Real Big Fish.
January 22, 2002 8:16 AM   Subscribe

Real Big Fish. "Bruce" is a goldfish the size of an average housecat. What did they feed it?
posted by lostbyanecho (35 comments total)
 
Doesn't that just make it a koi/carp?
posted by donkeyschlong at 8:22 AM on January 22, 2002


who wants to be the size of an average housecat, when there is TUBCAT
posted by sawks at 8:35 AM on January 22, 2002


Please stop. I'm begging you now. I really want to be polite and kind and nice, but I see no point in posting this link other than the fact that we can all nod like morons and go 'Hyup, that's a big ol' fish', which I admit, might be fun for hours on end with the right drugs, but I don't have any of the right drugs. In fact, I don't have any drugs at all other than alcohol and caffeine, since I'm pushing forty and living in Korea where even looking at pharmaceuticals will get you thrown into a prison somewhere, and heck, kids, even though it's well know that the prisons in Korea are better than those in say, Bangkok, or Tijuana (neither of which I've spent time in, thank you very much), well heck, it's still no picnic. So, my point is probably that the fact that you've posted such a pointless and uninteresting link, lostbyanecho, one that is guaranteed to produce little if any discussion whatsoever, and one that in fact I (speaking for myself, of course) could only possibly develop the slightest bit of interest in if and only if I were to consume pharmaceutical substances that are banned in a very emphatic way in the country in which I live, has, if I spend one more moment in this thread, possibly doomed me to years in prison and the concommitant involuntary sodomy, well, golly, I must object!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:36 AM on January 22, 2002


*breathes
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:37 AM on January 22, 2002


Actually, goldfish will grow as big as the container you put them in (more or less.) I'm sure that the maximum size is genetically determined, which is why they bred them.

But yeah, why isn't this just a koi? Are they different species?
posted by tweebiscuit at 8:43 AM on January 22, 2002


All that and no pics... what a disappointment!
posted by Hugh2d2 at 8:48 AM on January 22, 2002


THANK YOU Tubcat! (for making my day).
posted by almostcool at 8:50 AM on January 22, 2002


Gotta agree with StWC. This story is a non-event. Now, if they'd have had a picture of that fat bastard...well, that might have been a little noteworthy.
posted by ColdChef at 8:51 AM on January 22, 2002


Did anybody else notice that the fish had been bred (in part) by Jackie Chan?
posted by hob at 8:56 AM on January 22, 2002


Hyup, that's a big ol' fish...
posted by spilon at 9:00 AM on January 22, 2002


Starvos' soliloquy made that FPP entirely worth it.
posted by adampsyche at 9:04 AM on January 22, 2002


the article with no image is so weird and wacky, I emailed it to everyone I know!
posted by panopticon at 9:04 AM on January 22, 2002


Chicken:

Yeah, I guess we probably should re-hash the excrutiating minutia of US politics again. It has been almost ten hours.

Lighten up, guy. MeFi is swiftly gaining a bone-dry image and there's no reason to bitch when someone goes against it.
posted by Electric Jesus at 9:09 AM on January 22, 2002


Personally, I've learned two very valuable lessons from this thread:

First, that I should consider using Koreans as the core of my elite guard in the New Regime.

Second, that I should consider using gigantic goldfish as a new & exciting televised execution technique. Probably to be reserved for political prisoners.
posted by aramaic at 9:16 AM on January 22, 2002


actually i am starting to crave some hush puppies and coleslaw right about now......
posted by bunnyfire at 9:34 AM on January 22, 2002


Personally I found this story on the same page MUCH more...er...interesting.
posted by airgirl at 9:35 AM on January 22, 2002


What bunnyfire said.
Let's fry up that sum'bitch.
posted by dong_resin at 9:47 AM on January 22, 2002


Stavros sounds like one of those bitter lonely homeless people who's Just Angry in General and ends up pissing out his life story in the midst of his tirade.

He's too much: he doth protest too much, and his rant reeked of "too much information."
posted by donkeyschlong at 9:52 AM on January 22, 2002


"too much information." posted by donkeyschlong

indeed.
posted by krewson at 9:59 AM on January 22, 2002


Yo! Lay off the chicken man!

He's just been a little testy since that whole chicken-head-McNugget thing.
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:00 AM on January 22, 2002


Doesn't that just make it a koi/carp? No, unless a chiuahua is a great dane. Goldfish=Carassius auratus; Koi=Cyprinus carpio...They can interbreed and probably have very common roots, but centuries of ornamental breeding (like with dogs) have produced some real freaks (no dorsal fins, bubble eyes, etc.) I prefer tropical (warm water) fish, and I have three African Cichlids that are eleven years old.
posted by Mack Twain at 10:08 AM on January 22, 2002


goldfish mu shoo with, wait, wait for it, pancakes.
posted by m@ at 10:21 AM on January 22, 2002


This is so funny, because I have a 75 lb. cat...
posted by Ty Webb at 10:36 AM on January 22, 2002


Is it a very angry goldfish, with a laser on its head?
posted by coelecanth at 10:58 AM on January 22, 2002


what color is the goldfish?
posted by panopticon at 11:01 AM on January 22, 2002


What did they feed it? All right, who said "monitor lizards"? [rimshot] And if that doesn't strike your fancy, how about trout that eat rattlesnakes? (Scroll down to the sixth paragraph of the article.)

I've encountered carp on the Great Lakes: big aggressive fish that don't hesitate to ram unsuspecting, wading, amateur field naturalists. Unpleasant, alien, introduced fish, and I don't care if the Czechs eat them for Christmas.
posted by mcwetboy at 11:01 AM on January 22, 2002


Heh. I just remember that the mechanical shark used in Jaws was named "Bruce". Prob'ly not a coincidence.
posted by dong_resin at 11:58 AM on January 22, 2002


Panopticon,
Gold.
posted by DragonBoy at 12:15 PM on January 22, 2002


bunnyfire said: actually i am starting to crave some hush puppies and coleslaw right about now......

I'm partial to Welsh Rabbit ;)
posted by terrapin at 12:21 PM on January 22, 2002


Starvos' soliloquy made that FPP entirely worth it.

No, it didn't.
posted by KLAX at 2:13 PM on January 22, 2002


I've heard they have catfish the size of cars in West Virginia, but that may just be (non-West) Virginian propaganda...
posted by dagnyscott at 3:54 PM on January 22, 2002


"I've heard they have catfish the size of cars in West Virginia"

Do they tell stories of them scaring divers?

In North Dakota it's tales of giant carp. I think that story is everywhere. In fact, Snopes debunks the entire tale.
posted by Windigo at 5:07 PM on January 22, 2002


Sorry. It was an attempt at humour.

With mixed results, of course. I still think it's an inappropriate FPP though.

bitter lonely homeless people who's Just Angry in General and ends up pissing out his life story in the midst of his tirade

I like that image, I must say. Just Angry in General ought to be my new personal tagline. Tattooed on my forehead...
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:47 PM on January 22, 2002


Virginia is for lovers. West Virginia is for hateful perversions of God's creatures.
posted by Hildago at 7:42 PM on January 22, 2002


Catfish grow to huge sizes. I caught one in South Carolina over 75 pounds. Your average river catfish is 1 to 2 pounds. It doesnt look like a catfish as we know it more like a brown water ballon with whiskers. Skinning the sucker consists of pulling with pliars from the tail-end.
posted by stbalbach at 7:45 PM on January 22, 2002


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