CHA

May 20, 2014 5:09 PM

So you want to write your name on the moon.
posted by Greg Nog (50 comments total)

Cha
posted by drezdn at 5:12 PM on May 20, 2014

I didn't see your title until I posted :C
posted by drezdn at 5:14 PM on May 20, 2014

Cromulent XKCD What If.
posted by graymouser at 5:16 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

What if we didn't, through some tragic set of circumstances, have a horrible chair expression frozen on our faces?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:16 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Cha cha cha...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:18 PM on May 20, 2014

i wanted this to be an entire thread full of CHA
posted by elizardbits at 5:18 PM on May 20, 2014 [7 favorites]

YOU GUYS SOCK
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:19 PM on May 20, 2014 [11 favorites]

I miss the TICK
posted by Renoroc at 5:27 PM on May 20, 2014 [9 favorites]

If you want to write you name on the moon you are going to have to come down here, Khan! You going to have to come down here!

KHAN! KHAN! KHAN!
posted by cjorgensen at 5:31 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

CHA
posted by shakespeherian at 5:38 PM on May 20, 2014

First
posted by shakespeherian at 5:38 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

::Takes bite out of moon::
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:44 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Now let's discuss the biology of a man with a chair for a head.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:44 PM on May 20, 2014 [10 favorites]

CHA
posted by griphus at 5:47 PM on May 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

The diagram says 1 arc-second is the smallest resolvable angle with the human eye, and the text says it's 1 arc-minute. From what I can tell from cursory Googling, 1 arc-minute is correct.
posted by UrineSoakedRube at 5:47 PM on May 20, 2014

If only I could write on the moon in special ink made from my own character flaws, dad would be able to spot it not only from Earth, but from beyond the grave.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:48 PM on May 20, 2014 [8 favorites]

drastic steps are what you take
writing on the moon
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:49 PM on May 20, 2014 [11 favorites]

The linked article references this wonderful primary source, A Study of Lunar Research Flights, Volume I. From the report:

The political motivations for and against the detonation of a nuclear weapon are equally clear ... However, specific positive effects would accrue to the nation first performing such a feat as a demonstration of advanced technological capability.

Positive effects: It will look awesome when synced up with Berlin Philharmonic performance of "Rock You Like a Hurricane".

The song starts strong but you really gotta give it until the guitars come in; then it really rips. The specific negative effects of the proposed detonation are that there is no atmosphere for a sick shock wave to blow the wooden siding off tiny little clapboard Soviet moon landers, and also the verses are pretty lame compared to the amazing chorus.
posted by compartment at 5:54 PM on May 20, 2014

ΓΗΑ
posted by eriko at 5:58 PM on May 20, 2014

Though ΧΑ has its own attraction.
posted by eriko at 6:00 PM on May 20, 2014

::Takes bite out of moon::

)HA
posted by kewb at 6:02 PM on May 20, 2014 [4 favorites]

So you want to write your name on the moon.

The Moon: NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:23 PM on May 20, 2014 [6 favorites]

OTTOMAN EMPRESS wait fuck
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:37 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

When I saw the title, I didn't even care what the article said - I was already happy.

But I read it anyway, and I feel like asphalt is the wrong answer - the moon's albedo is already pretty low, so a high albedo substance would make a higher contrast easier to read message.
posted by aubilenon at 6:58 PM on May 20, 2014

Writing CHA when it's already the title of the post indicates a lack of INT or WIS.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:06 PM on May 20, 2014 [12 favorites]

There was a time in my life when I was seriously considering trying to snap up the (still-unused!) domain youcannotignorethemoon.com, but I couldn't come up with anything to use it for that was worthy of the name.
posted by kagredon at 7:09 PM on May 20, 2014

Scene from my house:

Him: what you reading?
Me: a thing from metafilter about how to go about writing your name on the moon.
Him: just like on...
Me: yeah we covered that.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:25 PM on May 20, 2014 [21 favorites]

I've ignored the moon for 99% of my life, kagredon
posted by aubilenon at 7:59 PM on May 20, 2014

For those as confused as me by this thread, here's the reference: video, image.

Okay, better-informed people, carry on.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:03 PM on May 20, 2014 [3 favorites]

I got bored of this post until I read "Giant Laser". You have my attention.
posted by runcibleshaw at 9:02 PM on May 20, 2014

If we could just figure out the trick to getting the monoliths to reproduce, we'd have all the low-albedo material we'd ever need.

