WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ORCI AND KURTZMAN AND MAGIC BLOOD? ... YUP! GROSS.
...WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT THE SECRET MESSAGE OF THESE MOVIES IS THAT THE CHARACTER'S HORRIBLE HUMAN INSTINCTS ARE SECRETLY RIGHT?
...SHOULD HULK FEEL BAD FOR SINGLING OUT ORCI HERE? NOPE. NOT ANY MORE. KURTZMAN MAY BE THE NICEST GUY IN THE UNIVERSE BUT THE TEAM HAS PROVEN THROUGHOUT EVERY MOVIE THEY HAVE DONE THAT THEY ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY INCAPABLE OF GETTING AT A HUMAN ETHOS THAT ISN'T SOMETHING HULK FINDS MORALLY DISGUSTING, OR EVEN COMPETENTLY COHERENT...
...WHY DOES HARRY GET AN EQUALLY UGLY DESTINY-FILLED STORYLINE WITH EVERYTHING SET IN STONE FOR HIM? WHY IS HIS ONLY "CHOICE" TO GO DOWN THE OBVIOUS PATH OR ABSTAIN? SINCE WHEN THE HELL DID WE ACCEPT THIS KIND OF THING AS A CHOICE? WHY IS THIS THE WAY WE APPROACH STORYTELLING NOWADAYS ACROSS THE BOARD?
...WHY DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT THIS ACTUALLY RUNS COUNTER TO THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE MARVEL SPIDER-MAN ETHOS IN THAT IT'S ABOUT REGULAR FOLK, THE NATURE OF INCIDENT, AND THE RESPONSIBILITY OF DUTY AND CHOICE? AND NOT MERELY CHOOSING BETWEEN FULFILLING A DESTINY OR NOT FULFILLING IT?
So, it was about what we should have expected after the vomit that was Spiderman 3?
"AND LIKE THE CHIEF PROBLEM OF TASM1, WHY ARE THEY HELL-BENT ON MAKING PETER THE KEWL BADASS WHO WILL SWOOP FOR GRADUATION AND KISS A GIRL ON STAGE LIKE HE'S THE FUCKING FONZ?
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU MAKE PETER A KEWL BADASS WHO IS GOOD AT EVERYTHING IT ACTUALLY UNDERMINES THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE CHARACTER? WHICH IS THE IDEA THAT HAVING SUPERPOWERS WHEN YOU'RE A REGULAR KID DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE LIFE EASIER AND IN FACT MAKES IT WAY, WAY, WAY HARDER? ESPECIALLY TO DO THE RIGHT THING? NOR DOES IT MAGICALLY FIX ASPECTS OF YOUR SOCIAL PERSONALITY?"
[W]hen Marvel put the feature film rights up for sale in 1985, there were few takers. Hollywood was bored with superheroes...Menahem Golan, a Palestine-born producer whose independent company, Cannon Films, distributed foreign-language features for prestige and Jean-Claude Van Damme shoot-'em-ups for profit, acquired the Spider-Man rights for a mere $225,000. The first screenplay he commissioned, by Leslie Stevens, creator of the TV series "The Outer Limits," was by far the most eccentric, featuring Peter Parker turning into a giant eight-legged tarantula. Apparently Golan and his Israeli partner, Yoram Globus, had misconstrued the basic concept. "Golan and Globus didn't really know what Spider-Man was," says Joseph Zito, the first director Cannon assigned to the project. "They thought it was like the Wolfman."
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