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Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
May 23, 2014 11:21 AM   Subscribe

Doing verbal battle at the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships.
posted by Chrysostom (54 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

I understand they're well made and very comfortable.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:28 AM on May 23 [9 favorites]


Here's the first of six video links from the 2014 championship!
posted by iamkimiam at 11:28 AM on May 23 [2 favorites]


They're lining heads!
posted by Madamina at 11:30 AM on May 23 [4 favorites]


I read today that the National Zoo is calling in a team of animal psychologists to help with their narcissistic koala; he'll only eat me-calyptus.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:32 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]


It's a wale of a tale.
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:47 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]


He must have had a weak understanding of Spanish to not know of Spanish puns. Some simple ones.
Esposas means both wives and handcuffs. (not my fault)
I've heard puns off of burrito (the food) and burrito (little burro).
There is the classic story of Chevy Nova not selling in Latin America because no va means "it doesn't go. Nova as a single word means the same in Spanish and English.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:50 AM on May 23 [2 favorites]


My poor performance was a predictable result of my inexperience with the relevant kind of pun.

Should've punted.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:51 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]


Came for the puns. Was not disapunted.
posted by me3dia at 11:52 AM on May 23 [1 favorite]


Want to know if any of the 10 puns he entered won?

No pun in ten did.
posted by joelf at 11:52 AM on May 23 [15 favorites]


If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win.
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:59 AM on May 23 [4 favorites]


I would toast you all if you were better bred.
posted by tempestuoso at 12:00 PM on May 23 [8 favorites]


corduroy pillows? do they make noise when you sleepwalk?
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:03 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win.

To these puns, I say neigh.
posted by tempestuoso at 12:04 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


foopster - they're making headlines. . .
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:04 PM on May 23


I'm flagging this post as offensive. It's Pun-ography.

Curious Artificer, I know, it's the OBVIOUS joke, which neither I nor Wolfdog or Madamina above wished to acknowledge...
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:06 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


That was an enjoyable article about puns, one that owes its success, I think, to the inclusion of so few of them.
posted by notyou at 12:10 PM on May 23 [5 favorites]


I'm flagging this post as offensive.

Not possible. The puns are unflagging.
posted by tempestuoso at 12:22 PM on May 23 [7 favorites]


If ever there's a time to make a "This will wendell" comment that won't get deleted...

Love you, foop
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:26 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


What does the lazy guy do when he goes to the lake? Nada.
posted by sporknado at 1:13 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


Ah, pun championships, bringing to mind the age-old question of which is mightier, the pen or the sword. (In case you're wondering... 'swordplay.)
posted by duffell at 1:29 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win.
It just goes to show you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil has to be lead.
posted by Oriole Adams at 1:32 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win.

Don't be a nag.
posted by duffell at 1:38 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


¿Ud. no nada nada?
--No traje traje.
posted by johnofjack at 1:51 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


He shoulda stud ied.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 2:34 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


*nods*
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:14 PM on May 23


Too many horse puns will make the readers bridle. Rein yourselves in, please.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:17 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


El problema, doctor, es que yo lo coloco y ella lo quita.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 3:18 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win.

In his defense, his puns couldn't be heard as his voice was hoarse.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:23 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


What about the back and forth puns I heard growing up in México? All the puns in popular old TV shows like El Chavo del Ocho? All the off-color puns in the free theater in graveyards around Dia de Muertos? Even the name Don Quijote de la Mancha is like a pun inside a pun wrapped in a pun.

My cousins could go on for hours like:

¿En qué se parece una vaca a un edificio?
En que la vaca es un animal bruto.
Bruto mató a César.
César sin acento es hacer nada.
Nada el que se ahoga con la sangre fria y pesada.
Pesada se divide en dos: Pez, el animal que vive en el agua, y Hada, la señora que regala anillos.
etc...
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 3:29 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


this year’s Punniest of Show winner Alexandra Petri, who also happens to write a pun-heavy column for the Washington Post

well, that partly restores my opinion of the paper after the bad column about MeFi yesterday... it seemed more like the Washing-dumb Post, the Washington Compost, the Unwashing Post, the Post is Toast... WaPo? WaNo! But now, I'm over it - I'm Post-Post.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:31 PM on May 23


...and as a topic in a pun-off, I wouldn't have wanted to be saddled with horses...

