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With tingle tentacles. CE Listed. Made in China.
May 5, 2014 8:27 PM   Subscribe

Decontextualized product labels: "DirectionsforMe provides the information that’s on consumer packages or labels in a simple online format for anyone who has trouble reading the small print including people who are blind or visually impaired."

"Repeat 3 or 4 times until arms, legs & all are rubbed, always towards the heart."
"Is or Contains Flavor"
"Do not use to sedate a child or to make a child sleepy"
"I light up! Because cats are nocturnal!"
posted by jessamyn (8 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
"I light up! Because cats are nocturnal!"

I HEAR YA BROTHER
posted by not_on_display at 8:29 PM on May 5


Saw only the pre-jump excerpt, scampered off to test Dr. Bronner, returned in triumph with URL, mourned favorites never to be born.
posted by mph at 8:42 PM on May 5 [2 favorites]


"Repeat 3 or 4 times until arms, legs & all are rubbed, always towards the heart."

I dunno, I still prefer Elvis Costello's earlier stuff.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:25 PM on May 5 [5 favorites]


I light up! Because cats are nocturnal!

I like the warning section on that one where they correctly imply that cats are smarter than dogs and children.

(which in a way reminds me of that after-shave bottle I have that says "Warning (USA only): For external use. Avoid direct contact with eyes." I haven't quite figured out if the "USA only" bit says something about Americans, or if it means that it's ok for me to drink it and put it in my eyes since I'm not in the US at the moment.)
posted by effbot at 9:27 PM on May 5


MetaFilter: When using this product do not use more than directed; drowsiness may occur
posted by NMcCoy at 10:14 PM on May 5


Cats are natural hunters. Even when living amongst humans, a cat's motivation to hunt day and night remains strong.

See these eyes so green...
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:07 AM on May 6


If you scan the packaging for this does a hole in the space-time continuum open up?
posted by cyclotronboy at 8:37 AM on May 6


Weight: 1 penis
posted by slogger at 11:47 AM on May 6 [2 favorites]


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