Comments on: Comments on 13941

Post number 13941

MegoSteve — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 08:40:33 -0800

What's wrong with a puppy or a kitty or a fluffy bunny? A concerned relative called police to check on a Delaware man after the man failed to report to work, and police checking his apartment discovered the man's pet monitor lizards feeding on his remains.

By: mrbula

mrbula — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 08:49:29 -0800

By: dong_resin

dong_resin — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:01:28 -0800

"It's a Veeeshish roohdent! Wit' big, shaarp, pointy teeeth!" What? The Holy Grail.... c'mon....

By: malphigian

malphigian — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:03:12 -0800

Hey, those bunnies can have sharp teeth. I once had a friend who got a cute, cuddly bunny for a pet. She named it Forester. Then it started biting people. At that point the family relocated the bunny's cage .... I know you are just kidding around, but people get rabbits and do no work learning how to take care of them, usually including wrong kind of cage, wrong food, wrong handling, wrong training, etc -- I could give you a dozen reasons that rabbit was biting, and how it could have been solved. If you ever have a similar friend, send them here, first, please. (sorry for the tangent, I'm a rabbit owner, and they are really frequently mistreated as you describe).

By: jason

jason — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:04:01 -0800

Seriously, watch the small furry ones. My first pet when I was four was a hamster I named Hey You. Hey You was a vicious little bastard and bit anyone who came near him, often drawing blood.

By: UncleFes

UncleFes — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:05:06 -0800

According to the cops where I used to work, a cat will give you a nibble after you die, especially if you aren't found for a while and they are hungry. Cops told me they once found an elderly woman who (amazingly enough) had about a dozen cats in the house. It was about a week-10 days before they found her, and she had apparently been moderately nibbled.

By: malphigian

malphigian — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:06:59 -0800

It was about a week-10 days before they found her, and she had apparently been moderately nibbled. Lets turn this around, if you were, somehow, trapped in your house for two weeks with no food and no way to get any food, would you consider eating your pet? I bet you might.

By: MrBaliHai

MrBaliHai — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:10:49 -0800

Puppies have certainly been known to nibble their deceased owners as the sad case of Marie Provost will attest. She was a winner who became a doggie's dinner

By: UncleFes

UncleFes — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:14:57 -0800

I don't have a problem with it, just reporting. If I died and my cat was going hungry, I'd be OK with him having a nibble. I mean, I'm done. And I'd definitely have him on the spit before week's end if it was an eat-or-starve situation. I think he'd understand. Plus kittens are typically "free to good home."

By: revbrian

revbrian — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:20:48 -0800

To each his own. I've got two asian water dragons that despite being a little over a foot and a half long can chomp through a 1" thick fish in a single bite. Dogs are usually far more dangerous than reptiles. (not my picture, but it's a good approximation)

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:24:10 -0800

Pet owners, whomever you are: Listen up or you will not go far-- Keep your lizards well fed Or soon you'll be dead And they'll feast upon You Tartar.

By: Frasermoo

Frasermoo — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:24:37 -0800

she had apparently been moderately nibbled I'm sorry but that has made me laugh out loud at my desk. moderately nibbled. - genius.

By: Danf

Danf — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:36:46 -0800

There was a Far Side Cartoon with a monitor lizard tossing aside his human mask and fessing up to his human girlfriend that we was in fact not human. .. the punchline went something like. . ."I'm not your dream lover. . I'm a monitor lizard and a dirty liar."

Mr. Larson is very averse to having his work posted on the net so I'll refrain finding and posting it, but it's one of my all time faves of his. .

By: vito90

vito90 — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:53:48 -0800

I read somewhere that man's best friend will give you 48 hours with no food alternative before he or she will start feasting on your remains. My bassett hound told me I'd get 24 hours, tops.

By: mcwetboy

mcwetboy — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 09:56:12 -0800

My first thought, being a reptile keeper myself, was, what were these lizards doing out of their cages? But then I actually checked the link: Nile monitors. Great! Big, aggressive, foul-tempered. Invariably wild-caught imports. Usually need a room-sized cage, so of course people give them the run of the house instead. (Bad idea, whether you're currently decomposing on the kitchen floor or not.) Why more people don't keep something sensible, like a cute, well-behaved, captive-bred, small spiny-tailed monitor is beyond me. Oh yeah, right, they cost more!