I probably would have come off as My Little Phony...
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:34 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


Too many horse puns will make the readers bridle.

A recent gallop poll suggested otherwise.
posted by tempestuoso at 3:36 PM on May 23 [5 favorites]


He's so bad at horse puns, he's clearly unstable.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:37 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


It was a bad topic because 90% of the people who like horses, hate puns. That's according to a Gallup Poll.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:44 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


Hey hay hay? - Horse Spanglish for "Is dinner ready?"
posted by 0xFCAF at 4:18 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


If there's a bbq at next year's competition we could schedule a meat up...
posted by OHenryPacey at 4:58 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


"If he had the "horses" category and couldn't at least go through "pony up", "why the long face", "foaled again" and "old pal-o'-mine-o" he didn't deserve to win."

It's a hand-some topic, but he got hoof-in-mouth disease after he herd the other guy — he was Falabellas, no Shetling. He mare or may not bay back there next year, and has declared he won't get foaled again. He's stud-ying every night, and dreams of his farrier godmother. For now though, he has to kick back, equine, enjoy a draft Colt and watch others gelding the lilies, withers he likes it or not. No use bridling out of the gait, he had to colic a day. Zebra later!
posted by klangklangston at 5:02 PM on May 23 [4 favorites]


Hopefully, I just took that out back and shot it.
posted by klangklangston at 5:06 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


"why the long face" doesn't count as a pun. Signed "Clever Hans"
posted by Obscure Reference at 5:41 PM on May 23


klang, it doesn't behoof you to take such a tack on this topic. Or so I've herd.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:43 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


I'm stumped for a line - I'll just have to pun-t.
posted by lon_star at 7:29 PM on May 23


Too many horse puns will make the readers bridle. Rein yourselves in, please.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:17 PM on May 23


E-pun-isterical!
posted by daisystomper at 8:19 PM on May 23 [2 favorites]


> klang, it doesn't behoof you to take such a tack on this topic.

Ouch, klang. That mustang. Giddy, yup, I bit. I canter-esist, if I see a pun-off and latigo, my heart withers.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:35 PM on May 23 [3 favorites]


My orgasmic skills at punning linguistics may climax at the champeenship if the judges were well-endowed with a nice rack of sordictionaries.
posted by divabat at 10:01 PM on May 23


That mustang.

That reminds me: I had a problem with my electric shaver yesterday. It caught fire mid-shave and singed off half my mustache. Now everything smells like a Lipizzan fire.
posted by tempestuoso at 11:14 PM on May 23 [1 favorite]


Some simple ones.

Here is my favorite Spanish pun.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 4:41 AM on May 24


I once had cause to ask a street vendor how he polished the jewelry he was selling. He pointed to his bicep and said "brazo!" Then to a can of Brasso.

Of course there are puns in Spanish.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:40 AM on May 24


Too many horse puns will make the readers bridle.

That's the mane thing.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:39 PM on May 24


Got this on fetlock.
posted by klangklangston at 7:01 PM on May 24


Tempestuoso, that certainly was no hoof-hearted effort! No one can accuse you of a hackneyed sense of humor. Far be it for me to halter you up, but perhaps just a 'bit' less of it rather than blanketing your post?

I understand you want to demonstrate your Silver tongue and get that Blaze of glory, but it may Trigger Fury in some readers. Don't Flicka the mouse too quickly, pace yourself, but keep posting.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:03 PM on May 24 [1 favorite]


I'm in awe. This truly is a hansom collection of horse puns.
posted by Earthtopus at 12:27 AM on May 25 [1 favorite]


This guy came to ask me for an investment in a horse puns app. But I had to say no.

I think the appaloosa lot of money.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:50 AM on May 25 [1 favorite]


Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up publicly... I don't want to stirrup controversy.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:53 AM on May 25


Let's face it. MeFi is saddled with a bunch of lame and spavined punsters. It's like you're all grooming for competition by going neck and neck and can't curb it. It's a cinch you'll keep on pommel-ing everyone with puns. I'm not trying to stirrup trouble or nag, but I can barley deal with these bad jokes. It's enough to make me shy off posting and drive me buggy.
posted by BlueHorse at 2:02 PM on May 25 [2 favorites]


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