nonchalant with litter bits stuck on its nose never fails to crack me up.
posted by Fig at 11:07 AM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

The other meticulously plucks out poop nuggets from the litterbox, brings them across the house into the living room, and rolls around in them.

And now I know to count my blessings.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:17 AM on May 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

We have a complex system of gates to deal with the issue. Well, OK, one gate. The logic being that the cats can jump over the gate to go poop, but the dogs cannot get past the gate to eat the cat poop. This worked reasonably well until we get our last cat, who is such a fucking imbecile that he does not realize he can jump over the gate, so he will just go upstairs and shit all over the mattress in the spare guest bedroom, because, you know. So, now we have to try to position the gate such that it's high enough off the ground that the cat can get under it, but not high enough off the ground that the dogs can get under it, and, really, it all just makes me so terribly, terribly tired.
posted by kbanas at 12:11 PM on May 1, 2014 [11 favorites]

I'm a little bit disappointed he went for the cookie cutter instead of something more similar to Tootsie Rolls.

What the hell is wrong with me.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:46 PM on May 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

kbanas, depending on how similar in size your dog is to your cat, you could cut a cat-sized portal in the gate mesh. Those gates are damned fiddly.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:48 PM on May 1, 2014

kbanas, I'm about to drop $45 on this gate with human door and cat door to solve a similar problem. Re-installing the spring loaded gate I currently use every time I walk in and out of that room is becoming way too much of a headache, and then I forget or my arms are full and the dog sneaks in and the cat is out a meal. (Although thankfully my dog eats my cat's food, not her poop. The cat is too old to jump over a gate so I've been doing the space underneath thing too.)
posted by misskaz at 12:56 PM on May 1, 2014

kbanas, we put the cat box in a closet and put a cat door in the closet door. Fortunately, all our dogs are bigger than the cat and can't fit through the door.
posted by tippiedog at 12:57 PM on May 1, 2014

What kind of dog is that? Those are some stunning eyes.
posted by Harpocrates at 1:01 PM on May 1, 2014

I'm about to drop $45 on this gate with human door and cat door to solve a similar problem.

Pfft. Look at the dog in that picture. He's sizing-up the jump over that gate, just as soon as the human with the camera is gone.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:21 PM on May 1, 2014

What kind of dog is that? Those are some stunning eyes.

Looks like at least part Australian Shepherd to me. Crazy Eyes for a Crazy Breed.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:33 PM on May 1, 2014

I used to really like Alton Brown, because when you dig through the unnecessary gimmicks he throws into his shows (and his recipes), he actually teaches you stuff. I'm Meh on him now, because his schtick is just too schticky. (It even came through in this video. He's got a style, and a brand, and I get that, but still.) All that said, I am totally in love with Alton Brown's dog.

And, being a cat person, I would love to pile on dogs' affinity for cat crap in this thread. ButI also feel like I should balance things out and sheepishly admit that one of my cats enthusiastically plays turd hockey all over our laminate floors whenever one escapes the litterbox.

So, cat turds: Not just for dogs' enjoyment.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:51 PM on May 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

I have two big dogs and a cat. I haven't cleaned crap out of the litterbox in years...
posted by mrbigmuscles at 2:37 PM on May 1, 2014

but then how will I make litter critters?
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:41 PM on May 1, 2014

Pfft. Look at the dog in that picture. He's sizing-up the jump over that gate, just as soon as the human with the camera is gone.

Hah, well there's an extra-tall version too. In my case my tall but not very jumpy greyhound wouldn't even try it.
posted by misskaz at 2:53 PM on May 1, 2014

~All that stuff has migrated to the Cooking Channel, which is all kinds of awesome.
~Of course my cable provider doesn't have that, or maybe they do as a premium package.

If you're with Comcast, that's exactly where you'll find Cooking Channel. On a higher, pricier tier.
Luckily for me, my local PBS station runs PBS's "Create" programming on their .2 digital channel, and that's chockablock with all manner of cooking shows. So, FU Comcast and Cooking Channel.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:56 PM on May 1, 2014

When my cat went blind he could no longer jump over the gate that kept my dachshund out of the crunchy tasty box. So it came upstairs.

One day, ensconced in my own.... litter box, and unable to move, the cat climbed into his.

Up trots the dog and shoved her face under his butt for soft serve, no crunchies.

Dogs are cute but SUPER gross.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:06 PM on May 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

The wife and I are definitely going to try this recipe. We have tried all kinds of expensive dog treats.... and still with the cat box. Might as well save some money and give them what they really want.

BTW our simple solution with big dogs (45 and 80 lbs) that has worked surprisingly well is a cat box hood, opening facing the inside corner, problem solved. Child gates don't really work when they sit on the other side and whine for your presence. I love them sooo much...
posted by Benway at 5:11 PM on May 1, 2014

He's sizing-up the jump over that gate, just as soon as the human with the camera is gone.

That dog looks like he's about to try the little door for the hundredth time. Dogs are lousy at non-linear pathfinding.
posted by Sunburnt at 7:51 PM on May 1, 2014

I used to really like Alton Brown, because when you dig through the unnecessary gimmicks

AB came from a filmmaking background, not a cooking background. He did go to cooking school, but only after his film career was cooling. His interest in cooking and educating is apparent, but his gimmicks are why he got a show; I'd say they were tremendously necessary.
posted by Sunburnt at 7:53 PM on May 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Dogs are cute but SUPER gross.

In the US, dogs eat cat poop. In places where people lack toilets, pariah dogs scavenge human feces (and . Watching dogs fight over a used diaper is a moment that will live in my memory.

I love dogs, but they really are transcendentally gross. The more rotten something is, the better to first roll in it, then eat it, vomit it up, and then eat it again. Repeat as many times as desired.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:37 PM on May 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

Proof that cats rule the universe.
posted by waving at 4:26 AM on May 2, 2014

My husband is a vet and he regularly removes diapers from dogs intestines.
posted by waving at 4:29 AM on May 2, 2014

The Turkana people have a rather close relationship with dogs.
posted by Solomon at 4:40 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

That article is both horrifying and fascinating
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 9:55 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

My understanding is that dogs engage in smell-management; they eat poop to remove the source of stink, either to displace attention away from their pooping puppies, or to prevent an interloper from scenting up the place like they own it.
posted by Sunburnt at 10:21 AM on May 2, 2014

they eat poop to remove the source of stink, either to displace attention away from their pooping puppies, or to prevent an interloper from scenting up the place like they own it.

That might be true for their own poop, but I think they are eating cat and human poop because of all the yummy stuff in it -- cats in particular eat high protein diets and move it through quickly, so their leavings are good eats for a dog. How that relates to rolling in fresh horse poop is a different story.
posted by Dip Flash at 11:41 AM on May 2, 2014

I think the blue eyes make his dog look like a muppet. An adorable muppet.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 1:53 PM on May 5, 2014