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One movie, seven theoretical remakes
June 26, 2014 1:01 PM   Subscribe

Point Break (A Wes Anderson film). Point Break (A film by Joe Swanberg). Point Break (A Tommy Wiseu film) Point Break (A film by David Lynch). Point Break (A Terrence Malik film). Point Break (from director Michael Bay). Lars Von Trier's Point Break.
posted by mediocre (26 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
BONUS MATERIAL: Tommy Wiseau's Batman.

The Lars Von Trier version runs kind of long, like they couldn't decide which Trier Trope to go with so they did a supersized parody. My favorite part of the Von Trier section was definitely the Dogme 95 version of Point Breaks legendary skydive.
posted by mediocre at 1:04 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]


The Lars Von Trier version runs kind of long

Can't. Not. Make. Obvious. Joke.


Perhaps that was a Trier Trope choice of the satirist as well.

*sighs heavy sigh of relief*
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:17 PM on June 26 [4 favorites]


Haha.. The fact that it was overlong didn't register as a Trier Trope until you pointed it out..
posted by mediocre at 1:21 PM on June 26


If you want the ultimate, you gotta be willing to make the ultimate post.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:26 PM on June 26


Gimme a break ... What's your point?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 1:28 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]


Man Wes Anderson is just too easy to parody!

Von Trier always makes me feel icky.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 1:28 PM on June 26


Well, they do cut...something...in the Lars Von Trier one.
posted by Ouverture at 1:30 PM on June 26


Gimme a break ... One break, coming up!
posted by mediocre at 1:32 PM on June 26


The guy doing Wiseau didn't get the accent right (or even tried, really, I think), but his Tommy Wiseau laugh is uncanny.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 1:41 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]


Back in the day, I dated a deaf girl. DVDs existed at this point, but weren't widespread. Neither of us had a player. And captioning on VHS with her portable caption display box was very hit or miss. Because of this - and because she lived near a pretty pretentious video store - she would usually bring home foreign films for us to watch because they were subtitled.

The problem was that she was a really sweet girl who just wanted to see heartwarming stories with nice, Hollywood happy endings. But because of the particular circumstances she kept bringing home European art house films that she'd managed to convince herself from the back cover copy were going to be much brighter and happier than they ever were.

Worst ever example of this. She came up with a movie about a couple in which one member was dealing with a disability and the other wasn't, and the movie was about how they dealt with the issues this raised in their relationship and overcame those issues to form a stronger bond with each other. She felt this would reflect some of the challenges we faced as a hearing/deaf couple, and was incredibly excited to watch this movie with me.

That film was Lars von Trier's Breaking the Waves...

I can still remember the look on her face afterwards, and the way she said "That wasn't really what I thought it would be."

Runner up - goofball comedy about a talking dog...
posted by Naberius at 1:42 PM on June 26 [14 favorites]


Ha, these are really quite good, except for the David Lynch one. David Lynch seems to be the hardest for people to parody. And I don't know Joe Swanberg, but that clip looked pretty much like the original scene in Point Break. The rest are pretty spot on.
posted by zardoz at 1:43 PM on June 26


Is Tommy Wiseau's accent even identifiable? It sounds like a cross between.. god, I don't know.. like a cerebral palsy stricken cajun and a Thalidomide baby speaking Serbo-Croatian?
posted by mediocre at 1:47 PM on June 26 [3 favorites]


Only decent Lynch parody I know of, I think it was posted here...
posted by The Power Nap at 2:00 PM on June 26 [10 favorites]


I don't know Joe Swanberg, but that clip looked pretty much like the original scene in Point Break.

Looked, maybe. Sounded? Um, no.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 2:08 PM on June 26


Double.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:10 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]


I agree the Lynch parody wasn't that great. Mostly because it dropped subtlety completely, but faced with time constraints I'm sure they just decided to go with a few of Lynch's most obvious signatures, flashing lights, backwards talk, completely random and context free surreal moments for no readily apparent reason, etc.. The best Lynch parody ever done is probably the Microsoft LYNCH clip above, and a lot of that is because it has a lot of time to develop.
posted by mediocre at 2:11 PM on June 26


Honestly, I'm afraid of what would have if you got David Lynch and Gary Busey in the same place to make a movie.
posted by emptythought at 2:14 PM on June 26


The Michael Bay one wasn't nearly orange/teal enough. I mean, there were still colours!

( dont tell anyone, but secretly, I'd love to see a Kevin Smith parody... )
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 2:16 PM on June 26


Double.

Shit!

Maybe it can get a pass for having included the extra material from the followup clip?
posted by mediocre at 2:16 PM on June 26


Point Break, by Kathryn Bigelow, as a bunch of boys (jokingly) imagine a bunch of other boys would make it. (Yes, I know -- get a sense of humor, Bellman.)
posted by The Bellman at 2:20 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]


You shouldn't joke like that, now someone is going to make Lena Dunham's Point Break. With Dunham as Johnny Utah (born Jenny Utah) and Adam Driver as Bodie.. Actually that sounds kind of fuIMEANANABOMINATIONPLEASEDONTDOIT
posted by mediocre at 2:29 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]


I'm trying to decide whether it would be more Dunham esque for her to play Johnny Utah as a transexual, Jenny Utah as a genderswap, or Johnny Utah-who-is-female-and-don't-get-your-gender-naming-identity-rules-all-over-me-kthxbye. Given that she generally can't play anyone but herself, I am guessing it would be the latter. IMEANSTOPTALKINGABOUTTHISORITWILLHAPPEN.
posted by mediocre at 2:34 PM on June 26


Should have included an Edgar Wright version, just cobbled together from Hot Fuzz clips.
posted by ckape at 2:36 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]


Honestly, I'm afraid of what would have if you got David Lynch and Gary Busey in the same place to make a movie.
posted by emptythought at 5:14 PM on June 26
[+] [!]


Busey was in Lost Highway. He was great.
posted by rock swoon has no past at 3:48 PM on June 26


That was surprisingly meh.
posted by signal at 8:17 PM on June 26


I don't know Joe Swanberg

God, I don't either, but based on that parody he seems like Noah Baumbach turned up to 11 NOTHANKYOU.
posted by psoas at 8:50 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]


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