Hmm. What song would C.S. Lewis, Jr sing about writing our names in the moon?
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:07 PM on May 20, 2014

Here's the full episode being referenced
posted by calebegg at 9:21 PM on May 20, 2014

I have thought about this problem for way too long. Though I'd like to do it with a giant fucking space laser (don't want to ignite the atmosphere y'know), the math doesn't really work out. I too thought that dumping a material with a different albedo than the lunar regolith would be the best way to go. My idea still involved a laser though. You use the laser in a similar way to a laser printer, changing the charge of the surface regolith and then dumping some sort of positively charged dust onto the surface. I think one problem is how you keep the rest of the dust that's not attracted from just falling onto the surface.
Also, you don't write a word on the moon. You draw your own face. If your drawing technique is permanent then you get the knowledge that your face will look down on humanity forever. Long after our own civilization is a forgotten memory, your face will still be there.
posted by runcibleshaw at 9:22 PM on May 20, 2014

Fuck the king and the Moon.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:24 PM on May 20, 2014

This kind of thing has been done before.

You don't need bombs or lasers. Just hook one of these behind the moon buggy and drive around for a few weeks.
posted by eye of newt at 9:33 PM on May 20, 2014

MON
posted by Mike Mongo at 9:52 PM on May 20, 2014

Yeah, giant lasers and a million nuclear bombs are cool (well, hot) and all, but the first thing I thought of was a big solar powered bulldozer, grader or back hoe robot.

Fuck it, let's launch a kickstarter and build the world's largest hipster etch-a-sketch and/or billboard. How much do you think Coca-Cola would pay for the biggest advertising stunt ever? Red Bull? Richard Branson?

Further, how much would the internet pay to draw a giant ASCII wang on the fuckin' moon?
posted by loquacious at 9:57 PM on May 20, 2014

I get so excited every time Ploughshares comes up. It is a favorite part of odd nuclear history.
posted by NoraReed at 10:10 PM on May 20, 2014

CHA
posted by jcruelty at 11:30 PM on May 20, 2014

Further, how much would the internet pay to draw a giant ASCII wang on the fuckin' moon?

The person who manages to put Dickbutt on the moon will become World Emperor for Life.
posted by delfin at 4:44 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Make the face more appealing first, it's too spooky. Like maybe add some hair and ears.
posted by waving at 5:39 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is great!
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:40 AM on May 21, 2014

It's simple. Change your name to Neil A. Armstrong, Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr., Michael Collins or Richard Nixon. Plaque left on the moon.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:00 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

You draw your own face. If your drawing technique is permanent then you get the knowledge that your face will look down on humanity forever. Long after our own civilization is a forgotten memory, your face will still be there.

thank you.

Gersen finally tracks Larque down and kills him with cluthe, a paralyzing poison. In his final moments of life, the Darsh begs Gersen to press a button, but Gersen denies him his last request. However, Gersen has divined Larque's last and most grandiose jest, and having exactly the same motivation, he presses the button after the Demon Prince has died. Shanitra is racked by explosions and takes on a new shape, the face of Lens Larque, expression frozen in a leering grin. Gersen then calls Adario Chanseth and dryly informs him there is a "great Darsh face hanging over your garden wall."

but the tick is pretty awesome too.
posted by dorian at 6:25 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

As a former science kid who changed paths in college, the use of "sig fig" in this article made me extremely nostalgic and then irrationally angry because one sig fig I mean really
posted by that silly white dress at 6:52 AM on May 21, 2014

For others who don't get the title, there was a show called The Tick, and a supervillian called Chainface Chippendale. He tried to write his name on the moon but whote the letters too large and was only able to fit in CHA.

I had to Google this.
posted by I am the Walrus at 7:05 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Chairface. Because he has a chair where his head should be. Like ya do.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:19 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

oh. That makes less sense
posted by I am the Walrus at 10:42 AM on May 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, the Tick was a comic before it was a show. (Actually two, but we don't talk about the live-action one.) And the Chairface henchman doing the carving (Professor Chromedome, as I recall) was interrupted by the Tick and Angus McGuire before he got farther than CHA.

Otherwise, right on.
posted by McCoy Pauley at 12:02 PM on May 21, 2014

Firstly, Chairface was burning his name into the moon using a flashlight and a series of magnifying glasses. Because science.

And yeah, Professor Chromedome's ingenious flashlight-magnifying-glass device (with fresh batteries, even!) is shut down because Arthur removes the flashlight and kind of wanders away.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:50 PM on May 21, 2014