!Surréalisme!

January 20, 2002 9:07 PM

!Surréalisme! Home of, among many wonders, The Surrealist Compliment Generator--May clinging breasts always come to your aid in the kitchen, was mine--and you can talk to ESMÉ, Cadaveric Enigma Engine Generator*, visit The Department of Objects and Delusions or the cool links page.--and I quote: USENET: For those willing to brave the endless morass of asses, alt.surrealism... Now there's a tagline for here embedded in that there sentence!
posted by y2karl (25 comments total)

*
y2karl: Why does MetaFilter suck so lately?
Esme: There is a lorry by the side of the road.
y2karl: No, I mean really...
Esme: Oh, does that include batteries?
y2karl: How leaden a retort...
Esme: When is the best time to make love?
y2karl: You tell me, Esme
Esme: But a grimace is so enigmatic, how am I to read your grimaces?
y2karl: Elliptically!
Esme: Ask me yourself.
y2karl: Say you wha'?
Esme: Where have you gone m'amante
y2karl: Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio...
Esme: How can this be possible?
y2karl: Haven't you heard of Ann Coulter?
Esme: Dirty linen, anthropomorphic lust.
y2karl: More like entomological, if you ask me.
Esme: Only when I breath. And you?
y2karl: Now and then...
Esme: What is the oatmeal today?
y2karl: Not oatmeal--pancakes!
Esme: Amen, sister!
posted by y2karl at 9:08 PM on January 20, 2002

Your pendulous thorax makes cellists envious of the rotund sounds emanating from your nose in D minor.

Hehe.. that's funny. People tell me I can't sing, and that I cannot sing on-key to save my own life.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:11 PM on January 20, 2002

Smells like a double post to me. At least something many many many have seen before.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:18 PM on January 20, 2002

readymade: how come y2karl is so sad about MetaFilter?
Esme: Ah, the thought fish spoil in the eons bygone.
posted by readymade at 9:21 PM on January 20, 2002

"This page is being reorganized into smaller pages for each artist. We hope you will welcome the occasional resulting chaos as much as we do."

excellent!
posted by thatwhichfalls at 9:26 PM on January 20, 2002

Smells like a double post to me. At least something many many many have seen before.
posted by y2karl at 9:27 PM on January 20, 2002

Smells like a double post to me.

The Compliment Generator was previously linked here, and referred to here. That was ages ago, though, and what we have here is a whole buncha' other fun surrealist stuff. Besides, fish devour cantelopes in Lebanon.
posted by Marquis at 9:30 PM on January 20, 2002

I stand corrected. Generate away.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:36 PM on January 20, 2002

Am I the only one who is having a hard time reading this because of the background? Maybe I'm just generating too much.

"too much hot air!"

shut up
posted by geoff. at 9:38 PM on January 20, 2002

what we have here is a whole buncha' other fun surrealist stuff.

I couldn't tell from the prompt but thought this, at least, a safe assumption.

Kafkaesque: Smells like a double post to me. At least something many many many have seen before.
Esme: Stop it, my golden dog.
posted by y2karl at 9:39 PM on January 20, 2002

I think I just had a preempted flame war with myself.
posted by geoff. at 9:45 PM on January 20, 2002

y2karl: I couldn't tell from the prompt but thought this, at least, a safe assumption.
Esme: Grating like nails on chalkboard with orange that looks like a squid. Behind, the lizards hump.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:58 PM on January 20, 2002

Wittgenstein : Of that which we do not know, we must not speak.
Esme: What time is it?
posted by y2karl at 10:08 PM on January 20, 2002

After viewing that site, my head hurts, and I want my mother to give me something to help with the pain.

I'm going to bed.
posted by trioperative at 10:52 PM on January 20, 2002

Euclid: A point is that which has no part.
Esme: But, of course, don't we operate better by script?
Euclid: A line is breadthless length.
Esme: Why are rhinos always so obscene?
Euclid: The extremities of a line are points.
Esme: But, of course, don't we operate better by script?
Euclid: A straight line is a line which lies evenly with the points on itself.
Esme: Strapping what on?
Euclid: A surface is that which has length and breadth only.
Esme: What is stupid?
Euclid: A plane surface is a surface which lies evenly with the straight lines on itself.
Esme: Gambatte. I come wherever a liquid stream can make music.
Euclid: A plane angle is the inclination to one another of two lines in a plane which meet one another and do not lie in a straight line.
Esme: In the tree, why?
Euclid: And when the lines containing the angle are straight, the angle is called rectilineal.
Esme: Yes, about seven years ago, have you?
posted by moss at 11:47 PM on January 20, 2002

Nothing: If you are indeed a conscious entity, conscious in some way alien to my understanding, how would I be able to tell?
Esme: The cheap dance of abusive behavior, my friend.
posted by Nothing at 12:13 AM on January 21, 2002

Leonard Cohen : "Oh what a greasy tower he there massaged!. . .His right hand beneath the steering wheel, urging, urging, he seemed to be pulling himself into the far black harbour like a reflexive stevedore. . .F's eyes closed suddenly as if they had been squirted with lemon. . ."
Esme: Wearing their wingtips for Weinachten


MiguelCardoso: Well I guess this means I'll have to hurry up with my long-coming Leonard Cohen FPP as there's no other recording artist in the world I love more.
Esme: Obviously a path to nowhere. What is meaningful to thee?
MiguelCardoso: You philistines! You bastards - you've killed Lenny! How dare you allow our younger members think the man who's written the best love lyrics of our time, who's had more sex, booze, poetry, drugs, books and lives than all the rest of us put together, can't write a sex scene!
Esme: Do you have large, bulging black muscles?
MiguelCardoso: I'm almost tempted to make it a "What's your favourite Leonard Cohen song?"; I'm that aggravated. So be warned.
Esme: The rhinoceros speaks frowns in the thick, warm mud.

Hmm, Perissodactylids appear to be Esme's genus of choice. I once knew a person who had a hyrax --which was a surreal pet indeed. And a very ill-tempered animal it was, too...
posted by y2karl at 12:16 AM on January 21, 2002

Jardin Mecanisme has been hanging around Usenet in alt.surrealism and talk.bizarre for as long as I can remember and the compliment generator was one of the very first websites that I ever browsed back in the Mosaic Days. I find its continued existence vaguely comforting, like a moose's tongue in aspic licking the clefted navel of my pineal gland.
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:53 AM on January 21, 2002

y2karl:

I assume the embedded tagline you had in mind was: "MetaFilter: those willing to brave"?
posted by argybarg at 8:10 AM on January 21, 2002

Months of reading Clavdivs' posts make all this pretty tame and dull, really.
posted by dong_resin at 8:59 AM on January 21, 2002

MrBaliHai: Sounds like you peaked before you got on the plane.
posted by y2karl at 9:23 AM on January 21, 2002

Karl, I never needed mind-altering substances to be weird...my brain just works that way naturally. Although I must admit that a trip to the Dali Museum in Figueres last summer helped tune up my somewhat dormant surrealistic proclivities.
posted by MrBaliHai at 10:54 AM on January 21, 2002

Take a circle, caress it, and it will turn vicious.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:27 AM on January 21, 2002

my somewhat dormant surrealistic proclivities

heh heh

Another Miguelista...
posted by y2karl at 12:58 PM on January 21, 2002

If I were to combine your blood, toes, and hair, it might not be you, but it would be enough for my basic desires.
posted by Erendadus at 6:45 PM on January 21, 2002