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The Wikipedia Entry for Guam, Retold as a YA Novel
July 2, 2014 4:44 PM   Subscribe

The Wikipedia Entry for Guam, Retold as a YA Novel This is just one of several awesome literary parodies on The Toast lately. Some others: Ever French Novel Ever My Prestigious Literary Novel and Just A Normal Bestselling Teen Novel
posted by pocketfullofrye (17 comments total) 33 users marked this as a favorite

These are amazing.
posted by kyrademon at 4:50 PM on July 2




posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:25 PM on July 2 [3 favorites]

I wonder what it’s like to be a housekeeper. I bet it’s really interesting and authentic, probably.
Best part of the literary novel.
posted by kenko at 5:27 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

♥ u, Mallory Ortberg
posted by kenko at 5:28 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

There's also Every Russian Novel Ever, and I just love all of these, they're pitch perfect.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:30 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

Oh, and also Every English Novel Ever, and Mallory Ortberg is now one of my favourite people in the world.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:32 PM on July 2 [2 favorites]

The teen novel is amazeballs, and I don't use that word lightly.
posted by kenko at 5:32 PM on July 2

(Although if a day is "the last day of my sixteenth year", then, one year later, it's incorrect that "Tomorrow I’d be eighteen". But I will forgive you for that, Mallory Ortberg.)
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:36 PM on July 2

I think the continuity error is part of the parody in that case.
posted by Tesseractive at 5:43 PM on July 2 [2 favorites]

Oh my god.
posted by Songdog at 5:50 PM on July 2

I read right past that, interpreting "last day of my 16th year" as "last day of my being 16".
posted by kenko at 5:58 PM on July 2

At first, I thought this one was a pitch-perfect parody of the comments section at the Telegraph, but no, those are just some actual Telegraph comments that Mallory Ortberg found. Though they're still pitch-perfect parodies.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 6:54 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

You missed Every Irish Novel Ever, which includes "The Boy Sickens"

Also, Ortberg is the best. May I remind you of "Why I am Leaving New York City"? I think she is the most consistently funny writer on the Internet today.
posted by blahblahblah at 7:38 PM on July 2 [4 favorites]

I...kind of want to read the Teen Novel. And its sequels.
posted by leahwrenn at 8:23 PM on July 2

Mallory Ortberg is an international treasure and the Toast is the best thing on the internet and, just possibly, in human history.

Not to be hyperbolic or anything.
posted by jokeefe at 8:43 PM on July 2 [2 favorites]

I can't handle how amazing Mallory Ortberg and The Toast have been. I mean, I read Texts from a Ghost a few years ago and cried my eyes out over a fictional ghost stuck in a cellphone, but the consistency and frequency of Ortberg's output is just astounding.

I rarely do this, but you should really pre-order her book Texts from Jane Eyre. Haven't been this excited about a book in a while.
posted by Phire at 8:54 PM on July 2 [1 favorite]

She's also the genius author of Children's stories made horrific
posted by palegirl at 10:17 AM on July 3 [2 favorites]

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