By: bragadocchio

bragadocchio — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:07:22 -0800

The local news coverage goes into more details. Somehow his cat survived also, as did his pet 2-inch-long hissing Madagascar cock roaches. I used to live in the same apartment complex, but never suspected any of my neighbors of harboring exotic reptiles. But I would have freaked out if one of those roaches escaped and made its way into my apartment. MrBaliHai, I thought of Nick Lowe too on reading this morning's paper and seeing this story.

By: briank

briank — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:09:08 -0800

When my uncle died, they found him a couple of days later with his cat sitting right next to him. You figure it out for yourself.

By: adampsyche

adampsyche — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:11:04 -0800

she had apparently been moderately nibbled I'm sorry but that has made me laugh out loud at my desk. moderately nibbled. - genius. My sentiments exactly. New tag line? Come on!!! The pet store by my house (I live in Philadelphia) sells alligators. Real. Fucking. Alligators. Cute little buggers, about 9 inches long. So, I stroll up to the girl at the counter. "What the..." "People keep them in their own rooms, and during the summer in cages in their yards. They eat meat, and sometimes the owners come in and buy bunnies or chickens for them." "What do you do when..." "Well, the zoo used to allow them to be accepted as a donation when they got too large to keep, but they stopped doing that. I don't know what people do with them now." I would like to see genetically modified alligators, who only grow to be about 2 feet max. I would keep one or two in a 100 gallon tank, but lock them up, of course. Lizards are cool.

By: revbrian

revbrian — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:15:56 -0800

[I would like to see genetically modified alligators, who only grow to be about 2 feet max. ] I've often thought of the exact same thing. There are alot of extremely cool animals in the world that get entirely too large. Having some mini-great-white's in the aquarium would rock.

By: tolkhan

tolkhan — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:24:44 -0800

are they certain that the lizards didn't kill the guy? all the pets of the world are busy organizing, and one day they'll all rise up, eat us and take over the world (before destroying themselves with constant infighting).

By: cashmein

cashmein — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:25:05 -0800

1 foot high elephants. Now they, would rock.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:27:49 -0800

man's best friend will give you 48 hours with no food alternative before he or she will start feasting on your remains. Correct. This in fact happened, not to someone who is a friend of a friend, or a distant cousin of a relative, but to my Mom's next door neighbor, last year. Old woman, died of natural enough causes. Didn't find her for five days. Three hungry German Shepherds. It was the most macabre thing that has happened in that small town in recent memory.

By: nprigoda

nprigoda — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:32:40 -0800

(From bragadoccio's link) "They were pretty much his whole life," And he'll always be a part of them! Wow, this gets more and more sad.

By: danOstuporStar

danOstuporStar — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:35:49 -0800

Puppies have certainly been known to nibble their deceased owners ... ... man's best friend will give you 48 hours with no food alternative before he or she will start feasting on your remains. see, i had heard (via my wife's forensic entomology professor) that cats will certainly partake of their dead owner's meat, but that dog's -- due to pack loyalty -- would actually starve themselves instead. a google search (forensic dog eat) seems to indicate you people are correct: 1, 2, 3 (the last being from the very trustworthy straight dope) regarding the case linked. thanks mcwetboy for the research on nile monitors. if they were indeed wild-caught ... frankly the dude deserved what he got. (send flames to he_deserved_it@lunamouse.com)

By: elfgirl

elfgirl — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 10:46:47 -0800

1 foot high elephants. Now they, would rock. ....and stalk drunk folks for grins and giggles.

By: Mid

Mid — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:18:19 -0800

Only marginally related, but check out this story about a tiger attack at the Boise zoo a few years ago. The poor woman got pounced by a tiger during a behind-the-scenes fundraiser tour, and then got shot by a police office trying to scare the tiger away.

By: bshort

bshort — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:22:00 -0800

I'd like to have a herd of little tiny gazelles. Like less than a foot high. That'd be so cute.

By: briank

briank — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 11:59:04 -0800

Sharon Stone's husband can tell you all about what it's like to be eaten by a dragon (not to mention a big lizard)

By: verso

verso — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 12:06:26 -0800

Potbellied Elephants! (beware pop-up obnoxion) They'd be smart like elephants, but small like pigs!

By: hotdoughnutsnow

hotdoughnutsnow — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 12:11:15 -0800

forensic dog eat

By: likorish

likorish — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 12:28:10 -0800

House hippos make wonderful pets. (links to RealVideo clip... consider yourself alterted.)

By: likorish

likorish — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 12:31:43 -0800

Aw, hell. The clip's been moved. My bad. Trust me, they're very, very cute. You can see a photo of the house hippos here, near the end of the page.

By: likorish

likorish — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 12:37:05 -0800

Found the house hippos at Backup Brain. You'll need Quicktime.

By: Salmonberry

Salmonberry — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 13:13:27 -0800

I love the House Hippos. With tiny African animals, I would create a tiny African savannah in my back yard, with regular perennials as trees and some exotic grass for them to hide in. I could put in a slip'n'slide down the middle to act as a river for the crocs and hippos. Then I would charge admission to the world's tiniest game park. Hmmm....I think this has gotten way off-topic.

By: dness2

dness2 — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 13:31:57 -0800

The house hippos are the cutest thing I've ever seen. Maybe I should downgrade that statement to house hyperbole. But it is cute.

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 13:33:52 -0800

2-inch-long hissing Madagascar roaches Wow. That's some serious nightmare fuel.

By: CrazyUncleJoe

CrazyUncleJoe — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 13:35:21 -0800

Hmmm....I think this has gotten way off-topic. It's only a quick sunbathing misadventure from being right back on-topic.

By: kittyloop

kittyloop — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 13:57:20 -0800

check out this story about a tiger attack at the Boise zoo Wow. I remember the tigers at the Boise zoo looking decidedly pissed off...their habitat was so small, it really just gave them room to pace. Now I know they were just waiting for the right moment... And sometimes I'm sure my cats are trying to get me. One of them even took to laying right behind my legs when I was standing at the kitchen counter, so when I stepped away I would stumble over him. I figured they were just trying to get me on the ground, then they could have a moderate nibble.

By: mdn

mdn — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 14:46:30 -0800

Lets turn this around, if you were, somehow, trapped in your house for two weeks with no food and no way to get any food, would you consider eating your pet? to really turn this around, your pet would also have already died of natural causes. I think very few people would not take advantage of this. On the other hand, we humans can be pretty irrational, so that respect for the dead might keep some from eating the body until it was already going bad. There was a piece at the obscure store a while back about a woman who's cat chewed off her lower lip while she slept. I love my cat, but sometimes I'm glad I'm a light sleeper...

By: brittney

brittney — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 15:17:22 -0800

I'm frightened.

By: malphigian

malphigian — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 15:31:11 -0800

There was a piece at the obscure store a while back about a woman who's cat chewed off her lower lip while she slept. I love my cat, but sometimes I'm glad I'm a light sleeper... Make me really glad my current pet is an herbivore.

By: mdn

mdn — Thu, 17 Jan 2002 15:36:54 -0800

sorry folks, it was her dog.

By: jennyb

jennyb — Fri, 18 Jan 2002 08:51:39 -0800

malphigian, as a former rabbit owner, I'm right with you on the Rabbit Rescue crusade. It was quite a rude awakening for me to find out what it was really like to have rabbits as pets, so I try to pass that information on to anyone I know who is considering getting some cute little bunnies... But on-topic, this happened in my home town. Like bragadocchio, I lived in this apartment complex at one point in my life. I would like to see a picture of this guy because I have a sneaking suspicion I would recognize him. I have pretty strong feelings about the private purchase and breeding of exotic animals (as in, I really wish people wouldn't) but I can't seem to summon up a good "he got what he deserved" reaction. Although, you have to wonder what a guy who kept seven big lizzards in a one room efficiency apartment could have been thinking.

By: sacre_bleu

sacre_bleu — Fri, 18 Jan 2002 09:12:18 -0800

Thank you to all involved for this delicious thread. A feast for the imagination.